Chapter Nine
ABBIE
When Sophie and I drive home, I take the wheel. I figured that the pregnant girl would need some rest after such an active day yesterday, and I was right. We’re not even thirty minutes into our drive and she’s already fast asleep, her head resting against the car’s window.
Yeah, I remember the exhaustion of pregnancy. When I was carrying Lilah, all I wanted to do most days was sleep. It just felt like my body was working so hard all the time, and all I could do to try and keep up was rest.
Personally, though, her sleeping on this ride gives me a chance to think about things I am so not ready to talk about aloud. My heart aches, my body aches — in totally different ways — and I’m yearning to get back home where everything makes sense.
I can’t wait to wrap my arms around my little girl. It’s only been a single night, but I miss Lilah. I can’t wait to get back to her and put the events of Connecticut behind me.
I slept with Jake. How the hell could I have let that happen?
He was the one who cut things off in the first place, but I’ve got so much more to lose now if something like this were to blow up in my face.
Jake doesn’t do relationships—he always made that very clear—and I’m not going to force him into some obligation he never asked for or wanted.
Gripping the steering wheel harder, I huff out a breath and try to shake it off.
If I look at this from a different angle, maybe it’s good that it happened.
It was a one-time thing. A single mistake, an itch that needed to be scratched, and it doesn’t matter in any deeper emotional way.
It’s not like I’m going to see him all the time anyway.
He doesn’t live in Ivy Glen anymore and his pro schedule keeps him slammed in season.
If he ever does come to town to visit, it’ll be easy enough to avoid him.
That thought helps calm the worst of my nerves, so I cling to it like a lifeline.
By the time we arrive at Dad and Vivianne’s house, I’m feeling much more at ease. Things will get back to normal now. Last night was just a blip, that’s all. The fact that Jake didn’t even want to talk to me in the morning makes that clear.
I reach over and place my hand on Sophie’s shoulder, gently shaking her to wake her up.
“Hey,” I murmur. “We’re here. Time to get the kiddos.”
She blinks her eyes open and looks over at me with a small, sleepy frown.
“Huh? Oh! Already? Geez, I’m sorry, Abbie. I didn’t mean to sleep the whole way.”
I grin. “No need to apologize. You’ve got a little person growing inside you. That’s a lot of work.”
Chuckling, she nods. “Yeah, I suppose that’s true.” She looks sad for a moment. “You know…”
I know what she’s about to say, so I beat her to it. “Listen, Sophie, I really am sorry I didn’t tell you when I was pregnant.”
“I would’ve been there for you the whole time,” she whispers. “I get it, you know? But I wish?—”
I hug her. “I’m sorry.”
Past mistakes aside, I feel so happy these broken pieces have mended so easily—at least with her. After a moment, we get out of the car and make our way up to the front door. It flies open before we reach it and Lilah comes rushing out in her little snow boots and coat with a big smile on her face.
“Mommy!” she exclaims.
Laughing, I kneel and open my arms for her. She barrels into them and clings to me. I hug her tight, fully relaxing for the first time since I left her.
Running my hands through her soft curls, I pull back from our hug to gaze down at her.
She looks so much like Jake, it’s sometimes startling.
She has his dark blue eyes and his particular shade of dirty blonde hair.
More than that, she has his smile, and her eyes crinkle at the corners when she laughs, just like his always did.
If he ever saw Lilah, it would be impossible to deny that she’s his, but is that what I should keep doing?
I’ve kept Lilah a secret from him because I knew he never wanted anything serious or considered me worthy of a long-term commitment.
I can’t imagine he’d be thrilled to learn we share a child, which is about the epitome of commitment and responsibility.
Is that being fair to Lilah, though? Doesn’t she deserve to know her father?
“Mommy?” Lilah tilts her head and stares at me with a frown. “Are you sad?”
I blink and realize I’ve just been gazing at her without a word for several long moments.
“Oh!” I slap a smile on my face and shake my head. “I’m not sad, sweetie. Just thinking.”
She grins again. “Okay. If you’re sad, I’ll kiss it better.”
I giggle. “That’s for boo-boos.”
