Chapter 11 Cadence
Cadence
“Everyone pull out your logical fallacies of relevance papers, please.”
The whole class groans in unison as the sound of papers being pulled out of folders swishes through the room. It’s been a long weekend and the whole first half of this Monday has seemed to drag on, but thankfully, it’s the last period of the day.
School has been kicking my ass. Who knew being a senior meant putting in the most work of your whole student career?
And on top of that, I’ve got photography after school on Wednesdays and student council starts today for about three days a week and then for some strange reason I decided to take on driving classes, starting next week.
I’m seventeen, part of very few of the youngest seniors in school but for sure the only one who doesn’t know how to drive yet.
Correction, I do think I know how to drive but I’ve never gone to test for my permit.
Not that I really need it right now, seeing as I don’t have a car yet but soon, I’ll need to drive myself to and from college and eventually, I’ll need a license for that.
Ryen agreed to help teach me but to be honest, that girl kind of scares me behind the wheel so I told her that my parents are requiring me to take classes instead. Not really a lie, seeing as they made Bray take the classes last year and it’s only fair I have to do the same.
But things have been piling up over the past few weeks and though I’m not entirely too stressed, I’m still a bit overwhelmed.
“Cade, please tell me you know what the hell she’s talking about?” I turn my head to the side as I notice Brayden leaning over his desk at me, his messy copper toned hair falling over his eyes as normal.
Brayden and I are only about a year apart but we’ve been in some of the same classes since the fourth grade.
Though he entered kindergarten before me, he got held back in third grade; something he doesn't like to be reminded about. My parents said they wanted their kids to be close in age and sometimes they joke and say that I decided to be born a whole month early—I was five weeks premature—because I couldn’t wait to meet my big brother.
But now they joke that Bray purposefully got held back because he couldn’t stand the idea of him going into middle school without me.
It worked out though either way, because I love Brayden more than anything in the world. He’s been the best big brother a girl could ask for, even if he does get a little out of hand sometimes and most days we annoy the hell out of each other.
I look back up at the front of the classroom and point to the board, the exact subject we’ve been working on all week is written in big black lettering.
“Ohhh, that,” he drags out as I shake my head and roll my eyes at him.
You'd think for someone whose grades depend on whether or not he gets to play football every week, he'd be more attentive.
But then again, I don't think Coach really cares.
Without Brayden on the field, the Timber Wolves don't really stand much of a chance. He truly is the most valuable player.
“You’re taking me home right?” I ask, whispering to him while the teacher continues to speak to the class. “I have student council after school and I think Ryen works.”
“Yeah, but Zach drove me,” he answers and I feel the way my body tenses up. “You cool with that?”
“Ye-yeah. Why wouldn’t I be cool with that?” I stutter. I don’t mean to, and he doesn’t catch it but for some reason, I find myself a little on edge now.
I turn back around and try my best not to let that piece of information affect me. I should have known, and normally that wouldn’t be a problem but It’s been over a week since I’ve last talked to Zach.
He hasn’t texted me, like he said he would, and I haven’t texted him. I’ll admit, it’s been hard and even though I didn’t really want to try and avoid him, it just kind of happened. The morning after the party turned into the next day and then it was the middle of the week and now . . . it’s today.
I don't really mean to not talk to him, in fact I want nothing more than to talk to him. But after seeing that picture of him with Ashley and the little argument we exchanged, I decided to just let it breathe. I feel embarrassed by my actions, to be honest and once I didn’t get a message from him the morning after, I told myself that I might have overreacted a bit.
I didn’t realize that liking him and talking to him would come with some kind of issues that we’ve never had to deal with before and that it might drive us further apart.
The truth is though, I’ve always been kind of jealous of Ashley.
Or any girl who gets to even talk to Zach, really.
When they first started dating, I think I spent every night that week in my room, moping, like an idiot.
But I had to get used to the idea that Zach was going to be dating girls, even though I already knew he'd had a few other girlfriends here and there previously over the years.
I think that maybe the older we got, the harder it was for me to not imagine that one day it might be me.
