Chapter 10 Zachariah #2
I roll my eyes. I really don’t have the patience for this right now. “What did I tell you, Ash?” I ask her. “You can’t keep acting like we’re together. I broke up with you months ago.”
She sighs, letting her shoulders drop dramatically as she feigns a look of sadness. Her blonde hair falls in her face as she pulls a strand from over her shoulder and twirls it between her fingers.
“I miss you, Z. And I really don’t understand why you broke up with me.”
“I think we both know exactly why I broke up with you,” I state firmly but cautious enough to keep my voice down. “And why I will never take you back.”
“It was a silly mistake. You know I won’t do it again. I said I was sorry. Come on. Don’t you miss me?” She pushes her bottom lip out, a gesture of pouting at me. But she should know by now that it won't work on me.
“No,” I tell her, giving her the honest truth. “I don’t, Ashley. So I’d really appreciate it if you’d just let it go and move on.”
I start to get uncomfortable with this situation, knowing that people are probably staring at us right now.
The last thing I need is unwanted attention and rumors starting about me and my ex.
I’m not a messy guy. But getting involved with her was definitely a messy decision. One that I truly regret.
I decide to do the best thing and just leave, but she stops me with a hand on my chest.
“Oh, you mean like you have?”
“What are you talking about?” I groan, hating that I’m wasting my time even entertaining her antics, but then what she says next makes my blood boil.
“I see the way you look at Cadence. It’s kind of sick really. Isn’t she supposed to be like your little sister?”
Her tone is sour, like she’s being snotty on purpose, trying to get under my skin. Maybe even like she's jealous. Irritation scratches me as I look into her eyes, but I’m not going to give her the reaction she’s looking for.
“You don’t have a clue what you’re talking about,” I say to her, hoping that she’ll just drop it, but it’s pointless.
“I’m not stupid, Zach. I can see the way you are when she’s in the room. And I get it, she’s a pretty girl. But isn’t that, like, I don’t know . . . breaking bro-code or something? I mean, does Brayden know you’re into his little sister?”
Fuck. Have I really been that obvious? Of course, I can’t let Ashley or anyone else believe that I’m into Cadence.
Not that I truly care what anyone else thinks but that would be a disaster just waiting to happen.
And quite frankly, it’s none of hers or anyone else’s business so I have to get her off my case.
I knew breaking up with Ashley was going to be a problem, and I hate to say it but she’s pretty much as insecure as they come.
So I say what I have to in order to hopefully get her to just drop the whole thing.
“I’m not into her. Just like you said, she’s like my kid sister. That would be weird, Ashley.” I wince internally when I think about what I just said knowing how harsh it sounds.
I’ve never really viewed Cadence as if she were my kid sister, despite what people might think.
I might care for her as if she were my own family, and I might feel protective over her like she means as much to me.
But that’s never truly been the case. It can’t be.
Not when I look at her and everything seems to fall into place for a moment.
Not when she consumes my thoughts the way she does.
Ashley smirks at me, but she doesn’t seem too convinced. I’m not sure if I really care to convince her otherwise, she’s going to believe what she wants but I don’t have time to say much else before another female voice chimes up behind me.
“Say cheese!” And before I know it, Ashley is wrapping her arms around my torso as she smiles toward the person standing in front of me, holding their phone camera in our direction.
Ashley’s friend, Carissa, snaps a photo of us and I groan when I realize that it’s likely to get posted on one of their Instagram stories soon.
Just what I need. I politely unwrap Ashely’s hands from my waist and look at her.
"For the record," I start. "I'm not into you, either.
It's over Ashley. Please leave me alone," I tell her before I walk away, irritated as hell.
I don’t really know how to be mean to girls. It’s not something I would feel comfortable doing. Which is probably why Ashley keeps coming around, because I’m not being assertive enough. But I broke up with her months ago and I wish she would just move on.
We dated for about six months, unfortunately.
It was something I kind of got pressured into doing, to be honest. When Brayden started noticing that I was zoning out more and he thought it had to do with school and football.
