Chapter Eleven
Mackenzie
And I'd give up forever to touch you
'Cause I know that you feel me somehow
You're the closest to heaven that I'll ever be
And I don't want to go home right now
‘Iris’ - Goo Goo Dolls
It’s been a week since Ryan’s party.
Since Logan looked at me the way he did.
Since his admission that made absolutely no sense to me.
He hasn’t been back except for dropping things off here and there, and when he is here, he doesn’t look at me.
I might as well be invisible. It’s almost worse than the glares, because when he was glaring at me at least he was acknowledging my existence.
Now it’s like he’s found a way to make me vanish altogether, and the silence gnaws at me more than the tension ever did.
“Earth to Mac.” Shaina’s voice pulls me out of my thoughts. She’s looking at me with that mix of concern and curiosity she gets when she knows I’m lost in my head. “You good?”
I nod, though we both know the answer is no.
“If you say so, girl.” She smirks faintly. “It’s gonna be a busy night tonight, so buckle up, buttercup.” She bumps her hip into mine, the easy affection almost enough to make me laugh.
“There something going on tonight?” I arch an eyebrow.
She shoots me a side glance that’s part warning, part amusement. “Guess you deserve to know. Club’s closed tonight for a private party. Surprise birthday party… for my brother.”
“Awesome…” I mutter, stocking up on bottles I know the guys will want. “Do you know where I’m working tonight?” Since Ryan’s party, Allison’s had me waitressing a few shifts. The tips are better, but tonight… tonight I’d rather be safely behind the bar.
“You’re on the floor,” she says, and I know from her tone she gets why that sucks.
“There won’t be many of them at the bar.
And just a reminder, full MC means if someone gets out of hand, tell Hank or make eye contact with someone you trust. These aren’t your average locals.
You can’t disrespect a brother, no matter how big of a prick he’s being. ”
“Got it.” I toss back a shot, the burn spreading warm through my chest.
Shaina watches me.
“I’m not on shift yet,” I tell her.
She lifts her hands in mock surrender. “Hey, I didn’t say a word. I’m just glad you’re here.”
We fall into our usual rhythm stocking the bar. “Anything I should keep stocked for your brother’s table?” I ask.
“Nope. He doesn’t drink.”
That stops me. “Wait, really?”
She shrugs. “Don’t ask me why. I’ve told him whiskey might take the stick out of his ass, but I’ve never seen him drink.”
I think back. She’s right. The only time I ever remember Logan being drunk was the night after he broke up with me. My phone ringing at 2 a.m., his voice slurred and raw. I fucking love you, Kenzie.
I push the memory away hard. That boy is gone.
The party kicks off at ten. Logan comes in to grab something, only to have everyone jump out and yell surprise. The room erupts with cheers, the smell of beer, bodies crowding him until the noise fades and people scatter to their tables.
Naturally, Logan picks a table in my section.
I walk up, forcing a neutral tone. “Happy birthday. What can I get you?”
“Just a coke.” His voice is flat, emotionless.
Darcy appears at his side like she belongs there. “Actually, Mackenzie, why don’t you grab my man a birthday shot?”
Her man? I almost laugh. Logan would never actually choose someone like her.
“I said, I’ll have a coke. I can speak for myself, Darcy.” He doesn’t even glance her way.
I give her a polite, cutting smile. “Got it.”
At the bar, I grab the drink and a few others for nearby tables. On my way back, Darcy blocks me.
“You can stop looking at him like some lovesick teenager. He doesn’t want you.”
I smile, all teeth. “You’d definitely know how that feels. Thanks for the advice.” I shoulder past her, keeping it professional.
The rest of the night is a blur of music, shouts, and clinking glasses. Logan laughs with the guys but never once meets my gaze. He turns away every girl who tries to flirt, but still manages to keep me at arm’s length.
By two a.m., the crowd thins.
“Hey, Mac?” Shaina calls.
I look up.
“Any chance you can lock up tonight? I’ve got an early morning.”
“No problem. Get some rest.”
