Chapter 18 Time is Ticking
SOUNDTRACK: Heathens by Henri Weaver
~ DIADRE ~
Later that night, I followed Jann through the maze of caverns under the earth, out in the wilderness beyond the city.
We’d only slept for an hour after I returned to the bedchamber, before we were woken by Caelan.
She’d received a message that more rebels had arrived, and they had news.
Jann’s presence was requested by Melek. Which meant I was going too.
He’d tried to leave me behind, but I just put my fists on my hips and glared at him, until he conceded that he wouldn’t want to miss it either.
Luckily, we had the freedom to move around the palace and city as needed—because the Neph all believed Jann followed Lucifer, not Melek.
So, Jann wrapped me in a cloak and we launched from the walls, flying south first, in case anyone watched, but once we were among the clouds and couldn’t be seen from a distance, Jann turned and took us north of the city again, towards one of the entrances to that network of caves underground.
We used different entrances each time we traveled out here, so it was less likely anyone would find the caves—and different entrances from Melek and Yilan when we met, so we were less likely to be seen together.
But this particular cave was rougher than the others—too narrow and low for Jann to fly us through it and very rough underfoot with loose rock and stalagmites to slow us. Particularly me, with my shorter legs and weakness…
God, I hated that word. But there was no doubt, I was exhausted and achy, and sick in the pit of my stomach.
On Teen’s recommendation, I’d taken to keeping some of the crisp sourdough crackers, and pieces of ginger root in my pockets.
As Jann led me through the dark cave, our only light a small lantern clutched in his other hand, I nibbled on a cracker and prayed my stomach would settle.
I couldn’t stand the taste of ginger root, though I’d learned it was effective.
I hadn’t complained, but Jann noticed that I was slow, and he couldn’t miss my eating. He hovered. Very anxious, his shoulders tight, and hand gripping mine like a lifeline. He watched every step I took, like any might be a deathtrap.
“You can stop staring,” I muttered around the mouthful of cracker. “I’m fine.”
Jann huffed, but kept his grip on my hand as he helped me hop over a crack in the ground that wasn’t wide, but I didn’t look to see how deep it went. I didn’t want my head to spin and send my stomach into rebellion.
“Hever’s going to be there,” he said suddenly.
I stumbled a step, and Jann immediately whipped me up so I hung from his hand—like a child in her father’s grip, which made my cheeks flush.
Then he whipped that other hand holding the lantern around my waist and carried me a dozen steps, to a point on the path that was smoother, where he set me gently back on my feet.
His eyes were pinched as he looked down at me. “Did you injure yourself? Is there anything—”
“Jann, I was startled. I tripped. That’s all. I’m fine.”
“You are not fine,” he growled. “However, you are magnificent.” There was a flash of his old warmth, his teasing joy, then it was gone, to be replaced by a grimness.
“Telling me if you hurt, or are too sick, isn’t weakness, Diadre.
You’d be furious with me if I hid injury or illness from you, and it isn’t only your life at risk anymore…
” he trailed off, his free hand dropping to brush my stomach with a tender touch.
His eyes softened in a way that made my heart melt, despite my frustration.
I stared up at him, about to chastise him about worrying about more important things—but I suddenly saw him: Circles under his eyes, so dark they looked like bruises. His face was lined with weariness and worry. Broad shoulders half-hunched, even here where we were alone.
He looked so afraid and tired, my stomach clenched for him.
I put one hand up to his jaw, let my nails catch in the stubble there, and made him meet my eyes.
“You’re the one doing too much,” I said quietly. “Carrying too much.”
“There’s no one else to carry it,” he muttered in return. “Besides, I’m not good at sitting aside. I wouldn’t want it another way.”
I snorted. “Neither am I, and you keep trying to make me lay around in bed.”
“You’re having a baby, Diadre. Growing a Neph baby, no less. You’re doing plenty.”
I hated the way my body thrilled and froze in the same moment every time he said that.
Uncertain what the right words would be, instead I pulled him down into a kiss, sucking in when he opened his lips over mine and pulled me closer, an edge of desperation in him every time now, as if he never relaxed or felt safe.
