Chapter 22
Chapter twenty-two
James
My back hurts. I never got off the floor and back to bed, somehow ending up falling asleep curled up against the door.
Breakfast had been a blur, where the only thing I felt was relief he wasn’t there.
And now, he is taking me on an outing. It almost feels like he is taking the child he is supposed to babysit out on a trip.
A trip Peter has told me over and over again will be dangerous for me.
Peter told me a lot of things, and those things don’t make sense anymore.
As I am walking down the vibrant stalls, I observe the charming vendors.
With their bright skins, in all the colors of the rainbow, their hair matching the darker lines over their bodies, they look as vibrant as their town is.
Several times, I see something I want to get: a map of Silvermist, drawn on rainbow paper for Matthew, some kind of colorful disc you can throw at each other, as a kind of game.
Every time I do, I am reminded of the truth: I don’t know who Peter is and where my brothers are.
If they are safe. So, in the end, I just ask Killian why he is so willing to help me.
Despite how much I cannot stand the guy, he might be the only way for me to get my brothers back to safety.
So, when he suggests we sit down for lunch, I just do. I need to know.
“My sister was the fae princess. Our parents are strict, Celeste and I both wanted more freedom. For me that was the Royal Fae Flotilla, the Obsidian Oath was one of its ships. Most of the crew were part of it. For Celeste it was different, harder to find something that gave her that freedom,” he starts.
His deep voice rumbles the words, slow, dragged out of him.
And still, they paint a picture so vivid I can see it.
“I can’t stand it here anymore, Killian; he is my fated mate. I know fae don’t have them. But faun do, and that is good enough for me. Mom and Dad are always comparing us to other races, say we are so much better. Why are you doing the same?” Celeste asks Killian, pouting, angry.
“Celeste, I am your big brother. I need to protect you. It’s my job.” He sighs. It’s clear how much he cares for her. It’s clear to everyone but her.
“You loved her a lot… still do, don’t you?” I whisper, I know I promised to not interrupt him. But the need to tell him I see something good in him is too big. Too overwhelming.
“I do. That is why when the letters got darker, sadder, I knew I needed to go to Silvermist to be there for her. To come take her home,”
“Samuel, it’s Celeste. She finally wrote a letter again. It’s not good. We need to go get her and take her back home.” Samuel is at Killian’s side right away taking the letter from him. His right fist is clenched hard enough to leave crescent shaped dents in the palm of his hand.
“You tell your parents. I will get the crew and the Obsidian Oath ready,” Samuel tells Killian, already walking out of the opulent bedroom.
“Mother, Father, I have word from Celeste again, and the message leads me to believe she is in danger. Samuel is preparing the ship, getting the crew ready, I will be sailing to Silvermist within the hour.” His words are decisive but polite.
There is no way parents can refuse their son going out to rescue their daughter, right?
“That is not how this works, son.” Killian’s father speaks.
“You are the Crown Prince of Veridian Vale. You are not to fool around on a mission set to fail. Your sister made her own choice, and while it hurts my heart, you are not to decide what we do against that choice. Have I made myself clear?” Killian’s father says, in a voice so cold, no father should ever use it to address his child.
“Crystal,” Killian answers, the frost in his tone easily matching that of his father.
“Well, we’re having lunch in Silvermist right now, so I am guessing you didn’t listen to your father,” I say, my voice lighter, somehow amused at the fact that he ignored his father’s wishes to be there for his sister. Again, something I would have done myself.
“I sailed out within the hour. I wasn’t lying when he said he made himself crystal clear.
I never said I was going to do as he said.
He just believed I would, because I had been doing so up until that moment.
I lashed out a little from time to time but never like this.
He underestimated how much I love Celeste. Peter did too; still does.”
And just like that, we are back on the topic of Peter again, and I am reminded I still don’t know what is going on. I still don’t know why he kidnapped me or why Celeste doesn’t just stay with him. Or why he is now suddenly offering to help me and my brothers out.
“I lost my hand for her,” he tells me. “Not because I killed his parents. He did that himself,” Killian tells me, like he is talking about the weather, like it’s a normal conversation, to tell someone his ex killed his parents.
Or not exactly my ex because I haven’t spoken to Peter yet.
I have not let him know it is over. Right now, I am not even sure if I should, knowing Peter has the ability to turn people into brownies just because he got bored with them.
The thought is terrifying enough. To know he is able to kill his parents in cold blood is even more horrifying.
