38. Azalea
38
Azalea
“Roman! What are you doing here?”
He looked down at Pinkie and Brownie. “How are my babies doing?”
“You didn’t answer my question.”
Here was the dog park across the street from my apartment complex. I didn’t get out here much, because I usually got home when it was dark, or close to it. But in the light of day, it was a lovely little spot. My babies loved it.
“Obviously I came to see you,” he said. “I don’t know nobody else in these janky ass apartments.”
“What do you want?”
“I didn’t like how you were on the phone the other day.”
“Oh? How was I?”
“Ratchet. Like you got an axe to grind against me.”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about. I was just telling you how happy I was.”
“Yeah, when you know how fucked up I’ve been behind you leaving. And to bring up another man’s dick with me? What the hell was that?”
I squinted as I studied him, noticing for the first time how disheveled he looked. Wrinkled blazer, shirt untucked, tie loose and crooked.
“What makes you think I owe you anything better than what you got?” I said. “Especially after what you did.”
“What did I do?”
“Good question. You’ve done so much. I should have been more specific.”
“Come on.”
“You don’t remember that night?”
His eyes darkened. Of course he remembered. It was my last night in our old place.
We were arguing about the same old thing. How something was off, and I didn’t like that he was giving me the silent treatment yet again, and how I didn’t understand how he could expect sex after he'd treated me so carelessly all week leading up to him demanding it. I was usually demure in my complaining, but that night, I was just over it. I yelled at him. Called him a piece of shit. He’d always had a problem with me cursing. Slowly, over time, he’d broken me of that habit through quiet disapproval. So the disrespect that night set him off.
He mushed my face so hard, he knocked me into the bedroom wall. I made a hole in the plaster when I hit it.
“You said you forgave me for that,” he said quietly.”
“I did. But maybe that was a mistake.”
He threw up his hands. “I gotta say I’m sorry again?”
“You ain’t gotta say shit, honestly. I don’t care. About any of this. We’re not together. I’m with somebody else. I don’t even know why I’m talking to you right now.”
“So that’s it?”
I turned to walk away, stopping short when I felt a hand on my arm, squeezing tightly.
“Roman, stop!”
“Talk to me! That’s all I’m asking!”
I turned to face him and saw the same man I saw that night, unhinged and black in the eyes. I tried to snatch my arm away, but he wouldn’t let go, prompting me to start calculating my best exit. Pinky and Brownie growling reminded me I couldn’t fight him off without dropping their leashes. I was stuck.
“Let me go!”
“Not until you talk to me.”
“Roman, I’m serious!”
“Nah, you gon’ talk to me!”
Still struggling, I glanced up at my apartment, just a few hundred yards across the courtyard, and spotted Isaac getting out of his car.
“Isaac!”
He looked up and immediately launched into a sprint across the parking lot. The anger on his face struck fear in my heart, because maybe I’d just gotten him into a situation he couldn’t come back from.
“Are you out your fucking mind?” he said as he stormed up to Roman. “The fuck is wrong with you?”
He was so close, their noses touched. Roman stumbled backwards, letting me go in the process.
“Hey, man, you don’t have shit to do with this,” he said weakly.
“The fuck I don’t! That’s my girl you got your hands on, nigga. Back the fuck up.”
Every time Isaac stepped forward, Roman stepped back, but he still talked tough. “Or what? Put your hands on me, you goin’ right back to jail.”
“And it would be worth it. Try me, motherfucker.”
My heart pounded hard and fast, and my life with Isaac flashed before my eyes. If he so much as touched Roman, it could be over before we got a chance to start. And for what?
I wanted to yell at him that it wasn’t worth it. To jump between the two of them and shield him from the consequences of his need to protect me. I didn’t need him to show me that. He’d already shown me. But you can’t do that in these situations. Men are fragile, and Isaac even more than most. So, I stood there and let the dread overtake me, praying Isaac’s cooler head would prevail.
Roman looked between the two of us. “ This is who you ended up with after me?”
“I would list all the ways he’s better than you, but I just realized I don’t care what you think. So fuck you, Roman. FUCK YOU. This’ll be the last time we speak.”
“How does that work?” He stumbled backwards again. “Me and Pat are brothers.”
“I’d lose him to lose you.”
“It’s like that?”
“You deaf? Take your dumb ass on, man.” Isaac stalked toward him again, backing him all the way up to the parking lot before he came over to me.
“Go on inside,” he said, snatching the leashes and pup bag out of my hand. “I’ll finish with them. Go in, lock the door.”
“But—“
“Now, Zay.”
He didn’t want any arguments, so I took my ass inside without giving him any.