49. Chapter Forty-Eight
Chapter Forty-Eight
Lisette
I stare at myself in the mirror, convincing myself that I have everything under control.
“I’m not throwing my life away,” I tell myself again. I nod in agreement before turning to leave. When I trip over something, I quickly catch my balance.
Glancing down at Isabelle’s shoes, I blame that on my bad balance rather than the alcohol coursing through me.
“Belle!” I whip around the corner just as she does and she crashes into me so hard, I stumble back. “Woah there, tornado.”
I steady myself before catching her. “Are we okay? Do we have all our limbs?” I pat her down before patting myself and she lets out a sweet laugh.
“You called?”
“I sure did.” I hand her the shoes in my hand. “Didn’t Daddy tell you to pick up your shoes?”
“Can’t remember.” She shrugs, snatching the shoes from me.
“Mhm,” I hum. “Go put those away.” I push her away.
“Can I go in the pool?” She smiles up at me and I can’t say no to that face.
“Yeah, go change. I’ll meet you downstairs.”
She races off and as I walk downstairs, I hold onto the rail carefully.
It takes me nearly five minutes to compute how the retractable pool cover works. When Isabelle instructs me to the keypad on the wall in Jackson’s office, I get the code right on the first try as I put in his daughter’s birthday.
Sitting by the pool, I kick my feet in the water as I lay back on my elbows.
The last few days have been so peaceful. When I go out and waste the night by getting drunk, I wake up feeling like shit. But now, with just small sips to keep the thoughts at bay, it feels good. It feels good to have control.
Isabelle races past me and with my fingers in my mouth, I whistle at her like a lifeguard would. “Walk!”
She breaks into a laugh as she jumps into the pool and I watch her, a smile plastered on my face as she splashes about.
“You should get in.”
“No, thanks, kiddo.” I kick my feet to splash her and when she splashes me back, I don’t even care about my favorite hoodie getting wet. Her laugh is too precious to care about anything.
You should’ve stayed sober for that laugh.
My smile slowly fades as the guilt seeps in.
You’ve been drunk the last four days. You’re going to scar her like your mom did you.
I quickly rise from the pool edge, needing an escape.
“Watch my pirouette.” Belle shows me her ballet skills and I watch with a forced smile before I need air.
“I’ll be right back, babe. Stay in the shallow end.” I rush into the house before she can reply. In the living room, I find the water bottle I’ve been refilling with the liquor bottle I bought and hid in my car.
I feel like I’m dripping in dirty shame every time I go out to my car to fill my bottle, but a few sips take it away. Now I feel disgusting as I stand in Jackson’s house, drunk.
The tears prickle in my eyes and I quickly down the rest of the liquor before a lump grows in my throat. I gag after swallowing too much at once, but I keep it down.
Sitting on the couch, I wait for the liquor to drown the thoughts.
Jackson
“I don’t know what you want me to tell you, kid,” I tell Rome, my phone pressed to my ear as I walk into the house.
“I would love for you to tell me the Hale brothers are going to be at my game this weekend.”
“They’re busy,” I tell him for the third time, dropping off the grocery bags in the kitchen before heading to my office. “They’ve been watching you play on TV and—”
“I look better in person,” Rome pleads.
“You sound like a teenage girl.” I roll my eyes as I walk down the hall.
“How are they always busy when I have a game?”
“Maybe they’re grown men with lives of their own? I’m sincerely sorry they’re not waiting around for when they can watch you play the thing they do for a living.”
He stifles a laugh on the other end and I roll my eyes at him with a smile of my own before walking around my desk and turning on my computer.
“Okay, here it is.” I click on the email chain I had with his coach. “I was right, like I knew I was. You don’t have a game this weekend, it’s next weekend. I honestly tried my best to get him to fold, but you’re still suspended.”
Glancing behind my screen, Isabelle’s smile catches my eye as she splashes in the pool. My brows furrow as I look over at the open keypad that controls the pool cover. Assuming Lisette guessed the easy code, I tap on the button on the wall and the window slides open.
“But Chase the assaulter gets to play? This is bullshit,” Rome mumbles and I don’t bother wasting my breath to remind him to steer clear of Chase.
“Don’t forget the press conference this weekend,” I remind him. “I have to go.”
He bids me a disappointed goodbye and I quickly end the call as I walk over to the pool.
“Hello, my little penguin.” I smile down at my daughter and I may be biased but she’s the cutest damn kid.
“Hi, Daddy.” She swims over to the edge and I lean over to kiss her nose.
Pulling away, I glance over to the patio and my brows pull together when I don’t see Lisette.
