Chapter 19
I knew it had likely only been a few hours, but it was something about this place that felt like it had already been an eternity. There was an odd type of muted sadness to my surroundings and it made me work even harder to not give into it. So much was riding on my ability to keep it together and withhold my powers. If this was an entirely different situation I would have eradicated Dimitri and everyone else helping him, but from his threats I now knew that my once hasty behavior came with consequences. Those consequences weren’t just things I could shrug and mutter some noncommittal I’m sorry towards.
No, those consequences were bigger than myself. I bent my legs, bringing them to my chest as I rested my head on my knees. I thought back to Nick in Purgatory and how he fought so hard to keep his shit together even though everything inside of him was disintegrating. He saw the bigger picture and put himself last, which ultimately could have cost him his life. I tried to think about what he would say to me right now.
Would it be something similar to what I told him?
Would he think up something just for me, to get me through this?
Maybe I didn’t need him to say anything at all…maybe I could just picture him coming in here with his heroic attitude.
I didn’t particularly love the idea of needing Nick to save me. I didn’t like the idea of anyone needing to save me. I could hold it together. Dimitri had to maintain his destructive boundaries unless he wanted the wrath of Lucifer on his ass. I had yet to meet the man, but he didn’t seem like a fun time when he was angry. I thought about Nick’s mind and the tiny threads of darkness I still felt there, the pieces that lingered.
He was hardly waking up in a sweaty mess anymore and he was doing better with his breathing techniques and just handling everything that I didn’t really think to bring up something I’d noticed. The hollow piece of him, the place where his father should reside was thick with an essence I could only label as resentment. It felt sad and betrayed but not in a hateful sense, it was like it wanted to bust out of its place inside of him and come to terms with whatever was holding it back, but the opportunity never presented itself.
It wasn't necessarily a debilitating thing if it was handled properly, but since Nick had never even attempted to talk to his father, I would say it was never handled at all. I wondered if Dimitri could sense that. Was it that potent for him to latch onto and fuck with him all the way from Hell?
I should have said something….
I put my hand up to my face and focused. Tiny golden sparks flickered at my fingertips and skinny wisps of black curled around my knuckles as if they were greeting each other.
I heard footsteps outside the stone door, quickly ceasing any sort of power I had on display. I swiveled around on the floor so I could look at whoever was coming inside. My face scrunched up in distaste when Dimitri entered the room, but he wasn’t alone.
I felt her presence before I saw her. Lilith glided in after him, tilting her head to the side when she noticed me on the floor. She looked almost like she was trying to figure out where she had gone wrong. Her long flowing dress bellowed around her feet, the silk texture more than likely collecting dust as she stood there.
“I thought you might like to see a friendly face.” Dimitri gave me a smile as if his gesture was anything but annoying.
My eye twitched at the term friendly but I never looked away from her.
“He really does have you down here, doesn’t he?” Her long platinum blonde hair flowed past her shoulders, moving as she shifted her stance. “I thought he was joking.”
Dimitri glanced over at me and grimaced at my silent response. “It is rude to not say thank you when I’m bringing you visitors.”
It was my turn to grimace. My shoulders tensed when Lilith started to walk up to me, squatting down when she was closer than I would have liked. “I thought you were dead. I thought that stupid boy of yours killed you and I dreamed about his agonizing suffering everyday since. I did wonder if he was wallowing in self pity thinking about what he’d done, but no, of course you are still here. My resilient girl.” She reached out, her blood red fingernails grazing my neck. I hissed when they made contact with the raw skin from Dimitri’s burn.
“Your disobedience has gotten you into so much trouble, hasn’t it.” It wasn’t a question and even if it had been I wouldn’t have been in the mood to offer up an answer.
“It was just a little warning. That’s all.” Dimitri cracked his neck. I flicked my eyes up to him to find him fiddling with the cuffs of his button-down shirt.
Lilith moved her hand to my cheek, the area still tender from where his palm had struck me. She pressed her fingertip into my cheekbone and her eyes sparkled at the way I winced. “I forgive you for hiding from us and thinking you could live some life you think you deserve.”
I narrowed my eyes at her. “Fuck you.”
Dimitri tutted. “You should be kinder to someone willing to offer you something we all know you want.”
“I don’t want anything from you,” I said in a steady voice. My throat aching just a little with each word.
Lilith smiled at me. “Oh, I’m sure that’s not true. Dimitri and I came to an understanding while you were playing hide and seek. And once we saw your beautiful display of power, well even though I was quite upset with you, I knew the perfect thing to get you to trust us again.”
