Chapter Twelve #2
Jude shakes his head, circling the big truck, documenting the damage, his face pinched as he crouches down to photograph the crumpled bumper. Ten minutes later a fire truck arrives to handle the gushing hydrant, and Brian eventually drives off alone, after calling Trish an Uber.
When we get back in our SUV, neither one of us speaks. I think we’re both shell-shocked from the emotional carnage we just witnessed. Thankfully, the next few calls are way more boring, and I think Jude is as relieved as I am.
Late afternoon, we respond to a call about a dog running loose on the ski resort access road, dodging traffic.
It takes us twenty minutes of coaxing, two granola bars from Jude’s jacket, and one spectacular dive by me into a snowbank before we wrangle the animal.
It’s a big shepherd mix, no collar, skinny and shivering.
Jude wraps it in a blanket from the trunk and holds it in his lap on the drive to the rescue shelter.
On the drive, the dog leans its head against Jude’s chest and closes its eyes, and something about the image makes my heart hurt.
The tenderness in his hands as he strokes the dog’s ears.
The way the animal trusts him instantly.
Animals often trust shifters, but this is different.
The dog really likes Jude and it’s mutual.
“Maybe if I had my own place I could adopt him,” Jude says, rubbing his face against the dog’s head. “I couldn’t have done that at the apartment, but if I rent a house, maybe then…”
“Do you want a dog?” I glance over.
He shrugs. “I didn’t plan on getting one, but this guy is so sweet and I do love dogs.” He sighs. “I hate to think of him at a shelter.”
“The shelter we’re taking him to is great. It’s really a rescue, not a traditional shelter.”
“Oh, well that’s good, I guess,” he says softly, staring out the window. “It’d still be nice to have my own place.”
I frown but don’t say anything. What can I say? It would be good for him to have his own place. But if that’s true, why do I hate the idea of him moving out so much? I should be glad he’s thinking like that. Especially after what happened last night. But the idea of him leaving my home bugs me.
After our shift, I text Kara to meet us at The Fox & The Kettle for a drink before dinner.
She responds with a string of heart emojis that show how excited she is.
I tell myself I’m excited too, but honestly, I feel neutral.
I always enjoy my time with Kara, so why do I feel like taking her to dinner tonight is more of an obligation than anything?
The bar is busy for a Monday night. The after-work crowd has claimed most of the tables, and the jukebox is playing country music. Jim is behind the bar, polishing glasses and keeping an eye on the room.
Jude looks tired as we grab stools at the bar and order beers.
I suspect he didn’t want to come to The Fox and The Kettle, but he felt obligated after the weirdness of last night.
Once he gets his drink and he downs half of it, he relaxes a bit.
I really just want things to go back to how they were before I kissed him, but notice he avoids my eyes when our elbows brush on the bar top.
We’re both being so careful. So polite. It’s exhausting.
Kara arrives looking sexy in a fitted jacket and boots, her red hair loose around her shoulders.
She kisses me and settles onto the stool on my other side, ordering a glass of white wine.
I expect her to ignore Jude since usually she resents his very presence, but instead she leans over and addresses him.
“Hey, Jude, I might have some good news for you.” Her smile doesn’t quite reach her eyes.
He looks surprised she’s speaking to him. “Do you?”
She hesitates. “I mean, I think it’s good news. Maybe you won’t since you’re happy as a clam living at Liam’s place.”
He frowns, but doesn’t say anything.
“What’s this good news?” I nudge. She’s making it awkward and she just got here. The poor guy was already stressed without her harping at him.
She clears her throat. “Well, a rental just opened up in town.”
“A rental?” I mumble, surprised at her news.
Jude widens his eyes. “There’s a place available right now?”
“Yep. It’s a two-bedroom, two-bath, month-to-month lease.
It hasn’t been made public yet. It won’t last long with the resort crowd when it does, but I know the landlord, and I know he’d prefer a local tenant.
” She swirls her wine, her expression guarded.
