63. Chapter Sixty-Two
Chapter Sixty-Two
Jackson
“T his is going to get ugly.” Sire keeps his eyes on Lisette’s door and I know his words are for me, but I don’t respond. “If you want to leave, you—”
“I’m not leaving. I already told you, I’m all the way in.”
He gives me a single nod and leaves it at that as we watch the door.
After a few minutes, a phone dings. We all turn to Sage in anticipation.
“That wasn’t Liam…” She gives us an apologetic look before typing something into her phone and after a minute it dings again. She shoots up in her seat and I quickly stand with her.
“That was him, she’s here.” She walks into the bedroom where Vidia and Hazel are and her twin follows close behind her.
Sire stands behind the door and I lay back on the couch, trying to look like I’m not hiding all of her loved ones in this apartment and about to bombard her. I try to get my facial expressions together, but a key is put into the door and I don’t have time to get shit together.
I pull out my phone to look casual, but I’m sweating.
The door opens and I wait a second before looking up. When I do, I notice the bags under her eyes, but I can’t tell if they’re tired bags or if she’s high.
She keeps her eyes on her phone as she steps into the apartment and Sire softly takes a step in front of the door.
When she finally looks up she seems to falter, but quickly catches herself and offers me a smile. “Hey.” She closes the distance between us and leans over to kiss me.
“Sire gave me your key, I hope you don’t mind that I let myself in.” I pull away and study her for a beat. “I haven’t heard from you in a while.” I grab her hand and she leans in to straddle me.
My hands instinctively land on her ass. When I steal a glance behind her, Sire only shakes his head at us before rolling his eyes and I try very hard not to laugh.
Lisette lets out a breath, pulling my eyes back to her. “I’m sorry… I was upset that you believed my brother over me so I was ignoring you, but I know you were trying to help.” She quickly steals a kiss. “I’m okay though.”
I feel a smile touch my lips at the sincerity in her voice, but behind her, Sire waves for my attention. He points up to the ceiling, signaling that she’s high, but when I look back at her, I don’t see it.
“You promise me you’re okay?”
She looks at me for a moment before stealing another kiss. “Yes, JJ.” She climbs off my lap before rustling my hair. “Let me feed Piglet then we can grab food.” She walks to her room and I quickly stand.
The minute she opens her door, she goes still. “What the hell are you all doing here?”
I keep my eyes on her as she looks around her room.
“Hi, Lissy bear.” Sage’s voice seems to break, but Lisette quickly turns on her heels. Her head whips to the door and when she notices Sire slouched against it, a panic grows in her eyes.
“Are you fucking kidding me?”
Sire pushes off the door, but she puts a hand up to stop him.
“We’re not doing this.” She shakes her head at him.
“We are.” Sire nods for the couch, but when August rests his hand on Lisette, she looks just about ready to lose her shit.
“Don’t touch me!” She takes a step back before putting her hands up. “No one touch me.”
“Okay.” August puts his hands up in surrender. “No one is going to touch you.”
Everyone descends from the room and Lisette continues to back away from them before she ends up in the kitchen.
“An intervention?” She looks around the room before her eyes land on mine and she looks so betrayed… just like I knew she would be. “I told you I was okay.” She shakes her head softly and I quickly take a step towards her.
“I want you to believe you, Lissy, I do. But can you look me in the eyes and tell me you aren’t high right now?”
She looks hurt at first… then her anger settles. “Let me leave.” She keeps her voice low, almost as if she were warning us.
“I appreciate that you asked nicely.” Sire smiles over at her before pulling a chair and sitting in front of the door. “But you know we aren’t going to let that happen.”
“I genuinely hate you, Sire.”
I feel myself flinch, as if her words were thrown at me, but he only puts a hand on his heart in mock pain. “You wound me, Lis.” He turns more serious. “Do you want to tell anyone else you hate them or can we start this?”
“Yeah, I do actually.” She turns to the group and I desperately want to look away, but I force my eyes to stay on her. “If you all don’t let me leave then I also hate all of you and will never forgive you for this.”