The kiss grew deeper fast, but the moment I put my hand to his chest, he pulled away, shaking his head. “Sorry, I just—”
“Don’t be sorry—I want you, too. Just… not here,” I said with a shrug, glancing at the cave around us. “It’s hardly the time.”
Instead of grinning back at me, Jann’s expression grew more serious. “I don’t know how much time I have, Dee. I’m going to make the most of every moment. I can sleep when I’m dead.”
“Don’t say that!” I hissed, but Jann only took my mouth again to silence my protests.
When we finally, reluctantly broke apart, he took my hand and started to lead me again. I followed him willingly. But now I was scared as well.
I loved Jann desperately. But I hated that he lived in so much fear. And I was terrified of what that fear might drive him to if the circumstances turned against us. Particularly, against him.
Because I’d seen soldiers at war who believed they would die.
No one valued their own life less, than an honorable man who believed death was inevitable, and his only option was to look for an enemy to take out on his way. They stopped looking for a way out, and started looking for a way to give their own death meaning.
I wasn’t ready to lose him.
I would never be ready to lose him. Yet, he seemed determined to accept that he was already lost.
Jann’s tension rose the closer we got to the chamber where the rebels were meeting—and his hand tightened on mine when we turned a corner in the tunnel, and a soft glow of light appeared from deeper within. Soon he could set the lantern down and blow it out, so it would be there for our return.
He looked at me several times, but neither of us spoke until we could hear the echoing murmur of male voices. We’d be among them soon.
‘Don’t leave my side.’
‘I wouldn’t, but why would you worry? These are our allies.’
Jann didn’t answer, but pulled me right up against his side, slung his arm over my shoulders, and to my surprise, the easy, cocky swagger of the Jann I’d first met suddenly appeared.
I looked up, frowning, about to ask him, when we rounded the final corner and the chamber opened ahead of us—several fires set around the massive area lighting the entire cavern.
There was a low shout, and dozens of men turned to look at us.
A low roar rose, but one voice in particular.
“Dee?!”
I blinked, shocked at the familiar tone, then I stopped dead as my brother, Jhonas, in a dirty uniform, his hair sticking in five different directions, shoved through the crowd of men ahead of us and sprinted to meet me.
“Jhonas?!” I gasped.
Jann stiffened, but he let me go and stepped aside as my brother reached us, grabbing me up and swinging me around in a circle, hugging me so tightly I grunted.
I felt Jann flash with protective fury and reached for him through the bond.
‘He doesn’t know anything about the baby—and I don’t want him to. Not yet. It’s too early. Please.’
Jann tensed, but remained silent and only glared at Jhonas, until my brother put me down and held me by shoulders, beaming.
“Look at you! You look great! But tired—I thought—” Then he cut off and his brow furrowed with confusion… then with disapproval. “What the fuck are you wearing?” he snapped.
I blinked, then my stomach dropped.
Shit.
I’d forgotten about my new uniform. The flowing, laced up tunic of a sexual slave, over leggings that hugged my skin with panels cut out to reveal the sides of my thighs.
I’d grown so accustomed to this charade, I’d forgotten about it.
I tensed, but Jann appeared suddenly at my shoulder, whipping off his cloak and throwing it around my shoulders.
“It’s necessary,” was all he said, meeting eyes with Jhonas over my shoulder, as he wrapped me in the thick wool he used to keep us warm when he flew.
The problem was that my body had grown strange. Sometimes I couldn’t get warm. Others I couldn’t cool off, and the moment that cloak closed around me, already warmed by Jann’s body, my cheeks flared with heat, and I immediately began to sweat.
“How the hell is that necessary—”
“You’ll receive your briefing, and you’ll understand—”
They both bristled and swelled, and there was no fucking way I was doing this now with a hundred witnesses, and the two males in my life who were the most insufferable.
“Stop, both of you,” I said out loud, while reaching for Jhonas’ mind through the link. ‘He’s my mate. I’m pretending to be his slave. It lets us move freely in the city. Trust me, he’s not lying. It’s necessary.’
