28. Chapter Twenty-Seven
Chapter Twenty-Seven
Lisette
“W henever you want to let go will be great.” I tap Sire’s back, but when he doesn’t laugh, my heart somehow sinks further. All of my limbs are weak like I’m being weighed down by wet cement, but I muster up a smile anyway.
“Will it make you feel better if I say I didn’t mean to overdose?”
He pulls away and looks at me, clearly trying to decipher if my words are true. “Did you?”
“Will it make you feel better?”
“Did you?”
I look between his eyes and he stares back at me, eyes red with tears, like his life depends on my answer. I shake my head softly and in the corner of my eye, Jackson and Vidia let out a breath of relief.
I don’t bother asking how either of them are here and instead keep my gaze on Sire because I can’t face Jackson. This was the one part of me I didn’t want him to see. A couple of days ago, I so desperately wanted his lips on mine and now I want him to forget I exist.
“I don’t have the energy, so don’t fight me, Lis.”
I look at my brother, my eyes widening as the thought of him admitting me crosses my mind.
“You’re going to stay with me and Vid for a while.”
I let out a breath of relief at his words. “No, I’m—”
“I just said we’re not fighting.” He stands from where he is on my bed. He glances over at my nightstand, his jaw clenching. “Since when did you start fucking smoking this shit?” He swipes everything off the table and I jump at his outburst, his voice nearly bouncing off the walls.
He runs his hand down his face as he calms his breathing. “The ambulance is on their way.” He breaks the silence. “When you’re discharged, you’re coming home with me.”
He doesn’t let me reply as he storms out. “I need some air.” He walks out and I decide to fight with him later.
Vidia pulls me in for a hug next, and when I hear her sniffing, I hug her back before whispering in her ear. “Tell him I’m sorry.”
“He knows you are, baby.” She holds me tighter, kissing my shoulder. “But you need to be the one to say it and you need to accept his help.”
She pulls away and my eyes cut down to my bed sheets. Vidia takes my hand, but I keep my eyes low as she starts. “He’s not going to sleep if you don’t come home with us, Lis. If not for yourself, then do it for your brother.” She squeezes my hand and I nod in return, knowing she’s right.
I feel Jackson watching me, but I keep my eyes on my bed as I pull on a loose piece of thread.
“What happened?” Jackson asks so quietly that I almost don’t hear him.
I glance over at him and the broken look in his eyes has me looking back at my bedsheets. “What do you mean?” I don’t know why I whisper, but I do.
“I mean the last time I saw you, you weren’t exactly doing well, then you just disappeared for a week, so I need to know what happened.”
I see him shaking his head in my peripheral.
“Was it something I said? I tried to help, but I didn’t know exactly what to do.” He shakes his head as his eyes fall on the ground. “I should’ve called someone.” He keeps his voice low and I swallow the lump in my throat. I glance up at Vidia and she gives me a single nod before standing.
“I’m going to go find your brother.” She kisses my forehead before walking out.
I watch her go and glance at Jackson again before looking back down. It isn’t until I hear my front door shut that I speak up. “It wasn’t you,” I quickly clarify. “Thank you for that night and thank you for not telling anyone, but I was just having a bad night. The need for this…” I glance at the pills on the floor before shaking my head at myself. “I slipped today because it felt like I had no other option, but I truly didn’t mean for it to go this far,” I say, trying to believe that myself.
The room is quiet for too long, so I look over at him, and he’s still watching me.
“I wasn’t lying.”
I feel my brows furrow at his words. “What?”
“You have an escape with me. I’m not trying to be your knight in shining armor, but if I can offer you a few hours of bliss, why didn’t you just come to hang out with me?”
I look between his eyes before shaking my head at him. “I didn’t want to be a burden, JJ.”
This time, he shakes his head at my words. “You’re not.”
“Aren’t I though?” I gesture around the room, to what he just walked in on. “What are we doing, Jackson?” My voice is stronger now and his brows furrow.
“What do you mean?”