“If you’re interested, I can keep the listing private one more day, until you can look at it. ”
Jude straightens on his stool. “Are you serious?”
“Yes.” She studies him. “It’s a cute little place. Only ten minutes from the station.”
“I’ll take it,” he blurts.
Kara blinks. “Don’t you want to see it first?”
“No. If it’s available, I want it.” He sounds breathless.
She recovers from her surprise quickly. “That’s fantastic. I can write up a contract tomorrow morning.” She pauses. “There’s a two-month deposit upfront. Is that all right?”
“No problem.”
“Excellent.” A smug smile appears on her lips. It’s obvious she expected him to turn her down, but is thrilled he instead pounced on the rental. She puts her hand on my thigh and says, “Looks like you get to have your house back, babe.”
I frown. “I liked having Jude there.”
“Oh, I know.” She laughs, unable to keep her excitement hidden. “But I’m looking forward to you having your own place again.” She flicks her gaze to Jude. “Nothing personal, Jude. It’s just Liam having a roommate was kind of weird at his age.”
“I get it.” Jude shrugs, avoiding my gaze.
I should be happy Jude has found a place to live, but I feel oddly let down.
Maybe it’s because we’re on weird footing with each other after last night.
I don’t want him to leave if there are any lingering resentments.
If he moves out before we iron everything out, we might drift apart.
He says everything is okay, but I can’t shake the feeling it’s not.
I turn to him. “I’m serious, Jude, I like having you with me… uh… living with me. It’s not a problem at all.”
“God, don’t try and talk him out of it.” Kara sounds annoyed. “He’s a grown man. He should be living on his own.”
Jude’s mouth tightens. “Kara, sometimes I feel like you forget I only moved in with Liam because of the fire. I want my own place.”
Her gaze flickers. “No, I know that.”
“Good because I’d never take advantage of Liam. Staying with him was always just temporary.” He takes a gulp of beer, looking annoyed.
She laughs. “I didn’t realize you were so touchy. Sorry.” She puts her arm around my neck and kisses my cheek. “I’m just really happy to have my boyfriend back.”
“You never didn’t have your boyfriend,” I grumble, wiping my face.
“Oh, don’t be a big grump.” She giggles and slides off her stool, holding her glass out to Jude. “Anyway, congrats on getting your own place again, Jude.”
He lets out a tired breath but he clinks her glass. “Hopefully it doesn’t fall through.”
“Oh, it won’t,” Kara says firmly. “You can bet your life on that. I’ll make sure it happens.”
I meet Jude’s gaze. “Seems crazy to take a place you haven’t even seen. If you don’t like the place, you’re welcome to stay with me. You know that, right?”
Jude grimaces. “Yeah, thanks, Liam.”
“You bet.” I have conflicted feelings about him moving out. I know it’s for the best, but I still don’t love the idea.
A guy approaches from one of the back tables. He’s lean and good-looking, auburn hair and green eyes. When he gets close enough, I catch his scent and recognize him as a local shifter. He doesn’t look at me or Kara. His attention is on Jude.
“Hey,” he says, settling against the bar beside Jude. “I’m Ben.”
Jude swivels toward the guy. “Uh… hello, Ben. I’m Jude.”
“Nice to meet you, Jude.” Ben smiles. “I saw you at the Hawk’s Nest the other day.”
Jude frowns. “Did you?”
“Not as a patron,” Ben says quickly. “You were arresting someone selling meth.”
“I see.” Jude narrows his eyes. “Do you usually hang out at the Hawk’s Nest?”
Ben grimaces. “God no. A buddy of mine wanted to play pool and they’re the only place in town with pool tables.”
Jude nods. “I guess that’s true.”
“Anyway, you caught my eye that day. You handled yourself well.” Ben bites his bottom lip. “I was glad to see you in here tonight. Figured I’d come over and introduce myself. See if we have anything in common.”
Jude laughs. “Like what?”
Ben sips his beer, holding Jude’s gaze. Once he swallows, he says softly, “Really anything. I like meeting new people.”
“Fair enough,” Jude says.
