Chapter Twelve #2
He clears his throat. “Seriously, I’d be happy to teach the kid how to skate. When she’s old enough.”
“Sure you’ll still be around by then?” I snip.
The question is past my lips before I realize what I’m asking, and he looks stunned. Then a little bit… hurt? Yes, he does look hurt.
“Ouch,” he whispers. “Offer still stands.”
“Hey, Jake, can you help me grab the equipment?” Carter asks, slipping up next to him, seemingly oblivious to the tension radiating between us.
Jake jerks his gaze from me and turns to Carter, looking as though he’s breaking free of a daze. “Uh, yeah… sure. I can help.”
Carter claps his hand on Jake’s shoulder then shoots me a smile. “Hey, Abbie! You and Soph have fun tonight.”
I force a bright grin. “Yeah, for sure. I’ll take good care of her, don’t worry.”
“I trust you,” he winks, then to Jake, “Let’s go, dude.”
He skates away and Jake moves to follow him, though his gaze lingers on me a little while longer before he finally moves away.
“Okay, we’re good to go,” Sophie declares, snagging my attention. I turn to find her standing and holding Chase’s hand, smiling at me expectantly.
“Yeah, uh, excited for our girls’ night?” I ask her, ready to get out of here.
She sighs. “More than ever.”
Chuckling, I grab Lilah’s hand and quickly head for the exit, not looking back even though I know Jake is watching me practically run away.
Sophie isn’t far behind with Chase. We’ll drop them both off with Vivianne and my dad, then head to my place, where a good pint of rocky road ice cream is calling our names.
“All right, you have some explaining to do.”
I look up at Sophie with my brows raised and my mouth stuffed with pizza.
We’re sitting together at my kitchen table, pizza box open between us, a glass of wine in front of me and grape juice in front of her - so she can feel “fancy” - and we’re both wearing comfy sweats and t-shirts. We’re cozy, and totally relaxed.
Well, mostly.
I try to ignore what I know she’s saying. “I don’t have to explain anything about how damn good this wine is. It speaks for itself.”
She points a finger at me. “Stop it. You need to tell me what really happened between you and Jake. All of it. Back then and whatever is causing the current tension, because I can tell something is going on.”
I stare at her for a moment. Damn… I should’ve known this was coming and that I couldn’t keep anything from Sophie. Not for long, anyway.
“God,” I mutter. “I need a long, long drink for this.” Grabbing my wine, I take that long drink before letting out a sigh. “Damn it, seems like no matter what I do, Jake comes around and messes everything up. Even just a nice evening with my best friend, and?—”
“Spill the details.”
“Okay, so… Jake and I hooked up the weekend we were in Connecticut. I confess. I was hoping it would just be a one night thing that I could forget about, but clearly that’s not the case since he’s decided to fucking come back to Ivy Glen and do that aforementioned life ruining thing all over again. ”
Sophie’s eyes go wide. “I knew it!”
“Yes, yes, yes, you’re very smart.”
“Well, this is good, right? You two can try to make a go of it for real.”
I snort. “That’s not going to happen. Nothing’s changed between us in the last three years. Connecticut was a mistake - I should’ve learned my lesson after your wedding. Honestly, I should have learned my lesson way before then.”
“What if he’s different now? I mean, the way he looks at you…”
“Hell no, he can barely commit to the next sentence coming out of his mouth, much less a relationship. It was always all about sex for him. And I can’t do casual, even if I spent all those years pretending I could.
I told myself before your wedding that I was done, but we hooked up anyway.
After that night, I came home and Jake went back to Boston.
I didn’t hear from him again after that.
He totally ghosted me, and then I found out I was pregnant… ”
My voice flares up a little at the end and Sophie reaches across my table and takes my hand. She doesn’t say anything, letting me take a moment to catch my breath before I keep going.
“I was so embarrassed,” I admit, wiping a tear from my eye that I’m surprised by. I didn’t realize how raw these wounds still were.
“It’s okay.”
“No. I knew I only had myself to blame. And I made so many mistakes. Not communicating to you, going so far…”
Sophie rubs my back. Her eyes are soft. “You did what you could to protect your child. Don’t be so hard on yourself.” She paused for a moment. “But you know you have to tell Jake, right? You can’t keep this a secret forever. That is, if he didn’t figure it out after today.”
Closing my eyes, I sigh. “Yeah, I know, but if he doesn’t want her, which I’m pretty sure he won’t, Lilah is the one who’ll get hurt.