Once the last door is locked, I step out the back. The door clicks shut behind me and I instantly realize my keys are still behind the bar.
“Fuck.” I tug on the handle, but it’s solid.
It’s a twenty-minute walk into town. My phone’s dead. No other option.
The road is quiet except for my footsteps. Until it’s not.
A motorcycle’s low growl grows louder behind me.
Please just keep going.
Instead, the engine cuts right behind me.
“Kenzie!”
I turn and see Logan, his broad frame and the gleam of chrome under the streetlight.
“Jesus, you about gave me a heart attack.” My pulse is still racing from the sound and now from him standing there.
“What the hell are you doing walking down this road?” He closes the distance, eyes sweeping over me.
“I locked my keys in Ambrosia. My phone’s dead. I was going to grab a room at the motel.”
“That’s a stupid decision. This road is deserted, and you’re still in uniform.” His gaze drags down my legs, lingering long enough to make my skin prickle.
“Well, it was that or sleep in the parking lot. What are you even doing here? You left an hour ago.”
He doesn’t answer.
“Earth to Logan.” I wave a hand.
In two strides, he’s right in front of me. His hand curls around the back of my neck, pulling me in until our faces are inches apart. “I’m always here when you get off work. Making sure you get home safe.”
Before I can process the weight of that, his mouth is on mine, hard, claiming.
For a heartbeat, I freeze, my brain catching up to my body. Then I push him back just enough to meet his eyes. “I don’t know what to think of you.” My forehead rests against his, my breath mingling with his.
“Let me give you a ride.” His voice is low, threaded with something that feels dangerous.
“Okay. I was headed to the motel on Main.”
He hands me his helmet. “You’ll be fine with me.”
The ride is fast, the wind biting at my skin, his solid warmth under my hands. I rest my head against his back, and for the first time in a long time, I feel safe… at least physically.
When the bike slows, I lift my head to see a cream stucco house with heavy wooden pillars and black iron accents.
His hand squeezes my thigh. “You gonna get off, or are we spending the night out here?”
I slide off, looking around. “Where are we?”
“This,” he says as he walks toward the front door, “is my house.”
Inside, the space is cleaner, more put-together than I expected.
“Why did you bring me here? I told you I was headed to the motel.”
“The only people at that motel right now are hookers and drug addicts. You’ll stay here until we can get you sorted in the morning.”
“I’m not a task for you to sort, Logan. And I didn’t agree to this.”
“I didn’t ask. I wanted you here. Wanted to know you were safe.”
“Why?” My voice is sharper now. “Logan, why?”
He steps in, crowding me back against the door. His hand fists in my hair. “Because as much as I try to fight it, I still fucking love you. I’ve never stopped, Kenzie.”
Then his mouth claims mine again, and the air between us ignites.
Clothes are gone in frantic pulls, the sound of tearing fabric mixing with our ragged breaths. He carries me, kicking open a door, and drops me onto his bed.
“Goddamn.” His voice is thick as his mouth trails along my collarbone. “Be patient. I have every intention of taking my time.” It’s all he says before his head lowers to my chest. He trails light kisses across my collarbone causing me to squirm underneath him.
Every kiss, every graze of his mouth down my body is a brand. When he reaches my hips, he lingers, breathing me in before tasting me with a slow, deliberate swipe of his tongue.
He moves down me slowly stopping at each breast closing his mouth around my nipples nipping and sucking until I’m so far arched off the bed I must look possessed.
I need him. Now. Logan laughs a bit as he continues his path down my body.
When he gets to my hips he kisses the line leading from one to the other.
He slowly moves down to my core and for a minute his touch completely disappears.
I feel his breath on me but that’s it. I look down at him and in that instance our eyes meet.
Logan lowers his head down to me the entire time keeping his eyes on mine.
His tongue darts out to taste me in one long swipe and it is the hottest fucking thing I have ever watched.
Keeping my attention his finger dips into me and I gasp at the intrusion.
