Chapter 30
30
There was a short silence as I absorbed his words. ‘What do you mean your dad has a second family?’ I asked, my heart going out to him as I saw the pain in his eyes.
‘My dad has been having an affair for decades. But it’s worse than an affair. They have a home and children together. He basically lived for years juggling two families,’ Jake said, holding on to me tightly. I held him close, feeling his need for comfort.
‘Oh my God, Jake. I’m so sorry,’ I said. ‘How did you find out?’
‘He sat us down and told us because he’s decided now he’s due for retirement that he wants to retire with them , not us,’ Jake said, shaking his head. ‘It all felt like my whole life has been a lie. That their love story and marriage was just all bullshit, you know?’
I couldn’t even imagine how it would feel to have everything come crashing down around me like that. His parents’ love story hadn’t been the one he had thought it was. Now I understood why he had fought against romance after that. ‘No wonder you haven’t been yourself the past six months. What about your mum?’
‘Devastated. After forty years of marriage, she’s now living alone. He’s broken her heart. He’s living with his other family. She is so strong but it’s changed everything. I still can’t get my head around it all, to be honest. I admired him so much. Now I realise I never really knew my father at all.’
‘I can’t believe that he did what he did to the two of you. It’s just… shit.’
He smiled faintly. ‘Shit is right.’
We lapsed into silence for a moment, wrapped around each other still, the only sound the beating of our hearts and the noise of New York floors below us.
‘Have I completely ruined the mood?’ Jake said then.
I smiled. ‘No. I’m glad you trusted me with your secret.’
Jake leaned in to kiss me. ‘I’m glad I did too.’
‘Why did you feel that telling Davis Mulberry you didn’t like romance books was preferable to him finding out about your father?’ I asked him then.
‘God, you love to ask me difficult questions, don’t you?’
I shrugged. ‘I want to get to know the real you.’
‘I want that too,’ he replied softly. ‘You’ve made me want to be honest.’
My heart soared at his words.
Jake thought for a moment about my question. ‘Well, I suppose it felt like my romance writing career had all been a lie because it had been inspired by my own parents’ love story. And that had been as fictional as romance novels. I wasn’t sure if I believed in love any more, let alone want to write about it. But also because Mulberry is the biggest gossip and I didn’t want to admit what my father had done; I was ashamed and angry and hurt. And I kind of felt stupid.’
‘Stupid?’ I asked, confused as to why he would think that.
‘I had no idea he had another family. And I’m scared too…’
‘Of what?’
‘Of being like him.’
I shook my head. ‘I don’t think you are. You didn’t give up on love. You started writing again; you gave Hayley a new book. And I’ve read it. When I Met You is your best book yet. That can’t be written by a man who thinks love doesn’t exist.’
‘I started writing it before Dad told us. It took months for me to be able to even open up the document again.’
‘But you did. And you’re here trying to save your career because it means something to you.’
‘Freya, you are…’ Jake didn’t finish that thought but kissed me, rolling me onto my back. He trailed kisses down my neck to my chest, moving his hand between my legs. I gasped as he touched me. He lifted off me and raised an eyebrow. ‘How much sleep do you need tonight?’ He grinned and I knew he was done talking. I was so happy he had opened up to me, though and had trusted me with his secret. I felt closer to him. This felt so different to anything I had ever had before. I wanted to keep it. But I knew that was a secret I wasn’t able to trust him with yet.
So, instead, I giggled. ‘Who needs sleep?’
* * *
Voices outside the room awoke me with a start the following morning. I opened my eyes and looked at Jake’s sleeping profile. Our legs were tangled together and my palm rested on his bare chest. Images from last night replayed in my mind like a movie. It had been so romantic to dance with him in Times Square, and then when we came back to my room, that sweetness turned into something smoking hot. I bit my lip remembering how good Jake’s kisses and touches had felt.
And then he had finally opened up to me. Hope sprung in my heart that Jake might see this as something that could carry on once we went home to London. He’d told me about his father, and how it had affected him. Why he had lied to Davis but also almost gave up on writing about love. But he hadn’t. He was here fighting for his career and he was finally being honest about the past six months. I loved the fact he had listened to me. That he respected me. And had wanted to tell me the truth. That meant more to me than he probably knew.
I looked at the clock on the bedside table and sighed. We couldn’t stay much longer in this hotel room, unfortunately. After breakfast, the conference was having a final morning event to showcase all the authors and their books for the last time. Everyone apart from Jake pretty much had a stand in the room that readers could stop at to buy books or merch, have things signed, or just meet their favourite authors. Jake had refused to have a stand but we still needed to be seen there. It was our last opportunity for Jake to be around readers and the industry, the last chance to fix things. I had no idea if that was possible but we had to try.
And then there was going to be an end-of-conference dinner and party, before we had to pull ourselves together for an early flight home. We’d have to pack after breakfast and check out too. There seemed to be a long list of things to do today but snuggled next to Jake, I wished we could blow them all off.
‘I can feel you thinking hard.’ Jake’s eyes opened. He pulled me closer. ‘What’s wrong?’
‘Just thinking about what we need to do today and then we’ll be leaving and then…’ I trailed off because I had no idea what would happen after that.
Jake reached out to brush back a strand of my hair and then cupped my cheek. ‘It’s going to be a full-on day for sure. You enjoyed last night, though?’ Jake asked me softly, drawing his fingertips down to touch my lips.
‘I did,’ I replied. ‘Did you?’
‘You know I did.’
‘It will be strange being at the conference today and not being like this,’ I said, gesturing to us still entwined.
‘Can I keep my hands off you?’ Jake pulled me in for a lingering kiss.