I told him I was starting to feel the pressure of everything which was kind of true but really, I was actually starting to crush on his sister.
It was becoming a problem. And at the time, Ashley kept trying to shoot her shot so as fucked up as it was, I knew that dating her would get the focus off of Cadence and that Brayden would stop bothering me about why I kept getting distracted.
It wasn’t supposed to last as long as it did.
Hell, it wasn’t supposed to happen at all but I just didn’t know how to break it off with her, until finally she gave me a reason.
I can't say I've ever been grateful I got cheated on, but in this instance, I didn't mind at all. I’m not proud of my decision to string Ashley along and I would have found a way to break it off with her eventually. I mean, I never really liked Ashley. And not only that, but I just felt numb to the idea of dating anyone. Giving my heart to anyone else just sounded like more heartbreak than anything. Another reason why I know that what I’m doing with Cadence is probably not a good idea. I just don’t know how to stop.
I make my way back through the house, needing to get some air.
But unfortunately, the birthday boy spots me again and pulls me into the kitchen where he and a few of the guys are starting a game of beer-pong.
He tries to get me to be his partner, but I decline.
Opting to stand on the sidelines and watch these idiots make a fool out of themselves while I wait over here and stress about what the hell it is I’m doing with my life.
An hour flies by; Brayden and the boys are now out back throwing each other into the pool as others hang around and dance to the music while chatting amongst their groups.
I haven’t seen Cadie since our little text exchange, and thankfully I haven’t had another run in with Ashley either.
But my mood is starting to drop and my stress levels are starting to rise again.
It never fails. I can’t seem to not think about the things that aren’t seeming to go right in my life—distractions can only last so long.
“Yo, bro. You good?” I look over to see a very wet Brayden walking my way.
I’ve always been pretty good at masking my emotions, leaving people to guess what I’m thinking or feeling. But I guess it just so happens that when you spend nearly every day with someone, they start to see through the bullshit.
The last thing I want to do is burden him with my problems though, especially on his birthday.
And to be completely honest, I don’t think Brayden would really know how to handle the shit I’m going through.
Not that he hasn’t had struggles of his own but I feel like what I’m going through gets a little more complicated than what I’m willing to actually divulge and I wouldn’t expect him or anyone else to understand, so it’s best to just keep it bottled up.
“Yeah, man. Just kinda tired,” I lie. But really, that’s not much of a lie.
I am tired. But it’s kind of bone deep; not just body tired but maybe a little mentally tired too.
I don’t know how to explain it. It’s why I’m constantly working out, trying to keep myself distracted from feeling too exhausted even when I feel like I have no real reason to be.
“Well, you can head out if you need. Don’t have practice for once tomorrow so you can even sleep in if you want to.
” He lightly slaps me on the back, and I appreciate his gesture.
But I know that going home to sleep isn’t as easy as it may sound.
I’ll be up for hours just overthinking every little thing until the only thing that can pull me under is my nightmares.
I smile at Bray, just as he’s about to turn and walk away.
But then a light commotion takes place behind him, and that’s when we both turn to find his sister storming off through the doors and up the stairs, presumably toward her room.
She looks angry, or upset and I almost chase after her, but I have to stop myself.
“Is she okay?” I ask Brayden, wondering if he knows why she’s upset, worry caressing me.
“Who knows…” he trails off as he peers around to see if he can spot anyone that might have caused his sister to become upset, and I desperately want to go after her, but I know that would set off an alarm so I do my best to stay puy.
“Hey! Ryen!” Brayden shouts and I turn my head as I watch Cadence’s best friend shoot a disgusted look at Bray. She walks our way anyway but stops before she gets too close.
“What the hell do you want?” she shouts at him over the music as she crosses her arms over her chest.
“Damn, Elvira. Just wanna know what’s wrong with my sister,” he says, trying his best to ignore the attitude she’s obviously throwing him.
Ryen turns her head slightly, now pointing her heated glare at me. If Brayden notices it, he doesn’t react and I act clueless as we wait for her to respond. Because I really am clueless. What the hell did I do to earn the daggers she’s shooting at me right now?
