7. Ash
Ash
Ifroze, sure I couldn’t have heard him right. “What?”
“Gareth,” Lochlan repeated from between gritted teeth. His eyes were wild, glittering in the moonlight. “The person who’s been sending you threatening messages.”
My own temper rose up to meet his. “Did you go through my messages?”
Lochlan dropped my chin, looking stung. “Of course not. One came through while I was reading the ones from Cassie. I’d never invade your privacy like that.”
Lochlan isn’t Gareth.
“I’m sorry,” I whispered. “I know you wouldn’t.”
“I wouldn’t normally push you on this,” he gestured helplessly at my phone, “but I can’t ignore this. I can’t, Ash. He’s threatening to hurt you.”
I let out a huff, shifting on my feet. “Can we discuss this back at my place? I’m freezing and this is a story better told over a cup of tea.”
“Fine,” Lochlan sighed, cupping the back of my neck and pulling me in. “I’m sorry. It’s just that I think about you being hurt, and I go a bit crazy.”
“It’s okay,” I closed my eyes and let his touch ground me. I wasn’t mad. Actually, I found his whole caveman protective schtick endearing. “It’s time I told you anyway. I would’ve before but it’s… well, it’s embarrassing.”
“Embarrassing?”
I pulled away from him, taking his hand in mine. “Come on. I’ll tell you the whole story when we get home.”
Sat at my kitchen table, my fingers drumming on the sides of my mug full of steaming tea, I began to talk.
It all came pouring out. Once I started, I couldn’t stop. I told him about how Gareth and I met. The red flags I’d ignored at the start of our relationship. The way I’d changed myself to try and fit in with the image he’d built of me in his mind.
Lochlan stayed quiet until that moment. “Wait, how did you change yourself?”
I shrugged, spinning my now empty mug in my hands. “Got Cassie to take my hair back to my natural colour. Wore the clothes he’d bought for me. Stopped painting my nails. Tried not to talk so much.”
Lochlan let out a long breath, reaching across the table to take my hands in his. “Ash, I’m so fucking sorry. You are perfect, exactly as you are. The fact that piece of shite made you feel lesser about yourself speaks volumes about his character, not yours.”
“Thank you,” I squeezed his hands. “After I broke things off with him, I vowed never to change myself again. If I couldn’t find someone to accept me for who I am, then I wasn’t going to go there.”
Lochlan kissed the back of my hand. “I’m so fucking proud of you, Ash. You’re perfect. Just as you are.”
I flushed red, ducking my chin down to hide my grin. “Thanks.”
There was a brief pause before Lochlan spoke again. “Okay, so I get what happened. Why is he messaging you threats now?”
“He’s not actually threatening me. He’s just throwing his toys out of the pram because he’s not getting his own way.”
Lochlan’s lips thinned into a grim line. “That’s not how I read it.”
I fished my phone out of my pocket and opened up Gareth’s most recent missive.
If you keep ignoring me, I’m going to make you pay. You’re mine, Ash. You can prance around with that mage all you like, but we both know it won’t be long before he realises you’re too much for him.
Okay, so it was a little threatening, but Lochlan didn’t know Gareth like I did. “He’s all talk. And even if he did try something, I’m more than capable of handling myself.”
That was another thing that had always irked Gareth. We were both vampires, but I was descended from a far more powerful line. Not that I ever flaunted it. In fact, when I realised how much it bothered Gareth, I’d tried to hide it. To minimise my power and strength.
That had been pretty much impossible though. Supes could smell the power on other supes. It was like an evolutionary warning system that quickly told you who the biggest predator in the room was.
In most rooms, it was me.
I didn’t care about stuff like that. I never had. I just wanted to live my life and have fun. Not get caught up in dick-measuring contests with other immortals.
Gareth had cared. Maybe that was why he’d felt the need to cut me down so much. It gave him the power over me that he desperately craved.
I’d been a moron to stay with him for so long. These past few weeks with Lochlan had reinforced that.
“If you’re not worried about it, why were you tensing up whenever he sent you a message? Why didn’t you tell me about it?”
“I was embarrassed,” I ducked my head down. “The more time I spent with you, the more I realised how stupid I’d been to put up with Gareth’s bullshit. I was so weak. I let him manipulate me into someone I wasn’t. I was…I was ashamed.”