“He killed his own parents? And you thought it was a good idea to just tell me that like it’s a normal thing to say,” I say, shocked. “This is a man I loved, a man I trusted with my life.”
“No, he was a man you thought you loved,” he scoffs. “Haven’t you figured it out yet James? I thought you were smarter than this.” Yet again, he speaks as if I am a petulant child who needs to be told how the world works.
“Fuck you, Captain Hook. You don’t know the first thing about love.
Or being honest,” I shout. I know I am making a scene.
All of the Panatoeans are looking at us now.
I get up and storm off. I need to get away from him.
Every time I am trying to trust him, he does something like this.
Something that shows me he doesn’t care what I am feeling, that I am still just a means to an end to him.
Sure, there is no right way to tell someone the person they have been with for the last months murdered their own parents.
I get that. But he could have been a little more aware of the situation.
Even when I told him I didn’t like how he told me, that it hurt me, he just mocked me in front of everyone.
He doesn’t even follow me when I run off. This is a place where I know no one. Where I have no chance of getting back to my brothers. Sure, I could buy that map I saw earlier, but I don’t know how to read maps. I would not know if it were accurate, and I don’t have a compass to use it.
“A Makasina,” I tell the Panatoean behind the bar of the pub I fled into.
Maybe a drink will make the panic less. It has been ages since I had one.
Fuck, that is another thing Peter took from me.
How could I let him take so much from me?
How could I let him get away with it? This is not who I am, this is not the man my parents raised.
“Rough day?” the bartender asks as he slides the drink over to me.
“More like a rough couple of months, I am stuck. In the end, I am going to have to trust someone I know I cannot trust.” I sigh.
I never understood people who would go to a pub back home, and tell a random bartender, or patron, all about their shitty life.
Every word I tell this bartender now lifts some weight off my chest. Like a single rock or pebble is taken from the pile weighing down on me.
“I hope I am not overstepping, but you’re with Peter, right?” he asks. My spine freezes, every muscle in my back coiled tight, my upper body rigid.
“Please, Peter, sometimes I get so bored here in the castle. And everything you have here that is from Panatoea is so beautiful and colorful, I am not asking you to let me go alone; it could be like a date,” I plead with Peter.
I have been here for weeks now. Half the time he is off hunting that vile pirate or visiting the villages.
Even with the latter, he never takes me with him.
“How many times do I need to tell you that those places you cannot wait to visit are dangerous? The Panatoeans are on Hook’s side.
Are you really that willing to risk not just yourself but me too?
” Risking myself doesn’t matter to me that much, Peter knows.
That is why he interjects himself into the situation.
I would never do anything to harm him, ever.
“No, I am sorry, my love. Of course I do not want to risk you, or either of us. Just try to see it from my perspective.” I don’t want to keep bugging him.
I don’t want to fight. I just want to be happy here.
And I need more than just the castle or the castle grounds.
I need to make real friends, not just faun staff keeping me company.
“I see it from your perspective, my sweet boy, and I hate how I am not enough for you. How I cannot be enough for you.” Peter’s sigh breaks my heart.
I am so ungrateful. He has done so much, not just for me, but for Matthew and Barry too.
And here I am complaining he isn’t taking me on enough outings, when he is doing everything he can and more to keep me happy.
“No, Peter, please don’t think like that.
You know I just get a bit moody sometimes.
Mostly when I have been missing you, but that is no excuse.
I know it isn’t,” I say softly. The weight of him presses down on my head, the warmth of his breath rustling my hair, before his thin but soft lips press against my scalp.
I realize I am lucky with how forgiving and understanding Peter always is.
He has every reason to be mad at me longer, but instead, he takes me to the lake to play me the pan flute again.
That fucking pan flute—no matter what I think about Captain Pestilence, I know now that the pan flute did alter my mind.
That doesn’t mean Peter lied about the Panatoea; realistically, all I know about Peter now makes the fear even more well-founded.
The chances of this man having enemies all over Silvermist are pretty high.
The Panatoean gets out from behind the bar, walking closer to me.
I am not going to just wait and see here.
To figure out if this was one of the things Peter lied about.
Or if they are actually going to cut me to strips.
I am not a fighter, but turning your back to an enemy who probably has a weapon doesn’t seem wise at all. “Used to be. Not anymore, but it is fine, I don’t want to cause any trouble. I will just go, okay?” I offer weakly as I make my way to the door walking backwards.
“Hello there, Darling.” The words hit me before the hard body I bump into does. But not in time for me to realize who is talking to me. Or to stop me from running into him.