Chapter Eleven
Charlotte was nervous when Ben pulled up at her place to take her to Giuseppe’s.
She hadn’t expected to be, but she was. This really did feel like a first date, only worse in many ways.
She wasn’t meeting a total stranger. She was meeting her oldest friend, a man she described as her soul mate, and yet, in some ways he did feel like a total stranger.
She knew so little about his life now, so little about what he’d done in all the years they’d been apart.
They weren’t just getting to know each other, they were starting to get to know each other again.
Getting to know who they each were now. They shared so much history, but they still had so much to learn.
She’d been ready far too early, she’d been sitting out here on the porch waiting for what felt like ages, but she was still surprised to see Ben’s car.
She smiled when he climbed out and greeted her with a smile. “I’m sorry I’m late.”
“You’re not. I was way too early. I’m nervous, can you believe that?”
“Hell yeah, I can. I’m nervous too.” He smiled. “Who would’ve guessed that being nervous would make us each react the opposite way?”
She raised an eyebrow “What do you mean?”
“I mean it makes you early and it makes me late.”
She laughed. “Yeah, we must have it bad, huh?”
“I know I do.” The way he looked at her made her insides melt. He was so damned gorgeous.
He held his arm out to her. “Shall we?”
She slipped her arm through his with a smile. “Yes, please.”
When they arrived at the restaurant, she looked around. Giuseppe’s had been the new place when she was last here. Now it seemed old and a little rundown. They didn’t seem too busy either.
When they were seated and they’d ordered their drinks, Ben reached across the table and took hold of her hand. “I can’t believe we’re really here, really doing this.”
“Me neither. I’m afraid I’m going to wake up at any moment and I’ll be back in my flat in London and this will all have been a dream.”
He smiled. “It is a dream, but it’s a dream come true.”
The server returned with their drinks. “Do you need a few minutes?”
Ben raised an eyebrow at her. She smiled and said, “No, we’ll share a large pizza, pepperoni, sausage, and extra cheese.”
“Will that be all?”
“Yes, that’s it. Thank you.”
Ben chuckled. “I wondered if you’d remember.”
“Remember? How could I ever forget?”
For a moment, he looked sad and Charlotte squeezed his hand again, feeling terrible. “I wasn’t sure, I didn’t know. I haven’t known all these years, Charlie. All the little things that, to me, were unforgettable, I didn’t know …”
“Well, you do now. No matter how it may have seemed, no matter what you thought after … After what my parents did to us. Now you can know with absolute certainty that I never forgot. I never forgot anything. Not one single little silly thing.” She met his gaze, trying to blink away the tears that threatened to fall.
“I’m sorry, I don’t mean to get all heavy on you straightaway.
It just breaks my heart to think that you doubted.
Don’t get me wrong, I understand why. I doubted too.
When you didn’t answer that last long letter I sent you … I doubted everything.”
“But now we know better. Now you know that if I’d ever received that letter I would have answered you.” He nodded, looking close to tears himself. “And now I know that you didn’t think the resort was more important to me than you were.”
“I still can’t believe they did that.”
“I spent a lot of time trying to understand it. I don’t want to be angry at them, I want to try to see why they thought it was best for you.”
“You’re too understanding, Ben. You want to believe that they were doing the best for me. I can’t make myself believe that. They do what’s best for them—always have—and I suppose they always will.”
“And what did they think of you coming back here?”
She shrugged. “I don’t know what they’ll make of it, and I don’t really care.”
“You didn’t tell them?”
“No. I didn’t. I didn’t want to have to deal with them and their opinions.
I just left. Don’t look at me like that.
Please don’t disapprove. I will talk to them, but it takes them a while to catch up.
I only just got my divorce through and they thought Alastair was quite a catch.
” Ben still didn’t look convinced. “Have you told your parents?”
Ben shook his head. “No, but you know that’s not because I’m afraid of getting any resistance from them.”
Charlotte’s stared at him for a long moment. “Do you get along with them any better these days?”
Ben shook his head sadly. “No. I rarely see them anyway. I didn’t want to get them all excited about seeing you. And I sure as hell didn’t want to hear, yet again, what a failure I am to have lost you in the first place.”
“Okay, this is supposed to be a first date, remember?” She didn’t want their new beginning to be bogged down in all the sadness of the past. “So, Mr. Handsome and Mysterious Stranger, what do you do for fun?”