Sire laughs softly and it seems to piss her off more. “We don’t care for your forgiveness, Lisette. In a few months, it’s going to be you asking for our forgiveness.”
She starts to pace the kitchen as she realizes she’s trapped.
“Lissy…” Sage starts softly as she slowly makes her way to the kitchen. “We just want to help you and—”
“I don’t need help,” she snaps.
Sage turns her head to the side and I can’t see her face, but I’m sure she’s close to crying. “You do.” Sage sniffles before wiping her cheek, but Lisette looks as if Sage just threw up on her favorite shoes.
Navi steps forward. Sire called their AA Chair and she sent her to hold this all together.
“Lisette.” She smiles over at her and Lisette must’ve just realized her because she looks as if she appeared from thin air.
“Who the hell are you?”
“I’m Navi.” She offers her a smile.
“Get the hell out of my house, lady.” She turns back to Sire. “Who the hell is this?”
“She’s Navi,” Sire answers and I keep my eyes on Lisette, but I can hear his smile.
“Yeah, I got her damn name, dumbass. Who is she?”
Navi takes a step forward. “All of these people are here because they care about you.”
I keep my eyes on Lisette as something seems to click in her head. “You’re going to facilitate this.” She lets out a scoff before looking back over at Sire. “I never intervened you—”
“I’m counting you sending people in one by one as an intervention so yes, you have. Four times to be exact.”
“Not like this!” She takes a sharp step forward. “I never ambushed you or brought in some–some fucking stranger.” She shakes her head as she gives Navi a once over before looking back at her brother. “This fucking hurts.”
“I’m not doing this to hurt you, Lis.” Sire’s voice takes on a more serious tone. “We just needed extra support and—”
“I know how this works.” She paces the kitchen again. “I’ve been a part of these for friends. I know—”
“So you know we’re trying to help,” Navi says softly.
“I know that you’re just here to facilitate.” She glances back at us. “Which one of you is going to take charge? Who’s going to woman the fuck up and say something to me? Huh?”
I feel everyone’s eyes on my back, but I don’t say anything.
“It’s not going to be Sire.” She turns her head to the side. “That’s too predictable. I’m sure you all canceled him out and guessed I won’t listen to him.” She turns to her other siblings. “It’s not going to be the twins, they bruise like fucking peaches.”
“Lisette, we—”
“Stop talking, Navi.” She rolls her eyes before glancing behind me. “My guess is Vidia.” She shrugs. “You’ve got tough skin, care about my brother. Go ahead, V. Open the meeting, give it your best fucking shot.”
But Vidia doesn’t say anything.
“Lisette,” I say gently.
Her eyes meet mine and she must read right through me because she shakes her head softly.
“Please just listen to us.”
She looks at me before she lets out a scoff. “Fine,” she mumbles before brushing past me. She flops onto the couch with us. “I have shit to do so let’s just get this over with. Let’s go around in a circle and share what we love about Lis.” She crosses her arms as she leans back in her seat.
I glance over at my best friend and he shakes his head at her before getting up and sitting with us.
Navi is last to sit as she glances around all of us. “Let’s open the circle by—”
Lisette starts to laugh and I glance around the room, but she only laughs harder, so damn hard it seems genuine. “Open the circle? Wow, straight out of an NA meeting huh? This is going to be so much fun. Go ahead, Facilitator. Continue.”
Navi doesn’t acknowledge her outburst. “Let’s start by sharing what we did today.”
I glance at Lisette and she suddenly looks uncomfortable in her seat.
“I’ll go first,” Sire starts. “I went on a walk to clear my thoughts of how this will go because I really want it to go well.”
Lisette rolls her eyes before looking down at her nails.
“Jackson,” Navi turns to me. “Why don’t you go next?”
I swallow the weird taste in my throat before turning to Lis, but then I quickly remember Navi told me not to directly address her the entire time so she doesn’t feel attacked. I turn to Sire instead. “I dropped Isabelle off at my mom’s house.”