“Ash.” When I didn’t look up, Lochlan’s hand tilted my chin, forcing my gaze to meet his.
The pity I’d been expecting wasn’t there.
Just a hint of sorrow and a boatload of fury.
“You’ve got nothing to be ashamed about.
He is the one who should be ashamed, not you.
I’d never judge you for anything. Especially in a situation like this. ”
“I know. But the last few weeks with you they’ve been,” I blew out a breath, trying to think how to put my feelings into words. “Awesome. Happy. And just so fucking easy. I didn’t want to burst our bubble.”
“I get that,” Lochlan said softly. “I’ve loved these past few weeks too. But we can’t know if we’ve got something real if we don’t let the bad stuff in too. I want to be with you, Ash. For the good and the bad.”
My mouth dried out. “You do?”
He smirked at me. “Thought the fact I haven’t left your side for almost a month now might’ve tipped ye off.”
“I do too. Want that, I mean. You. The good. The bad. Everything you said.” Christ. Saying words was easy. Sentences though, were apparently out of my reach when Lochlan was offering me more than I’d dared hope for.
Giving up on trying to articulate, I leaned over the table to kiss him. Before our lips met, Lochlan covered my mouth with his hand. “Hang on, bràmair. We haven’t finished talking about your ex yet.”
I sat back in my seat with a pout. “What about him? He’ll stop eventually. That’s why I’ve not been engaging him. He’ll give up soon, it’s in his nature.”
“Ash, I think it’s more serious than you realise. He’s stalking you. We can’t just ignore that.”
I frowned “What? No he’s not.”
“Yes, he is,” Lochlan tapped my phone. “Read the message again.”
I did as he asked, the blood draining from my face as I spotted it.
You can prance around with that mage all you like…
“Motherfucker,” I cursed. “How fucking dare he.”
Jumping to my feet, I paced the kitchen tugging at my hair. “I thought he’d stoop low, but I hadn’t thought he’d do this. What am I going to do?”
“Easy, bràmair,” Lochlan stood and grabbed me in his arms, rubbing his hands over my back. “You’re not alone in this. I know you said he’s no match for you, but I won’t let that happen. He’ll have to go through me to get to you.”
“But I don’t want that happening either,” I said, ice dripping down my spine at the mere thought. “What if he gets too close to you? If he bites you, I’ll lose you.”
When I bit Lochlan, my venom was kept safely at bay.
Gareth wouldn’t do that. He’d end Lochlan without a second thought.
Lochlan stroked my back soothingly. “Bràmair, he wouldn’t be able to get within six feet of me. I’d end him before he got close enough.”
I peered up at him curiously. “Okay, not to question you because I know you’re powerful…but what makes you so confident?”
“You haven’t spent much time around water mages, have you?”
“Well, I’ve spent a lot of time with one particular water mage, but otherwise…no. Can’t say I have.”
Lochlan chuckled. “Okay, so you get that I can control liquid, right?”
“Yeah.”
“That includes blood.”
I tilted my head to the side. “I’m not following. How does that help?”
Lochlan stepped back with a bemused smile. “It’s much easier if I show you. Do you mind?”
“Will it hurt?”
“No,” Lochlan shook his head emphatically. “I’d never hurt you. It’ll just feel weird.”
I was intrigued. “Go for it.”
Lochlan didn’t move.
And suddenly, I couldn’t move.
My entire body was frozen still like Lochlan was somehow controlling…
My blood.
He was holding my blood in place, rendering me completely powerless.
It lasted for less than two seconds before the sensation passed. My body sagged forwards, straight into Lochlan’s waiting arms.
“Shit, are you okay? It feels weird, I know, but now you know you don’t have to worry -”
I shut him up with a kiss, jumping up and wrapping my legs around him. Lochlan caught me with ease.
“I’m not worried,” I said between kisses. “I’m turned on. You’ve been holding out on me.”
Lochlan groaned as I thrust against him. “Ash, we need a plan.”
“Sex first, plan later.”
“Fine, but I want you to bite me. You’re not the only one who finds power a turn-on.”
I let my fangs graze against his neck, my tongue teasing at the skin. “Anything you want, Lochlan.”
Seriously, anything. I was realising I’d do whatever he’d ask. Maybe that was because I knew he’d never ask me to do the one thing I’d refuse to do for a man again.
Change.