He smiled. “I know you’re probably expecting me to say work, but I’ve been trying out all kinds of things lately.”
“Like what? Anything I can join in on?”
“Absolutely. You know I’ve lived at the resort all my life and I’d never taken advantage of all the activities we offer. These last few months, I’ve been taking one of the boats out when I get a chance; I even went out in the mountains on a four-wheeler.”
“I’m impressed!”
“Me too. I’ve been having all kinds of fun, and I’d love to share it with you.”
“When’s your next day off? We should go do something.”
“I’ve been taking Tuesdays off since Angel ….” He stopped abruptly and met her gaze.
Charlotte’s heart sank; she’d decided she wasn’t going to mention Angel this evening. She decided it was probably best to move on and ignore it. “Since you’ve had an assistant?”
Ben nodded. “Yeah. After you and I talked in Vegas, I really got to thinking. I’ve spent so much of my life waiting and working, that I forgot to get on with living.”
“Oh, Ben.”
“No, it’s a good thing, really. You know I’m naturally a workaholic, so it was easy for me to lose myself in work and I enjoy it, you know that. But after I spent that night telling Chance our whole story, I remembered how I always used to say you were chasing tomorrow.”
She smiled at that. “I always loved that phrase, you know. Even though it felt like you disapproved.”
“It wasn’t so much that I disapproved, it was just that I wanted to live the day we were in.” He rubbed his hands over his face, but not before Charlotte saw the glistening tears in his eyes. “I always thought there’d be plenty of time for tomorrow, that we’d share all our tomorrows.”
“So did I.” Charlotte swallowed—hard.
“Anyway.” Ben smiled and squeezed both her hands. “After we saw each other in Vegas, I made myself a promise. I decided that I need to live each day like there’s no tomorrow. Because ….” His voice cracked. “We never know if there will be.”
Charlotte swiped at the tears that were rolling down her cheeks.
“Do you mind if I join you in that? I think that’s the best philosophy for life I’ve ever heard.
I think it’s what we should do, you and I.
We should live like there’s no tomorrow.
Especially since we can never make up for all the yesterdays we lost.”
The server chose that moment to return with their pizza. Ben let go of her hands and swiped at his own tears. He served her the first slice, just as he’d always done when they were kids. “Do you still have hollow legs?”
She laughed. “I still eat like a horse, but I’m getting worried as I get older. I mean, even hollow legs must fill up eventually, and I’m scared that once they do, I’ll suddenly gain huge amounts of weight.”
Ben laughed. “You could always try to cut down on the amount you eat.”
She tried to look offended. “That’s not very gentlemanly of you.”
He laughed. “Well, you can hardly claim that the way you eat is very ladylike, can you?”
Charlotte looked down. She’d already picked up her pizza and folded it in half to eat with her fingers. Ben’s fork was poised mid-air. She shrugged. “This guy I used to know once told me it was quite endearing. He didn’t like girls who were fussy and picked at their food.”
“He still doesn’t. You know I’m only teasing.”
She took a huge bite of pizza and grinned at him as she munched.
“Since that mouthful is going to take you a while, I’ll tell you another thing I’ve been enjoying for the last couple of years, and that’s hanging out with the gang again.
It’s awesome having everyone move back here.
For years, it was just me and Miss. Everyone else had made their way out into the world, and I never would have believed that any of them would come back.
Then over the last couple of years, they all have. It’s awesome.”
Charlotte smiled. “I’ve been so jealous of everyone getting to come back here. I didn’t think anyone would either. I mean, I used to think that it’d be impossible. How could anyone make a living up here? And yet it seems there are so many ways.”
Ben grinned. “So very many. From Dan and his secret squirrel computer stuff to Pete moving his headquarters up here.”
“I love that Emma’s back and writing her books.”
Ben nodded. “Yeah, me too. She’s so happy now.”
“It seemed to me like that husband of hers is responsible for that.”
“Jack’s a great guy.”
“And the fact that Missy married his brother. I love that. It’s like everyone’s becoming one big family.”
“We are.” The way he held her gaze made Charlotte shiver. Would they ever be family now? Would they end up getting married like they’d planned to all those years ago?
“And Lily’s running the stables, right?” Charlotte knew that she was; she just needed to say something to break the moment. She was afraid she might ask him to marry her right here and now if he kept looking at her like that.
“She is. And she’s happy. She just got engaged, too. Did you know?”