Chapter Eight #2
My stomach tightens because I already know who’s at the door.
Kara has a specific knock—quick, rhythmic, a little impatient.
Irritation nips at me instead of excitement that she’s dropped by uninvited.
I don’t usually mind her popping over, but I know her spontaneous visit is going to make Jude uneasy.
Maybe I shouldn’t care about that more than her feelings, but he’s had a traumatic day.
I was really hoping we could unwind, just the two of us, and have a quiet evening.
Apparently not.
I open the door and she’s standing on the porch, cheeks pink from the cold, her red hair tucked under a knit hat. She’s wearing a black puffy jacket and leggings, and she’s holding a bottle of wine.
“I come bearing gifts.” She smiles, holding out the wine.
“Nice.” I take the bottle of wine from her, and move aside so she can enter. “I didn’t know you were coming over tonight.”
She shrugs as she steps inside. “I didn’t get to see you the last two nights. I missed you.” She leans in and we kiss. When the kiss ends, she whispers, “I didn’t realize Jude was here until I saw his car.”
“Oh, yeah.” I clear my throat. “I’m sure you heard about the fire at the Blue Pine Apartments, right?”
“Of course.” She wrinkles her brow. “What does that have to do with Jude?”
“Did you forget he was staying there?”
She blinks at me. “Oh, yeah. I guess I did forget.”
I close the door behind her. “The fire department condemned the building for now. Nobody can live there.”
“Oh, dear.” She widens her eyes. “Wait… are you saying he’s staying here?”
“Yes.”
Her mouth drops open. “He’s living with you?”
“He had nowhere else to go.” I’m embarrassed at her overreaction because I’m sure Jude can hear her. I had a feeling she wouldn’t be thrilled about the idea of Jude living with me, but she almost looks angry. “Is that a problem?”
“Well, no… but…” Her gaze lands on Jude who’s at the stove. “I’m just shocked. I thought he’d just dropped by after work and would be leaving soon. I didn’t realize he’d be sleeping here.”
“He has to sleep somewhere.” I sound harsher than intended, but I can’t help it. She’s acting so heartless about Jude losing his apartment.
“Why would you let him live with you?” She gives me a bewildered look. “I mean, you barely know him.”
“That’s not true. I haven’t known him long, but I know what kind of person he is.”
“Well, even if that’s true…” She frowns. “I was kind of hoping to spend some alone time with you tonight. You’ve been kind of MIA lately.”
“You know how it is when the resort opens.”
“Yes, but usually we still make time for each other.” She studies the table with the two place settings.
Her gaze shifts again to Jude, barefoot, hair damp from his shower, wearing sweats.
I can see her processing all of it and she looks annoyed.
“You couldn’t be bothered to call me to hang out tonight, but you have time to have a cozy night in with Jude? ”
“What? No,” I say. “It’s not like that. We had to eat so I made dinner.” “To be honest, I wasn’t thinking about anything but making sure Jude felt welcome.”
“Well, he certainly looks like he feels at home.”
“I hope so.” Kara of course thinks Jude can’t hear what she’s saying, but shifters have extra sensitive hearing. I’m sure he’s caught every word of our conversation.
I’m proven right when he sets the wooden spoon down and turns, a strained smile on his face. “Hey, Kara.” He looks self-conscious. “You probably didn’t expect to see me here.”
She grimaces. “Uh, no, I didn’t.”
“Sorry.” He glances at me. “There was a fire at my apartment… um… Liam insisted I stay here until I can find another place.” He turns stiffly back to the green beans, picking up the spoon again. “I’m hoping it won’t take too long.”
“There’s no rush, I told you that,” I say firmly.
She brushes past me, unzipping her jacket. “Liam is too nice sometimes, but I get what you’re saying, Jude. Obviously you don’t want to take advantage of the friendship.”
“No, I don’t,” he says quietly.
“Jude isn’t taking advantage of me.” I scowl. “I had to browbeat him into accepting my offer.”
“Still.” She lays her jacket over the back of a chair at the table where there’s a place setting, as if claiming that spot. “I’m just thinking of you two and the strain it might put on your working relationship.”
Sure you are, Kara.
“We’ll be fine,” I say.
“I suppose you know best,” she murmurs, turning to me. “Can I talk to you for a sec, babe?”
“Sure.”
“I mean in private.”
“Oh, okay.” God, what now? I stamp down my irritation and address Jude. “We’ll be back in a minute.”
“Take your time,” he says, probably hoping we never return.
