Chapter 35
Plus Two
It took Elizabeth much longer than it should have to answer, but since there was no trick Anne knew that Jane had not invented, a quick kick brought her back to herself. She remembered her manners at last, curtseyed, and offered a greeting.
“Colonel, what an… unexpected pleasure.”
She hoped he would not read too much into the pause while she chose between accuracy and politeness—or at least she liked to pretend she was that much in control of her thoughts.
In truth, she was startled and tried her best not to babble.
The ghosts of Rosings haunted her, and she was not convinced she cared for the experience.
Of course, Jane had no idea who the new entrant was, so she offered no help. The colonel wore no uniform, making him indistinguishable from any other gentleman.
Fortunately, he either did not notice the pause or chose to ignore it. “Miss Bennet, it is wonderful to see you here.”
“I hope you are not inconvenienced. I understood your father offered his box, then moved us to this one at the last minute. Your cousin arranged the whole thing. Of course, if you need it, we can return another evening.”
“Absolutely not. This is a fortuitous encounter, and I find not the slightest fault in it. I have slept with a dozen men in a tent smaller than this many times.”
Elizabeth laughed while Jane looked suitably shocked.
She noticed the colonel had a young lady on his arm, and judging by her age, she presumed she was some relation, as no gentleman of any sense would step out with someone that young.
The lady could not be much above Kitty’s age, but was taller, blonder, much better dressed, and appeared intimidated, confused, and excited.
The colonel, perhaps for the first time in his life, was at a loss for words. Elizabeth let him sweat, thinking now was as good a time as any for him to work on his character.
The gentleman finally asked, “Which cousin?”
Elizabeth was happy to hear the old teasing tone in his voice. “It was Anne.”
The man started. “Anne de Bourgh?”
“She is staying with my family, first in Cheapside then in Hertfordshire for a few months. She arranged everything.”
The man seemed incapable of comprehending that tidbit, so Elizabeth added whimsically, “Perhaps while you adjust your view of the world to includes Anne somewhere other than Rosings, we might perform introductions.”
Shaking his head, the colonel said, “Perhaps you could begin.”
“Of course. My aunt and uncle, Mr and Mrs Edwin Gardiner. May I introduce you to Colonel Fitzwilliam, cousin of Mr Darcy and son of the earl. His father arranged this box.”
“A pleasure, Mr and Mrs Gardiner.”
“The pleasure is all ours, Colonel.”
“My eldest sister, Miss Jane Bennet, and her intended, Mr Jameson. We briefly discussed her in Hertfordshire.”
Elizabeth smiled to take the sting off the revelation.
She wanted him to suffer a little, but not too much.
More importantly, she wanted him to understand who Jane was, so he would not say anything stupid; or at least, she could reduce the odds, which was the best she could hope for with a man like that.
Jameson had stood outside the colonel’s line of sight, but at the name, the colonel smiled hugely. “Miss Bennet, it is a supreme pleasure to meet you. Your sister did not exaggerate your admirable qualities in the least.”
Jane curtseyed, wondering what in the world Lizzy had said to the man. “The pleasure is mine, Colonel.”
Mischief prompted Elizabeth. “Is she not the perfect reflection of my description, Colonel?”
Looking startled, and just barely realising that Darcy must have said considerably more than he admitted, the colonel began to wonder just how far into her brown books he presently resided.
“Indeed!”
Jameson bowed in return. “Fitzwilliam, I presume all agreements remain?”
The colonel laughed, his good humour restored and most of his awkwardness gone. “Ah, I did not see you there, Jameson. Of course, all agreements are in place, as always.”
Curiously, Elizabeth asked, “Agreements?”
“There are certain gentlemen’s agreements of secrecy between us from our days at Cambridge, mostly concerning certain… ah… incidents involving primarily donkeys, chickens, and deans.”
Everyone laughed, and Elizabeth decided to move things along, silently grateful to her soon-to-be brother for recognising the awkwardness and intervening.
Everyone seemed much more relaxed, except for the young lady.
She was a timid-looking thing, the sort who would be afraid of her shadow if the candles could produce one; but no doubt she would come out of her shell sooner or later, and Elizabeth did not object as the lady hid safely behind the colonel for a few minutes.
“Of course, that brings us round to me, and your young lady. Since you seem more inclined towards discussions of livestock than introductions, perhaps I can take care of the young lady. I am Miss Elizabeth Bennet, and my companions are my aunt and Uncle Gardiner, my eldest sister, and my livestock master, Mr Jameson.”
She curtseyed in an exaggerated fashion to the young lady, predictably making her giggle—the effect Elizabeth sought.
The colonel laughed. “Speaking of donkeys, allow me. Miss Elizabeth Bennet, my cousin and ward, Miss Georgiana Darcy. Georgiana, this is Miss Bennet… or I suppose Miss Elizabeth now.”
“I shall be until my sister surrenders the title in a few months.”
Georgiana curtseyed, speaking shakily. “I am honoured to meet you, Mr and Mrs Gardiner, Mr Jameson, Miss Bennet, and Miss Elizabeth.”
The young lady stared at Elizabeth for a moment. “I have heard your name before, Miss Elizabeth. Quite often, if I am not mistaken. Did you not walk 3 miles to tend your sister at Netherfield in the autumn?”
“I presume you would walk a dozen miles to tend your brother?”
“If the need arose, I would do more than that.”
Elizabeth smiled. “You can see that no particular praise is necessary. What is 3 miles—little more than an hour? I would walk farther than that just to enjoy the shock on certain faces when I appeared with my petticoats 6 inches deep in mud.”
