21 #2
He said again, his voice as cold as the Oslofjord, a??You wona??t leave. You wona??t decide what it is I must want or not want. You will cease telling me what I must feel, both toward you and toward my family. You will not leave, Mirana. You will obey me now and always.a??
She said nothing, merely looked at him, then away, to her fingers that were fretting with the wool blanket.
Hea??d spoken honestly to her, yet he hadna??t, for there was too much here, too much that was beyond him as yet, and beyond her as well. She would do as he told her. For a while, at least.
a??You dona??t trust me,a?? he said, and that surprised her, for surely she trusted him more than he did her. a??Nay, dona??t shake your head. I dona??t know you well, but trust I understand. I understand the feel of it in another, the smell of it, the expression of it in anothera??s eyes.
a??You will rest until you have your strength back. You will not leave. I will hear no more about it from you. I am protecting Entti, so you will not throw her up to me again. You will not have her as an excuse to escape. Her honor is now safe, as is Haftera??s manhood.a??
He left her then. The rest of the afternoon passed very slowly. Far too slowly.
She slept and ate for the next two days.
Rorik spent less time with her, as if knowing she needed to be with her own thoughts.
But she wanted him to come into the sleeping chamber.
Just to see him, to watch his mouth as he spoke, to feel his hands on her when he lifted her on the pillow.
At night, he was close, his breathing deep and even, beside her throughout the night. But during the day he stayed away now.
His mother, Tora, was a different matter.
The following morning, it was Tora who brought her porridge, topped with rich honey.
a??Will your belly like this?a??
Mirana was salivating. The smell of the porridge and the honey filled the small chamber.
She was pushing herself up on the bed, her eyes on that bowl.
a??Oh, aye,a?? she said, then saw the look on Toraa??s face.
She stilled, now uncertain. Tora said, her voice impatient and cold, a??There was no one else to bring you food. If you want it, take it.a??
a??Thank you.a??
Still the woman didna??t leave. She sat on the end of the box bed, silent, watching Mirana eat the porridge. Mirana took the last bite, sighed deeply, and leaned back against the pillow, closing her eyes. a??It was delicious.a??
a??The child, Utta, made it for you. She said you liked the way she seasoned the porridge.a??
Mirana nodded. She said nothing, merely waited. Would Tora ask her to leave again?
a??Sira has decided she will take Hafter. He is a good man. He will treat her well. He also looks a bit like Rorik and I suspect that is another reason she will have him.a??
a??I see,a?? Mirana said.
a??They will wed soon. Sira will leave with him to the mainland.a??
Mirana was silent.
a??I thought you should know.a??
a??Thank you.a??
a??Rorik will bathe with you on the morrow. I told him I would see to it, but he insists. He says only he knows how hot you like the bathing water and how cold you like the rinsing water.a??
She couldna??t hold back the words. a??But I thought you wanted Sira to wed Rorik.a??
a??Rorik said he had no wish to wed her. That he would never wed her. It is done.a??
Tora left then, no more words between them.
The next day Rorik did indeed take her to the bathing hut.
She was still very weak. Indeed his gentleness made her feel even more helpless, something she hated.
He washed every bit of her, his large hands slick with soap, gliding over her back, her buttocks.
He even had her balance herself with her hands on his shoulders whilst he washed her feet.
He was matter-of-fact, saying nothing even as he held her against him with one hand, his other hand going between her thighs to bathe her there.
She wished by the end of it that he would yell at her so she could yell back at him.
Instead, he merely rinsed her off, doused her with a bucket of icy water, then wrapped her up warmly and carried her back to the sleeping chamber.
He combed her hair then left her.
He returned within five minutes, striding like a warrior into battle, frowning ferociously. Anger burned bright in his eyes. His jaw was working. Muscles corded in his throat. He looked ready to kill. Mirana brightened.
a??It must be your doing,a?? he said.
a??And just what is my doing?a?? Ah, her voice rose, vibrating in the still room. It felt good. His kindness was irritating. She was bored with her own company and tired of his continued goodwill. Now, this was something to bite into. No longer was she a helpless child.
a??Hafter just told me he didna??t want to wed Sira.a??
a??But why?a?? she asked, just staring at him, her joy at his ire momentarily forgotten.
a??He just said he didna??t wish it, nothing more.a??
a??Surely this is strange, Rorik.a??
He had the look of a man forced to swallow bitter dregs, a man who didna??t like it one bit.
He yelled at her, full strength, a??Damn you, Mirana, you know what he wants!
He wants Entti, curse both your heads! Ia??m not blind or stupid.