“Just some jerk. That’s all,” she states in a tone of irritation before she stomps past us and disappears into the house after Cadence.
Bray turns to me and shrugs his shoulders. “I didn’t even know my sister was talking to anyone,” he says and my stomach drops. Not only is she kind of talking to someone, but that someone also happens to sort of be me.
Guilt swarms me, but Bray doesn't seem too concerned about the fact that his sister is upset over a guy. A jerk, as Ryen put it. Now would be a great time for me to tell him to go check on her. Or for me to suggest that I should go check on her. I mean, this kind of thing falls under the pact of protection, does it not? But I miss my chance when one of the guys from the team calls Bray’s name.
“I’m sure she’ll be okay,” he tells me before he walks away.
Meanwhile, I’m left wondering what the hell Ryen was trying to hint at, clearly having made it a point to stare at me while she said the word jerk.
But is Ryen even aware that Cadie and I are . . . talking? Of course she is, they're best friends. They tell each other everything.
The irony of that thought hits me and again and another wave of guilt washes over me.
And that’s when I remember . . . the photo that Carissa took. It must have already been posted just as I suspected and sure enough, when I click into Instagram, the first thing I see is the snapshot of me and Ashley, her arms wrapped around me.
Fuck. That doesn’t look good.
I decide to head into the house, thinking of how I can make my way upstairs without anyone noticing, but then my phone chimes.
It’s a text from Cadence.
Why is Ashley here? Why was she all over you?
Whoa, Cadence. Is that why you stormed off so suddenly?
Listen, I didn't know she was coming, swear.
It’s none of my business. Never mind.
It can be. You know I want nothing to do with her.
I was blindsided by that photo, I swear.
I only know what you tell me and what I see. And she was all over you.
Okay first of all, I told her to get off me. Second, I am telling you now that I want nothing to do with her. We broke up months ago.
So then why did she show up with you at my house the day you got back from camp.
I knew this question was coming, and quite frankly I can’t even really explain it. I don’t know why the hell we picked her up but I tell her the truth, knowing I don’t have anything to hide.
We were driving to the house and saw her on the side of the road. Her car had broken down. Bray suggested we give her a ride back and that was that. She came with us to the house and then I took her back home right after. Nothing happened.
Well, whatever you’re telling her, she’s not doing a very good job at taking the hints.
If this is why you’re upset, I can fix it.
There’s nothing to fix, Zach. There’s no reason to. You’re Bray’s best friend. End of story.
Fuck, you’re being stubborn you know that? In case you didn’t notice, I had my eyes on you all night.
I just want to go to sleep, please.
Please don’t be upset with me.
I’m not.
Let me come up.
You know that’s not a good idea. That’ll cause more problems.
She’s right. Of course she is, but I can’t stand the idea of her being upset with me over this.
The last thing I want to do is hurt her, and it seems I’ve already headed down that road just as I suspected I would.
Maybe it’s a sign that I should just do the right thing and stop talking to her all together.
Stop taking her time and attention. Though, I find that kind of hard to achieve when she looks at me the same way I look at her.
There’s no denying that. I’ve noticed it for years.
But right now, I can’t be getting her involved in this drama with Ashey and if I’m already upsetting her this much, maybe I just need to give it up.
But I can’t deny the fact that I can't stop thinking about her and that she seems to slow down time a little every time our eyes connect.
But then I have to also consider Brayden.
Everything seems to be pointing the opposite direction of where I want to go.
So for now, I’ll let her have her space, but not without letting her know how I feel first, which could be a mistake.
Listen, you have every right to be frustrated with the situation but please hear me when I say I am done with Ashley and I only have my eyes on you.
I’ll let you have your space. But I’m sorry for upsetting you. I’ll text you in the morning.
Thank you. Goodnight, Zach.
Night, Cadence.
It's not how I want to end the night, I don't want her going to bed upset with me, but I don't have many other options right now.
I just have to let the situation diffuse itself, hopeful that she'll change her mind.
But if I didn't know before, I know now.
Cadence does have feelings for me, and that knowledge is something that could really make this whole thing that much more dangerous.