33. Chapter Thirty-Two
Chapter Thirty-Two
Jackson
W hen Lisette left, a part of me thought she was running away and never coming back. It’s why I made her take my car, forcing her with a reason to come back, but she did and it was clear she just needed space to clear her head.
We’re baking cupcakes in the kitchen, and while Isabelle hasn’t called her mom again, I can tell Lisette is holding her breath around her. I’m still kicking myself for letting her catch us and I think I lied well enough, but I know I’m in for a hundred questions later.
It’s not that I don’t want her to know about us. I just rather burn alive than let my little girl get hurt. Whether that’s her dreams being crushed or her physically getting harmed. Lisette is not in a good mental space right now and I’m aware that she just needs support, but I refuse to let my daughter get caught in the crossfire as we explore our feelings for each other. We need to be incredibly certain before she gets involved.
“Should we add the glaze to them?” Isabelle looks between Lisette and me.
I focus on Lisette and she watches the cupcakes like they’re suddenly the most fascinating thing on Earth.
“Hello?” Belle waves her hand between us.
I answer her as I keep my gaze on Lisette. “I think we should wait until Thanksgiving and everyone can decide if they want glaze or not.” In my peripheral, I see Belle nod in thought.
“What do you think, Lissy?” I ask.
“Uh-huh,” she mumbles.
Stepping around Belle, I walk towards Lisette, but she backs away. “You seem distracted,” I tread lightly.
“I’m not,” she counters.
“You okay?” I dip my head to catch my eyes with hers.
She looks at me for a moment before nodding and I hold myself back from kissing her worried face.
“You sure?” I ask quietly. “Because if I pushed too far then—”
“You didn’t.” She shakes her head in return. “I need to stop standing in the way of my own happiness. I’m trying this.” She seems to be repeating after someone, and I realize she must’ve called one of her girlfriends on her drive.
At the sound of the door ringing, I’m pulled away from her pretty face.
I’m not sure who I was expecting, but when I open the door to find Sire, I go still.
His brows furrow as he watches me. “Why are you looking at me like you’ve seen a ghost?” He steps around me and I change my face.
“I wasn’t.”
“You were. Is my niece okay?”
I pull in a deep breath as I watch him look around the house. “Yeah, she’s great.” I clear my throat and I feel so damn guilty now. All of a sudden Lisette in my bed is on the front of my mind as I watch her brother.
“You should have that housewarming party the twins were trying to convince you to do.” Sire nods in approval as he gazes at my high ceiling.
“You know,” he starts, a smirk on his face now. “Technically my talent is to thank for this house of yours.”
I let out a scoff as I shove him and head for the kitchen. “You arrogant bitch,” I mumble and he barks up a laugh from behind me.
“You’re welcome for signing you as my agent,” he teases.
“No, asshole, you’re welcome.”
He laughs from behind me again, and this time, I can’t help but join.
Turning the corner, I enter the kitchen and Isabelle’s entire face lights up as Sire whips around the corner behind me.
“Uncle Sigh!” She hops down from the stool and behind her, Lisette’s brows furrow as she looks between me and Sire.
She focuses on me again, asking a silent question and I slightly shrug before turning to her brother.
He lifts Isabelle into her arms before throwing her in the air and clapping between each catch. It took me a very long time to not freak out when he does that, but Belle’s smile eases my nerves. Their laughs fill the kitchen and I only feel worse because he’s going to be so damn mad at me when he finds out my tongue was down his sister’s throat while my fingers were in her.
Belle lets out a gasps, pulling me out of my thoughts as she squirms out of her uncle’s arms. “I need to show you the turkey we made in school.”
He lets her down and she takes a step before pausing, her finger in the air. “I need to use the bathroom first, then I’ll show you my art.” She runs upstairs, leaving us laughing behind her.
Sire turns to his sister. “Our flight leaves soon, we should get going. You still need to pack.”
I look over at Lisette and I see the realization cross her face as to why he’s here.
“I forgot to call you.” She shakes her head at herself. “I’m not going.”