In the corner of my eye, I can see Lisette’s head snap up to mine.
“She gave me a hard time and was crying. She overheard that we were coming to see Lissy. She misses her, but I told her she had nothing to worry about.” I turn to Lisette and her eyes are still on me.
“She doesn’t.”
I nod. “I know that.”
She keeps her eyes on me and I desperately want to hold her, but I stay in my seat as everyone shares about their day. It mostly entails things around Lis since we spent the day worrying about her, but they’re subtle about it and no one mentions how we thought she was hurt.
“What’d you do today, Lissy?” I ask when Sire signals at me, but she looks back at her nails before picking on them.
“Nothing much.” She shrugs.
“Everyone else shared.” Sire watches her. “I think you can do better than that.”
“What do you want me to say, Sire?” Her eyes snap to him with so much rage.
“I want you to share about your day.” He remains calm.
I look back over at Lisette and she glances around the room before shaking her head.
“Nothing much,” she voices again, clearly refusing to admit to every person she loves that she was out getting high.
“Okay.” Sire leans back in his seat. “You know why we’re all here, Lis—”
“Because you love to make my life miserable?” She sits up in her seat before he can respond. “I can’t get over the fact that you organized an intervention for me. This is so fucking low.”
“I’m not doing this to hurt you and—”
“ Yes , you are.”
Every other person seems to flinch as she raises her voice.
“All I wanted was one fucking week. Just one with no responsibilities and—”
“We don’t get that luxury. We don’t get to call a timeout on our addiction, Lis.”
“You’re impossible,” she mumbles before sitting back in her seat.
Sire opens his mouth, but she beats him to it.
“Fuck you.”
“Oh, fuck me? How about—”
Vidia takes his hand as his volume starts to rise and he takes in a deep breath. This isn’t supposed to be a fight. It isn’t supposed to be us blaming her or putting responsibility on her, and I can see Sire remembers that as he looks back over at his sister.
“None of us are here to hurt you, Lis.”
“I don’t care.”
“We care about you,” he continues.
“I don’t care.”
“You do.” I step in, but she keeps her angry eyes on her brother. “You may not care in this moment, but we know you care about us and you saying you don’t isn’t going to push us away. I’m sure you also care a great deal about Harmony… or maybe Isabelle.”
She looks over at me now and it’s as if she’s never been angry a day in her life. “I know you and the girls care about me, JJ.” She sinks into her seat as she hugs herself. “My siblings don’t.”
“That’s not true,” August starts now. He’s sitting next to her and moves to touch her, but quickly catches himself. “I care about you, Lis. Without you, who’s going to piss Sire off at every chance?” He leans over with a smile to catch her eyes with his, but she turns away.
“I love you, Lisette. A lot more than you know,” he almost whispers.
“You complete our family,” Sage continues. “When the universe trapped me with a boy for a twin they also gave me the sister I always wanted.” Sage quickly wipes her tears as she focuses on her.
“Lis—” Sire attempts to voice how much he loves her.
“I don’t care what you have to say, Sire.”
He only nods before leaning back in his seat. “Good thing I don’t care about what you care about.”
“Of course, you don’t. You planned an intervention and—”
“You mean everything to me, Lis—”
“No, I don’t.”
“You do , and nothing you say is going to change that. Nothing you say is going to take away your title as my favorite person and you know that, which is why you’re picking on me, but guess what, Lis?”
She turns away from him and he gets up to crouch in front of her.
“Hurt people hurt people. You told me that.”
She turns her head to the other side again, but he grabs her face and I swear my heart gets lodged in my throat at the sight of tears in both of their eyes.
“You told me that. You forgave me for saying things to you that no one should’ve ever thought so if you want to be mean, go right the fuck ahead because it’s not going to stick. You told me you were losing faith, but I never doubted you for a minute and I know you’re going to be fine.”
Sire stands before gesturing to the rest of the group and Hazel and Vidia share how much they care about her before it’s my turn.
