Chapter 37
Chapter thirty-seven.
Killian
“You should just move in with me in my quarters. I hate to know you’re still sleeping in the hut that used to be your prison.
So if you really mean it, if you truly no longer care about the fact that the crew will see you as mine.
No, wait, will know you’re mine. I want you here with me every night,” I tell James, who looks up surprised.
“Wait, really? Yes, you know what? I would love that.” I feel like I am floating as he answers me, looking genuinely happy about the prospect of what basically is living together.
We’ll be like every other couple aboard that gets to retreat to their bed in the evening.
It will help with watch shifts too. James climbing up the crow's nest to sit with me yesterday was amazing, but I cannot expect him to do that every night I have a late shift. And I have a lot of those, because since Celeste moved to Silvermist, I haven’t been sleeping well, and taking a lot of night guards just made sense.
I would not spend the night staring at my ceiling, and the crew that could sleep would get some more hours to do so.
I will try to cut them back a bit to spend more time with James.
I just don’t want to be that captain who finds a partner and then lets his crew work harder for him.
But knowing James would be in our bed, waiting for me, that would be enough.
We only ever do four-hour shifts, because it’s important to make sure we stay awake and alert during watch.
So knowing after four hours I would be able to get back in bed with James would be everything.
“Wait, you mean it? You made it sound like you hate the idea of sharing your quarters with me.” His face lights up as he admits his worry.
“Darling, it might be too soon, especially given the way we met, but I love you, James. I think I was lost when you made the crew believe the neverberries were poisonous. I found you devouring those when we all went to sleep,” I finally admit.
I take a deep breath, and it feels like I get more air in.
A weight has been lifted from my chest at my confession but there is more to it.
“I never really hated you. I mean I know what I did, but in the end, I was just angry that someone like you fell for Peter. Which is not fair at all I realize that, I honestly do… but as you might have noticed I have a bit of a short fuse.”
James just laughs at my statement.
“I know, Killian, and I love you too. I hated myself for it, since I started falling for you when I still was with Peter, but you were the first real person I saw as the enchantment started to lift.” His words make me feel like I am floating, make me want to act like a hundred-year-old fae again, ignore my responsibilities, and just stay here in our quarters.
“I don’t want to get up, do things like get breakfast. I wish I could—” The loud buzzing off wasp suddenly interrupts me.
“Celeste…” James was holding my hand, but my fingers can hardly intertwine with his anymore, they are so stiff and cold now.
Celeste never drops by two days in a row as being away from the castle is hard on her because of the spell.
She is even gesturing wildly, but it doesn’t make any sense to me.
My stomach tightens, and my insides burn when I unsuccessfully try to swallow down the acidic taste in my mouth.
“Killian, she needs us to follow her.” James says, after watching her intently.
He is able to read something in her movements, her wild gestures now, which even I can’t.
James rushes to get dressed, picking his discarded clothes off the floor.
He moves fluent and lightning fast. My body is slow and sluggish, unable to get it to do as I want.
I am struggling to even get my prosthesis on.
“Come here, let me help.” James expertly reattaches my hook.
Like he has been doing it for ages. Struggling, I get into my trousers, tunic, and boots.
The anxiety still coursing through my body, leaves me stumbling after James and Celeste with the joints of an elder fae.
Celeste motions again, pointing at doors, making a gesture that seems like she is knocking.
“I think she wants us to warn everyone,” James says, as he again is the one who is able to read my sister’s desperate attempt to tell us something.
“Ring the alarm. I need everyone above deck,” I shout, voice cracking as we reach the top deck.
Pax, who is closest to the wheelhouse where the bell is, immediately does as I ask. It feels like the entire ship is shuddering with the roar of the crew making their way to the top deck. Celeste is not happy yet, flying towards the crow’s nest.
Even I get her now, to some extent, so I follow her up, James on my heels. I am glad he is going up there with me. I have no idea what we will find. And I might need his support more than ever.
Once in the crow's nest, I get the looking glass out, trying to see what Celeste is trying to tell us. It’s not long before I spot Peter with some of his warrior fauns.
This happens all the time; he will go on random hunts.
With how many spies he has, it is never surprising he often gets close to where we last docked.
Like a toddler, though, he will give up, bored after looking around for a few days.
Never ever has Celeste warned me about it; she is well aware he cannot find the Obsidian Oath if none of the crew leads him to her.
I am about to question Celeste and her panic when I see Peter leading two of the lost boys. That is already weird, but then I see one of them glare at Peter, his eyes partially hidden behind black-framed glasses.
“Darling, we are here for you, the entire crew is, but I think you need to see this.”
I am barely able to hide the tremors coursing through my body as I hand James the looking glass.
He pales instantly. He has been worrying about his brothers since he found out the truth.
One of the things I love so much about him is how wise he is, and it’s not that hard to put two and two together.
“Killian, he has my brothers. I need to get to them. This means he knows,” James pleads.
