37. Isaac
37
Isaac
Zay looked like I just told her she was about to meet the President.
“Your mother? Right now?”
“Yeah.”
“Why?”
I shrugged. “She just said to bring you in there.”
“How did she even know I was here?”
“My bighead brothers. What’s wrong?”
“I just…” she trailed off, smoothing her hair back. “I didn’t expect…I’m still a little high, and it’s so soon. Plus, I look like you just fucked the life out of me. And she’s sick—“
“She’s not sick,” I snapped. “Just come back with me. She won’t bite. I promise.”
I stood and held out my hand. She stared at it for a few seconds before she took it and allowed me to pull her to her feet. I had to damn near drag her to room 415.
She inched past the door, squeezing my hand until it hurt. My mother turned to us, smiling even as she lay in her hospital bed, because she’d just found out, like we did, that she wasn’t going anywhere, and she was just as relieved as she was happy.
“Mama, this is Officer Davis.”
If looks could kill, Zay would have been charged with my murder. My mama laughed quietly, but I let out a loud guffaw, partly because I was still expelling relief.
“Why did you—“
“It’s alright,” Mama said, cutting her off. “Come on over here and let me look at you.”
Zay tiptoed over to the bed, and I took my place at her side, wrapping my arm around her waist. She really did look like she just got slutted out, but my mama wouldn’t know the difference.
“Nice to meet you, Ms. Jackson.”
“You, too, sweetheart. Can I call you Zay, too, or is that just for Isaac?”
“Of cour—“
“Nah, that’s just for me.” I kissed Zay’s cheek. “Sorry, Ma.”
She chuckled. “Alright. Guess you told me.”
“Ms. Jackson, I’m so happy to hear that you’re gonna be okay.”
“God willing. Still gotta make it through surgery tomorrow.”
“You will. They do those every day. I bet you’ll wake up refreshed like you got the best sleep of your life. That’s how I was when I got my wisdom teeth out. Not the same thing, but I’m just saying. You’ll be fine.”
“Well, if you say it, I choose to believe it.”
The two shared a warm smile. I wasn’t really worried about whether my mama would like her or not. If she did, good. If she didn’t? Oh fucking well. Zay was stuck with me at this point.
Taurus’ voice was loud right outside the door and moving closer, along with Victor’s. I turned just as the door swung open and an older man walked in with my brothers on his heels.
“Mama, who is this?” Taurus demanded. “He said he’s here to see you.”
My mama looked at my brother like she’d been caught doing something wrong, but that face quickly transformed into the face we used to see right before she told us to wait ‘til our daddy got home.
“Check your tone, Taurus.”
My brother’s face stayed balled up, but he calmed his ass down. “You know this dude?”
The older man walked toward the bed, which pissed T off even more.
“This is my…friend. Eldrick.”
“Who the fuck is Eldrick?”
“Watch your mouth!” she said to T. “I just told you, he’s my friend.”
Eldrick raised her hand and kissed the back of it, which didn’t help the situation.
“Since when do you have a friend, Mama?”
Zay dropped my hand. “I should probably leave.”
I didn’t wanna let her go, but I agreed with her on this. I barely even noticed her walk away, I was too busy watching Eldrick show my mama affection. That was something I hadn’t seen in eighteen fucking years, so I was a little discombobulated.
The door swung shut behind Zay, and then it was just the five of us.
“Are y’all waiting for an explanation?” Mama said with a smile.
“I mean…yeah.” Vic crossed his arms. “We don’t know him.”
“So?”
“We’re just confused, that’s all.”
“You ain’t gon’ say something?” Taurus challenged old boy. “You gon’ let her do all the talking?”
“I’m trying to be respectful,” he finally said. “I didn’t come to start trouble. Just wanted to check on this little lady right here.”
“That’s real familiar,” I noted. “You sure y’all ain’t more than friends?”
Mama sighed. “Give me a minute, El.”
He nodded, did a little bow, and walked past us and out the door like he owned the fucking place.
“That’s your man? Tell the truth.”
Mama shot Taurus a look. “Don’t be questioning me. I’m grown.”
“So? You the only mama we got. Spill it, old woman.”
She sighed. “Eldrick is my…man friend.”
Vic gagged dramatically. “Gross.”
“The reason I didn’t say anything is because I somehow managed to raise three assholes, and I didn’t want y’all scaring him away.”
Victor sat in the chair next to her bed and leaned close. “He got a job?”
“He’s a railroad engineer.”
“How much do they make?”
“I don’t know!”
“You didn’t ask?” Taurus said. “That’s alright, I’ll ask him.”
“You will not!”
“He be taking you out?” I said. “He better have took you on a date. How long y’all been talking?”
“Lord. I’m in my sickbed, and y’all are sitting up here interrogating me. What is wrong with y’all?”
“He ain’t coming back in here until we know what’s up,” Vic said. “Spill it.”
“He’s been courting me for close to a year now.”
“A year! Ain’t this some sh—mess.”
“Anyway, he takes me out all the time.”
“Wait…if you got a man, why am I running you around on errands? That nigga can’t carry you to the grocery store?”
She scowled. “I have you run me around because that’s about the only way I get to see you, Isaac .”
“Oh.”
Shut me right on up.