“You are mine, Kenzie. You always have been.” The way he says it, low and certain, has me trembling.
Two fingers now and I can feel myself building. When I’m on the edge, he stops, forcing me to look at him. “Say it.” He says as his hooded eyes watch me.
“What?” I’m so pent up that I can barely think straight.
“Say you’re mine.” His finger trails my thigh completely setting me on fire.
“Stop screwing around Logan, it’s not funny.” My hands fist the sheets below me.
“Not fucking laughing. You want this. You want me. Tell me.” His hand completely withdraws from my skin and instantly I want to reach for him.
Logan Pearce will be the goddamn death of me. I look at him and the devilish smile on his perfect fucking face.
I glare, but my voice comes out low, shaky. “I’m yours.”
His smile is dark satisfaction. “Remember that.”
Before I can respond his mouth and hands are on me licking, sucking, stroking and I’m exploding underneath him feeling like I’m falling off the damn Empire State Building.
“Fucking hell.”I look up and he’s standing between my legs. “Sexiest thing I’ve ever fucking seen. His fingers come up to his mouth and as he licks the wetness off each one my need for him only intensifies.
I lean up grabbing his neck and bringing him to me. Crashing my mouth against his. He pulls away and moves onto the bed kneeling his hands grip me under my arms and lift me as if I’m light as a feather.
“Turn around.” It’s not a question it’s a command and at this point I’m so goddamn horny I would do whatever the fuck he wanted.
His fingertips trail down my spine before resting on my ass. I feel him at my opening and push myself against him. His hand reaches down to my ponytail and he pulls it until I’m kneeling and flush against him. “Someone’s impatient.”
“Will you stop being a tease and fuck me already?”
He bites down on my neck and drives into me in one deep thrust. The sound that rips from my throat is primal.
He pounds into me, pushing me to the edge again until I take control, and I struggle to even stay upright. I explode around him and I can tell he’s close to following me. I move forward letting him fall out of me and turn around. “You might be in charge out there. Not in here.”
He looks as if he might protest but his words get lost as I ease myself onto him and start rolling my hips.
His head rolls back into the pillows while his hands grasp my hips so hard I’m sure I’ll have imprints on his fingertips tomorrow.
I ride him hard, his hands bruising my hips as we shatter together.
I feel him tensing behind me and his hand slides to my clit pressing down on it as I fall apart with him. When I collapse on his chest, his heartbeat thundering under my ear, I can’t help but laugh softly.
“What’s so funny?” he asks.
I squeeze him tighter. “Happy birthday, Mr. President.”
Logan’s chest rises and falls under my cheek, his skin hot against mine. I can hear his heartbeat, fast and steady, and for a few seconds, I let myself pretend this is where I’m meant to be. That this is easy. That the rest of the world isn’t waiting outside his bedroom door.
His hand moves slowly over my back, fingertips tracing lazy patterns that make my muscles unwind in ways I didn’t think possible. I should move. I should get dressed. I should put space between us before I forget all the reasons I’ve been keeping my guard up.
But I don’t.
I stay pressed against him, breathing him in. Sweat, leather, and that clean scent that’s just… him. It’s the same smell I remember from nights when we were younger and stupid enough to think love was bulletproof.
“Mac,” he says quietly, and the sound of my name on his lips sends a ripple through me.
“Hmm?”
He doesn’t answer right away, and when I tilt my head up, his eyes are already on me, unreadable in the dim light. There’s a softness there I haven’t seen in years, like for just this moment, the walls he keeps between us have cracked.
“Nothing,” he says finally, brushing a strand of hair from my face. “Just… stay.”
God, it’s tempting, but I can’t trust what this means. Not yet.
Still, I don’t move when his arm tightens around me, pulling me even closer. My eyelids grow heavier with each slow beat of his heart, and somewhere between wanting to ask him a thousand questions and wanting to tell him to go to hell, I drift off.
The last thing I feel is his lips pressing against my hair, a whisper so low I almost think I dreamed it. “You were never supposed to stop being mine.”