“I know, darling. I know we’ll get some of the crew and get to him. We’re ending this right away.” I want to reassure James, but how do you reassure someone when his brothers are tied up, dragged through the woods by a man you know is dangerous and now has it out for you.
“He knows, he knows I am cheating on him with you. He knows I just want to bring my brothers home and then return to my life as it was. The life I thought was so bad, and now I would give everything to have it back.” His words feel like someone stabbing their fingers in your bruises.
I know he wants to go home. I haven’t given up on him, but I know it is going to be hard.
Still, to hear him say all he wants to do is rescue his brothers to go home still hurts.
Not that I am going to fault him for it now; he must feel panicked and guilt-ridden.
We don’t say much when we make our way down again.
I wish there was something I could tell him, something that could comfort him.
But I know there is nothing I can do but to keep him safe and get his brothers back, whatever it takes.
I will sacrifice my life if it means breaking Celeste’s curse and getting James and his brothers to safety.
“I don’t regret you coming here. I don’t regret the fact that Peter did not take my deal to exchange you for Celeste. I don’t even regret kidnapping you. But I do regret hurting you,” I tell James, pressing what might be my last gift into his hands. “I love you, darling.”
“Don’t you dare make this sound like a goodbye Killian, don’t you dare.
” James’ voice cracks when he refuses my goodbye.
I don’t want this to be our goodbye. I want to crawl into bed with him tonight.
I want to meet his brothers and tell them how much I love James, I want them to like me.
To let Barry operate the Obsidian Oath, to let Matthew pick books from my private collection.
But life is fickle, and I have no idea if we will both make it out alive.
And if these are my last words, I want them to tell James everything I feel for him.
It doesn’t take long before the entire crew, has gathered on the top deck.
“Everyone, Peter is close. Normally, we would not need to take action; however, this time, he has James’s brothers, a twelve- and an eight-year-old boy, tied up with him. I need ten people to join me and James to get them back to safety.
Seviin, Vani, Samuel, Pax, Belichime, and Dexter all raise their hands, stepping forward before I am even done talking. Seconds later several other crew members step forward, all nodding as James whispers a “Thank you.”
“Wait, Killian,” James pulls my sleeve, staring at the muddy floor in front of us.
“See that?” His toes tap a white and red marble.
“These are Barry’s I gave them to him for his last birthday.
Maybe he is leaving them as a trail. We need to see if we can find more of them,” he whispers as to not get overheard but even in the hushed tone of his whisper, his conviction is very clear.
“Hand these to the person behind you and tell them to look out for these marbles; they are James’s brothers’,” I whisper as I hand Samuel the marble, with every new whisper I see my crew, our crew, check the forest floor.
“Captain, I found one,” Dexter whispers after a few seconds. I smile as I realize James’s conviction was well-founded; his youngest brother must be as wise as James is.
Now with the white marbles left in a trail, it is as easy as cutting butter with a warm knife to track Peter and his warriors.
I had hoped we could get James’s brothers to safety before the confrontation, but Peter tied them to his waist. The fucker is more conniving than I give him credit for.
Barry’s eyes locking onto James’s makes my breath catch in my throat.
We need to find an advantage to confront Peter, and Barry shouting at his brother won’t help.
Again, James's movements are so lightning fast that it seems as if his body is made of water, like he is a part of the ocean. He places a single finger on his lips, Barry’s eyes fly to the floor immediately, his nod barely perceptible.
The fauns have no idea what is happening, giving us the chance to circle them now that we have eyes on them.
“Give the boys back, Peter,” I say, loud and strict as we reveal ourselves, the circle of our people closing in on Peter’s circle.
“You give me back my fated mate,” he answers.
James shivers at Peter’s tone. As if he hears the smug satisfaction in Peter’s voice for the first time.
I want to shield him from this all. My arm draws back instinctively, physically shielding James.
Something dark flashes behind Peter’s eyes.
I can see the realization of what James means to me settle in.
“I am not your mate. I never was. You played me like you played Celeste Tregear. You basically drugged me with your pan flute, and I will make you pay for it.” The frost in that light voice I had directed at me so often is now directed at Peter, and not even the mighty faun can withstand it; he takes a step back, like he is slapped.
Matthew doesn’t budge, causing Peter to stumble.
“I was good to you, and now you’re with him? Do you know he wrote me letters to come get you, luring me in so he could kill me?”
I am about to speak up, smirk. He thinks he can drive James and me apart by revealing what he believes to be my dirty secrets.
“No, you’re lying. He didn’t,” James exclaims, panic rising in his voice. I am confused…
“But you have my brothers. I just want them back. Tell me I could make a deal with you if he betrayed me even worse than you did.” I am so gobsmacked I can’t bring myself to talk.
“You have his sister, it’s driving him insane now. Take his brother, and his second sister, so you will break him. In return, I come back to you, but Matthew and Barry will stay with me.”