“Did you get in the pool without telling Lissy?” I turn back to Isabelle. We spoke about this a hundred times but I keep my anger at bay.
“I did tell her. She went inside.” She swims away before I can question her.
I rise to my full height but as I’m heading for the house, my paranoia gets the better of me and I turn back to her. “Sit here until I come back out, please.”
She rolls her eyes dramatically and I give her a pointed look.
“You know you’re not supposed to be in the water without an adult out here. I’ll be out in a minute. Do you want to sit on the patio or in the grass?”
She doesn’t argue as she sits in the grass, a few feet away from the pool edge. Stepping onto the patio, I quickly see Lisette on the living room couch, fast asleep.
This girl sleeps like the dead . Shaking my head at her, I slightly shift her on the couch so she doesn’t fall, since she’s barely hanging off the edge. Just as I move her, she jolts awake.
She looks disoriented as she looks up at me.
“Hi.” I smile down at her. “You fell asleep while Belle was in the pool, but since you look so tired, I’m going to save the water safety lecture for later. Just a heads up, I’m mad, so it’s going to be a long lecture.”
I lean over to kiss her, and just as I do, I go still at the smell of liquor. I pull away as I study her features.
“Tell me you’re not drunk, Lisette.” I stand at my full height, and when the guilt covers her face, my anger grows so high, I didn’t think it was physically possible. “Are you fucking kidding me?” My eyes land on the water bottle next to her. The one she’s been drinking from all day and a part of me is mad at myself for not noticing.
“Jackson—”
“You left her in the pool as you sat here drinking until you passed out?” I try to keep my voice hushed, but I don’t know how well I do at that. “She could’ve drowned .”
Lisette flinches at my volume before she rises from her seat. “I didn’t mean to fall asleep…”
I wait for her to add more, but she doesn’t.
“That’s all you have to say?”
She stays quiet and it only makes me angrier.
“I was gone for almost an hour , Lisette. How long was she in the pool alone?” I shake my head, rambling on before she gets the chance to respond. “You were just asking me yesterday if you can come over on non-tutoring days, and when I invite you to hang out with us, you’re drunk? This is the first time I’ve left you alone with her and this is how it goes?”
“She’s a good swimmer, Jackson.” When she rolls her eyes, I lose my mind.
“I don’t give a shit!” I bite out. “Pools are the highest cause of child fatalities. Did you know that? Nothing else compares to the danger of a body of water. She can drown in a fucking puddle. It doesn’t matter that she can swim. It’s the fact that she’s unsupervised that I’m mad, Lisette.”
“It was one drink.”
I let out a scoff. “Get out.”
She flinches as if I just raised my hand to hit her. I watch her open her mouth, but she doesn’t say anything.
“Seriously, Lisette. Go home and get it together. I don’t want you around her like this, especially if you’re not going to take accountability or at the very least fucking apologize. I understand—”
“You don’t understand anything so spare me.” She turns to walk away, but I grab her arm.
“Don’t walk away from me when I’m talking to you, Lisette.”
She tries to snatch her arm away, but I keep my grip on her.
“Let go of me,” she bites out.
I hold her gaze and maybe it’s because I’ve never seen her this upset, but I don’t even recognize her. I let her go and she storms out. I walk to the entrance, and when I notice she left her car keys, some hope remains.
Letting out a frustrated breath, I turn on my heels but go still when I see Isabelle staring back at me in a towel.
“I’m sorry I was in the pool without Lissy.” She keeps her gaze low and voice hushed, and it breaks me.
“Belle—”
“You didn’t have to scream at her… I was fine.”
“Penguin, that’s not why I was mad.” I take a step towards her, but she starts walking towards the stairs.
“I’m going to shower. Sorry again.”
“Baby, come here.” I quickly catch up with her and kneel so I’m at eye level with her. “I’m so sorry for yelling and scaring you. I promise I’m not mad at you, baby. I’m mad at Lisette for something else. It’s not because you were in the pool.”
Her brows slightly furrow. “But I heard you. You said I could’ve drowned… I can swim. You didn’t have to be mean to her, Daddy.”
I let out a frustrated breath before kissing her forehead. “You’re right. I shouldn’t have spoken to her like that. That’s not how we talk to our friends.” I kiss her cheek now. “But I’m not mad at you. You’re perfect and did nothing wrong.”
She smiles at my words. “Promise?”
“Always.” I hold my pinky out to her and she intertwines hers in mine.
“Do you want to swim with me?” She slowly lights back up and I force a smile as I tell her I do, but as I get in the pool with her, Lisette is the only thing on my mind.