30. Chapter Twenty- Nine
Chapter Twenty- Nine
Lisette
“L et me out of this damn house, Sire.”
He sits on his couch comfortably while his guard dog does her job and literally guards the door at his command. “Athena, heel .” I try to get her to move.
She looks over at Sire before looking at me and huffing in defiance. I reach for the handle but quickly pull away when she growls at me.
“I’m not scared of you,” I whisper to her, but when she barks at me, I take an intuitive step back.
“What was that?” Sire calls out and I turn on my heels.
“I’m being serious, Sire. Like, I might actually start crying. I need to get out of here.”
He turns in his seat to focus on me, but I’m not kidding. “Maybe you need to cry it out.”
“I’d rather die, which you witnessed,” I remind him and he flinches at my words. I let out a defeated sigh before walking over to him. “I’m sorry… that was fucked up to say.”
His eyes meet mine and the look on his face only make me feel worse.
“I swear I’m not going to do anything,” I promise him. “I just need air.”
“So let’s go on a walk together,” he suggests.
I roll my eyes at what he’s doing. I want to be alone and he knows that.
“You’re going through withdrawals,” he reminds me.
I don’t answer him. Instead, I bury my face in one of his pillows.
“I’m not an idiot, Lisette. You want to get high and that’s understandable, but you can leave next Wednesday. We agreed you’d stay for two weeks.”
“Forget what I said at the hospital,” I say into the pillow and if he understands me, he chooses not to answer.
While the withdrawals aren’t as bad as they were in the hospital, my body is still angry with me and I feel like shit. The only upside to today is that the physical pain stopped. “I fucking hate oxy when I’m not on it.”
My words only remind me how much better I’ll feel on it and I sit up to look at Sire. “Please—”
“No, but thank you for asking nicely. I was really dreading the bitchy, scary, ‘I want drugs’ Lisette.”
“Oh, I’m sure she’ll come out to say hi later,” I reply while flipping him off, and a smile grows on his face, but I’m too irritated to even attempt to smile.
I let my eyes fall shut when I feel my tears of frustration building.
“Can we stop fighting about our Thanksgiving plans? You’re coming with us to Florida.”
“Shut up , Sire. I’m not going over there. I don’t even know Vidia and Hazel’s family.” My leg starts shaking as my irritation grows and he stops trying to convince me of the same thing he’s been trying to convince me of all day.
He’s leaving for Florida tonight since Thanksgiving is in two days, but I already told him I’m not going.
I remind myself that it’s just the withdrawals pulling at my emotions and harsh attitude, but I can’t bring myself to apologize, so we sit in silence.
When I hear the door opening, I look over and Vidia walks in with a smile. She looks over at Sire before smiling brighter at me. “How are you feeling?”
I stare at her for a beat before closing my eyes and choosing to use the last bit of patience I have to ignore her.
I’ve been here for five days and I only left three times, which was to go to a meeting with Sire, who’s my new babysitter. I know he’s worried. I understand that, but I can’t breathe.
Jackson came over with Isabelle twice for our tutoring, but besides a hi and bye, Jackson barely spoke to me since my siblings are hovering like a fucking—
I cut off my thoughts as I feel myself getting mad.
They’re hovering like concerned siblings, I tell myself and remember to be grateful that August and Sage finally decided to put an end to the three-day streak sleepover. I adore them, don’t get me wrong, but I hate hovering, especially while my body feels like it’s eating me from the inside out.
Then Harmony has been texting me off the fucking rails. I haven’t seen her in a while, mainly because I was MIA from everyone and getting high, but I also don’t want to hear her bullshit. I love her, I really do but I love her, not her mom and her sister. I just want to be left alone.
She keeps apologizing for the shit show and I told her countless times it wasn’t her fault, but she’s convinced that’s the reason I’m avoiding her. It’s not, I just can’t face her and tell her I relapsed.
I take in a deep breath and use the next few minutes to meditate. Just as I start to appreciate how silent the house is, a phone starts ringing. I shake my head as I open my eyes and I realize it’s my phone.
When I see Jackson’s name, I feel my brows furrow. I grab my phone anyway and bring it to my ear. “Hello?”
“Hi, Lissy.”
My heart aches at the sound of Isabelle’s sweet voice. I open my mouth to greet her but have to clear my throat before trying again. “Hello, my sweet girl.”
“Daddy said you’re busy, so I took his phone because I suspected he was being a fibber since you’re never busy for me.”
I bite back my laugh. “That’s very true. What’s up, baby?”
