7. Chapter Six
Chapter Six
Lisette
I watch my phone ring again and again until it goes to voicemail. My shoulders sag in relief and I open my car door to escape upstairs, but she calls back.
Sinking into my seat, I bring my phone to my ear and decide to get this over with.
“Five missed calls is a bit much don’t you think, Ana?” I rest my head back as I stare up at Sire’s apartment.
“Oh, sorry. Were you sleeping off a hangover? I know 3:00 p.m. is usually when you’re getting out of bed.”
A scoff escapes me, but I refuse to let her words hurt me. “You don’t know anything about me. Don’t be so bitter you missed out on growing up with such a great person.”
She lets out a humorless laugh on the other end. “I know you well enough. You’re the same girl who only came looking for your family for money so you could do whatever drug it is you’re on now. You’re just an addict.”
I open my mouth to counter but nothing comes out.
“Right.” She voices and I can hear the smile in her voice. “I saw your messages with Harmony. You think sex is an appropriate conversation to bond over with a teenager?”
I roll my eyes at her words and I nearly hang up on her, but I have enough built-up anger to last me two lifetimes so I keep the line open.
“She’s old enough to know how babies are made and if you read the conversation you would’ve seen the part where I told her she should wait to have sex with him.” I tap my steering wheel as I try to rein in my anger.
“I also read the part where you told her about sex toys and lube ?” She nearly shouts and I lose it.
“Oh my god, stop being such a prude. She’s turning eighteen soon. I told her to wait, but she’s persistent about not wanting to. Did you want me to take her phone away and yell at her for wanting a regular teenage experience?”
“That’s not a regular teenage experience. She’s not you , Lisette. She doesn’t need to have sex at such a young age.”
I can’t help but laugh at her words. “Now I’m a whore. Wow, it was really great catching up with you.” I almost hang up but instead go on. “Did you stop and think about why she suddenly wants to sleep with this boy? On the day she’s supposed to go hang out with your bitch ass mom.”
She doesn’t answer.
“She’s looking for an escape and when she told you she wanted to hang out with me instead of you and your mom, what did you tell her? You said no, and now she’s resorting to male validation, and why? Oh! Because your dad’s a bitch too.”
“At least they’re here. They’re trying to do better.”
Unlike me, she doesn’t say and I give up.
“You’re her guardian, Ana. I don’t have to deal with this shit.”
She lets out a scoff at my words. “Yeah, I’m her guardian because I’m the one who stepped up for her while you ran and you’re running now.”
Harmony shouts on the other end for us to stop fighting and they go back and forth, but I don’t say anything else as I end the call.
Storming out of my car, I head up to Sire’s apartment. It isn’t until I’m in the elevator that her words hit me. She’s the one person that can make me feel truly worthless.
Every inch of my skin feels disgusting and I’m crawling out of my clothes as I step out of the elevator.
Sire’s door is ajar and when I step in, my eyes land on Isabelle’s smile as she talks to Sire and her dad. My heart only sinks at the reminder of her tutoring session.
“Lissy!” She rushes over to me and I muster a smile.
“Hey, kiddo.” I glance over at Sire and immediately, his face drops as he closes the distance between us.
“What happened?”
I shake my head in response before Isabelle pulls my hand.
“You have to see my test score.” She pulls her bag off her shoulder.
“This was the weekly spelling test we were practicing for?”
She nods excitedly as she ravages through her folder. Sire has officially passed her on to me for her tutoring and we’ve been working together for the last few days. I didn’t mind since she’s a good kid and easy to work with, but I mentally cannot sit and work with her today.
I feel Sire watching me, but he doesn't say anything as Isabelle holds up her test to me.
“Three out of five?” I look down at her before offering a high five. “Nice job, kiddo. We’re going to aim for a four next week.” I try to add as much enthusiasm into my voice, but she barely notices the lack of it as she gets distracted with Athena, who walks over to lick her face.
“Sire is going to work with you today, okay?”
“Okay.” She giggles as the dog licks her hand.
“What?” Sire takes a step towards me. “You’re not staying?”
I shake my head before turning to leave, but Jackson is standing there.
“What happened?” Jackson voices now.
Keeping my eyes down, I simply walk around him, but I only make it two steps before I notice he’s following me. “Were you crying?”
“Why do you care, Jackson?” I press the elevator and keep my eyes forward, but I feel his gaze on me.
“Is it illegal to care?”
I don’t answer and he’s quiet for a beat before he says, “Is it just Jackson now?”
I let out a tired breath as I turn to him. “What do you want from me?”
His eyes scan my face before his brows slightly furrow. “Nothing.” He shakes his head as he takes a step back, the teasing tone nowhere in sight. “I was just trying to make you feel better. Thank you for helping Belle study for her test. I would appreciate it if you’d continue tutoring her until her next assessment in December, but if you’d rather not, I understand.”
I roll my eyes as I turn to the elevator. “I didn’t say I was going to quit tutoring her. I just can’t today.” The doors open and I don’t bother waiting for his response as I step in.
I press the button for the lobby. My mind is finally blank as I walk to my car, but every step feels so pointless. Slipping into my car, I take out the small bottle of liquor Sire gave me last week.
I stare at the liquor in my hand, clutching it like a lifeline as the need for a drink becomes nearly suffocating. I’m about to twist the top off when Ana’s voice rings in my head. I go still as I soak in anger rather than despair.
“I’m not just an addict,” I tell myself, but I don’t believe it.
Resting my head back, I keep my eyes on the liquor as my mind starts to go numb.
I snap out of my thoughts when I get a text and I only check it because the ringtone tells me it’s one of my siblings.
Biggest Loser
I know you’re not okay. I can reschedule Isa’s tutoring if you need a meeting.
No, don’t reschedule with her. She looked so happy to see you.
She was happy to see you too.
A smile touches my lips. but I don’t even consider going back up there.
I’ll go to a meeting on my own. Don’t cancel on her.
He likes the message and I call the one friend I know will make me feel an ounce better. After a few rings, she answers.
“Did you call me by accident or are you in grave danger?”
I roll my eyes at her and I really wish she could see my face right now. “Hello to you, too, Bay.”
She laughs on the other end. “You sound like shit.”
I let out a groan as I put her on speaker and start the car, not wanting to be in this space anymore.
“Damn, that bad?”
“Yeah,” I admit. “What are you doing right now?”
“Honestly? I was going to go play our favorite game of Fate.”
I let out a laugh as she voices our game where we sit in a bar on a bad day and if a guy offers to buy us a drink, we say fuck it and relapse because at that point it’s just fate .
We’re both very aware of how bad that is, but we only ever go and actually drink on very dark days which was only once for each of us. A huge part of me wants to join her, but I refuse to let Ana be right about me.
“Come to a meeting with me.”
She lets out a groan on her end and I can’t help but laugh.
“Let’s go play Fate instead.” She sounds excited, but I can hear the hurt behind her joking tone.
“If you come with me I’ll spill the recent tea about Satan.”
She lets out a gasp now. “Bio family drama? You should’ve led with that.”
I stifle a laugh and I’m truly grateful for friends that can make me forget about how badly I want to throw my life away.