Chapter 8
8
‘She sounds fascinating,’ Luke remarks after I’ve told him about Lena’s surprise return over lunch.
‘I’m not sure that’s the word I’d use,’ I complain. ‘I mean, I admire what she does and everything, but that doesn’t give her carte blanche to do whatever the hell she likes when she comes home. Mike’s convinced the washing machine isn’t draining properly again, and I’ve had to hide my shampoo and conditioner after she emptied about half a bottle of each on her head before she stole my towel.’
He smiles. ‘Think of it as you doing your bit for the organisation she works for.’
‘Hmm. I think I’d rather do my bit by giving them charitable donations, rather than sponsoring one doctor’s haircare regime. Anyway, enough of my gripes. How are things with you?’
‘OK, actually. Mum seems a little more settled with the new carers. I mean, I still have to be there for her a lot, but it doesn’t feel quite so intense and it means I can have lunch with my favourite A normally it deepens pretty quickly, but Luke appears to be in no rush, and I’m savouring the moment. It feels like he’s teasing me. A little brush here, sometimes the gentlest feel of his tongue against my mouth. It’s incredibly erotic and I can feel my body responding. I pull him closer, trying to see if he’s as turned on as me, and I’m rewarded by a pleasing hardness pressing against me. This is the moment he decides to deepen the kiss and I’m totally ready for it.
‘Bloody hell, Luke!’ I murmur when we come up for air.
‘Was that OK?’ he asks sheepishly. ‘I’m a little out of practice.’
‘Yeah, well, I think we’d better get upstairs before we practise anything else. Come on.’ I grab his hand and pull him towards the staircase, eager to get him into my bedroom and preferably naked as soon as possible. Mike’s at work, so we’ll have the place to ourselves, and I intend to take full advantage of that fact.
We pause on the landing, ostensibly for me to find my keys, but somehow we end up kissing again, hot and breathless, both of us evidently eager for the next step. All Luke’s shy formality and supposed lack of experience has gone out of the window; he certainly seems to know how to push my buttons all of a sudden. His hand is starting to snake inside my top now and, although I very much want it to go there, I am just about still aware enough to know that this isn’t the place.
‘Inside,’ I growl as I shove the key in the lock and open the door. ‘I have plans for you, doctor.’
‘Oh, yes?’ His voice is breathy. ‘Tell me more, nurse.’
‘Well, there’s a nasty swelling in your groin. I’m going to need to get a good look at that, for starters. We might need to perform a special procedure to help it go down.’
‘Oh, really?’ Lena’s voice says from the sofa with a laugh. ‘Do tell me more.’
Fuck! What the bloody hell is she doing here?
‘Not interrupting anything, am I?’ she asks nonchalantly as Luke and I frantically try to disconnect and look innocent.
‘I thought you were visiting your parents today?’ I say sheepishly.
‘I was, but then something went wrong with the washing machine, so I had to be around to let Dave here in to fix it.’
This just keeps getting worse. I turn to find a workman in the kitchen, eyeing me with evident curiosity. I can practically feel my libido draining away and, looking at Luke, it seems the same might be true for him.
‘Are you going to introduce me to your friend?’ Lena asks, evidently enjoying herself now.
‘Umm, fine. Yes. Luke, this is my flatmate Lena, and Lena, this is my friend Luke.’
‘Not being funny, but you two looked a little more than friendly when you came in,’ she remarks blandly. ‘You should have let me know you were expecting company. I’d have made myself scarce, although I’m not sure what I’d have done about Dave.’
‘I think I’d better go,’ Luke says, turning towards the door.
‘Nonsense,’ Lena tells him, patting the sofa beside her. ‘Any friend of Tilly’s is a friend of mine. Why don’t you come and sit down next to me, we’ll get Tilly to make some coffees in that ridiculous machine that no sensible human could ever be expected to figure out, and we’ll get to know each other, hmm? Would you like a coffee, Dave?’
‘Love one,’ Dave replies.
Luke looks at me, evidently unsure what to do. I can tell he’d like to leave, but I know I won’t see him for ages again if he does, and I’m keen to salvage something from this mess. Part of me considers just dragging him into my room anyway, but it would be obvious what we were up to, even if the lousy soundproofing didn’t mean Lena and Dave would be able to hear everything.
‘Stay,’ I tell him, before leaning in close. ‘Maybe she’ll go out once the machine is done.’
That seems to be enough to persuade him, and he reluctantly perches himself on the sofa next to Lena, who looks like a praying mantis getting ready to decapitate him.
‘Did I hear Tilly say you were a doctor, Luke?’ Lena begins as I reach into the cupboard for mugs.