Dimitri came up behind her, placing his only hand on her shoulder. I noticed the Queen of Darkness stiffened a small bit. It was an odd gesture, one I’d never seen her display before. She exuded the same power she always had, but it was almost like I was seeing what Dimitri had been talking about. He’d taken into consideration my words about it looking as if Lilith called the shots, made the rules and outranked him.
The fact that he was gracious enough to include her in this at all was beyond my realm of understanding. Then I blinked, considering that he still needed her in some way. Maybe as a scapegoat, or maybe he actually thought I still had any desire at all to please her and bend over backwards for her attention. I nearly cringed at that thought.
There was something about the way he held her shoulder, like he was constantly reminding her of who was in charge and that her stance in this realm could be revoked with a snap of his fingers.
“I talked Lilith into bestowing a gift to you. You do remember how much I loved giving you gifts, sweetheart.” He snapped his fingers and she opened her palm out in front of her.
Ribbons of darkness and clouds of gray smoke came from her hand. Something started to form, the smoke became bigger as the ribbons spun around it. I furrowed my eyebrows, irritated and annoyed at this.
“I don’t fucking—” I started but Dimitri shushed me, placing a finger to his lips.
I was prepared to tell him where he could put his fucking finger when the smoke melted away and the ribbons unthreaded themselves from one another to reveal this ‘gift’. My hands trembled at the item staring back at me. No, not just an item. A weapon.
My weapon.
My dagger.
I never took my eyes off the curved pointed end, the razor slits down the middle, the brown leather hilt that always felt so natural in my palm. I felt my fingers twitch wanting to feel the indentation of my name along my fingertips. It looked exactly the same, nothing was out of place and it was crazy how I still felt the connection toward it.
“What the hell is this?” I asked, my eyes unmoving.
“A little incentive, pretty girl.” Dimitri knelt down so that he was right next to me. They were boxing me in and right now, I didn’t care.
Lilith removed her hand, but the dagger floated in place. “I remember the twinkle of mischief in your eye when I gave you that dagger. Don’t you remember how powerful you felt? Imagine what that will feel like along with those hybrid powers. You would be unstoppable.” She flicked her fingers forward and the dagger swayed over to me. I kept my hands at my sides, but everything in me wanted to snatch it up and let every single ounce of power she’d given it mix with mine. “Imagine what you could do if something you used to enhance your darkness could handle all that light as well.”
Dimitri lightly dusted my curls from my shoulder, running his fingers along my neck. “Do you really think those angels in that less than perfect realm would let you be who you are? Do you think they deserve to go on hiding behind all those fake smiles and deceit? We demons don’t try to be something we’re not. You’d be free to wield this weapon as you wish.” He leaned into me as if he was inhaling my scent. “They would make you work for their respect but you would never get it. That is no way to live, especially for someone of your stature. The only thing I desire from you is a simple show of power and we can make them work to respect you .”
I felt his breath on my neck and I tried to imagine the picture he painted. I wanted power and I wanted the dagger that gave me comfort. I liked the power of compulsion, but it wasn’t my torture of choice. Most lesser demons who watched me loved when I used it and so I did but….the dagger wasn’t all that I was though.
I didn’t want to expand Hell, but I also didn’t want Heaven’s Gate to be run by a tyrannical dictator. I didn’t want to be used and abused for what I could do by anyone, not Ariel and not by fucking Dimitri.
My hands stopped shaking. I felt the presence of both their bodies and I had to hold back my vomit when I became more aware of how close Dimitri was to my skin. I turned slightly toward him. “I appreciate your offer, but kindly go fuck yourself.” I managed to keep my light at bay as I shot out shadows at the Son of Hell, causing him to go flying at the wall.
The dagger disappeared from my view as Lilith moved away from me, standing up straight. Dimitri growled as he shoved away from the wall, stomping over to me and striking my other cheek with the back of his hand. I instinctively went to grab hold of my hurt cheek, but he grabbed my hair, pulling so hard I felt a burning sensation in my scalp. He tilted my head back so I was forced to look at him. His face started to distort, melting away into the one he was born with.
His green eyes that turned up in the corners started to sink in, almost to nothing but black holes. Dimitri’s skin started to decay into a gray color and sparks of red and black flames feathered off him. They singed my skin each time they made contact.
“You would do well to be reminded of what is at stake when you decide to be disrespectful.” His voice was hollower now, less casual. It was almost like an echo and it vibrated through every part of my body. He pulled my head back harder and tears started to form, but I didn’t let them fall.
I felt the tingles of warmth at my fingers wanting to come and protect me.
No, no. Fucking no.
I held on while the tension and pressure at my head increased.
“Dimitri, your father is waiting.” Lilith, who looked unfazed by his transformation, caught his attention.
