Chapter Twelve
ABBIE
The sound of little kid laughter bounces around the rink, a chaotic cacophony of noise matching the wild energy itself.
It helps pull me out of my swirling thoughts, which haven’t strayed far from that text I got earlier this week.
I haven’t been able to shake my anxiety about it completely, but I’ve been telling myself it’s just a text.
He doesn’t know where I live. It's been one text since I moved, and he hasn’t sent me anything else.
There’s no reason to let it consume me. No reason to dwell on it. Getting out of my apartment and hanging out with Sophie and the kids will be good for me. It’ll help ease my mind and relax.
All the kids in the rink are around Chase’s age, and not many of them can even stand on skates yet. As Lilah and I walk hand-in-hand toward the stands where Sophie is sitting, I look across the ice in search of Carter and Chase.
When I spot them, I freeze.
Jake is with them.
What? What the hell is he doing here? Panic seizes me and I glance down at Lilah, who’s walking next to me, none the wiser to the potential shitshow we’re heading into.
I thought Jake had a game today and wouldn’t be here. That’s the only reason I felt comfortable agreeing to come with Lilah in the first place. If Jake sees her, I don’t know how he wouldn’t be able to see right away that she’s his.
Pausing, I look around and contemplate just turning around and leaving. No one has to know we were here. I could just text Sophie and say something came up…
“Chase!” Lilah declares excitedly, spotting him through a break in the rink’s boards. She tugs on my hand and urges me forward, and I let out a reluctant sigh and allow myself to be dragged by my toddler.
Carter and Jake are watching Chase as he hesitantly pushes to his feet, his knees wobbly. They don’t seem to have noticed us as we draw near, and I can hear them talking as they focus on Chase.
Chase beams, clearly proud of himself. Carter appears to give him some sort of instruction. “You sure you have time for this?” I hear Carter ask. “It’s game day, right?”
Jake nods. “Yeah, but don’t worry. I don’t have to be back in Boston for another couple of hours. I’m good.”
Oh, God… he’s going to be here the entire time? I’m not mentally prepared for this! And Lilah is with me… what if he clocks how much she looks like him?
Gut twisting with anxiety, I tear my gaze away from them and look toward Sophie, who’s spotted us and is waving her hand over her head with a wide smile on her face.
She’s sitting on the bench where one of the teams would usually sit during a match, right next to the ice.
Lilah lets go of my hand, rushing toward Sophie and throwing herself into my friend’s open arms for a hug.
“Hey, guys!” Sophie exclaims as she squeezes Lilah to her. “I’m so happy to see you both!”
Grinning, I drop down onto the bench next to her. “How’s it going? Why aren’t you out there skating with the guys?”
Sophie presses her lips together in a pout and lets out a frustrated huff.
“I’ve been accused of being a hovering distraction to Chase,” she grumbles. “Which is rich coming from my husband, who’s been driving me nuts hovering over me because being pregnant apparently means I’ve forgotten how to skate.”
I laugh and glance back over at Chase, who is wearing a full body of mini hockey padding.
Pointing, I ask, “Soph, did you do that to Chase? I don’t know how the poor kid can even move.”
Sophie’s cheeks go pink and she mumbles, “Okay, so maybe I have been a little overprotective.” She raises her voice and points at me. “You just wait! Lilah will be ready to get on the ice in less than a year. You’ll know then just how terrifying seeing them out there can be!”
Oh, shit… just thinking about Lilah trying to stay upright on a pair of skates while other kids who don’t know what they’re doing slip and slide around her does kind of freak me out.
“Okay.” I nod. “I see your point.”
“Mommy!” Lilah starts pointing excitedly at the skaters. “Mommy! Skate! Skate!”
“Yes, baby.” I grab her and pull her onto my lap. “Do you want to skate when you’re bigger?”
“Yes! I skate!”
A shadow suddenly falls over us, and I look up with a start to find that Jake has skated to the side of the rink and is standing before us.
I stiffen. Damn it, I was really hoping he’d stay on the ice while we were here, but it looks like the class is coming to an end.
Carter and Chase are still out on the ice, getting in a few more minutes of skate time.
“Hey,” he says in an awkward tone. “How’s it going?”
I stare at him in stunned silence for a moment before I manage to choke out, “Uh, hey. Good. It’s going good.”
My brain seems to completely shut down as I gaze up at him. It doesn’t help that he looks so damn good in a Boston hoodie and dark jeans. His hair is a little messy, giving him a more relaxed, casual look. Reminds me of what he was like in high school — effortlessly cool and gorgeous.
