Chapter 13
13
I woke up with a groan when the alarm on my phone went off the next morning. I’d had a restless night’s sleep. I kept replaying my conversation with Jake at the party over and over again. Once the sparkling-wine buzz had subsided, I was embarrassed by how direct I’d been with Jake, and how the way he had looked at me had made me feel. Because I was sure he hadn’t been trying to flirt; he’d only wanted to make sure I avoided his arch-enemy. Plus, I knew for certain now that Jake had overheard everything I said to Liv about my lack of both a romantic and sex life. Ugh .
It would have been a perfect morning-after moment to hide under the covers and wish that the rest of the world would disappear. But if I had any hope of working in publishing again, I couldn’t do that. I needed to try to stop Hayley from sacking me and the only way to do that was to face Jake again. We had his reader event later in the day and I had no idea if we’d be able to turn the tide against him.
So, I crawled out of my hotel bed and shuffled into the bathroom, wincing when I caught sight of myself in the row of mirrors above the sink. My skin was pale, my under-eyes puffy, and my hair was wild from my tossing and turning during the night. I also hadn’t taken last night’s make-up off properly so eyeliner was smudged across my face.
I supposed that at least I wouldn’t need to fend off any more bad chat-up lines looking like this. Pulling off my pjs, I turned the shower onto the hottest setting and stepped under the water, hoping it would turn me from a zombie back into something resembling a human being. I stayed in there until my skin pruned, then I got ready for the day, pulling on a knee-length, floral dress with tan ankle boots. I tied my hair up into a ponytail and did my make-up then headed downstairs for breakfast. I knew Liv and Tessa had had breakfast really early as they had events of their own to do so after hitting the buffet, I carried my plate and coffee and looked for a free table.
‘Freya.’
I turned to see Jake at a table for two having his breakfast. He gestured to the empty chair. I knew this could be awkward but we still had to get through the rest of the conference together so I nodded, took a breath and went over to sit opposite him.
‘Morning,’ I said as I put my plate and coffee down, and sank into the spare chair.
‘Sleep at all?’ he asked, watching as I took a long sip of my coffee, hoping it would give me some much-needed energy. Jake looked a little bit tired too, but his hair and stubble were perfect as usual. He wore a crisp, blue shirt and a pair of navy trousers. It was a pleasant view across the table, that was for sure.
‘Not great, no.’
‘Same. Listen, we have a few hours before the reader session; why don’t we leave this hotel and see a bit of New York? I feel like we both could do with it.’
I raised an eyebrow. ‘You want to hang out with me?’
‘You haven’t seen anything of the city yet and I know how excited you were to be in New York; it doesn’t feel right. Let’s get out of here.’
I hesitated. ‘But I thought you were over New York…’ I remembered Jake’s reaction to me looking out of the yellow cab from the airport. I was desperate to get out of hotels and see New York but not with someone who wasn’t interested in enjoying it with me. Plus, things felt so awkward between us after him warning me about Davis last night and me questioning who Jake was as a person. And whether I would like him or not.
‘Well, seeing it through your eyes might change my mind. I know the place like the back of my hand; I’m happy to take you anywhere you want to go.’ He saw me still hesitating. ‘Come on, what have you got to lose?’ he challenged me, a twinkle in his eyes that surprised me.
I couldn’t deny the fact that I liked it when I saw a different side of Jake than I had the past six months before this trip. A side that wasn’t the cold, reserved, business-like author but a glimpse of who he was as a man. A side that I wondered whether I could really like. A side that was at odds with him lying about Kelly Shepperd’s article. Which side was the true Jake? Maybe getting out of a work setting with him might help me to find out. So, I nodded finally.
‘Well, okay then, if you’re sure.’
He smiled. ‘Where in New York have you most wanted to go?’
A thrill ran through me at being able to go somewhere that I had wanted to see. ‘I’d love to go to the library,’ I said eagerly. I remembered seeing it in Sex and the City , and I had vowed to see it for myself one day.
‘Of course. Finished your breakfast?’
I drained the remaining drops of my coffee. ‘All done.’
‘Need to get anything from your room or to get changed?’
‘You think I need to change?’ I looked down at my dress and boots, knowing Jake was dressed far smarter than me.
‘Of course not. That outfit is… you,’ Jake replied. ‘Let’s go.’
It took me a second to get up and follow him after he said that. I thought about how startled he was when I was dressed up on the first night here. I assumed it was because he didn’t think I was capable of looking elegant but he had just been surprised because it hadn’t seemed like… me.
Which was exactly the way I had felt.
* * *
Stepping out of the hotel lobby, we both blinked as the New York morning sunshine beamed down upon us. The quiet, air-conditioned, dimly lit hotel was replaced by cars honking, people walking past with iced coffees, a bright-blue sky and warmth on our skin.
‘Let’s walk so you can see as much as possible on the way,’ Jake suggested, setting off at a brisk pace. He soon slowed down when he realised I was struggling to keep up with his much longer limbs, though. ‘When I first came here, I was overwhelmed,’ he said as I glanced around, drinking the energy all around me in. I looked up at the skyscrapers leaning in on us, the sun sparkling off the shiny glass, feeling incredibly insignificant in comparison. ‘It’s so frantic and so big but once you adjust, you fit right in.’
‘But you didn’t seem happy to be back here,’ I pointed out.
Jake shook his head. ‘I’m sorry. I could see how excited you were. And on the plane.’
‘You found it irritating,’ I said with a shrug because I wasn’t bothered, I was excited and didn’t want to have to pretend otherwise.
‘No,’ he snapped at me. I raised an eyebrow and he spoke again in a calmer tone. ‘It just made me realise how I’ve changed these past few months.’ He coughed and ran a hand through his hair. ‘It’s been a difficult time.’
‘Because of the article?’ I asked curiously.
‘Because of what led up to me telling Davis those things.’ He looked across at me. ‘I suppose I’ve always kept business apart from my personal life, but you met me at a very low point. I was angry and bitter and hurt. I guess I leaned even more into shutting everyone and everything out.’
Curiosity flooded through my veins again. What had happened in his personal life that lead to Kelly publishing that article? Why was it better for the world to believe that he hated romance books? ‘Why do you find it so hard to open up?’ I asked him.
‘Maybe no one has encouraged me to do so before. You find it easy to open up, don’t you?’
I was startled by the direct question. I looked over at him and our eyes met. He asked the question confidently, like he already knew me. I half liked it, and was half annoyed that I didn’t feel the same about him. ‘I suppose I have always worn my heart on my sleeve. But I’m trying harder not to… Since I moved to London and got this job with Hayley, I want to be more professional, less honest and stop saying exactly what I think.’
‘Why would you want to do that?’
‘Shouldn’t I be more professional?’
‘Well, maybe talking about your romantic life in the office isn’t always the best idea.’ He grinned at me and I shook my head, my cheeks turning a little bit pink remembering what he had overheard that day. ‘But you should be yourself, okay?’
Jake seemed sincere but it was strange that he was so keen for me to stay honest when he hadn’t been. ‘Maybe you should take your own advice,’ I suggested.
‘Maybe you’ll rub off on me,’ he replied, a smile playing on his lips.
I shook my head but I couldn’t help smiling back. He was still infuriatingly silent on why he said those things about romance but he had admitted it all had made him different these past few months. And it made me want to find out who the true Jake was even more.