Chapter 4 Trust
~ YILAN ~
Inside the wide bedchamber that looked very masculine—peppered with fur and leather, dark furniture and tapestries, and a bedhead so tall it would dwarf even a Nephilim—Istral turned to close the door behind her, then backed away from it, one hand to her throat, staring at it as if it might fly open.
I didn’t want to startle her again, and was considering where best to let myself appear when she spoke, her sweet voice breathy, barely above a whisper.
“I know you’re here.”
I let go of the power immediately, stepping out of the shadow of the wall with arms wide. “Izzy!”
With a broken sob, my sister turned and threw herself at me, burying her face in my shoulder and sobbing so hard, at first I was afraid. I clutched her head to me, and held her as tightly as I dared. Her body jerked with each broken exhale, yet she made barely any sound.
My poor, sweet, loving sister, so willing to give of herself, to encourage and uplift, to soothe with smiles, broke down in my arms, crying with such weight I feared it would tear her chest open. Much faster than I expected, though, the tearing sobs became cries, then soft weeping.
The moment she raised her head to meet my welling eyes with her own—bloodshot, and powders they’d painted her with smeared by her wiping hands—I realized she was still in that awful, bloodied dress and hissed.
Soothing her with quiet words and reassuring her as best I could, I led her to the adjoining bathing room.
“What are you—?”
“We’re going to get rid of this… this… mess, Izzy. Don’t worry. I’m here.”
I kept up the gentle assurances, as I started on the buttons at the back of that repulsive bodice. After a few seconds of desperately trying to peel the tight loops from the covered buttons, I swore and gripped both sides with my hands, tearing them apart.
Istral felt the jerk and gasped, looking over her shoulder as the bodice loosened on her chest.
“Don’t worry. The Nephilim would expect this,” I said as flatly as I could, my upper lip curling back from my teeth with disgust at the bald truth.
Istral nodded quickly, then began to peel the tight sleeves off, pushing the lace away faster and faster, while I moved down to the skirt.
I didn’t even try to unbutton that, but gave it the same treatment, though the thicker waistband took some wrestling. Soon we were both frantically pushing and pulling at the fabric, until she could finally step out of the torn pieces.
My relief was short-lived as Istral covered herself with her hands, then jerked, looking down at her body where blood had caked, been smeared, and dried. The lines of the rope visible in the flaking, near-black around her navel, and smeared all the way to her waist.
Istral’s eyes widened, and she took another step back, pulling her arms away, her hands trembling.
“Izzy… Izzy, look at me,” I breathed, knowing how close she must be to taking what we’d always termed a turn. When her wide, bright eyes met mine, I kept my expression as calm and easy as I was capable. “We’re going to wash it all away. Don’t even look, okay? Come with me.”
I opened my arms, beckoning her with my hands, until she blinked and stepped forward. Then I turned the faucet for the water to run into the bath, and quietly urged her to step into the steaming flow.
Grabbing a wash cloth from the servant’s cupboard just to the side of the bath, I plunged it into the water and brought it up to her belly. But it came away red—the smears thicker, and covering more of her skin.
Istral whimpered and tensed, and my heart dropped.
I pulled the plug on the bath so the reddening water would drain away, and thrust the washcloth under the faucet, but held her gaze with my own, talking calmly and quietly.
“Don’t look,” I instructed her. “Just watch my face. Ignore what I’m doing. It’s going to be fine.”
She blinked rapidly, but nodded, her precious curls bouncing around her face, as I grabbed the cake of masculine-smelling soap and lathered the cloth, then began scrubbing at her stomach again, keeping my eyes on hers as much as I could.
“We’re going to get you clean, then we’ll wrap you in that lovely thick robe on the door hook. Did you see it, Izzy?”
“I-it’s G-Gall’s,” she said through chattering teeth.
I made myself smile. “That’s the special thing about being married—you share everything now—and Gall… Gall loves you. He won’t mind if you use his robe.”
Istral nodded, but the flicker of a question appeared in her eyes.
I swallowed. “Has he… told you he wouldn’t like sharing… anything?” I asked her carefully.
Istral shook her head, her curls fluttering around her face. “No,” she breathed. “He’s just… very busy.”