He tightened his hold on my hair, but then swung me backwards so that my head landed on the stone. I heard a crack and there were small stars behind my eyes. I blinked rapidly, clearing my vision as I grabbed the side of my head. I pulled my hand back, noticing that blood stained my fingers.
My vision was becoming less blurry, noticing that Dimitri was finger-combing his hair back into place. His tattoos were all back in the same spots and his green eyes pierced into mine. “Ah, yes. I forgot. Planting important seeds for when everything comes to fruition.” He winked at me as if nothing had just transpired between us.
Before he could keep my attention for long, I looked over at Lilith, rounding up shadows in my hand, thinking that if I couldn’t hurt precious Dimitri then he wouldn’t mind me causing some damage to the first person to fuck me over.
My shadows were halted when he spoke, “before I forget, let me remind you, sweetheart, that lives are at stake.” He waved his hand in the middle of the room and a dark flat circle formed, almost like a portal. There was nothing but black until something began showing up. There were faces, three distinct faces.
It was Garrett’s family.
Leah, Yuri and Jasmine. Their faces looked dirty and wherever they were appeared to be cold and damp. It was likely another area of this place, but just further below. Jasmine's face looked blotchy as if she’d been crying and Leah had Yuri tucked under arm, soothing him.
“You said you just had people keeping an eye on them,” I accused, tearing my eyes away from them.
Dimitri sighed. “I do. I never said I didn’t have them in a safe place for safe keeping. You never asked and I don’t just offer up information without reason, sweetheart. I truly don’t like hurting others who don’t deserve it. This sweet little family could live in peace in the world I’d like you to help build. I don’t have anything against Enchanters, by all means they are the true victims of those angelic beasts.” He gazed over at the magical screen and shook his head as if he was visibly distraught. His green eyes narrowed when he looked at me again. “You try to move against me with your cute little shadows again and I’ll slit one of their throats in front of their mother. Lucky for you I’ll let you choose which one and if you decide you can’t choose then I’ll just kill them both.”
He sauntered over to me, placing his hand underneath my chin, tilting my face up. I tried to pull away, but his grip just got tighter. “And if by some chance you get out of this after that, have fun explaining to your necromancer that you couldn’t behave enough to save his children. You see Dani, like I said, you make the wrong move, everyone hurts. You make no moves, people still hurt.” He pushed my face away and turned around, preparing to leave.
Lilith watched me, a look of pity in her eyes. “And you thought I was bad. Stupid, stupid girl.”
I reached toward the place where my head throbbed, pulling my hand back and seeing more blood coating my palm. “The only stupid thing I’ve done was think you ever gave a shit about me. You wanted to create something that obeyed you and did your bidding, yet all you’ve done is made me hate you.”
She laughed. “Hate is a powerful feeling. I would lean into it, I’m sure all those angels who don’t understand you do. The ones who see you as a threat, the ones that see you as a monster .”
My hands curled into fists at that word. That wasn’t what I was.
“A beautiful monster if I might add. Stubborn, but beautiful,” Dimitri added before removing the visual of Garrett’s family.
Lilith hummed, leveling her glare at me. She unfolded her hand towards me, streams of dark magic enveloped me. A whooshing sound filled my head and sounded loud in my ears. I tried to cover my ears, apply pressure to the sides of my head to make it stop. “Without me and my efforts, Dimitri would not have you. You would just be a pathetic girl dying by a tree in the woods if it wasn’t for me. You would just be a fragile angel, nothing special. You let those soft creatures get into your head, so let me remind you that I will always be the evidence of how far you’ve come and sadly from the looks of it, you haven’t come far at all.” She looked around the dirty, stone covered cell. The dirt caking the corners and the blood dried up on the floor.
Dimitri cleared his throat, causing her to stop. I felt instantly exhausted and more of a throbbing sensation in my head.
I licked my lips, taking a deep breath. “I used to admire you. Now I feel sorry that you feel the need to follow behind a man whose ego is big enough to fill this entire prison.” I spat back, watching as her lip curled.
Dimitri opened the door for her before she could say another word. “Rest up, pretty girl. If you can’t be motivated by things , I’ll just have to be a bit more forceful now, won’t I? We will figure out a way to get that power out of you.” He turned on his heels to begin walking out of the cell, but then he turned back, rubbing his chin. “I do wonder how that angel with the feeble tasting blood is doing. I should pay that mind of his a visit, nothing drastic.”
My hand felt hot, like it wanted to create a giant ball of power like it had in Natalia’s training room. I dug my nails in my palm so hard, I thought I might rip through my own flesh. “Just leave him…”
Dimitri wrinkled his nose and shushed me. “Unlike your previous advisor, I won’t need to rip out your soul to get what I want, trust me. I need you fully intact. Now your spirit, well that I am willing to break.”