Chapter 23
23
‘Are you sure you don’t mind doing this?’ I ask Will as he clambers into my car the following Saturday.
‘Mind?’ he says with a laugh. ‘Of course I don’t mind! You’ve saved me from a day of boring Bernard. Are you OK though? I’m not gatecrashing your special one-on-one time with your nephew?’
‘Not at all. If I’m honest, I’m relieved you’re here,’ I tell him. ‘I’ve never taken Isaac out on my own before and I’ve been kind of dreading it. What if everything I’ve planned bores him senseless?’
‘What have you planned?’
‘Soft play this morning. McDonald’s for lunch and then maybe the park this afternoon.’
‘Sounds pretty cool. If I were three, I’d be up for that. Soft-play centres are pretty foetid places on the whole, but it’s probably good for his immunity.’
‘Tash won’t forgive me if I make him ill. Do you think we should do something else?’
‘Does he go to preschool?’
‘Yes.’
‘Then he’s probably already had every disease going. I reckon you’ll be OK.’
‘Wow. When did you become such an expert on small children?’
He grins. ‘A couple of people I work with have them. Whenever we’re not discussing a project they break off to talk about which disgusting bug their little darling has come home with this week, or what incredible milestone they’ve just achieved. I never realised being a parent was a competitive sport until I started listening to them.’
I laugh. ‘Rule number one of being a parent. Your baby is always better-looking and cleverer than everyone else’s baby.’
‘Yup. That sounds about right. It’s tough on the child though, don’t you think?’
‘How so?’
‘Living up to all that expectation.’
‘Oh, I think most parents are so busy being delighted with their offspring that actual achievement isn’t actually that important. The number of truly idiotic injuries I’ve had to treat on children who are supposed to be geniuses would amaze you.’
‘Really?’
‘Absolutely. I had a boy only this week from one of the local grammar schools, supposed to be the crème de la crème, intelligence-wise. He and a mate had decided to see whether it was possible to stop someone stealing your bike by grabbing the back wheel as they tried to get away. The spokes made a hell of a mess of his fingers. Genius versus basic mechanics and physics, yet the genius lost. I have plenty of other examples.’
He shudders. ‘I think you can keep them.’
‘The point is that there are lots of different types of intelligence. I meet people who I’m sure are academically brilliant, but appear to be totally baffled by what I would consider basic life skills. But then there are people who probably wouldn’t pass an exam in a hundred years, but have an instinctive ability in a particular field that makes them successful. Plus the rest of us, of course, who are somewhere in between.’
‘I bet your parents are proud of you,’ he observes. ‘You’ve got to be pretty clever to do what you do, I reckon.’
‘No more proud than your dad is of you, Mister Technical Content Creator,’ I retort. ‘Anyway, like I said, it’s the first rule of parenting. Even my sister, who has traditionally called Isaac every satanic name under the sun, secretly thinks he’s the best thing since humans were invented.’
Will smiles. ‘We’d better take good care of him then, hadn’t we?’
‘She’ll certainly never forgive us if anything happens to him. She’s probably as nervous about today as I am. Ah, here we are.’
I park on the road outside Tash’s house rather than trying to squeeze on to the drive next to Greg’s enormous SUV, but she’s obviously been watching for us as the front door flies open before we even reach it.
‘You must be Will,’ she says warmly, ignoring me completely to eye him up and down. ‘Tills has told me so much about you.’
‘Really?’ Will looks alarmed rather than flattered.
‘No.’ She sighs. ‘She’s been depressingly tight-lipped about you, which is why it’s so nice to meet you in the flesh. Come in. Isaac’s really excited about today. He’s talked about nothing else since he got up. Greg’s just popped out for a run, but he says hi.’
She leads us into the sitting room, where Isaac is sprawled on the floor watching the inevitable Thomas the Tank Engine on TV.
‘Isaac,’ she says brightly. ‘Look who’s here.’
‘’Lo, Auntie Tilly,’ he says without diverting his eyes from the screen. ‘I’m watching Thomas .’