Georgiana laughed gaily, perfectly aware of who owned those certain faces. “My brother was understandably disinclined to delve into petticoats in any detail. I wonder, though, did you mortally wound my brother’s pride by beating him in a game of chess in less than 20 minutes?”
Quite surprised, Elizabeth said, “I cannot boast of beating an inferior opponent,” but smiled to show she meant to tease.
The young lady seemed surprised, but smiled broadly and went along with the jest.
“To be fair, Miss Darcy, I only beat your brother in two games, so I have little cause to boast.”
“2 out of how many? You know perfectly well the numerator is not at all useful without the corresponding denominator.”
Elizabeth laughed at the mathematical reference. What had her brother said to his sister recently?
“You are absolutely correct. We played 3 games.”
The young lady laughed, only to stop in embarrassment;
Elizabeth stepped over and took her hand. “Never apologise for honest laughter. Anyone offended is not worth knowing, so it is a useful way to sort the wheat from the chaff.”
The young lady smiled, still uncomfortable and unsure of herself; Elizabeth considered whether Jane or she might best put her at ease.
A young footman handed Mr Gardiner a note.
“We have been abandoned. Miss de Bourgh will stay with her family for the performance.”
“That is for the best. It will save me from being rude, as I intend to speak only with Miss Darcy. Colonel, you and Mr Jameson can go reminisce about livestock. Miss Darcy, you will be here beside me.”
Apparently comforted, the young lady went to the specified seat as the bell for the curtain rang. She appeared not the least bit concerned that a stranger ordered her about in her own box, evidently trusting Miss Elizabeth to look out for her welfare and comfort.
The colonel let her go with a smile and sat beside the Gardiners to enjoy the show.
~~~
The play proved the perfect introduction for two young ladies, and Elizabeth thought it should be the done thing.
It was a light comedy both had read. The performance was adequate but not capital, so while the action on the stage entertained, it did not rivet.
A few comments early in the first act and their rebuttals gave both a chance to whisper back and forth.
They spoke more and more about the play, so by the first intermission, they were practically ready to discuss another topic.
The colonel bowed politely. “I see you are becoming acquainted.”
“I am corrupting your cousin,” Elizabeth said, laughing. “I hope you do not mind.”
“Corrupt away, my lady. I plan to take your uncle to do battle for refreshments. Mrs Gardiner, Miss Bennet, and Jameson plan to visit friends. Will the two of you be all right by yourselves?”
Elizabeth turned to Miss Darcy with a silent query and rejoiced at the young lady’s shy smile.
“As long as you remember that the card room and refreshments are in opposite directions,” Miss Darcy said, “I shall condescend to allow it.”
Elizabeth laughed at the small witticism. How long would Miss Darcy be shy? She suspected the young lady was shy around her brother and the colonel, and probably led a sheltered existence that precluded much opportunity to practise; but immediately chastised herself for unfounded speculation.
“If the footman ensures nobody enters the box, I shall be happy to take responsibility for your charge.”
“Like sending a fox to guard the chickens,” the colonel laughed, then bowed and left with Mr Gardiner.
Elizabeth turned to Miss Darcy. “What shall we talk about? I am at your disposal.”
Careful of the young lady’s every change of countenance, she noticed that whatever store of courage had allowed Miss Darcy to be so flippant with the colonel had spent itself, and she was quite at a loss.
Wishing to help the young lady, Elizabeth said, “Be easy. We need not discuss anything of particular note. I am just happy to spend the time with you. Your brother mentioned you briefly, and certain parties in Netherfield spoke about you at length, but I actually know almost nothing.”
She waited half a minute for the young lady to choose a topic, ready to introduce an innocuous one if she did not. A moment later, the young lady sighed and stood straighter.
“Miss Elizabeth, we have not known each other an hour yet, and we have not much time before our relatives return. Might I… that is… well—”
Elizabeth took her hand. “Have no fear. Nothing you say is likely to rattle me or earn my censure. You may even dispense with propriety and manners altogether if it helps.”
Georgiana still stared at her shoes, so Elizabeth boldly slipped her knuckles beneath her chin and raised her head. “You need not fear me.”
The young lady’s eyes grew large, and she let out a startled exclamation. “Of course not!”
She ducked her head for a moment and spoke more calmly. “I apologise. That must have seemed rude, but I know I need not fear you. I just wondered… would you be willing to have tea with me at my home? You would be my first guest outside the family.”
Elizabeth smiled. “There, now, that was not so difficult, was it? I would be honoured, so long as you obtain approval from your guardian. I leave for Hertfordshire in a few days, but I could call tomorrow or the next day. Should I bring Jane and Anne?”
The lady chewed her lip. “No, just you, if you do not mind. I can send a coach and maid to escort you so as to not inconvenience your uncle. As for consent, my guardian is the colonel at present. He would consent to inviting a troop of trolls to dig out our cellars for months if he thought they might find good brandy.”
Elizabeth laughed, possibly more than the jest was worth, and the young lady relaxed minutely.
“I shall be happy to call. Did you have anything in particular to discuss?”
A commotion sounded at the door. The colonel returned with Jameson, deeply engaged in their apparent favourite subject, which had expanded beyond poultry and livestock to include Oxford dons. The less she knew about that discussion, the better.
“We have little private time left. Do you wish to name the subject? If not, we can settle it later. I shall be happy to call.”
The young lady glanced around to ensure they were still alone.
“I have several things I would like to discuss with you. I imagine we should start with the basics. What in the world have you done to my brother?”