Jhonas looked like I’d dropped a rock on his head.
Jann glanced at me, obviously guessing that I’d spoken in my brother’s mind. But I wasn’t going to be the reason this entire meeting derailed, or either of the men I loved left with bruises.
“It’s so good to see you, Jhonas. I’m glad you made it. I thought you were staying back. Who else is here? We could use a few more shadow walkers…”
I continued, marching away from my brother and into the gathered men as I would if I still wore my uniform. Though many of these men weren’t Shadekin, so wouldn’t understand the position I held. Still, no harm letting them know I was a woman with authority of my own.
Then, without warning, another man stepped out of the crowd to salute, his face bright with happy surprise.
“Captain! It’s so good to see you safe!”
“Lane!” I cried, then caught myself—I couldn’t hug the kid like my brother. He was a Sergeant under my rank. But I’d never held the attitude that a commanding officer should show no emotion towards their men. So, I smiled widely. “I’m so glad that you’re here—and safe!”
“Yes, Ma’am.” He bowed quickly, then his eyes widened as he looked over my shoulder and caught sight of Jann.
“But don’t mind him, he outranks you,” I said hurriedly, then grinned.
“And he looks a lot scarier than he actually is,” I quipped, unable to help myself.
I couldn’t remember if Lane had been in the mists when Jann and I travelled through together.
Still, it was fun to take a breath away from all the fear, and poke at my mate.
“That’s debatable,” Jann muttered, but he accepted Lane’s uncertain salute with a nod, then turned to Jhonas. “Where’s Hever? Are you the highest rank here? Melek should be here soon, and I’d like to have the leaders gathered—”
“I’m here.”
That voice, like crumbling, rotted wood, made my skin crawl. We all turned to find the gray-skinned, yellow-eyed Hever staring out from under his hood, in the dark shadow of a massive stalagmite at the edge of the cavern.
I sensed the communal flinch of the Shadekin. Yet, no one reached for me, or spoke. Jann acted as if the air in the chamber hadn’t suddenly gone cold.
“Excellent. Have you formed a plan? Who do we need to gather before—”
“The others are coming in flights every two days—new waves of Neph each rest for one round, then return for the next. It will be slow going, but everyone will be here in ten days, fourteen if the weather worsens. As for me, I’ll reveal myself to the Council tonight.
Lucifer already awaits my appearance. I’ll put myself among the Advisors, and provide key information about the movements of the Centaurs and the Shadekin in Noctharrow Haven—critical information to prove my hard work and loyalty,” he growled.
Jann frowned. “Is that enough to distract the Fallen from—”
Hever snorted. “That male will never be truly distracted. If you need a window to get past him, your best chance is to present conflicting priorities in the same moment. More than one battle to fight. He is not God. He cannot be in two places at once.”
“He appears to be able to travel without time.”
Hever shrugged. “Who knows what the Fallen can or can’t do?”
“I was under the impression that you knew,” Jann growled.
Jhonas gripped his sword more tightly, but I whispered a caution in his mind.
Hever seemed unconcerned. “All I can tell you is, the male isn’t omniscient. Give him too many problems at the same time, then find the gap in his oversight. He’ll be forced to choose which problem to address personally. Do your best to guide him in the direction you’d choose.”
“Much, much easier said than done. But you know that, don’t you, Hever?”
The voice was deep, dark with disapproval, and held the resounding ring of authority.
We all turned to find Melek and Yilan, striding out of one of the side-tunnels.
Every Neph in the chamber dropped to a knee, slapping a fist to their chests immediately. The Shadekin were slower, but most followed suit, eyeing each other as if to check if their brothers had done the same.
Melek ignored them, but I saw him tense as Hever straightened from his bow.
“Of course, Sire,” Hever puttered. “However I maintain, the Fallen aren’t—”
“Not omniscient, I know. Cannot be ever-present. But that fucker has eyes watching on his behalf in every corner—whether we see them or not. And my question is… are they here, as well?”
The cavern rang with sudden silence as every man in the place looked sideways at someone who looked different—and almost everyone, including me, stared at Hever.