‘So much for his excitement,’ I tell her with a laugh.
‘Be polite, Isaac,’ Tash warns him, reaching for the remote and pausing the action.
Isaac rolls over with a sigh to attempt the greeting again, but his eyes widen when he catches sight of Will.
‘Who are you?’ he asks.
‘This is my friend Will,’ I explain. ‘He’s coming with us today.’
Isaac stares at Will without speaking as he digests this new information.
‘I’m very pleased to meet you, Isaac,’ Will says, settling himself down so he’s cross-legged on the floor next to him. ‘Your Auntie Tilly has told me a lot about you.’
This is enough to disarm Isaac, who is obviously delighted to think that he’s been the centre of attention without even needing to be present.
‘I was watching Thomas before Mummy stopped it,’ Isaac tells him, shooting Tash a resentful look. ‘Do you know Thomas ?’
‘I do.’
‘Who’s your favourite?’
Tash and I hold our breath as Will considers. This is a make-or-break moment. If it turns out he doesn’t actually know anything about the programme, Isaac won’t be impressed.
‘Percy, I think,’ Will says eventually.
Isaac laughs dismissively. ‘But he’s just a little engine,’ he scoffs. ‘Gordon’s the biggest and fastest.’
‘Yes, but Gordon was built to be big and fast, wasn’t he?’ Will counters. ‘Plus, he’s not always very nice. Percy may be little but he always tries hard, and that’s more important than just being good at what you were made to do, I think.’
Isaac is patently unused to having his views on the subject challenged, and stares at Will open-mouthed. Will may have passed the knowing-what-he’s-talking-about test, but Isaac isn’t really old enough to be good at accepting different points of view yet.
‘I suppose Percy’s OK,’ Isaac says eventually.
‘And Gordon is pretty cool too,’ Will offers, which obviously pleases him.
‘Do you want to finish the episode before we go?’ I ask Isaac.
‘Only if Will watches with me,’ he replies firmly.
‘Of course. I’d like that very much,’ Will tells him, earning himself a beam from Isaac in return.
‘I’ll stick the kettle on then, shall I?’ Tash suggests. ‘Tea or coffee, Will?’
‘Tea, please,’ he replies as she presses the button and the action starts again. ‘White with no sugar if that’s OK.’
‘Squash,’ Isaac adds.
‘Squash…?’
‘Squash please, Mummy.’
‘Yes, your lordship. You can come and help, Tills.’ She takes my hand and practically drags me out to the kitchen while Isaac begins to explain what’s happening on-screen to Will.
‘Where the hell have you been hiding him?’ she demands as soon as she’s sure we can’t be overheard. ‘He’s gorgeous, and his eyes! They’re contact lenses, right?’
‘No. His father’s are the same.’
‘Bloody hell. I’ve never seen eyes that colour before. I could spend hours staring into them. They’re kind of the same blue that you see in pictures of ice caves, aren’t they? Extraordinary.’
‘He has got nice eyes,’ I agree.
‘I mean, the rest of him is pretty good too, plus he’s a complete natural with kids. Five minutes and he’s got Isaac eating out of the palm of his hand? That’s unheard of. You must marry him immediately.’
‘Slow down, Tash. For all we know, the reason he’s so good with kids is that he has a whole secret family somewhere. I’m not falling into that trap again.’
‘You know that isn’t true. He’s the real deal, Tills. If Luke was sent to test you, Will’s your reward for doing the right thing. I went to Catholic school. I know these things.’
‘I went to Catholic school too, and I don’t remember that concept ever being mentioned.’
‘You probably weren’t listening for that bit. Anyway, the point is don’t let what happened with Luke get in the way of finding true love.’
‘And you’ve decided, based on nothing more than his eyes and the fact that Isaac likes him, that true love for me is Will-shaped.’
‘Abso-fucking-lutely.’
‘Well, thank you for your carefully considered opinion, dear sister. I will ponder it in my heart. However, we’re just friends and, even if I were interested in him, his dad kind of warned me off.’