“What kinda car is he driving?”
“He got a house?”
“Kids?”
“He been married before?”
She reached over and grabbed the remote, pressing a button over and over until somebody answered.
“Yes, can you send somebody to room 415? I need y’all to get three intruders out of my room.”
“Calm down.”
Taurus paced back and forth between the chairs in the waiting room. “Nah. I need to know who the fuck that is in my mama’s room.”
“It’s not like it’s her bedroom,” Savannah corrected. “Your mother is grown. Leave her be.”
Victor shook his head. “I don’t like this shit one bit.”
I watched them fuss like it was a tennis match, my head moving back and forth until I got tired of the whole thing and decided to run Zay home.
In the car, I was quiet. She insisted on driving, so I zoned out. The day had been so fucking heavy for me. I didn’t give myself time to process that phone call, but as soon as I heard the words Mama’s in the hospital , I saw my father lying on the kitchen floor. That’s the kind of thing you can’t forget. It’s forged in your brain like engraving on a piece of jewelry. The thought of pulling up to that hospital and finding her gone, too, was more than I could handle. I pulled a Zay earlier and simply refused to believe it was even a possibility.
I blew out a slow breath and closed my eyes, dozing until Zay’s soft hand nudged me and her equally soft voice said, “Wake up, baby. We’re here.”
Even the dogs seemed to sense I wasn’t my usual self. Instead of jumping on me, they sat at my feet and whimpered until I knelt down and gave them some love.
“So that was a big surprise, right?”
“Which part?” I said.
“Your mom’s boyfriend.”
“Yeah. I guess.” Brownie flipped over for belly rubs. I sat on the floor and settled in that spot so I could give them to him.
“You don’t wanna talk about it?”
“Not really.”
“Look, I know it’s not something you want to think about, but I hope y’all let her be. Moms need to get their backs blown out, too.”
I stopped rubbing and stood, staring down at her. “Yeah, pack it up. The relationship is over. It’s not me, it’s you.”
She burst out laughing. “Seriously. How long has it been since she’s been…romanced?”
“I don’t even know.”
“A woman needs that,” she said softly. “It doesn’t even have to be sex. We need to feel wanted. Desired. And if he gives her that, good for her. Great for her. Especially at her age. Society likes to tell us we’re worth less when we get older.”
“I didn’t think about that.”
“Of course you didn’t.”
I wrapped my arms around her waist and pulled her closer. “Do I make you feel wanted?”
“Every second of every day since I met you.”
“Good. Then I did it right.”
“Yes, you did.”
“I want you right now.”
She grabbed my hand and led me to her bedroom. She immediately lifted her shirt over her head, going for her jeans before I put a hand out to stop her.
“I want something else,” I said.
“I tried to give you that earlier, but you wouldn’t let me.”
“Not that.”
She frowned. “Then what?”
“Truth.”
“About what?”
“I heard what you told my sisters at the hospital.”
Her hands dropped to her sides. “I was just venting.”
“It’s okay to vent. I’m glad you felt like you could. But I won’t lie and say I’m not frustrated. I put you in this position.”
“Wrong.”
“I came on real strong.”
“And I could have said no, but I didn’t.” She stepped closer to me and put her hands on my face. “I went in with my eyes open knowing there would be consequences. I wanted you. Period.”
“I’m sorry, Zay. I really am.”
“It’ll be okay. It’s gonna work out. It always does. When God closes a door—“
“Don’t finish that sentence.”
“Why?”
I wrapped my fingers around her wrists. “Because I told you, I want the truth. It’s okay to admit you’re upset. You can acknowledge that it might not work out even though you want it to.”
Her eyes filled with tears. “You don’t understand.”
“So talk to me, Zay.”
“I can’t explain it. I just…it’s hard for me.”
“What is?”
She let her hands fall, but I kept her wrists in mine, holding onto her. Anchoring her.
“Admitting things are bad,” she said. “Even noticing things are bad. I don’t know why.”
“I want you to know that you can always be honest with me about how you feel. I don’t need you to put on a happy face for me.”
“Okay, fine. I’m scared.”
“I know.”
“I love my job. I don’t wanna lose it.” She stared up at me with wet eyes. “I don’t wanna lose you, either.”
“Let it out. I want your tears, too, baby. You been holding that shit in for way too long.”
When she closed her eyes, her tears spilled over and ran down her cheeks. She relaxed against me and sobbed until she was all cried out.
This was that manhood shit my daddy used to talk about. Not the part where you beat your chest and shout about what a great leader you are. It was really about the quiet moments when you hold your woman in your arms and think of ways to fix what’s broken and provide what lacks.
Too many men serve their women poison instead of love.
That wasn’t gonna be me.
I hugged her tighter, bringing my lips to her hot forehead.
“I got you. You know that, right?”
She nodded.
“Let me hear you, baby.”
“I know. You got me.”
“We’ll figure this out. I promise.”
“I know that, too.”
“I’m gonna head back to the hospital. Go clean yourself up, keep your head up, and I’ll call you later.”
We shared a kiss, and then I left her, walking out her door with a renewed sense of purpose. It was almost like her letting go gave me the strength to think past today. I had to if I was gonna fix this for her. I also had to believe I could.
And for the first time in a long time, I did believe.