“The minute Belle’s mom walked out on us I decided it’ll just be us.”
Lisette glances over at me now.
“I didn’t want to bring anyone else around her. I didn’t want to give anyone else the power to hurt her or leave her.”
She avoids my eyes and I quickly catch myself.
“That was until you, Lisette. You haven’t hurt her and I don’t think you will. I still want you to be a part of our family… I still want you to be her mom and you can, you just need to get better first, but you need to let us help you.”
She wipes a tear, but it’s clear she isn’t going to look at me.
“Isabelle couldn’t be here, but she wrote something for you.” I keep my eyes on her as I pull out Isabelle’s letter. She keeps her head turned, but I can see her trying to steal a glance in the corner of her eye.
“Do you want me to read it to you?”
She shakes her head softly before quickly wiping another tear.
“Here.” I lean forward in my seat before stretching my hand out to her. “You can read it yourself.”
I watch her carefully as she swallows and turns to me.
“Did she spell it all right?”
I offer her a small smile before shrugging. “I haven’t read it.” I lift my hand and she takes it, but simply rests it on her lap.
I sit back in my seat and Navi signals for the next step, explaining to her how she hurt us. Sire explained how she can’t argue with facts and how we feel, so rather than telling her her actions aren’t good, we’re going to tell her how we feel about them.
It barely lasts five minutes before she’s up and pacing and when I see her break into a sweat, I realize she really is high, but she’s clearly coming down from it.
Sire warned me that this would get ugly, but when it does, I don’t recognize her.
“Let me out! Let me out! Let me out!” She bangs on the kitchen counter before walking around it a few more times, screaming her mantra.
“Keep sharing,” Navi whispers and Vidia nods softly before speaking over Lisette’s screams.
“You hold a special place in our hearts and it hurts seeing you like—”
“Would you stop?” Lisette finally stops yelling. “I don’t get why you’re even here, Vidia. I’m sure when you get angry with me in the future you’re going to turn around and use my addiction against me the same way you did with Sire.”
The room goes still.
“I hold a special place in your heart? Fuck off. You’re not special. The only reason my brother is with you is because your mom is a hotshot coach.”
Vidia forces a smile. “That’s not true and—”
“It is. You’re the idiot for believing otherwise and, Sire”—she turns her fierce eyes to him—“You’re even dumber for forgiving her after outing your addiction. Who even does that?”
“Shut up, Lisette.”
I steal a glance over at the couple, but Vidia is walking to the bathroom. I have no clue what she’s talking about, but I think all my questions about why Sire and Vidia broke up in college were just answered.
“Who’s next?” Lisette scans the room for her next victim. “Sage, just go now. Your tears are no help and take August with you.”
“I’m not—”
She quickly cuts him off. “You’re useless, August. An absolute pushover. You covered for Sire his entire teenage years because you felt bad .” She rolls her eyes before Hazel speaks up.
“Being mean isn’t going to do any good, Lis,” she starts gently, taking August’s hand when his shoulders slouch.
“Shut the fuck up, Hazel,” Lisette starts and my jaw slightly drops at how ruthless she’s being. “I care less what you have to say than anyone else here.”
“I don’t care about what you care about,” Hazel replies carelessly. “But I do care about how you talk to my man so watch your mouth. We’re trying to help. ”
Lisette lets out a scoff. “You know.” She tilts her head to this side. “I think this bitchy thing you got going on is just an act. You’re so much bark and no bite.”
A smirk grows on Hazel’s face. “Oh, you want to see how much bite I got?” She takes a step forward, but August holds her back. “I love you, Lis, but if you need some sense slapped into you, I’ll gladly volunteer.”
“Hey,” August speaks up. He steps in front of his girlfriend, towering a full foot over her as he forces her to look at him. “This is not what you came here for. I told you she would do this. I need your temper in check.”
They watch each other before August nods behind her. “Go find Vidia.” He leans over to kiss her and Hazel spins on her heels without a word.