I lead Kara down the hallway toward the back of the house and into the laundry room. It’s far enough from the kitchen that hopefully Jude won’t hear us if we keep our voices down, but I still pull the laundry room door closed behind us.
Once we’re in the small room, she crosses her arms. “Are you mad at me for coming by tonight?”
“No, of course not,” I lie.
“You seem like you are.”
I sigh. “Well, if I’m honest, I’m frustrated with your attitude. I don’t like that you’re making Jude feel uncomfortable about staying with me. It was my idea, not his.”
She wrinkles her brow. “I’m sorry, but I really do find it annoying that he’s staying here. I know you’re trying to help him out and all, but I didn’t expect my boyfriend to suddenly have a roommate. You didn’t even tell me. I only found out because I showed up here tonight.”
“It’s not like I need your permission to help out a friend.”
She sighs. “No, I know that. But I still can’t believe you didn’t mention it to me.”
“Of course I’d have told you. It wasn’t a secret. I just hadn’t gotten around to it. Having him stay with me was a spontaneous decision. Is it really that big of a deal?” I rasp. “If a friend of yours was displaced, wouldn’t you offer them your spare room?”
She frowns. “Not necessarily. Not unless I was really close to them.”
I laugh gruffly. “Well, I guess I have a softer heart than you. Jude had nowhere else to go, so I helped him out. I don’t feel guilty about that either.”
She seems to realize she’s pushing me too hard. “Babe, don’t get mad.” Her voice is more conciliatory. “I’m just worried because it was hard enough having private time with you. Now Jude is going to be here all the time. When are we ever going to be alone?”
“It’s not like we can’t go to your place.”
She narrows her eyes. “You sure about that? You don’t seem to like spending the night there anymore.”
“That’s not true.”
“Uh, yeah, it is. You haven’t spent the night since you got partnered with Jude.” There’s a testy emphasis on his name.
“That has nothing to do with Jude. It’s been hectic with the resort opening. You know how it is this time of year.”
“Yes. I… I do know how it is.” She bites her bottom lip, a line between her brows. “But last year we didn’t have to also work around you having a roommate.”
“What was I supposed to do, turn my back on him?” I say exasperated. “His home is uninhabitable. Every motel in town is booked because of the time of year. He had nowhere else to go. He’s my partner. I wasn’t going to make him sleep in his damn car.”
“No, I know.” She leans against the dryer, tugging off her knit cap. She frowns, smoothing her hand over her hair. “But what about Silver Creek? There are plenty of motels down the mountain.”
“That’s over an hour commute each way, on icy mountain roads.” I struggle to keep my voice even. “Why in the world would Jude have to make that trip twice a day when I have an empty room? Staying with me was the obvious solution.”
“It just seems... fast. You’ve known him, what, a week? And he’s already living in your house?”
“It’s not like we planned this,” I say with exasperation. “His apartment building caught fire, Kara.”
“I know, but...” She exhales sharply, searching for words. “I… I miss just being alone with you. Don’t you miss being alone with me?”
Guilt nudges some of my anger away because she looks hurt.
It’s true I haven’t spent the night at her place recently, nor have I invited her here.
I’ve been turning down her invitations, blaming long shifts and exhaustion.
And while those reasons are valid, there’s actually more to it.
I haven’t really had the desire to spend the night with her.
I don’t know why or what’s changed, and I’ve been afraid to examine it too closely.
Just a week ago, Kara seemed like the perfect girl for me.
Now I’m starting to nitpick every little thing about her that bothers me.
Studying her worried face, my heart softens.
I still care about her a lot. I don’t want to end things with her.
I really think I’m just tired from breaking in a new partner and the demands of the job this time of year.
There’s no need to start questioning our entire relationship or overthinking everything.
I’m just tired and stressed. It’s that simple.
“I’m sorry, honey.” I sigh and pull her against me. “I’ll do better at making time for us.”
“I… I don’t want to have to force you to spend time with me.”
“You’re not. I’m sorry. I love spending time with you. I’ve just been really stressed and exhausted.” I rub her back. “Don’t worry about Jude. His staying here doesn’t change anything between us.”
“It feels like it does.” Her voice is quieter now, less sharp. She looks up at me, her eyes shimmering with concern. “Something about Jude makes me uneasy.”
“What?” I frown. “Uneasy how?”
She opens her mouth, then closes it. Whatever she wants to say, she’s not ready to say it.
Instead, she murmurs, “Never mind. I think I’m tired too.