“Daddy has a meeting and wants to cancel tutoring because you might not be feeling well. The meeting is here in our office and he can’t drive me to you.” She pauses and I imagine her rolling her eyes. “You can come here, right?”
“I sure can.” I sit up in my seat.
“Perfect.”
I hear Jackson call out to her in the background before he asks her if she’s seen his phone. She stifles a laugh before speaking up again.
“Okay, hurry.” She ends the call before I can reply and I can’t help but laugh at her.
Sire looks over at me and is already shaking his head. “Lis—”
“Stop, Sire. Please, okay? Yes , I do want to go get high. You’re right, but right now, I want to see Isabelle more than that, so I’m going to get ready and go read and maybe bake with her for the next three hours.”
He studies me and I can see he wants to continue to hold me hostage here, so I continue to convince him otherwise.
“I’m supposed to be finding new coping mechanisms and getting back into my routine. Turning to healthy outlets when I get the urge to throw it all away,” I remind him and I know he knows I’m right.
“Fine.” He gives in. “But I’m dropping you off,” he adds.
I roll my eyes at him but agree. “Fine.”
“And picking you up.”
“Oh, my god.” I shake my head at him as I rise to my seat. “I overdose once and all of a sudden I can’t do anything on my own.”
I turn to him, waiting for him to laugh, but when he watches me with that look, I somehow just realize that’s exactly what he’s doing.
“Oh, my god .” I keep my gaze on him and as if he just read my mind, his eyes cut down to the ground. “It was an accident. I don’t need to be on suicide watch.”
He doesn’t say anything and him not believing me really does hurt.
“I swear it on the twins’ life, Sire.” I desperately try to get him to believe me.
“Okay.” His eyes meet mine before he nods. “I’d still feel better if you let me drop you off.”
I only nod in response and leave the room to get ready, no longer having the energy to convince him I’m fine.
The entire ride to Jackson’s house is silent. It isn’t until we pull into his driveway that my brother turns to say something.
“I know you’re hurt that I’m being overprotective. You feel like I don’t trust you, but I think you can understand where I’m coming from.”
I nod in response, and we sit in silence before I turn to him. “Just tell me if I broke all your trust.” Tell me if you lost all hope in me.
He quickly shakes his head. “You didn’t. I trust you, Lis. I’m just scared and being around you keeps me from relapsing.”
I study him, trying to decide if I believe him.
“I swear it on the twins’ life, Lis.”
“Okay.”
He nods and when his eyes get glossy I quickly look out my window.
“You know I’m sorry, right?” My voice is just above a whisper.
“I know, Applejack.” His voice comes out strained, like he’s struggling to keep it together. I almost tell him that I saw my bio mom and it nearly killed me, but a lump too big grows in my throat, so I remain silent.
“Can you please spend Thanksgiving with me and Vid’s family?” He sounds beyond desperate now.
I nod in return, blinking away my tears. Pulling in a deep breath, I climb out of the car.
I don’t hear Sire drive off and I know he’s waiting until I’m inside. I try to convince myself that he always does this, and it’s his way of being a good older brother. That he’s not waiting to make sure I go inside because he doesn’t trust me and thinks I’m going to leave to get high.
I ring Jackson’s door and after a minute, he opens it. Our eyes meet and he looks surprised to see me.
“Hey, hot stuff.” I slip past him and I don’t miss the smile that creeps onto his face.
“Hey, I didn’t know you were coming over.” He shuts the door. “I misplaced my phone and didn’t get to text you. I was going to reschedule tutoring. I have a meeting and didn’t think you were up for driving.”
“Sire drove me,” I answer as I walk further into the house.
“Surprise!” Isabelle throws her hands in the air and behind her on the kitchen counter are balloons that read feel better and get well soon , along with a crocheted pot of flowers and what I’m assuming is an apple pie. “Did I surprise you?”
She’s practically jumping with joy as she turns to get the crocheted pot of tulips. I turn to Jackson, but his brows are furrowed.
“We were going to take this to you tomorrow, but I guess I know where my phone went.” He turns to his daughter who has a precious guilty smile on her face.
I stifle a laugh. “Yeah, you did surprise me.” I don’t need to fake my smile as I close the distance between us to take the gift from her. “Thank you, sweetie.” I kneel down to give her a real hug and she almost knocks me over as she throws her arms around my neck.
Wrapping both arms around her, I dip my head in the crease of her neck and breathe in her sweet cherry scent. She squeezes me tighter before kissing my cheek.
“Well, you look like you feel better. When we went to visit you at Uncle Sigh’s house, you didn’t look so good.” She shakes her head, her eyes slightly widened in concern and I break into a laugh.