“You can go too, August.” Lisette just doesn’t quit, but it’s clear now that she’s trying to get everyone to walk away from her. “You’re the reason Sire almost overdosed in that alley and—”
“Lis,” Sire warns. “Stop talking,” he bites out.
“Aww, what’s wrong, Sire?” She turns her head to the side. “You don’t want everyone else to know that you’re worse than me?” She lets out a soft chuckle before looking around the room, but not a single soul is laughing.
“You all think I’m bad now, but you haven’t seen bad because Sire is the worst of them all.”
“No one thinks you’re bad, Lisette.”
She ignores Navi. “Since we’re all sharing how hurt you all are when I’m high, let’s talk about how Sire hurt us.”
“This is about you, Lisette.”
“Stop talking!” She screams so loud that Navi takes a step back.
“No one gave Sire an intervention when he forced August to pass a drug test for him the first time, then that second time, then again when he went missing for days and let his poor brother find him nearly dead in an alley. Or again in college so he could sign with the Dodgers.”
Silence.
“Not a single fucking soul ambushed Sire when he said—” She pretends to think. “What was it? Something along the lines of throwing my suicide attempt in my face? No, that was fine because Sire is just a mean drunk, and boohoo because his childhood was so hard.”
“Did that make you feel better, Lisette?” Sire gets up from his seat now. “I can see the oxy is nearly out of your system since you’re being a fucking bitch .”
“Sire—”
“No, Jackson, she wants to be mean. We can play the mean game. Fuck you! You want to have a screaming match? WE CAN SCREAM!” He takes a step towards her, but August quickly steps in his way. “I already told you, Lis, be mean all you want, but nothing you say is going to stick. I’m! Not! Going! Anywhere!”
When no one says anything else, Lis walks for the door. It swings open, but Liam is there before she can take a step out.
“Wow.” She lets out a scoff before turning back to Sire. “You must’ve been really fucking desperate to call this guy.”
“Beloved?” Liam has his eyes set on his fiancée. “Do you want to step outside?” He keeps his voice soft, but when Sage shakes her head no, he looks down at Lisette.
“Go back inside.” He tries to grab the door, but she doesn’t let him.
“Get out of my way.”
Liam looks up at Sage and when she shakes her head, he pushes Lisette into the apartment and slams the door on her face.
“Open the damn door!” She bangs on it so hard I think she’s going to break her hand. “LET ME OUT!” She keeps screaming, over and over again as she bangs on the door and pulls the handle, but it’s clear Liam is holding the other side because it doesn’t budge.
After maybe five minutes of screaming bloody murdering and throwing herself at the door, she must get tired because she leans her head against it before slouching and falling to the ground.
“Let me out,” she whispers and it fucking breaks me.
I take a step towards her, but she grabs Isabelle’s letter from her pocket and Navi puts her hand up to stop me.
We watch her carefully as she reads the letter and when she breaks into a sob and hugs the paper I push past Navi.
“Her spelling is getting so much better.” She wraps her arms around me before breaking into another sob. “Why did she add a cupcake recipe?”
I let out a soft laugh, but quickly bite my tongue as I feel a cry bubbling in my throat.
“JJ…” She pulls away before holding my face in her hands. “I want to be her mom. I want to be with you and be a family with you.”
“I want that too, Lissy.” I rest my forehead against hers.
“So let’s leave.” She voices softly… too softly.
When I pull away she keeps her eyes on me and all that rings in my head is Sire’s warning. She’s going to say every and anything she can to get out. That she was going to pick on everyone and manipulate me.
“Do you really want to raise Belle with me?”
“Yes.” She wipes her tears before planting a soft kiss on my lips.
I take hold of her hand as I pull away. “You need to get clean if you want to do that, Lis.”
“I will,” she quickly agrees and I let out a breath of relief. I look over at her siblings with a smile, but Sire’s glare doesn’t budge and Navi still watches her as if we need this to go on for longer.
What the hell am I missing?