Hafter is as clear as the stream that flows shallow on the island.
Aye, youa??ve planned and plotted this. Youa??re a meddlesome wench and wona??t leave things alone.
Aye, and Entti is in this as well. Ita??s all a womana??s plot.
Thata??s why shea??s refused him and beaten him and kicked him. I wona??t have it, Mirana.a??
She grinned up at him, a taunting grin, full of mockery. She felt marvelous. She felt strength flow through her. She watched him rise to the bait. He actually shook his fist at her.
a??You listen to me, woman. You will tell Entti that shea??s to take him into her.
Shea??s to let him sate himself on her body.
Then he will be free of her and her damned wiles.
Then hea??ll whistle and straighten his trousers and leave her without a backward look.
Then everything will go as I have planned.
He will wed Sira and we will all be free of her, and I do want to be free of her, do you understand me?
I want that damned violent woman out of here! a??
She continued to grin and keep quiet. She drummed her fingers on the blanket, waiting, ever grinning.
There was a strange chomping sound. She believed it was Rorik grinding his teeth.
a??Mirana, I wona??t have it!a??
She chose her words with fond disregard for peace.
a??Ah, I was just remembering how you told me that you would protect Enttia??s honor, how you would keep her safe so that I would not have to worry about her.
Your vow did not last long, Rorik. Like other men, you make promises and scatter them to any willing female ears, then you break them just as easily, when it suits you.a??
a??This is different and I know you see the differentness of it.
You are merely being stubborn; you are merely enjoying yourself at my cost. You are enraging me, I see it clearly now.
But I will tell you, Mirana, and you will not argue with me more, this is naught but a problem to be solved and the solution is simple and straightforward and Entti will do as shea??s told.a??
Mirana listened to him with growing joy. She was filled with such energy, nearly bursting with it, and she wanted to run and dance. She threw off the woolen blanket and swung her legs over the side of the box bed.
a??Wait! What are you doing? Get back into bed, I wona??t have you ill again.a??
a??Rorik,a?? she said, grinning shamelessly up at him, a??you want me to speak to Entti.
I will speak to her now, oh aye, I certainly will.
This differentness, I am certain she too will understand it well.
She is sometimes slow in her thinking, but I will explain it to her carefully and at full length, giving her all your reasons and your mana??s logic.a??
a??I will get her and bring her here.a?? He said nothing more, merely leaned over, grabbed her legs and swung them back into bed.
He covered her with the blanket. Then his hands stilled.
He looked at her silently for several moments.
a??You look as healthy as a stoat,a?? he said slowly.
a??There is color in your cheeks, your eyes are sparkling. I dona??t understand this, Mirana.a??
a??I am pleased to see you, Rorik. Therea??s nothing more to it than that.a??
a??Why?a??
She cocked her head to the side.
a??Why are you happy to see me? That rings not of any truth I know. I think youa??re lying.a??
a??You please me,a?? she said simply. a??I like to hear your voice, whether ita??s dark with threat or filled with laughter.
I like to see you smile or frown or just stare at nothing.
I like to see you stomp about when youa??re irritated.
That I like particularly. You have been too consideratea??not at first, mind you, just of latea??and it has grown wearisome.
But even that I can bear, if it be only rarely. I just like to see you. Just you.a??
That took him off guard. He frowned and straightened. He stared down at her from his great height. He would never understand her, never. a??You would have preferred that I yelled at you when you were retching up your guts?a??
a??Oh no, but this tenderness of yours, Rorik, is rather like a father or a brother would treat me. Or a mother. You are a man, a strong man, and as I said, to see you furious, to see your face turn red with anger, why, that does please me. It brightens my spirits.a??
a??You say nothing that makes sense to me.a??
a??Perhaps not,a?? she said, and smiled at him.
a??I will fetch Entti to you now. You will speak sense to her, and not this morass of words that vex me even more. You will see that she obeys me.a??
a??Very well,a?? she said, crossed her hands over her stomach and smiled at his departing back, rigid with outrage and distrust of her motives.
Ah, but shea??d been tired of his endless kindness, the low-voiced gentleness that made her grit her teeth, for shea??d known he was thinking other thoughts deep down, far more important thoughts for him, for her, for both of them together, yet hea??d held them in, showing her only restraint and moderation, and the gods knew how irritated shea??d become.
But now he was angry and his brow had flared upward, and his jaw had worked in his anger, and it had pleased her enormously.
It was odd how life could be so very bleak one moment and make one want to burst with laughter the next. Odd, but it was so.