I can’t risk that, Sophie. I remember Jake talking about how awful his family still is to him and how he never wants that for himself. He won’t want to be with me and Lilah.”
Sophie gives me a sympathetic look. She cups the side of my face and brushes her thumb over the tear on my cheek.
“If he doesn’t want you two, he’s an idiot, but he still deserves to know.”
I sigh. “I know. It’s just going to take me a little time.”
“That’s fine. You’re allowed to take your time with this kind of thing. I’ll be here with you every step of the way.”
I beam at her. “You’re the best. Now, enough about Jake. Can we please, please, please not say that asshole’s name again tonight? I want to focus on positive things.”
She laughs. I laugh with her. “You got it,” she says. “What’s a better subject?”
“Literally anything.” I wipe my eyes again, but my smile remains. “How are things going with the accounting firm? I’ve heard through the grapevine you’ve really expanded the last few years.”
“Oh, yeah, I have!” she exclaims. “Carter always said I’d have clients lining up at my door, and he wasn’t wrong. I’ve taken on so many accounts, I’ve had to hire extra hands to stay ahead of everything.”
“That’s amazing!” Pride swells up inside me. I always knew she’d kill it if she ventured out on her own - she just needed that little push of confidence Carter helped her find. “And your parents? Are they good?”
“Great.” Her smile softens. “Mom’s new arthritis medication is really helping her, and Dad’s doing really well. He actually lost some weight, which has helped with his diabetes. I’m just glad we’re all able to take time just to be together now that the rink is in a good place..”
I listen, smiling to everything she says. I’m so happy for her. Happy that she’s been able to build a life that she can call her own and be proud of. I hope I can do the same thing someday…
Somehow.
Later in the evening, after Sophie has fallen asleep in my bed, I decide to take a bath to try and relax. My mind is buzzing with thoughts of Jake, making it impossible to sleep.
Once the tub is full with hot water and bubbles, I sink into it, sighing in relief as I submerge myself to my chest.
After a few minutes, I realize that this isn’t going to help me relax either.
I just can’t get him off my mind. I remember all those little moments when we were hooking up when I thought maybe we could be more. When we’d cuddle together after sex and talk before falling asleep. When he’d gaze into my eyes with such tender affection, it made my heart ache.
No matter how much I tried not to want him, I did and I know I always will.
Frustration pulsing through me, I can’t stop the memories from the night of the wedding as they break through and flood my thoughts. Heat floods through me, but it has nothing to do with the water.
Biting my bottom lip, I slide my hand down my torso and between my legs. As I touch myself, I think about his big body moving over mine, driving in and out of me over and over again. The way his tongue caressed my skin and his lips moved against mine.
How he said my name in his deep, rumbling voice.
“Abbie…”
Pleasure consumes me, blinding me to everything but him.
God, the night of the wedding… he was so dominating. So rough and yet so tender. No man has ever worked my body the way he can. Has never forced pleasure out of me the way he’s able to.
He’d thrown me down on the bed after stripping my dress from me. I can still remember the blazing hunger in his eyes when he’d stared down at me, slowly removing his tie before unbuttoning his shirt, revealing his muscle-packed chest that I wanted to sink my teeth into.
He hadn’t been gentle, but I didn’t want him to be.
“You can’t get enough of this, can you?” he growled in my ear as he pinned my arms over my head and slammed his cock into me. “You love getting fucked hard.”
“Fuck, yes,” I’d hissed.
Leaning my head back against the edge of the tub, I let out a soft moan as I rub my clit in tight little circles, wishing it was his hand between my legs. That he was here in the bath with me, his muscled body wet and hot and mine to touch however I like.
“Jake,” I gasp, licking my lips. “Fuck… please…”
He’d smirk down at me and slip a finger inside me, so that’s what I do. He’d pump it in and out of me, faster and faster, harder and harder. I mimic what he’s doing in my mind with my own hand and push myself closer to the edge of release.
It’s not enough—it’s not him—but I’m still growing desperate as I move my hand harder and faster. My core is pulsing with need. Closer, closer… Jake’s grinning, his eyes hot and hungry.
Shit, shit, shit!
I go crashing over the edge, my orgasm ripping through me. I press my lips together to keep from crying out, remembering that Sophie is asleep a few doors away.
When I come back to earth, I let out a long breath and sink deeper into the tub.
Oh, damn. That just happened. I’m in deep… way too deep. And these feelings I have for this guy are not going to go away easily, no matter how much I desperately want them to.