“I really appreciate your honesty.” I kiss her cheek before holding her tighter so I can stand while carrying her and she wraps her legs around me.
When I look over at Jackson, he’s already watching us with a smile. He looks in awe as he watches me carrying his kid.
I quickly look over at the counter to the apple pie. “Did you make this?”
Isabelle nods excitedly. “The first one got burned. It was Daddy’s fault, but I chose not to fire him.”
I stifle a laugh, and when I glance at Jackson, he rolls his eyes.
“Well, thank goodness you’re so forgiving. He really needs this job. I’m sure he would’ve been on the streets if you let him go.”
Jackson lets out a loud laugh from beside us before taking a step closer and leaning over to kiss his daughter’s cheek. He’s so close, I can smell him. Fresh laundry and a smoky cologne engulfs me, but I don’t step away. Not even when he stands at his full height and looks down at me. He just stares at me with a smile and I feel the corner of my lips tug upwards as he watches me like I’m all he wants.
There’s a knock on the door and he rolls his eyes in annoyance before tucking a hair behind my ear. “She’s right, you do look a lot better.” He leans down and places the softest kiss on my cheek. He walks away before I can respond, and when I hear the door opening, a second later, a loud voice fills the house.
I rest Belle on the counter because she’s getting heavy and before I can ask her about her day, a voice speaks from behind me.
“Well, hello ,” someone drawls.
I turn to see a man only a little shorter than Jackson. His hair is buzzed, and bleached blonde. I quickly realize he’s Jackson’s client. He’s hot and looks young, which explains the bratty attitude Jackson is always complaining about.
He glances over at Isabelle before his smile lands on me. “You must be her mom.” He goes on before I can correct him.
“Her dad told me you two weren’t together.” He closes the distance between us, takes my hand, and kisses the back of it. “I’m Rome, like the city.”
“She doesn’t care, like the rest of us,” Jackson answers from behind him.
I narrow my eyes as I focus on him. “How old are you?”
A smile grows on his face. “I can be however old you want me to be.” He takes a step closer.
I stifle a laugh as I pull my hand away.
Behind him, Jackson lets out a groan. “He’s nineteen, but we’re having him tested because he might’ve been swapped with a nine year old.”
Rome glares at Jackson as if he just blew his cover.
“Well,” I start. “I’m afraid you’re fifteen years younger than I like my men.”
His head snaps back to me, but I go on before he can open his smart mouth again.
“And I’m not her mom.”
“Oh, well even better,” Rome replies and I feel my brows furrow.
“Why would that be better?” Belle speaks up now. “Why doesn’t anyone want to be my mom?”
I turn on my heels to face her. “ What ?”
Her shoulders are slouched as she looks between all of us and my heart sinks.
“Go to my office, Rome.” Jackson shoves him out of his way before walking to Belle. “That isn’t true, baby.” He cups her small face in his hand and she looks up at him.
“Yeah, it is. I don’t have a mom and Ms. Rose doesn’t want to be my mom. Even Mia doesn’t want to be my mom. Mia is great… What did I do?”
I have no clue who Mia is but I lift her into my arms again. “You’re the best kiddo, Belle. If someone doesn’t want to be in your life, it has nothing to do with you.”
“Yeah,” Jackson joins, kissing her head. “And Rose and Mia can’t just be your mom, baby. That’s not how it works.”
“So how does it work?” She looks between us and when I look at Jackson, it’s clear he doesn’t have an answer, so I step in.
“Well, you already have a mom. Everyone has a mom because when we’re babies, we’re in our mommy’s tummy, then we’re born and we’re here. So you have a tummy mommy, but she’s not here and that’s okay. If you get a second mommy, your dad has to get married and that’ll be your mom.”
It’s clear this makes perfect sense to her as she lights up. “Daddy, you should marry Mia!”
Jackson stifles a laugh, and I know whatever this is wouldn’t work. I know that and I don’t want to explore whatever’s pulling us together only to disappoint them, but still, jealousy begins to sprout within me at whoever this is.
Jackson takes his daughter from me to carry her. “I can’t marry your ballet teacher, penguin.”
I force a smile on my face as I ruffle her hair. “Your dad is also pretty ugly and smelly, so I don’t think he’ll ever get married.”
Isabelle covers her mouth with her hand as she giggles.
“You don’t need a second mommy.” I kiss her cheek. “Your dad is all you need.” I feel Jackson watching me, but I keep my smile on Belle and continue to convince myself that I’ll never fit in their perfect picture.