“No, what do you mean? You said you and Belle can be my reason to get out of bed, what does that mean? You’ll be my friend? Because the jealous act you just pulled doesn’t make me think that’s what you want.”
“And you never talk to me like friends is what you want.” He pushes off from the wall. “Did he touch you?” His eyes darken as he studies me.
I let out a scoff at his words. “What does that matter?”
“It matters a great deal considering you were unconscious .”
I roll my eyes at what he’s making this out to be and quickly clear the air before he gets my brother involved who is bound to drag our parents into this. “I invited him here for the pills. I was already wearing this and he went to shower, hence him being half naked. I smoked, and you guys walked in a few minutes later.”
He watches me carefully. “So you just let strangers use your shower?”
“I never said he was a stranger.” Ben is who I get my pills from. Yes, we’ve slept together in the past, but that’s irrelevant. “Why do you care so much?”
“You’re the one asking what we are,” he shoots back. “Why ask if I can’t know who you’re sleeping with?”
“Because you shouldn’t be here, Jackson,” I snap.
He looks hurt, but I don’t take my words back.
“Thank you for caring. Thank you so much, but look at your life and look at mine,” I deadpan. “You and Belle can’t be my reason to stay. I don’t belong in your life, friend or not, and who I’m sleeping with is none of your concern because we’re not together and shouldn’t be.”
He shakes his head before letting out a scoff. “Don’t do that.”
“I’m not doing anything.”
“Yeah, you are. You’re pushing me away when you don’t need to.”
Yes, I do. The last few weeks with Jackson have been bliss, but I can’t do this; not when hurting them is inevitable.
I hear him let out a defeated breath before he closes the distance between us. “My kid loves you, and I’ve been told she’s a brat, so you’re stuck with her. We’re kind of a package deal, so there’s no pushing me away.”
“You two shouldn’t like me,” I state flatly, desperately trying to get him to stop. To leave me before it gets uglier.
“Well, we do, so sue us. We have a great lawyer.”
A smile touches my lips and I shake my head at him, but he holds my chin, dragging my eyes up to his. “Why is it so hard to grasp that you’re likable?”
“I’ve been told overdosing on a Tuesday afternoon isn’t a likable trait.”
A somber smile touches his lips. “It’s Wednesday, sweetheart.” He sounds hurt as he tucks a hair behind my ear but I pull away again.
“What do you want from me, Jackson?”
“You. Just you.” He reaches for my face but I don’t let him.
“What does that mean ?” I push. “Because you’re looking at me like you want more than what I’m offering.”
His brows furrow before his eyes fill with clarity, but I still say it plainly for him.
“I can’t be a mom to her, Jackson.”
He leans back. “I’m not asking you to.”
“What would I be to her if we dated?” I go on before he can answer. “Or is the plan for us to be fuck buddies until her exam comes in December, then we go our separate ways?”
He lets out a scoff as he stands from the bed. “Is that your plan?”
“It’s the easier plan,” I force out.
“Is that what you think I meant when I said I wanted you?” He looks between my eyes. “You think sex is the reason I asked you out? Called out of work and moved all my meetings around just to spend the day with you? To get my dick wet?”
I know that’s not why he wanted me around, but any other option scares the shit out of me.
When I don’t answer, he goes on.
“So you don’t want my kid in your life?”
“That’s not what I said,” I counter.
“It is though,” he argues. “I would never ask you to take that responsibility, but don’t sit here and act like my daughter is the reason you won’t give us a chance.”
“She is.”
He takes a step back as if my words physically hurt him and I realize that came out wrong. “Fine.”
“Jackson—”
“No, you’ve made yourself abundantly clear. I don’t want to be with someone who doesn’t want my daughter a part of their life.”
“That’s not what I meant.” My shoulders sag.
“Well I meant it,” he bites out. “I don’t want you.”
I let out a scoff at his anger. “Really?”
“Really.”
“So why do you keep looking down at my underwear like you can’t fathom the thought of me sleeping with the man you just threatened?”
Before he can reply, there’s a heavy knock on the door. Jackson covers my lap with the blanket before taking a step away from me as the paramedics walk in with my brother.