Chapter 24
24
I have no idea how I ever thought I would have been able to do this on my own. Things started to unravel as soon as I started trying to wrestle Isaac’s frankly ludicrous car seat into the back of my car. Even with the front seat pushed all the way forwards, it took quite a bit of wriggling to get it through the gap, and I probably would have put my back out had Will not stepped in to help. Then, once it was finally in, fixing it in place and securing Isaac also turned out to be nigh-on impossible until Will admitted that he’d done the instructions for the manufacturer and knew exactly how it worked.
The soft-play centre is exactly as Will described, with an overwhelming odour of feet, but Isaac was undeterred and disappeared into the main structure without a backward glance. At one point, Will disappeared as well and I was just starting to wonder if I’d lost the pair of them when I spotted him with Isaac at the top of the big slide. I just had time to whip out my phone and film them coming down, with Isaac grinning from ear to ear, before they appeared at the table where I was drinking a distinctly mediocre coffee.
‘Did you see that, Auntie Tilly?’ Isaac asked breathlessly.
‘Isaac was a little nervous about going on his own, so I went with him,’ Will explained. ‘You’ll be all right now though, won’t you?’
‘It’s better with you there,’ Isaac replied. ‘Will you do it again with me?’
‘Of course.’
Since then, Will must have been down the slide nearly ten times with Isaac. I nearly sent the video straight to Tash on reflex, before realising that they’re supposed to be having an Isaac-free day. I’ll show it to her later.
‘Your husband is so good with your son,’ a voice says, and it takes me a moment to realise the person is speaking to me. I turn to see a slightly haggard-looking woman about my age, dressed in a baggy sweatshirt and leggings.
‘I’m sorry?’
‘I couldn’t help watching,’ she continues. ‘And I’ll admit to being jealous. My husband won’t even set foot in this place, or do anything else to entertain his daughter at the weekend. What’s your secret?’
‘Oh, umm…’ I begin, about to explain that Will isn’t my husband and Isaac isn’t my son before realising that it’ll be much simpler all round if I just play along. ‘I guess I just landed one of the good ones,’ I tell her with a smile. ‘Will’s always been a hands-on dad.’
‘Lucky you,’ she remarks. ‘He’s pretty much the only father in here, have you noticed?’
I look around and realise she’s right. Apart from one guy sitting at a table in the corner with a coffee, and the uniformed staff members, all the adults in here are women.
‘I’m not the only one to have noticed,’ she continues conspiratorially. ‘Have a look around.’
Her remark coincides with Isaac and Will appearing at the top of the slide again and, as I glance around the room, I realise that pretty much all eyes are on them.
‘I suspect your husband is going to be the cause of a good number of uncomfortable conversations later,’ my companion confides.
‘Well, thank you,’ I say, feeling a little awkward now. ‘I’ll be sure to let him know.’
I’m just starting to realise what a difficult situation I’ve put myself in, because Isaac will debunk the woman’s assumptions the moment he reappears and calls me Auntie Tilly, when her attention is diverted to a small girl approaching her table in floods of tears.
‘What on earth is the matter?’ she exclaims, wrapping her in a hug. I half-listen as the girl unfolds a tale of woe between sobs about how she wanted to have a go on a particular piece of equipment but some boy had said she couldn’t. It would be just my luck if the boy turned out to be Isaac, so I’m relieved when she points out a completely different child. I can practically feel the woman’s hackles rising as she goes into protective mummy-bear mode, getting to her feet and beginning to advance towards the boy. I’m no expert in children, but I have a suspicion the girl was hamming up the incident to gain maximum sympathy. It’s certainly what Tash and I would have done to get each other into trouble when we were little.
No sooner has the girl’s mother started to remonstrate with the boy than another woman, evidently his mother, appears on the scene as well. Things are escalating quickly, if the jabbing fingers of the two women are anything to go by, and my suspicions about the girl are confirmed by the smirk on her face as her mother goes to war on her behalf. At least everyone is now watching them instead of Will, who chooses this moment to appear with Isaac.
‘This little man is hungry,’ he tells me. ‘Shall we make a move?’
‘Yes, absolutely,’ I reply, anxious to get out before either a full-scale war erupts between the two mothers, or I have to admit to a now indignant parent that I haven’t been entirely truthful. ‘Do you need the toilet before we go, Isaac, or can you wait until we get to McDonald’s?’
‘I need to go now,’ he announces. ‘Will can take me.’
‘Umm, no,’ I tell him. ‘Auntie Tilly will take you, because that’s what we told Mummy we’d do, OK?’
‘I want Will to take me.’ Isaac looks mutinous.
‘I tell you what,’ Will says, sinking down so he’s at the same level as Isaac. ‘Why don’t you go to the toilet with Auntie Tilly, and I’ll get our shoes so we’re ready to go when you come back?’
Isaac considers this for a moment. ‘You’ll be here? Promise?’
‘I’ll be right here,’ Will assures him.
‘Thank you,’ I mouth at him as I take Isaac’s hand. Will may be brilliant with him but I’m not sure how happy Tash would be about him taking care of Isaac’s personal needs. When we come back, Will is exactly where he said he would be, but is looking confused. ‘Everything all right?’ I ask him.
‘Fine. I just had some woman come up to me and tell me what a great dad I was. She said she’d been chatting to you earlier. Do you know anything about that?’
I can feel the blush spreading across my cheeks. ‘She made an assumption and I, umm, couldn’t be bothered to correct her,’ I explain. ‘What did you say?’