Sire lets out a breath and I can’t tell if he’s disappointed or mad. “Lisette, can we stop fighting about this already? You agreed you’d come earlier. Why do you want to be alone for Thanksgiving?”
“It’s not that I want to be alone.” She shrugs. “I just really don’t want to be around V’s big family. I love her, but she made it seem like it’s going to be a big party and I don’t have it in me to smile for strangers.”
He lets out a defeated breath and they go back and forth for a minute before I step in.
“You can spend Thanksgiving here.” I shrug.
They both glance over at me, Lisette shaking her head. “That’s okay.”
“So you’ll come?” I push.
She gives me a knowing look that I ignore. “Thanksgiving is a family holiday.” She trails off, silently reminding me of my words from before, but Isabelle won’t question her being here.
“It’s family and friends,” I correct her. I glance over at her brother for support, but his brows furrow as he looks back over at Lisette and I watch as his eyes give her a once over.
“Why are you in his clothes?”
I turn to Lisette and try to think about anything else to keep the blush off my face.
“She fell in the pool.”
“I fell in the pool.”
We speak at the same time, and Sire simply nods once before turning back to me. “You didn’t need to invite her over, she can spend Thanksgiving with Vid and me.” He shakes his head now, as if I’m doing him a favor, but it only reminds me of his worry for her and I know what he meant.
“I know I didn’t.” I shrug again. I almost add that I want to spend Thanksgiving with her and I’m sure that sounds innocent, but the guilt in the pit of my stomach is afraid he’ll see right through me.
Sire looks like he’s thinking before he shakes his head. “No, just come with us. I’m going to be gone until Monday.”
“Although my depression doesn’t let me do it often, I’m capable of feeding and bathing myself, Sire,” she tells him, and I can hear the annoyance in her tone, although she clearly tries to conceal it.
“But—”
“Sire,” Lisette deadpans. “We’re not fighting about this. Especially not in front of him. I’m fine. I can be alone. I’m not going to do anything.”
They watch each other, having a silent conversation.
“I swear it on the twins,” she bites out and I can see Sire about to give in, but worry flashes through his eyes, adding to his hesitation.
“She can stay here until you get back,” I suggest.
“What?” Lisette shakes her head. “ No .”
“Why not?” I turn my full attention to her, offended by her tone.
“Because I don’t need a babysitter.”
“What’s with the attitude?” I ask, and she rolls her eyes at me. “Lisette,” I warn.
“Don’t Lisette me.” She rolls her eyes again, turning to Sire with her arms crossed. “I’m going home and I’ll be back here on Thanksgiving if I feel like it.”
“ If you feel like it?” I question before her brother can, disappointment seeping into my voice.
“I’d feel better if you stayed here,” Sire voices, nodding in agreement with himself.
“I don’t care how you’d feel,” she counters.
“Stop being like that,” he throws back.
“No.”
I step in again. “Why are you being so difficult?”
“You’re a man. You deserve no peace.” She rolls her eyes before turning to her brother. I can see her anger growing and it’s clear now this is more than her just sleeping over. “You said you trusted me. Making your friend watch me does not feel like that.”
When I see a gloss covering her eyes, I feel my face soften.
“It was an accident!” Her voice breaks now and I go still.
“Lisette—” he tries to start.
“Whatever.” She blinks her tears away, picking up her phone as she aimlessly scrolls. “I’ll spend the night here until you get back, then I’ll go to your house where you can watch me until Wednesday like we discussed. Have a safe flight.”
I look over at her brother and he lets out a defeated sigh, his shoulder slouching. “Can you come outside so we can talk?”
“Have a safe flight, Sire.” She turns on her heels, walking to the back of the house.
The room feels thick and when Isabelle walks in, she raises her brows. I have to bite back a laugh and shake my head, silently telling her to stop.
Her brows rise again before she shrugs. “I’ll go check on her,” she says as she pivots.
Sire lets out a defeated sigh as he runs a hand down his face. “She doesn’t get it.” He shakes his head at himself.