I need to say something more to him. Need to figure out how to explain Lilah and her blue eyes so that he doesn’t get suspicious. Before I can come up with a word, though, Lilah jumps off my lap and runs to the boards to gaze up at Jake with her big smile.
“Hi!” she cries out, then pats her own chest. “Lilah!”
Jake gazes down at her with raised brows, but then softly smiles. “Uh… hi, Lilah. I’m Jake.”
I feel like my heart is going to burst out of my chest. This is a nightmare. Does he recognize himself in her? Her blonde hair and blue eyes, mixed with my freckles?
He meets my gaze and I can see the question in his eyes that he really wants to ask, but instead of “Is she mine?” what comes out is, “Is she yours? She looks like you.”
Anger flares inside me. “Obviously.”
This takes him aback. “And, uh, her dad…?”
Suddenly, Lilah lets out an excited laugh and points toward Chase.
“Chase!” she cries excitedly. “Chase skate! Skate!”
Swallowing, I jerk my gaze from Jake and focus on Lilah. “That’s right, sweety. Chase is skating.”
“Abbie, have you met the new doctor yet?” Sophie asks me, changing the subject, but I’m so distracted by Jake’s presence that I can only mumble out one word. “Yeah.”
I jerk my gaze from Jake and try not to look his way even though I can practically feel him drilling holes into my head with his eyes. He wants to say something. I can tell, but I’m praying he doesn’t. Praying he doesn’t interrogate me right here and now.
Thankfully, before he can say anything, I spot three figures rushing toward us past the check-in desk and skate rentals, coming from the direction of the other rink where the older kids are working with Tom.
Jordan, Theo, and Bodhi hurry into the bench area and come to stumbling stops in front of Jake, looking up at him with wide, excited eyes.
Jordan is practically bouncing with energy, his blue eyes shining and sandy brown hair flopping on his head. “Jake! Jake, you have a game tonight, right? You’re going to kill it!”
Jake chuckles. “Thanks, buddy. I’ll do my best.”
“Will you come back here after?” Theo asks, unable to hide his hopefulness as he shoves his black hair out of his eyes, the green swirling with awe like he’s staring up at a superhero. “Will you come back and show us some more hockey moves?”
Bodhi nods, clearly excited as well, but he’s more guarded and cautious as he blushes and murmurs, “I’ve been working on my slap shot. I think I’m getting good.” He scratches at his white-blonde hair, the pink on his cheeks stark against his pale skin.
“I’m sure you are,” Jake agrees.
“You’re welcome to help out around here any time,” a loud voice declares.
We all turn and watch as Benson Scott, the rink’s owner, walks toward us. A short, round old man with tufts of gray hair and thick glasses. Benson is always a little loud because he’s hard of hearing, even after years of being away, he’s still the same old Benson.
“I’m so grateful to have Carter and Tom taking on the bulk of the coaching and management,” he continues. “I’m getting too old to keep this place running on my own. As it is, I really only have to check in once a week or so because Carter’s taken on this place nearly full time now.”
Sophie chuckles. “Carter loves it here, Benson. He’s happy to help out.”
“I really do owe him and Tom.” Benson grins.
“Because of them, I get to spend more time enjoying my golden years. In fact, my granddaughter is visiting soon—the only one I like of any of them.” Under his breath, he murmurs, “The rest are all greedy little fuckers who have moved away, and are too self-absorbed to worry about anything but themselves.”
Surprised by his words, I share a glance with Sophie, who’s wide-eyed and clearly trying hard not to laugh.
After a bit more small talk, Benson turns and shuffles off and the boys start talking among themselves about hockey.
They keep peppering Jake with questions, thankfully distracting him, but I can still feel when he glances my way.
He’s just too big of a presence to completely ignore, and I wish I could just disappear from his scrutiny before he puts two and two together.
Carson and Chase make their way over to us and Sophie grabs her boy in a tight hug before helping him change into his regular shoes.
Lilah rushes up to him and throws her arms around his neck.
“Hi Chase!”
“Hi Lilah,” he replies with a grin, patting her on her back. “Did you see me? I was skating!”
“Yeah!” she exclaims, clapping her hands. “Skating!”
“Do you want to skate too?” he asks her.
She nods and looks up at me. “Lilah skate, Mommy!”
I can’t help but grin down at her. She and Chase are just so freaking cute together.
“Someday, baby,” I assure her. “Maybe when… well…”
“I can teach her,” Jake offers.
I turn to face him, eyes widened. He’s actually smiling, and his tone is genuine, with none of his usual cavalier arrogance. It’s shocking. “What?” I whisper.