“I still kiss it better, Mommy,” she insists, furrowing her brow stubbornly.
My perfect, sweet little girl. “Yes, baby. Yes, you can.”
She gives me a kiss on my cheek and my heart is so full of love for her, it could burst. I need to remember that she’s my priority and I need to do whatever I have to so she feels safe and secure.
Having Jake in her life might not be what’s best for her, since I can’t be certain he’d be a stable and constant figure in her life.
I’ll just have to try and stay as far from Jake as possible. With him in Boston, that shouldn’t be too hard.
By Monday morning, I’ve managed to push almost all of my thoughts about Jake to the back of my mind.
Mostly. Memories of our night together filter through my head now and again, but I quickly shake them away.
I need to focus on work. It’s my first day back at my uncle’s doctor’s office since before I was pregnant with Lilah.
“Abbie, you have no idea how glad I am to have you with us again,” Uncle Andrew declares when I walk into his office in my nurse’s scrubs.
I smile, but a part of me feels a small ache at how sickly he looks.
At fifty-five, he should still be energetic and active, but he’s been battling cancer and it shows.
He’s always been bald as far back as I can remember, but now his once ruddy and full cheeks are shallow.
His cheekbones are so visible, and he’s lost a lot of muscle.
His green eyes are still bright and shiny, though, which gives me some comfort regarding his condition.
“Glad to be back,” I tell him. “How are you feeling?”
He waves his hand, as if shooing my question away. “Oh, I’m just fine. Tired. Your aunt would say cranky, but I think she’s full of it.”
I laugh. “She’s just trying to take care of you, but she’s got Lilah with her down the hall today. She’ll be a lot more patient with you after having some kiddo time.”
Uncle Andrew’s smile turns tender. “Lori loves that little girl to pieces. An easy enough thing, really. Lilah is an angel.”
“I totally agree.”
Clapping his hands and rubbing them together, he declares, “All right! So, we have a full day today. Plenty of patients to see, but I also want to start training you in the administrative side of things. All the fun stuff—paperwork, personnel documents, record keeping, and billing. Everything you need to know to eventually take this place over.”
My stomach twists at the thought of running this practice on my own, but I don’t let my nerves show.
This is why I’ve moved back home. Uncle Andrew and Aunt Lori don’t have any kids of their own but have always treated me like I’m theirs.
I think they always felt bad that I didn’t have my mom growing up and so stepped in with my dad to raise me.
When I told them I was going to go to school for nursing, they were thrilled, and I think Uncle Andrew started planning right then and there to pass the practice to me eventually.
I never wanted to be a doctor myself—the sheer amount of schooling involved gives me a headache— but that didn’t make a difference to Uncle Andrew.
Just the fact that I’d entered the medical field has always made him so happy, and I think he’d be just as thrilled had I been a paramedic or a surgeon.
“Any luck on finding a doctor?” I ask, addressing the elephant that’s hanging out in the room. It’s the only thing really keeping Uncle Andrew from retiring completely, not having someone to take his place.
Unfortunately, it’s not the easiest thing these days to get a high-quality doctor to move to a small town clinic, and no way Uncle Andrew is going to let anyone step into his shoes who doesn’t meet his high standards.
“Actually, I have,” he answers. There’s a twinkle in his eye.
I smile. “Oh, you are totally holding something back.”
“Nah.” He chuckles.
“C’mon, Uncle Andrew. Tell me!”
“Well, it’s a startling coincidence, I’ll say that much.” He relents. “You’ll never believe this—the new doctor is someone who actually worked at your old hospital in Harrisburg!”
“What?” I stare at him in disbelief, wondering if he’s gotten confused. It wouldn’t be the first time — another good reason for him to be retiring — and I can’t imagine why anyone from Harrisburg would come here. If he’s not confused, then this is some sort of strange joke. “Are you sure?”
He nods. “It was the strangest thing! When I saw the resume come across my desk, I did a double take. He was by far the most qualified of the candidates, and so it was an easy choice to hire him. He’ll start on Monday!”
So soon? Holy crap… this feels like it’s all happening so fast. I’m still reeling from the news that the new doctor coming on board is from my old hospital, and now Uncle Andrew is hitting me with the fact that the new guy is starting so soon!
