Overdue Courtesy #2
Bingley walked away from the small group until he stood only two or three feet in front of Elizabeth.
“May I ask a completely impertinent question before we leave, Miss Bennet?”
Caroline nearly screamed, “Leave! Are you out of your mind, Charles?”
“Caroline, I said not one word. Suppose we make a new rule. I have control over your allowance, which you never manage to stay within. As of today, you will never be allowed credit to exceed it again, and I will deduct ￡50 for every word I hear between now and the moment I give you leave to speak, whether that is in an hour or a month.”
She sputtered and started to speak, but it came out as a cross between a growl and a squeak, to which Bingley said, “There goes the first 50. Do not test me.”
He stared at his sister until she bit her tongue and remained silent, then returned his attention to Elizabeth. He stared at her in a manner that might have disconcerted her before, but now it was just about business as usual, and even on the lower side of her awkwardness scale.
At length, Bingley said, “You know, Darcy, you were right.”
Darcy looked startled, both by the abrupt change in conversation and the disconcerting way Bingley regarded Elizabeth.
“In that case, you are wrong, Bingley. I was both factually incorrect about the eldest Miss Bennet, and entirely improper in thrusting myself into your business. I apologised to the lady, but I owe you an apology as well.”
“That was not my meaning… though if you wish to chastise yourself for giving well-meaning advice because it makes you feel better, when I was too stupid to think for myself, pray continue, though I would rather not listen to it. I was thinking of another topic entirely.”
“Perhaps you could rephrase that with more specificity. At this point, I am not following you any better than your sister is. I hazard to guess that not even Miss Bennet or Mrs Gardiner can follow you, which is saying something.”
Bingley chuckled in something approaching his customary manner. “You were right about Miss Bennet… the present Miss Bennet.”
Darcy shook his head. Elizabeth was more amused than concerned, and the Gardiners appeared no less diverted.
Mrs Gardiner said, “Do not worry about us. We pay good money and stand in far worse crowds for half the entertainment at Ascot.”
Mr Gardiner added, “Pray continue, Mr Bingley. I see the trick you used to gain our attention; do not waste it.”
Bingley chuckled again. “You overstate the quality of my thinking by at least double, but I suppose I should try to reduce the confusion, rather than increase it.”
Elizabeth laughed, surprised to find she again liked Mr Bingley at least a little. “If you want to be a spoilsport—”
Bingley looked like she had given him the greatest of gifts. “Darcy was right. You are the politest person I ever met, and yet, without a single unkind word, you have given my sister and me a thrashing I shall not soon forget.”
Elizabeth had no idea how to respond, but was saved the bother when Darcy said, “I hope I do not embarrass Miss Bennet when I say this, but she is like a combination of the softest kid gloves on a set of blacksmith’s tongs.”
She was, in fact quite embarrassed by the statement, but not distressed, as it was endearing in an awkward way.
Darcy studied her, likely making certain she was not alarmed by his words.
She gave him a bright smile, and once she had his attention, winked when she was certain only he could see.
Darcy returned her smile. “Bingley, if you go, I must condense what I planned to say to you. My advice is that you learn from this experience. I have been through something similar, and am the better for it.”
“I most certainly shall.”
“I was wrong about the eldest Miss Bennet, but in the end, it worked out for the best. Neither you nor I were prepared to be good husbands. I have learnt a great deal recently, and if you wish my last piece of advice, I suggest you endeavour to do the same before you try your hand at courting again.”
“I suspect you are correct. I know what to do, or at least where to start. Caroline and I might sequester ourselves from society for some time to try to understand it.”
“Charles, you cannot be serious!”
Bingley gave an evil chuckle, if such a thing were possible.
“We are up to ￡250. Shall we try for 300?”
“Pray, do not do so on my account, Mr Bingley.”
“Miss Bennet, if a ship were foundering in a storm, would you censure the very last raindrop that sent it to its watery grave?”
“When you return to Mr Darcy for more advice, as I am certain you will—to your mutual credit—you may skip the lesson on abusing analogies to death. I believe you have mastered the skill.”
“A fair rebuke. Now, I believe we are finished with overdue courtesies. We all seem to have worked out each other’s names, so perhaps we might skip present courtesies and go straight to interpretation before my sister and I depart.”
Elizabeth smiled. There might be something to Charles Bingley after all… eventually.
“I should be happy to. Mr Darcy, with your permission?”