When the resort opens, the whole town gets crazy and there are so many rude strangers.
” She sighs. “I was simply surprised to see Jude’s car here and it put me in a bad mood.
I’m sorry. I just miss you, that’s all.”
“I know. I’m sorry too.” I pull her into another hug.
She fits against me the way she always has, familiar, comfortable.
Her body is warm and soft, and her floral perfume fills my nose.
When I touch her, affection makes my heart twinge, but my wolf doesn’t awaken like it has in the past. My lack of sexual interest is unsettling.
Worrisome. Usually, I’d want her to stay the night, but I’m already thinking of excuses for why she shouldn’t stay over.
That’s crazy.
Ridiculous.
She’s insecure and she needs me tonight.
I kiss her and force myself to say, “I’m glad you came over and we had this talk. We shouldn’t bottle up our feelings.”
“I agree.” She appears relieved.
I touch her cheek. “Stay tonight, okay?”
She brightens instantly. “Really?”
“Absolutely. I don’t want you to feel lonely just because work is hectic right now. Stay for dinner and then sleep over. There’s plenty of food if you haven’t eaten yet.”
“I haven’t.” She smiles sheepishly. “I was hoping to eat with you.”
“Then stay.” I smooth the hair off her forehead, smiling at her fondly. “That’ll give you a chance to get to know Jude better. You’ll feel more comfortable with him staying here then.”
Her eyes flicker. “Maybe.”
“I’m serious. He’s a good guy. You’ll see there’s no reason to be uneasy.”
She hesitates. “Won’t it be awkward though? Jude knows I wasn’t thrilled that he’s staying with you.”
“Oh, he’s a big boy. He’s not going to hold a grudge over something like that.”
She looks uncertain, but then she nods. “Okay. I’ll stay.” She pushes up on her toes and kisses me again. “Thank you, Liam. I was feeling depressed but now I feel much better.”
“I’m glad.” I smile down at her. “Now, let’s go eat. I’m starving.”
We head back to the kitchen. Jude has put the food on the table while we were gone, and he’s even added a third place setting without being asked. Hopefully that little gesture reassures her that he has no issue with her.
“Wow, the food is already on the table and everything.” I rub my hands together and take a seat at the table.
Kara immediately sits next to me, even though her coat is on the chair across the table. Jude doesn’t miss a beat. He simply moves her coat to the back of the couch and takes the seat across from us.
“I hope it’s okay,” Jude begins, “that I opened the wine you brought, Kara.”
“Of course. That’s why I brought it.” Kara smiles tentatively at Jude. “Dinner looks amazing.”
He grimaces. “Liam did the hard part. I just plated it.”
“No, you sauteed the green beans,” I say, pouring wine into each of our glasses.
He shrugs and helps himself to some chicken.
The conversation is stilted at first, but then everyone relaxes.
As usual, Kara does most of the talking, but she’s polite to Jude and doesn’t talk over him.
He loosens up after a couple of glasses of wine and smiles more.
My heart warms watching him. After the events of the day, he must be feeling lost and worried, but he’s doing his best to hide it.
I’m proud of him. I know him well enough now to realize socializing with Kara is probably draining him.
Once dinner is over, Jude goes into the kitchen and starts doing the dishes.
I start to join him, but Kara grabs my hand and pulls me into the living room.
I’m guilty that Jude is stuck doing the dishes alone, but also know he’s probably happier that way.
If I join him in the kitchen, Kara will follow.
Kara snuggles against me on the sofa, and I try to focus on her.
But I’d be lying if I said my mind isn’t also on Jude.
This is his first night in my home, and the evening didn’t go as planned, that’s for sure.
Before Kara showed up, I’d hoped maybe Jude would want to shift later and go for a run with me after dinner.
That would help him relax. There’s no way that’s happening now. Not with Kara here.
At one point, I glance over at the kitchen and find it dark and empty.
Jude has slipped upstairs without a word, leaving Kara and me alone.
I’m not sure why I feel so dissatisfied.
I should be thrilled with how the evening turned out.
My bed won’t be empty tonight. Kara will be in my arms. I should be over the moon happy.
But all I can think about is Jude upstairs, alone and probably scared about his future. I have the strangest desire to go to him. To comfort him. To let him know I’m here for him no matter what. That impulse scares the hell out of me. I ignore that urge. Of course I do.
Instead, I focus on Kara and her needs.
Because Jude is just my partner at work and maybe my friend.
But that’s all.