I tell myself it’ll be okay. This is a good thing.
Uncle Andrew will be able to retire and get some much-needed rest. He and Aunt Lori deserve that.
But… who is it? Who did he hire? The hospital in Harrisburg was huge, so the chances that I actually know this doctor personally aren’t big, but still.
“That is insane .” I shake my head, laughing. “Okay, who is it? I probably never met them, but…”
Before I can get my question fully out, the chime for the front door rings from the small speaker hanging in the corner of the office’s ceiling.
“Ah!” Uncle Andrew pushes to his feet. “That must be our first patient of the day. Would you mind getting them checked in? Send them to exam room two.”
“Yeah, no problem,” I murmur, a part of me still wanting to ask him for the name of the new doctor. However, duty calls, and he’s busy, so I decide to put a pin in this conversation and turn to head to the clinic’s front desk to get our day started. We can always talk about it later.
“Abbie, it’s okay! I can keep Lilah a little longer. She’ll just be underfoot while you deal with the movers.”
I give Aunt Lori a tired smile, recognizing the stubborn glint in her gaze.
It’s the end of the day and I need to get to the new apartment to meet the movers and the truck with all our stuff.
Standing in the doorway of her office, the floor of which is littered with toys, I watch Lilah continue to happily play as my aunt insists on keeping her.
“I don’t want to put you out,” I reply, though I’m incredibly tempted to take her up on her offer. “You’ve had her all day?—”
“I insist,” Aunt Lori states firmly, her milk chocolate eyes narrowing as she looks up at me from her desk chair.
Her expression softens the next moment as she assures me.
“Don’t worry, sweetheart. I love taking care of Lilah and it’s been over a year since I’ve seen her last and visited you.
You can text me when you get done with the movers and I’ll bring her over. Just leave me her car seat.”
Nibbling my bottom lip. I think over her offer. “All right, if you really insist. Thank you. I’ll let you know when you can bring her to the apartment.”
Lori beams. “Sounds like a plan.”
I look down at Lilah. “You keep being a good girl for Auntie, okay? I’m going to go get our new home ready.”
She glances up from the dolls she’s playing with and nods. “Okay, Mommy!”
Chuckling, I hurry to leave, moving Lilah’s car seat from my car to Lori’s before taking off. I need to get to the apartment before the movers get there, and Vivianne and Dad insisted on helping too. I don’t want to leave anyone waiting to get into the building.
When I arrive at the apartment building, I’m relieved to see that I’m the first one here.
I pass by a gray car seemingly making its way out of the lot, then I park near the building’s entrance to wait and take a moment to catch my breath.
Leaning back against my seat, I absently glance out my window, taking in the snow-covered grounds of the complex.
The bushes are trimmed, the grass mowed, and the flowerbeds weeded and manicured.
Suddenly, I catch sight of that gray car again, slowly driving by me in the opposite direction. It’s an older model, but the windows are tinted so I can’t see inside. Still, a shiver runs up my spine and I’m almost positive whoever is driving is looking at me.
My mind starts to race and I can’t help but think of those awful messages I got in Harrisburg. I haven’t gotten another one since arriving in Ivy Glen, so I’d kind of stopped thinking about them, but now…
I duck down lower in my seat and continue watching the car creep by. Why’s it going so damn slow? I keep an eye on it, waiting to see what it does next. If it parks and I see who gets out, I’ll probably feel better…
Suddenly, I see the moving truck entering the parking lot, closely followed by my dad’s car and I’m momentarily distracted.
By the time the truck parks next to me, the strange gray car is gone. I release a short breath and tell myself I was just letting my imagination get the better of me. The messages from my stalker in Harrisburg have me on edge still, that’s all.
As I get out to greet the movers and start directing everyone, I do my best to shake off my anxiety.
That gray car was acting so weird…or maybe it’s just the memories and fears from Harrisburg rising back up and making me paranoid.
I just need to relax, but no matter how hard I try, I can’t get rid of this small feeling of dread at the base of my spine.
Or the feeling that there are eyes on me.