“Get what?”
“Everything.” His eyes meet mine and he looks torn. “If she found me like that—” he cuts himself off before trying again. “I feel like I can’t breathe when she’s not near. My brain keeps replaying images from how we found her and it’s suffocating . Having her in my sight is the only thing stopping me from looking for an escape at the bottom of a bottle.”
I go still, knowing this is the first time he’s ever opened up to me about his addiction. I realize now how badly this is really affecting him.
He takes in a deep breath and it’s like he can breathe better with that off of his chest. “Sorry,” he mumbles, running a hand through his hair.
“Don’t apologize,” I reassure him. “I think you two need to talk, but not tonight. Emotions are too high. I’ll keep an eye on her, but if she says she doesn’t need to be watched, then she doesn’t need to be watched.”
“You really believe that?” he nearly whispers.
I study him for a beat before shrugging, honestly not knowing what she needs.
“I’m not going to stand here and act like I understand what either of you are feeling, but I was there, too. While my relationship with her doesn’t hold a candle to yours, I was scared, too, but when she was standing here a second ago with tears in her eyes, begging you to believe her, I did. If she says it was an accident, then that’s what it was. I completely understand not trusting her. I don’t think she’s fine either, but you need to approach her in a different way because clearly this isn’t working and you’re only going to push her away.”
It looks like a hundred thoughts run through his head as he lets my words sink in. After a beat, he nods, but he’s clearly still lost in thought.
“Call me if anything.”
I smile at his words. “Nothing is going to happen. I got her.”
He smiles as if half of his worries were shaved off and there goes the guilt again because it was my selfish need to have her near that made me suggest she sleepover, not to put him at ease.
“I appreciate it, man.” He closes the distance to hug me and I feel like the worst friend ever because the only thing on my mind is whether or not Lisette will be in my bed one of the next five nights.
“It’s no problem,” I force out.
Sire lets out a breath before he pulls away. “Let’s go find the brat.” He walks off and I follow behind, biting my tongue so I don’t confess like a damn sinner.
Calm down.
He trusts you with her, the more rational part of me says.
I shake my head of my thoughts and follow Isabelle’s voice to the backyard, where we find both girls with their feet in the pool.
“Hey,” Sire starts gently and while Isabelle turns with a smile, Lisette keeps her eyes forward. “You can either hug me goodbye or get pushed into the pool.”
Lisette doesn’t answer until Sire takes a step toward her.
“If you push me, I’m drowning myself, and you will be going to jail.”
A laugh escapes Sire and Lisette turns with a small smile before rolling her eyes. “I’m not hugging your ugly ass. Just go.”
“Get up.” He ignores her and their interaction makes me wish I had siblings.
“Sire—” She doesn’t get to finish her sentence as he pulls her up by the arm and hugs her. She keeps her hands at her side as he wraps his arms around her head. After a second, he takes her arms and forces them around him before hugging her again.
He whispers something in her ear and I nod for Isabelle to follow me so we can give them a minute.
“Lissy said Uncle Sigh is an asshole.”
I let out a defeated sigh and choose to ignore her, but I feel her watching me.
“Why is he an asshole ?” She pushes her limits and I stop in my tracks as I look down at her. “I won’t say asshole again,” she says through a yawn, and I bite back a laugh when she isn’t looking.
I follow behind her before she turns to me.
“I’m so excited for Thanksgiving.” She smiles at me like her entire day is made.
I scoop her into my arms when I notice how tired she looks. I hug her close before kissing her. “So am I.”
When she yawns again, I set her on the couch to watch a movie, knowing she’ll fight her sleep if I send her to bed. I’m cleaning the kitchen when a set of footsteps sound through the house. When I look up, Sire has his arm wrapped around his sister’s shoulder and she has her arms crossed like a brat.
“She promised to be on her worst behavior, so good luck,” Sire announces before Lisette shoves him away.
“Leave before I piss you off.”
