29. Chapter Twenty-Eight
Chapter Twenty-Eight
Lisette
I keep my eyes on my iPad, ignoring the way my brother is staring at me from across the hospital room. In the corner of my eyes I can see Vidia tell him something, but with my headphones on, everything around me is perfectly silent.
She reaches for his hand, but he pulls away from her touch. My curiosity gets the better of me and I subtly press the button on my headphones, turning off the noise canceling.
“She’s not okay, Vid.” He shakes his head. “Please stop saying that. I know you’re trying to help, but—” He cuts himself off.
I keep my eyes on my screen as I draw, trying not to let on that I can hear them.
“You haven’t left this room since we got here,” she says gently, and I can make out her figure in the corner of my eye as she crouches in front of Sire. The twins only just left, but he’s against leaving the building.
“It’s been three days, baby,” Vidia continues. “I know you want to be here for her, but you need to be there for yourself. We’ll be back in an hour tops. Please come home.”
He covers his face with his hands, and when the guilt begins to eat at me, I turn my hearing back off.
It isn’t until I finish my drawing that I notice someone shuffling in my peripheral. Looking up, my brother stands by the door talking to Jackson. I let out a defeated breath as I pull my headphones off.
“I’m sure ,” Jackson reassures my brother of something.
In front of them, Vidia seems to be holding her breath as she watches Sire. After a beat, he nods and her shoulders sag in relief.
“Thank you.” She takes his hand before the three of them turn to me. Vidia smiles brightly as she gives Sire a light push.
He clears his throat. “I’m going to go shower and stuff.” He watches me carefully. “I can bring you back some food. Just text me what you want.”
I shake my head in return. “I’m not hungry.”
Beside him, Vidia’s shoulders slouch as she looks up at her boyfriend and I can see from a mile away as his worries come back.
“Actually, I’ll have fries and a milkshake. It doesn’t matter where you get it from.”
A smile touches Sire’s lips for the first time in days before he walks out with Vidia.
I watch them leave before I drag my eyes to Jackson. In one hand is a bag, and in the other he holds a bouquet. I don’t need to see them to know they’re not real.
“You’re scared of hospitals,” I remind him.
A smile touches his lips. “Yeah, well, there’s a hot girl down the hall that I really needed to see. You happen to be rooming fairly close to her.”
For what feels like the first time all year, I genuinely laugh.
He takes a step into the room, but I stop him from closing the door.
“It needs to stay open,” I say, shame coating every inch of me.
His brows furrow as he turns to me.
“They’re worried I’m going to… do something.”
Understanding covers his face before he nods. “Does it need to stay open?”
A smile touches my lips at his silent question. I softly shake my head and he nods in return before shutting the door. He lifts the bag in his hand as he closes the distance between us.
“Our pottery stuff was ready.” He sits beside me before taking out our vases, and they came out beautiful. “I was thinking we paint them here and I drop them off?”
I smile in return but only nod quietly.
He gestures to my iPad. “What are you working on?” He puts the vases away as I turn my drawing to him.
His eyes focus on the siren and pirate. “They look madly in love.”
I smile. “This is like one of those projective tests.” I shake my head as I look back down at the drawing and I can only see the siren’s dark eyes and harsh webbed fingers wrapped around the man she drowns. I shift my head, trying to see it in the loving way Jackson does. I start to make out the way her lips on his neck might seem loving, although she’s about to rip out his throat.
Shutting off the device, I tap the pen against the screen in thought. “You never updated me on Belle’s school.” I let my eyes meet his. “You know, after you yelled at them.”
He visibly cringes. “I didn’t yell, ” he attempts to correct me. “I called back and apologized…”
“Oh my god.” I look up at the ceiling before meeting his guilty eyes.
“I also suggested I speak with their boss, and both Dean Carmen and Ms. Rose agreed to only call me for emergencies and update me on her progress at parent-teacher conference.” He rolls his eyes and I smile at how much he reminds me of his daughter. “Hopefully, I won’t be hearing from them again.”
I nod in response before my gaze drops. “I wasn’t expecting you to visit me.” I keep my eyes on the bed.
He’s quiet for a second, but I see him nodding in my peripheral vision. “I took a couple of days to think, then I decided I wanted to talk to you.” He shifts beside me, and when I steal a glance at him, he sets the flowers aside before turning to me.
“I didn’t mean it when I said I didn’t want you,” he starts. “I was hurt and offended, so I was being mean, but I didn’t mean it. I apologize for losing my temper. You didn’t deserve the way I spoke to you.”
I bite my tongue as he continues.
“When you came over for pumpkin carving, and I told you I wanted you, there was not one single sexual thought in my mind, Lissy.”
I turn to him now, my words flying out of my mouth. ”I want your daughter in my life.” I get straight to the point, voicing what I’ve been wanting to say for days now. “I just don’t want to ruin this,” I admit quietly. I’m also scared of hurting her the way I was hurt by the woman who brought me into this shitty world.
As he sits in front of me in a hospital room under my current circumstances, I realize not many men would show up for me the way he did even after the messy parts were on display.
I’ve lost countless relationships for what I am; an addict. A disappointment. A liar at times.
Jackson doesn’t see that though. He’s smiling at me right now and I know he doesn’t see all the shameful pieces of me. Just the tiny ounces of good.
I don’t know when it happened, but I realize now as I look into those gray eyes that I want to keep looking into them. I want to keep him around and the fear of that realization nearly makes me want to cry.
“So what does that leave us with?” His smile widens.
I shrug. “My mommy issues. My daddy issues. A brat I love and her hot dad.”
He stifles a laugh and I smile at his one dimple. His big eyes settle on mine before his smile slowly fades. “We don’t have to figure it out right now.” He shrugs. “I just didn’t want you to spend another day thinking you were unwanted. Especially by me.”
His words mean more to me than he knows, but as I open my mouth, a pain settles in my stomach. Sinking into my seat, I cling to my abdomen, silently cursing the aftermath that comes with relapsing.
“What’s wrong?” Jackson quickly rises to his feet.
I shake my head at him as I bury my face in the side of my pillow, waiting for it to pass. Pulling in a breath for strength, I shift in the bed. “The lack of drugs is just making my body hate me,” I mumble, trying to be grateful that the throwing up stopped.
Another pain hits and Jackson shifts me so he can lay beside me. He wraps his arms around me and I bury my face in his chest as a groan escapes me.
“Is there anything I can do?”
I shake my head in response, suddenly hating that he’s seeing this part of me. “You can go, Jackson…”
“I’m not going anywhere, sweetheart.” He kisses the top of my head and I let him hold me.