I nodded. “I’ve noticed that. I’ve been looking for you—for days now. Weeks, actually. Ever since you left the battlefield. We arrived a few days ago, and I could never find you alone. Have they given you a chamber that’s just yours?”
She frowned and shrugged. “They take me to a room… It's strange. It’s dark on both ends, and I can’t see in the dark, so I get scared and stay in the light from the lantern. They bring me food and… he… he comes to take me to Gall when Gall is ready.”
“He…?” I swallowed again, praying my face didn’t look as terrified as I felt. “You mean, Lucifer?”
She flinched at the name, but nodded quickly.
Oh, God. “Istral, has… has he… touched you, or—”
Her eyes flew wide, and she grabbed for my shoulders, where I leaned down washing the blood from the washcloth under the water again. “No!” she hissed. “No, he’s never… no one touches me except Gall. But their eyes, Lani! They look at me like… like…”
“It’s okay, I understand,” I said through clenched teeth, still nervous that she was lying to protect someone, but praying it was true, that their lascivious gazes were the worst she’d endured so far.
She nodded quickly and swallowed, her tongue darting out to wet her lips. “Lani, I’m so glad you came. But… why are you here?”
I forced myself to smile. “It’s your wedding day!” I whispered. “I’m your sister. I couldn’t miss this!”
“But you were… hiding. You weren’t invited. They’re dangerous, Lani.” Her voice crept higher, thinner. “If he sees you—”
“He won’t see me. You saw, didn’t you? I was there in the… the chamber.” I didn’t want to remind her of that awful place. “And I followed you out. You saw that he didn’t see me?”
She nodded again, but her hand tightened on my shoulder until her nails bit.
“Now I’m here, and we don’t have to worry, because he’s going to leave you both alone for a few days… right?”
Istral’s eyes slid to the door into the bathing room, the bedchamber beyond, and probably the door that hid our mates. “Yes. I… I think so.”
I nodded to reassure her. “I know so. Which means it’s safe to talk—quietly. Then when you’re clean and dry, we’ll get you dressed, and we’ll take you out of here. They won’t even know—”
“No!” Istral gasped, and jerked away from me. She almost slipped on the bottom of the slick bath, overbalancing as she tried to catch herself. I grabbed her hand and steadied her, plunging that washcloth back into the water, then rubbing at the last of the redness on her skin.
“Izzy, it’s okay—”
“No. No, it’s not. You can’t—Lani, I can’t!”
“You can’t, what?” I straightened, rubbing the warm cloth over her shoulders and arms, as I used to when she was little and she needed a bath for quiet and calm.
“I can’t leave him.”
“Who? Lucifer?”
“No, Gall.”
I was startled into stillness. “Melek is talking to Gall. We’re going to take both of you.”
Istral’s eyes turned sad and her brow furrowed. “He won’t go,” she whispered, her gaze pleading, as if she asked me to forgive Gall.
“You don’t know—”
“Yes, I do. They’ve convinced Gall that he’s king. And Gall is afraid all the time. He’s my mate, Lani. I can’t leave him.”
I wasn’t even pretending to clean her anymore. “Istral,” I said, my voice shaking. “This is a very dangerous place. You can’t—”
“I can’t leave him!” she insisted shrilly, then cast around the room like she was looking for a way out. “I can’t, Lani. He’s mine and I’m his and—”
“It's okay, Izzy. I wasn’t trying to—”
“—you don’t understand. He won’t survive unless I’m with him.”
“I don’t know about that—Gall would be very sad if you left, but he will live.”
“No, Lani, he won’t. And I won’t live without him, either. We both die if the other… if the other leaves.”
I frowned. She didn’t say the words like they were a metaphor. Istral had always been very literal. My already pounding heart quickened. “Izzy… what are you saying?”
Istral frowned and looked around again. “I don’t know how to say… it’s just… he did it.”
“Did what, Izzy?” I breathed, terrified. Nothing prepared me for her reply.
“He did that dark magic,” she whispered. “If I leave, Gall’s heart will stop. And if he leaves me, mine will. We have to stay together. Both of us. Forever. Otherwise…”
“Otherwise?” I prompted her, my stomach churning.
“Otherwise, he wins,” she whispered, leaning closer to me, her eyes clear of any attempt at deceit. She was afraid I wouldn’t believe her. “You can’t let him win, Lani. You can’t!”