When the news broke that he and Ashley had broken up, something in me lifted.
I felt a little bit of relief. But there was still nothing much I could do about it because I hadn’t even decided that I was going to try and talk to him yet.
And then he left for the summer and now, here we are.
And we feel further apart than ever before.
But then I replay the things he’d said to me the night of Bray's party.
In case you didn’t notice, I had my eyes on you all night.
I only have my eyes on you.
But why? How? Since when? And if that's the case, then why hasn't he tried talking to me since then? Why are we acting like we don’t really know each other anymore? And when I see him coming down the hal, I just duck my head. It’s all so awkward and kind of weird.
I guess I had time to come to the conclusion that something about seeing that photo, whether he was blindsided by it or not, made me realize that that might not actually ever be us; being able to be out in the open like that.
And if coming to that realization hurt me that badly, then maybe it’s a sign that we just don’t belong together.
Maybe my crush for him was never meant to expand into anything more than just a silly fling I dreamt of.
I shake the thoughts from my head realizing that I’ve done nothing but overthink this whole situation. For weeks.
My phone vibrates in my pocket and I’ll admit, whenever I get a text, I do kind of hope it’ll be him.
Though, I see that it’s Ryen and my hope deflates a little but I quietly reach for it, hearing Miss Riggs still go on about undermining rational discourse and providing logical support for a conclusion.
meet me in the library after class?
I can’t, I have to go to the student council room.
oh shoot. forgot you’re doing that this year.
Why what’s up?
well… maybe I shouldn’t tell you.
Ryen.
right. well you know homecoming is like in a few weeks?
Yes… I know.
i heard that Ashley wants to try and convince Zach to take her.
Of course she would.
you need to do something about it.
What am I going to do? Tell her he’s off limits? Yeah right.
well, he is, isn’t he?
I don’t know. Ask him. He hasn’t even reached back out to me.
you told him you needed space.
Yeah… but I think I might have ruined things. I definitely overreacted.
you don’t know that. but I really think you need to talk to him.
And say what? Sorry I freaked out on you last weekend but do you want to go to homecoming with me?
i like your style.
What? No, Ryen. Absolutely not.
okay but maybe talking about what happened last week might be good.
Idk Ry. I’m starting to think it’s best we don’t complicate things.
no. i’m sorry girl but i’m not going to allow you to give up on this dream you’ve had since you were like eight. i still remember the first time you told me his name. it was in your eyes. he’s your soulmate.
Okay, overnight lover-girl. Where the heck is my Hades at?
exactly. i’m Hades, you’re Persephone. you’re the one who should be all lover-girl and here you are giving up hope because of one minor inconvenience.
and before you say anything… yes I know Persephone is not a love goddess or whatever but I think it fits so sue me.
I chuckle at her message, which causes me consequence.
“Miss Castle. Care to share with the class what’s got you so distracted over there?”
I spring my head up, the teacher is glaring at me. And I realize the whole class now has their eyes on me as well, my brother included. Shoot. How long had I been texting Ryen?
“Umm,” I start, never having been in this situation before. “It was nothing. I’m sorry. It won’t happen again,” I say as I attempt to lock my phone screen and put it away but that doesn’t seem to satisfy her.
“Uh huh. I’d like for you to read the last text message in your phone to the class, please. Maybe we can decide if it was worth the distraction.”
My face heats, I can feel the blush cover my skin.
There’s no way this is happening right now.
I've never been the center of attention and certainly not like this. But I don’t have it in me to beg otherwise.
So I reluctantly lean over and grab my phone once more, opening up the text thread between Ryen and I.
I silently read the last text, and a sigh of relief washes over me when I see that it doesn’t really divulge too much of what we’d been talking about.
“We’re waiting,” Miss Riggs says and I take a deep breath before starting to read the text.
“Exactly. I'm Hades, you’re Persephone. You're the one who should be all lover-girl and here you are giving up hope because of one minor inconvenience. And before you say anything . . . yes, I know Persephone is not a love goddess or whatever, but I think it fits so sue me.”