‘You need to,’ I said seriously when we leaned back from each other. Liv’s warnings ran through my mind. I watched as Jake looked confused. ‘I don’t think we want anyone to find out about us here,’ I said. ‘Hayley is still silent. If we can’t make things right, I could lose my job and you could lose an agent. If she found out what we’ve been doing, we definitely would lose everything.’
‘I wouldn’t care if she dumps me; you’ve done more for me these past few days than she would have done.’
‘I can’t afford to think like that,’ I explained. ‘I’m just starting out. She could ruin my career before it even starts,’ I added worriedly. I was already unsure if she wanted me to keep working for her.
‘You really are worried about your career?’
‘She was furious.’
‘Yeah but we’ve made progress since then…’
I shook my head. ‘Not enough. Her silence speaks volumes.’
‘I don’t want to ruin anything for you,’ Jake said sincerely. ‘Hayley won’t find out about us, okay?’
‘Thank you but how we can salvage things enough to get you a new book deal and for me to keep my job, let alone get a promotion, I have no idea…’
‘How about I come up with something? And while I think about it, we make the last moments together in this hotel room count.’
‘We can’t. I should have a shower and then we need to have breakfast and start the day.’ I found myself curling closer around him. I really didn’t want to have to leave his warm, strong embrace. Especially now we had agreed we couldn’t show any signs of being anything other than colleagues after we left my hotel room.
‘Hmm,’ Jake said, holding me tightly too. ‘Hard to let go of each other, isn’t it?’
‘I’m so comfy,’ I agreed. ‘But I know we have to get ready.’
Jake leaned in and kissed me again. I let out a sigh but kissed him back, my fingers threading through his hair as he moved his to my waist. ‘I might be addicted to kissing you,’ he murmured into my ear.
‘Oh yeah?’ I purred back. ‘I might want you to be addicted to kissing me.’ I brushed my lips against his but then I sighed. ‘I really should have that shower,’ I said reluctantly.
Jake’s eyes twinkled then. ‘If you really don’t want us to let go of each other, we could have a shower together?’
The thought of Jake wet and naked with me was instantly appealing. ‘I think that’s a very good idea,’ I admitted, wanting to prolong us being together for as long as possible. I tried to think if I had ever done that with a previous partner but I definitely hadn’t. I probably would have been too worried at being so exposed but last night, Jake had made it very clear that he found me sexy and loved my body, and I hadn’t felt nervous or worried.
I extracted myself from his arms finally, my body instantly feeling the loss of his. I wondered if other couples also felt sad when they had to let go of each other and start their days like I did.
Not that we were a couple or anything.
Jake climbed out of bed with me and we stayed naked so that helped the loss of his embrace a lot.
Jake took hold of my hand and led me into the marbled bathroom. The shower was thankfully a large walk-in one so after he turned on the shower, we stepped in it easily together. The water was hot instantly, steaming the room up around us as we got under it.
Jake wrapped his arms around me and looked down at me as water washed over us. ‘This was a very good idea,’ he said, moving his hands up and down my arms. ‘Can I wash you?’
I bit my lip. ‘Um… okay.’
‘You can’t be nervous after everything we’ve done together?’ Jake asked with a smile at my hesitant reply.
‘This is all kind of new to me,’ I admitted.
‘I told you we don’t do anything you don’t want to do, right?’ Jake said, leaning in to kiss me gently.
‘I want you to,’ I said, more firmly as his kiss gave me a pleasant shiver down my spine.
Jake reached for the body wash in one of those cute hotel bottles and squeezed some out on his palms. Keeping his eyes on me, he started to lather up soap on my body as we stayed pressed together under the hot water. It was incredibly intimate as he washed my skin carefully. When his palms caressed my breasts, I had to lean back against the shower tiles, letting out a sigh. ‘What else needs cleaning?’ Jake murmured then. He ran one hand down my body towards my thighs. I gave an eager nod and he chuckled, reaching between my legs and stroking me there. ‘Do you like that, baby?’
‘Yes,’ I breathed, arching my back in pleasure at his touch. I looked down and saw he was just as turned on as me. I reached for him and started stroking too.
‘Mmm, you know exactly what I like,’ Jake said, propping up on hand one the tiles behind me as I clung on to his waist with my free hand. He kept his eyes on me and the eye contact was so erotic that coupled with his touch and our wet naked bodies being so close, I couldn’t hold back a loud moan.
‘Good girl,’ Jake encouraged and I moaned again. ‘I want to fuck you against these tiles so badly.’
God, Jake’s sex talk was so hot. ‘Please,’ I said instantly, desperate for him again even though we’d had sex last night. It felt like Jake knew exactly how to turn me on and I was putty in his hands.
‘Hang on.’ Jake let go of me and I closed my eyes, letting the shower ease the slight ache in my neck from our activities yesterday. Jake stepped out and returned with a condom, slipping it on and returning to me, kissing me with such passion, I felt breathless. He lifted me easily up against the tiles then, our height difference coming in extremely handy, and brushed back my wet hair so he could see my face. ‘Do you want me, Freya?’
‘So much,’ I said.
‘I want you so much too,’ he said huskily, sliding inside me. We both gasped, smiling at the friction as Jake moved, pressing me into the tiles, and I clung to him, desperate to be as close as possible. He kissed me, then moved his lips to my ears. ‘This is better than I could have even hoped.’
‘For me too,’ I replied, letting out another moan. This felt so good and naughty too. Jake was introducing me to a whole host of things I’d never done with a man. I really had been missing out. Not just in my years of not having any sex but before them when the sex I’d had was nothing like this.
‘I don’t want this to stop,’ Jake said so quietly, I wondered if I had heard him correctly or not but I shuddered against him, lost in pleasure so I couldn’t check. But I hoped he had said what I thought he said, and meant it, because I felt exactly the same way.