‘Yes, that’s right. We work together in A it was his first time being shot at, you know? Anyway, he was a bit shaken up, so I put my arm around him to reassure him and it certainly woke the beast in him. We had an extremely happy few weeks together.’
‘What happened?’ Luke asks.
‘Oh, he was careless and ended up getting shot in the leg and invalided home. It happens. Nice boy though.’
‘And you didn’t try to keep in contact?’
‘No. What happens in the field stays in the field. It’s best for everyone that way. Some of these people are married. They’re not looking to wreck their relationships, it’s just a release in a hostile environment. The fewer people who know, the better.’
‘Was Benjamin married? Are you?’
She laughs dryly. ‘Good Lord, no. But it still wouldn’t translate. Take away the jeopardy and I’m just a forty-something woman and he’s a twenty-something baby. You need the danger to provide the glue.’
‘I get that, I guess,’ Luke tells her. ‘Do you think the spouses suspect anything when the married ones come home?’
Another rasping laugh. I wonder if Lena’s taken up smoking since I saw her last. ‘How should I know?’ she asks. ‘That’s their shit to manage, not mine. The way I see it is this: life out there is short and often brutal. We see things nobody wants to see, deal with all the shit the world doesn’t want to look at. If we take pleasure in each other’s company while we do it, who the hell is in a position to lecture us? Before you judge me, walk a mile in my shoes. Isn’t that what Jesus said, Tilly? Tilly went to Catholic school so she’s an expert on the Bible.’
‘I don’t think it was Jesus,’ I tell her. ‘We always used to say, “Before you judge someone, walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you judge them, you’re a mile away and you have their shoes.”’
‘Very funny. I’ll remember that.’
‘So what made you want to go into your specific line of work?’ Luke asks her and, at this point, I know I’ve lost him for the afternoon. Lena loves nothing more than to talk about herself and her work. I don’t doubt the good that she does, but I do wonder sometimes whether she gets off on the glory of it, just a little bit. With a sigh, I add milk to the coffees and hand them round before settling in the armchair opposite an enraptured Luke.
‘I’m all done,’ Dave announces after a while. ‘It was sand, mainly. You might want to shake your clothes out a bit more carefully next time you come back from saving the world.’ If he’s being sarcastic, it’s completely lost on Lena, who thanks him profusely and insists on sending him away with one of Mike’s chocolate brownies. Luke also seems to take this as his cue to leave, getting to his feet.
‘Oh,’ Lena says to him disappointedly. ‘I hope I didn’t bore you.’
‘Not at all,’ he tells her. ‘It’s just I have to get back for my mum. The carers finish soon and she can’t be left on her own.’
‘Mm-hm. Carers are such a Western concept, don’t you think? In most cultures, families stick together, helping each other out as and when. It’s a much better model, in my book.’
‘Yes, well, I’m an only child so there isn’t anyone else,’ he tells her ruefully.
‘I’m sure you’re doing your best. It was nice to meet you, Luke, and I hope to see you again soon.’
‘You too.’
‘I’m so sorry,’ I murmur to him as I escort him downstairs. All the passion of earlier has dissipated and I just feel a bit numb. ‘I genuinely didn’t know she was going to be here.’
‘It’s fine,’ he tells me, leaning in to give me a chaste peck on the cheek. ‘I liked her. Hopefully there will be other times.’
‘There had better be,’ I tell him as I turn his head to kiss him on the lips, reawakening the merest hint of libido. ‘I have unfinished business with you.’
I watch him walk down the street for a while, before turning and trudging back upstairs. When I get into the flat, Lena hasn’t moved, not even to tidy away the coffee cups, and I feel a twinge of annoyance as I pick them up and start loading them into the dishwasher.
‘Well, he’s quite the charmer, isn’t he?’ she declares suddenly, piercing the slightly tense silence. ‘I’m not sure about him though. You need to tread carefully there, Tilly.’
‘Why do you say that, Lena?’ I ask, although she’s annoyed me enough this afternoon that I have no interest in her opinion.
‘I don’t know. I just get a bad feeling about him. Almost like he’s too good to be true.’
‘Well, it’s very kind of you to look out for me,’ I tell her sarcastically. ‘However, you’ll forgive me if I hesitate to take relationship advice from someone who, by their own admission, has no qualms about leaping into bed with married men.’
To my surprise, she grins. ‘That’s fair enough, I suppose. Just be careful though. You’re one of the good people, Tilly. I’d hate for you to get hurt.’
I can’t decide if I feel touched that she cares or incredibly patronised. What I do know is that I have to find a way to get her out of the way if she’s still here the next time I have an opportunity to bring Luke back. I’m not having a repeat of this afternoon.