“Him…” I murmured. “Lucifer?”
“Yes! Who else would I mean?”
I braced myself. “Well, Gall has changed a great deal since—”
Istral began shaking her head, faster and faster, her lips pursing. “No. No, Lani. That’s not Gall.”
“Izzy… I watched him hurt people.”
She kept shaking her head, her eyes shadowing with disapproval. “That’s not my Gall.”
I blinked. “What do you mean?”
Her brows pinched down over her nose again and her lips grew thin—the frustrated face she made when she struggled to find the words for what she felt.
“He’s not… that Gall. The one you see… he’s not my Gall,” she whispered.
“The Gall you brought for me. He’s here, Lani. He’s still my… my sweet Gall.”
I swallowed all the protests that rose in my throat, and took a deep breath. “Izzy… has Gall—the other Gall—has he hurt you?”
Istral drew back like I’d slapped her. “No! No, he would never—”
“You said—”
“He’s not my Gall, but he wouldn’t… he doesn’t… he’s just cold, Lani.”
For now, I thought, though relief washed through me that at least so far, it seemed Gall hadn’t used this new power against her.
I stood before her, head spinning, heart in my throat.
Was it possible she’d been deceived about this spell that kept them tied to each other?
Both she and Gall could be persuaded to believe fearful things.
But this was also Lucifer. He appeared entirely capable of placing some kind of power over them.
Of all the things I’d planned for, this hadn’t even occurred to me.
“Izzy—”
“I won’t leave him, Lani. He’s my mate.”
“I wouldn’t ask you to breach your bond, Istral, but—”
“There is no b-but,” she said, her teeth beginning to chatter again.
I looked at her, standing naked in the bath, hands balled at her sides, her shoulders tensing and pulling towards her ears.
But her jaw was set, and her eyes were clear.
I knew my sister well enough to know, she meant her words.
And when Istral had her heart set, she couldn’t be diverted.
“Gall is m-mine,” she continued. “He l-loves me and is afraid.”
“Afraid of what?”
“H-he’s afraid he’ll h-hurt me when we m-mate. It s-stopped him before. And since we g-got here, that… L-Lucifer s-said n-no.”
I didn’t miss that her trembling and teeth chattering grew worse when she referred to the Fallen.
Drawing her out of the bath, I grabbed one of the thick towels from a shelf and wrapped it around her to give myself time to think.
“I’m glad that Gall thinks of you in… in that way,” I said carefully.
Istral nodded quickly again, and pulled the towel around herself like a blanket. “He l-loves me.”
“He does. The true Gall would die for you, Izzy.”
She nodded again, as if that were only a given. I rubbed the towel at her back to draw any moisture from her skin, then turned her to face me—and went still when her eyes locked on mine.
“Izzy, what—”
“The t-true Gall is st-still there, Lani. The other one… only s-sometimes.”
It doesn’t matter if he only shows up once.
The words were right at the tip of my tongue, surging for air, begging to be released. I could see the wariness in her gaze. The unease.
She was afraid I’d hurt her by making her fight for Gall.
I tried to pick my words carefully. “Izzy… if that other Gall hurts you—”
“He won’t.”
“If he does, you aren’t safe. If you let me and Melek take you away, we can still stay close enough that the spell won’t harm him. Melek will keep talking with Gall. He’ll figure out how to bring the real Gall back. And when he’s safe, you two can be together again—”
“No.”
“But—”
“Lani, I said no.”
I drew up to my full height, which was only an inch or so taller than hers. “Izzy, I am your sister, and your queen—”
“I’m a queen now, too,” she whispered, but it was through clenched teeth. I saw the fear in her, and the determination as well. “Gall is my mate. And my h-husband. And he’s king.”
“Yes, but—”
“Would you leave yours?”
I opened my mouth, then closed it again. Horrified. Then I opened it again. “No.”
She nodded. “See—”
“Of course, I wouldn’t. But, I’m not you. I have… some skills that you don’t. I can protect myself.”
“Gall will protect me.”
I closed my eyes. “Izzy—”
“He will.”
I opened my eyes and we locked gazes. I saw something I’d never seen in my sister before: trust.
Trust for someone else, that exceeded her trust for me.
I realized then, that all I could do was pray that she hadn’t been deceived. Because if she was wrong, it was going to kill both of us.