Chapter 29
29
My heart beat in time with Jake’s later that night. I was curled up against his chest, his arm strong and secure around me. We had ripped each other’s clothes off when we got back to my hotel room after our date, tossing them onto the floor and collapsing on the bed together. The sex had been urgent and passionate and we were recovering in silence, breathless and slightly sweaty, small smiles on our faces.
‘Why weren’t we doing this the whole time?’ Jake murmured into my hair then.
I chuckled softly against his chest. ‘Probably because we were at loggerheads.’
Jake looked down at me and I tilted my head to meet his gaze. ‘This is much better. Were you really intimidated by me?’
‘Well, you know I was a fan of your books so I was nervous to meet you, and you were…’ I trailed off, not wanting to be too harsh when we were naked and still in a delicious post-orgasm state together.
‘A twat?’ Jake supplied, making us both laugh. He pulled me closer. ‘I’m sorry. You must have felt let down meeting me. I wish I could go back to that first meeting six months ago and do it differently. I know it’s not a decent excuse, but I wasn’t myself. I am slowly getting back to him. You have no idea how much you are helping. But when we met, I was bitter and angry and hurt, and I was taking it out on the world. I’m sorry, Freya. I want to make it up to you.’
‘Why were you like that? Because of what had happened in your personal life?’ I asked, wishing that he would trust me with the story.
‘Yes,’ he whispered. He moved then, scooting down and rolling onto his side to face me on the bed. He reached out to stroke my arm as he held my gaze in the semi-darkness of the room. I hooked a leg over his and he smiled. ‘You know when you asked me why I started writing, and why I started writing romance books when we were on the way to the Brooklyn Bridge?’
I nodded.
He reached down and took hold of my hand in his. I squeezed it reassuringly.
‘I didn’t tell you the full story. After I read Emma , I asked Mum why it was her favourite book, she said it was because the first time she read it, she had been at university. She said she was on a bench in the middle of the campus, and my father…’ Jake trailed off for a minute, his jaw clenching. He took a breath and continued. ‘He had come and sat beside her, and asked her what she thought of the book. They had ended up talking for hours. Mum said she had known he would be important to her from that day.’
‘That’s so romantic,’ I swooned. ‘Like something right out of one of your love stories.’
Jake sighed. ‘Exactly. I thought that was so sweet too. Their story inspired me. I thought I would love to have that kind of romance one day. I looked at my parents and wanted what they had. That, along with reading romances, inspired me to write my own one.’
I leaned in to kiss him. ‘That’s so beautiful,’ I said, feeling even more attracted to him if that was possible. ‘I used to read your books and wonder if I’d ever find a love like the kind you wrote about. I guess that’s why I stopped dating these past few years.’
Jake shook his head. ‘I’ve spent a lot of the last six months wondering if love like that does exist too so I get it. I wondered whether I wanted to read or write romance again.’
‘Yeah, I felt like I would never find it…’ I trailed off, not wanting him to misinterpret my words. I knew this wasn’t love but when we looked at one another in this hotel-room bubble, it felt like there was a possibility that one day, this could be more than a fling. I longed to know if he could feel it too or not. ‘I had a series of relationships that went nowhere. And then bad dates that made me not want to bother even trying.’ Then I frowned, thinking about what Jake had told me. ‘But why did you change what you thought about love? I mean, your parents still inspire you with their love story, don’t they?’ I asked him curiously.
‘I wish they did.’ He shifted uncomfortably on the bed. ‘I want to tell you…’ he trailed off.
I let go of his hand and took his face in my hands. ‘It’s okay. You can tell me anything. If you want to. I won’t tell anyone, Jake. It can just be between us. Like what we’ve been doing in here.’ I gave him a small smile and leaned in to brush my lips against his.
Jake pulled me closer and gave me a soft, deep kiss. ‘Thank you, Freya. That means a lot.’ He took a deep breath. ‘What I found out six months ago made me wonder if I ever wanted to write or read a love story ever again. I wasn’t sure I believed in love any more because the happy ever after that inspired me to write books with similar happy endings, and made me want to find my own one day, turned out to have been far from happy.’
‘Your parents aren’t as happy as you thought?’
‘It was all a lie,’ he said bitterly. ‘My parents, who inspired my love stories, who have been married for forty years and who I thought were the ultimate happy ever after… are actually not.’ Jake’s eyes locked with mine. ‘I found out that my father has got a second family that my mum and I knew nothing about.’