Her face turns thunderous. ‘Really? Why? If he thinks his precious boy is too good for my big sister, I’ll be having a word.’
‘I don’t think it’s that. He just said Will was more vulnerable than I might expect, and to be careful with him.’
‘What does that mean? Bad break-up, do you think?’
‘I’ve no idea, but it was a clear warning.’
‘Have you asked Will about it?’
‘No. He doesn’t know what his dad said and it’s not really the kind of thing you can bring up in conversation, is it?’
She’s silent, obviously processing what I’ve told her as she makes the drinks.
‘You could ask him about his past relationships,’ she says eventually. ‘That’s natural curiosity about someone and you wouldn’t need to let on what his father had said.’
‘I think that gives off the wrong vibe.’
‘Why?’
‘It just sounds like I’m either interested myself, or I’m sizing him up to matchmake him with one of my friends.’
‘Nonsense. You’re overthinking it. There are lots of ways to bring it up casually without making a big deal of it.’
Thankfully, further analysis of my non-existent relationship with Will is halted by the arrival of Greg, sweating profusely and leaving much less to the imagination than I’d like in his Lycra running shorts.
‘There’s a strange man on our living room floor watching TV with Isaac,’ he tells us with a smile. ‘He says his name is Will and he’s something to do with you, Tilly. Is that true or shall I call the police?’
‘No police required,’ I reply. ‘He’s a friend of mine.’
‘Good. Isaac seems to have taken to him, so having him arrested might have caused a scene. I gather you’ve volunteered to take Isaac out for the day. Is that true as well, or did my wife press-gang you?’
‘No. I volunteered.’
‘Fool. I am grateful though. We both are. We’re going to go out for lunch, to a proper restaurant, did Tash tell you?’
‘No.’
‘I’m excited and terrified in equal measure,’ she says. ‘On the one hand, we’re going to eat real, grown-up food without having to worry about what Isaac will eat or whether he’ll get bored, but what if we find we don’t have anything to talk about without him as the catalyst?’
‘I’m sure you’ll do just fine.’
‘Of course we will,’ Greg assures her. ‘Right, I’d better jump in the shower. Nice to see you, Tilly, and thanks again.’
‘There’s another thing that I’m a bit anxious about,’ she confides when he’s gone. ‘The sex.’
‘Why? You’ve done it hundreds of times, haven’t you? It’s just sex, Tash.’
‘You say that, but I’ve been so focused on baby sex, I worry I’ve forgotten how to do romantic sex. And when do we do it? After lunch seems the obvious time, because he’ll be nice and relaxed, but what if he’s too relaxed and goes to sleep before I have a chance to get him in the mood? If we do it this morning before we go out, it might feel rushed.’
I laugh. ‘Now who’s overthinking? I’m sure you’ll know the right moment. Just make sure you’re done and dusted by the time we bring Isaac back. There are some things a sister definitely doesn’t need to witness.’
As we carry the drinks into the sitting room, I’m amused to see that the episode has finished, but Will and Isaac are engaged in what appears to be quite the debate.
‘Everything all right?’ Tash asks.
‘Absolutely,’ Will assures her. ‘I was just saying to Isaac that the Fat Controller really ought to be put in prison for running a railway that has that many accidents.’
‘And I was saying that it’s not the Fat Controller’s fault because the engines are silly and don’t do what he tells them,’ Isaac retorts.
‘You do make a good point,’ Will concedes. ‘Either way, I’m not sure I’d want to travel on his railway.’
‘You can’t, anyway,’ Isaac tells him good-naturedly. ‘It’s not real, you know. It’s just a story.’
Tash and I settle ourselves on the sofa to drink our tea, but I’m no longer surprised that Will chooses to stay on the floor with his new best friend. What neither of us were expecting is the way that Isaac subtly nestles into Will as he drinks his squash. Tash shoots me a subtle thumbs up but, although I roll my eyes at her in return and I wouldn’t describe myself as especially maternal, there is something undeniably attractive about Will’s natural rapport with Isaac. If nothing else, it makes me feel much more confident about today.