“Let’s just go, JJ.” She turns my face back to her before grabbing my hand, almost in a rush.
“Let’s talk about that plan, Lisette.” Navi walks over.
I turn to look at her, but Lisette turns my face to hers again. “We don’t even know that lady, JJ. Please, let’s go and we can be a family. We don’t need anyone else.”
“You plan on running away with them?” Sire lets out a scoff. “If you want to get clean, why cut off your family?”
Her family. The people who are going to notice when she’s high… when she’s lying.
I pull away from her, but she grabs my hand again. “I meant what I said, I swear. I want to be in Belle’s life.”
I pull my hand away harder as I stand. “So you need to get clean. You need to get clean first ,” I emphasize.
She scans the room, but turns back to the door as Sire walks over.
“There’s a bed waiting for you at one of the best rehab facilities.”
She keeps her eyes on the door.
“You just need to give it ninety days, but we’ll all visit you. Jackson will take Isa to see you, right?”
“Yeah…” I lie. I’m not bringing my kid anywhere near her like this. I love her and it hurts thinking about keeping her away, but absolutely not. If hearing my lies will get her to comply then I’ll voice them, but Isabelle noticed she wasn’t well the last time she relapsed and I’m not putting her through that again, whether she fully understands or not.
“Fine.” Lis keeps her eyes on the door. “I’ll go to rehab.”
I let out another breath and Sire has a small smile on his face.
She sniffles quietly before wiping her tears. She walks over to her room and I follow behind her. She heads for her turtle first and feeds him before a somber smile touches her lips.
“I’m tired of fighting.” She shakes her head, her palms pressed to her eyes. “Can someone pack my bag?” She cries quietly as she sits on the edge of her bed.
“I can do it,” the twins voice in synchrony before rushing off to her closet.
Sire steps beside her and kisses the top of her head. “You’re going to be fine.” He seems to be promising her.
She nods before she cries harder. “I’m so sorry.” She looks around the room, but no one is angry with her. “I love you all. You know that, yeah?”
“Of course we do.” Sire wraps an arm around her.
She nods quietly before sniffling, but her tears don’t stop. “I just need a minute.” She walks off to the bathroom and we leave her be.
Sinking into her bed, I bury my face in my hands. “That was torture.” I glance at my watch and we’ve been at this for a fucking hour.
“The hard part is over,” Sire replies. “For us at least.”
I nod in return and we sit in silence as we wait for Lisette to come out of the bathroom. After a few minutes, the twins come out of her closet with a bag.
“I packed her a lot of socks so they don’t make her wear those grippy ones they gave her last time,” Sage voices quietly. “She hates them.”
August smiles at her words before hugging his sister, but the sound of someone falling has us all turning to the bathroom.
I don’t hear anything else and quickly rise to my feet. “Lisette?” I knock on the door softly, but I don’t hear a response.
At the sound of choking my heart nearly stops. I shove my arm into the door, but it doesn’t give. Sire bangs on it beside me and we’re all trying to get it open before I kick it down.
Rushing in, we nearly trample over her. I feel my eyes widen as I take in her limp body on the ground, vomit near her mouth.
Sire calls out for someone to call an ambulance, but all I hear is a buzzing sound as I drop to my knees and cradle her head.
A few people push past me as we all try to fit in her small bathroom and the buzzing in my ear gets louder.
I think I hear my name, but when I look up, I can’t make out what Sire is telling me. He looks like he’s yelling, but I can’t hear. As I look down, I’m nearly moving in slow motion as he checks my pockets for something.
He shakes my shoulders and my hearing suddenly comes back.
“I don’t know if she’s breathing,” Sage cries. “Just send someone.” When I turn to her, she’s on the phone, but turns to the hall and screams out for her fiancé.
“The naloxone I gave you, Jackson.” Sire shakes me again, his eyes drowning in a fear that scares me all over again. “Where is it?”
I shake my head as I look down at Lisette and Vidia pulls her away so her head is on the ground.
“I don’t have it.”