Sire rolls his eyes at her before hugging her goodbye. He offers me his hand next for our handshake. When he looks for Isabelle, we find her falling asleep in the living room. I walk Sire out, and by the time I come back, she’s somehow sleeping while sitting upright.
I pick her up and kiss her nose. “My sweet baby.” I kiss her again and when I look up, Lisette is watching me with a smile.
“You’re such a good dad.” She shakes her head like she can’t believe it.
“Why’d you say it like that?” A short laugh escapes me.
She shrugs. “There’s not a lot of good parents in this world. I’m glad she landed with you.”
Her words force a weight on my chest as I look back down at my daughter and I hold her a bit tighter. “I’ll never understand how anyone couldn’t be a good parent.” I shake my head at the thought. “She’s so easy to love.”
When I look back up at Lisette, her somber smile is on Isabelle and I catch my words.
“I don’t mean you weren’t easy to love as a kid,” I quickly corrected myself. “How your parents treated you isn’t a reflection of you.”
She smiles, but it seems forced now and I feel myself deflate.
“I’m sorry.” I shake my head at myself and her smile seems genuine now.
“Let’s ignore that last ten minutes and go back to the heated kissing.”
I let my eyes fall shut, a smile growing on my face. “Did you say that so you weren’t the only one who felt uncomfortable?”
“Woah there.” She puts a hand up. “Too specific. How’d you know that?”
I break into a laugh before forcing myself quiet when Belle shifts under me.
I nod towards the stairs. “Let me show you where the guest room is.”
She follows close behind me before speaking up again. “Aren’t they all guest rooms?” she teases.
“Well, I have one reserved for my parents, but yeah, technically. You can pick any room you want, but they’re not all fully furnished yet and I was going to give you the one with the fully stocked bathroom.”
Lisette is quiet, and when I steal a glance at her, she’s already looking at me. “Why can’t I share a room with you?”
I face away from her compelling eyes. “Because we’re not sleeping together.”
“I said yes to you?” She sounds utterly confused as I set Isabelle in bed. I tuck her in before kissing her. Lisette steps beside me, kissing her cheek as if it were a habit, and I can’t help but smile at my girls.
She turns to me, her brows furrowed and I’m drawn back to our conversation.
“I’m aware of that,” I start again as I pull Isabelle’s door shut and Lisette follows close behind me. “But Sire reminded me that you’re not okay and I don’t want to have sex until you’re in a better head space.”
She lets out a scoff. “You are aware that you nearly fingered me in the same headspace, right?”
I give her a knowing look. “I was thinking with my dick and proving a point. This is different and after you came here all sad and looking to fuck it out, it showed me you do that when you’re hurt. I want to have sex with you when you aren’t looking to escape.”
We step in front of the room she occupied last time and she glances between the door and me. She watches me for a beat. “You’re too much of a gentleman.”
“Thank you?” My brows furrow at her tone and angry face.
“And too polite.” She rolls her eyes.
I bite back a smile before turning more serious. “I think Belle will bring up marriage again if she knows you’re sleeping here, so we need to figure out how we’re hiding this.” If she hadn’t caught us, she probably wouldn’t bat an eye since she loves sleepovers, but the idea of Lisette being her new mom is still fresh in her mind.
She shakes her head before her shoulders sag. “I can go home.”
I stop her from stepping around me, the look on her face telling me she doesn’t want to be alone. “I promised your brother you’d stay and I’m aware you don’t need a babysitter, but just stop fighting us.”
She rolls her eyes again.
Taking a step forward, I kiss her gently. “She has school tomorrow and we’ll be out of the house before you’re awake. We can just act like you’re arriving early in the morning the next few days and you’ll say bye to her when I put her to bed.”
She lets out a scoff. “This is so dumb.”
When she opens her mouth again, I shut her up with a kiss. “You don’t want to be my dirty little secret?” I tease.
A smile grows on her face as she looks up at me. “I won’t mind if I get to sleep with you and there was a secret worth keeping.”
I give her a once over, but step away before I can change my mind. “Good night, reina.”
She turns on her heels, but I notice the small smile she tries to hide.