“Do you like meeting new people, Jude?” he asks.
Jude leans toward the guy. “Depends on the people.”
Ben grins, running his gaze over Jude. “You’re just how I hoped you’d be.”
The guy isn’t subtle. He’s hitting on Jude pretty hard.
I’m not sure how he knew from across the room that Jude might be gay.
I’m also not sure why him flirting with Jude is pissing me off, but it is.
He’s just so sure of himself. Borderline cocky.
Is Jude into that? He doesn’t seem to mind.
In fact, he seems pretty receptive to the dude.
And this is a problem for me, why?
Ben inches a little closer, dropping his voice. “Listen, I don’t want to be too forward, but would you want to grab dinner with me tonight?”
“Tonight?” Jude hesitates.
“Yeah. There’s a Thai place that just opened. It’s actually decent. Do you like Thai?”
“I do.”
Ben smiles. “Have you eaten yet?”
“Nope.” Jude laughs.
Ben’s smile widens. “Would you please join me then? I don’t like eating alone.”
“Why do I feel like if I say no you still won’t dine alone?” Jude smirks.
“True,” Ben says, touching Jude’s arm. “But you’re my first choice.”
I’m startled when my wolf snarls inside my chest so hard I grunt.
I set my beer down carefully, jaw clenched, staring straight ahead at the rows of bottles behind the bar.
Sweat breaks out on my upper lip as I struggle to push down what feels like jealousy.
Ever since last night, my wolf seems to think it gets to run the show, and it’s becoming a problem.
“You okay, babe?” Kara asks, touching my shoulder.
It takes me a second to speak. “I’m fine.” I force my jaw to unclench. “Just zoned out for a second thinking about work.”
She watches me with a troubled expression. “You sure that’s all it is?”
I meet her gaze. “Of course.”
“Promise?” she asks. “You’re not mad at me for finding Jude another place to live, right?”
“No, babe. Not at all.” I force a smile, slipping my arm around her slender waist, I lean in and kiss her.
It’s a nice kiss. Her lips are soft and warm, and she smells great.
Her full breasts press against my chest and I pray my dick will get hard.
Only when I slip my tongue in her mouth and she moans does my cock wake up a little.
Not a lot, but a little. Frustration eats at me as I pull back.
What the fuck is wrong with me?
Last night, when I kissed Jude, I was so hard I was in pain.
But I can barely get it up with Kara? Kara who I love?
Kara, the woman I plan on marrying? What is going on?
Why is kissing Kara not doing it for me anymore?
Just a few weeks ago, I thought she was the perfect woman for me.
Everything was so easy with her. Now, I feel like I’m playing a part when I’m with her.
By some miracle, Kara doesn’t notice I’m struggling. Instead, she looks past me and giggles. “Looks like Jude might get lucky tonight.”
I glance over and see Ben whispering something in Jude’s ear, his hand on Jude’s thigh. Jude laughs, smiling into Ben’s eyes. Anger jolts through me and I drain the rest of my beer and signal Jim for the check.
They don’t even know each other for fuck’s sake.
I say in a tight voice, “Babe, we should get going if we want to make our reservation.”
Kara brightens. “Oh, right. I almost forgot about dinner.” She slides off her stool and pulls on her jacket. “Jude, I’ll call you tomorrow about that rental.”
He glances over, not looking at me. “Thanks, Kara. I appreciate it.” His smile seems forced.
“Have fun you too,” Kara teases.
“We will,” Ben says, leaning into Jude with a smug smile. “But don’t wait up for this one.”
Jude just laughs.
I pretend I’m not bristling with jealousy as we walk out of the bar.
Because why the fuck would I be? I have Kara and she’s all I need.
So when Kara slips her arm through mine, I smile down at her.
When she asks me to sleep over, I agree enthusiastically.
I tell myself I want her. I tell myself I crave being with her.
I tell myself that being in her arms is all I need.
The agonizing truth is, I don’t want to go back to my house because I can’t handle it if Jude doesn’t come home tonight.