He smiles. ‘If I’m really honest, I couldn’t be bothered to correct her either. I just said you were such a great mum that I felt I needed to step up.’
‘God, we’re the very definition of smug parents, aren’t we?’ I tell him with a laugh. ‘We’d better get out of here before we dazzle them any more with our brilliance.’
* * *
We may be brilliant fake parents but, by the time we get back to Tash and Greg’s late that afternoon, Isaac is definitely flagging and so are we. As well as lunch in McDonald’s, we’ve pushed him on the swings, taught him to play Poohsticks on one of the bridges over the river, and debated the merits of pretty much every character in Thomas the Tank Engine while walking round the park.
‘Hello, darling,’ Tash says as she opens the door and he folds himself into her. ‘Have you had a nice day?’
‘The best,’ Isaac tells her excitedly, somehow finding a second lease of life. ‘I went on the big slide with Will and I had a Big Mac for lunch. Why didn’t you tell me I liked Big Macs, Mummy?’
‘He didn’t eat it all,’ I clarify as Tash looks at me questioningly. ‘But he made a really good effort.’
‘What made you try a Big Mac?’ she asks him. ‘You’ve never wanted anything except nuggets before.’
‘Will was having it,’ Isaac tells her matter-of-factly, as if that explains everything.
‘Isaac’s formed a bit of a bond with Will,’ I add quietly. ‘I think there might be a tiny bit of hero worship going on there.’
‘Can I watch Thomas with Will?’ Isaac asks as soon as we’re indoors and he’s said hello to Greg, who’s sprawled on the sofa.
‘Only if he doesn’t mind,’ Greg tells him firmly. ‘He might be tired after running around after you all day.’
‘It’s fine.’ Will settles cross-legged on the carpet and I can see Tash’s eyebrows shoot up as Isaac promptly plonks himself in his lap.
‘How has your day been?’ I ask her once we’re out of earshot in the kitchen, ostensibly making tea, although she hasn’t switched on the kettle.
‘Intense. I don’t think we’d realised how far apart we’d drifted.’
‘That doesn’t sound very encouraging.’
‘No, it is. The truth is that, without realising it, we’d kind of stopped communicating. I mean, we talk, obviously, but always either about Isaac or mundane stuff to do with work or the house. I think we’d lost sight of each other as the people we’d fallen in love with in the first place. As Greg put it, it’s sometimes hard to equate the harassed-looking woman holding a pile of dirty laundry with the girl you couldn’t get enough of when you were going out.’
‘I’d tell him to do his own bloody laundry. Cheeky bastard.’
‘I know what you mean, but it’s not about the laundry, and he does do some stuff. It’s about the bigger picture, remembering who we are and why we love each other. Today gave us the opportunity to do that.’
‘I’m glad. And the sex?’
‘We’ve, umm, decided to give the whole baby thing a rest for a while,’ she tells me softly.
‘Oh? Why?’
‘We realised there’s no rush. I’m still reasonably young, no matter what Mum says, and we decided it might be better to use this time while Isaac’s being nice to reconnect with each other rather than instantly bring another baby into the mix. I’m not going to go back on the pill, but I’ve binned the ovulation charts. We’re going to enjoy sex as and when the mood takes us, and if that leads to another baby then great. If not, well, we’ve got Isaac, haven’t we? Anyway, how did you get on?’
‘Will’s been a total star, although I’m not sure we can go to the soft-play centre again.’
‘Why not?’
‘He was causing a certain amount of jealousy among the other parents. I didn’t notice it until the woman at the next table told me what a brilliant dad she thought he was.’
‘You set her straight, right?’
I smile. ‘I didn’t, I’m afraid. She wanted to believe it, and I didn’t see the harm. Who knows, maybe she’ll go home, tell her husband about this amazing dad she saw, and he’ll up his game.’
‘I’m sure he’ll love the two of you for that. Did you find out any more about Will’s alleged vulnerability?’
‘No. To be honest, it completely slipped my mind, and it’s not the kind of conversation I think we could have had in front of Isaac anyway.’
‘You’re probably right. You do need to find out before you take things any further, though.’
‘Who says we’re taking things any further?’
‘You do, by the way you were looking at him when you arrived. You can spin yourself the “just friends” story all you want, but I know you, Tilly. He’s got under your skin, and the sooner you wake up and acknowledge that, the better.’
‘You’re just saying that because you want it to be true, so you’ve got on-demand childcare for Isaac,’ I retort with a laugh. ‘Anyway, it’s still too soon.’
‘You made one mistake.’
‘It was a pretty big one.’
‘But you have to move on. Let the idea sit for a while, and I think you’ll find I’m right. Shall we go and join the others?’
‘Weren’t we supposed to be making tea?’
‘I don’t think anyone’s that fussed, are they?’
The scene in the living room is unchanged from when we left. Will and Greg are chatting quietly, and Isaac appears to have fallen fast asleep in Will’s lap.
‘He can’t sleep now,’ Tash exclaims when she sees him. ‘He’ll never sleep tonight if he does. Isaac, darling? Wake up.’
It takes her a few goes before Isaac groggily opens his eyes, evidently disorientated for a moment before he realises where he is and smiles beatifically at Will.
‘Hop up,’ Tash instructs him. ‘I expect poor Will’s legs have gone to sleep. Why don’t I take you upstairs for a bath, hmm?’
‘Can Will come?’ He turns to face Will. ‘I’ve got lots of Thomas books upstairs. You can read to me before I go to bed.’
To my surprise, Will looks absolutely horrified by that suggestion. ‘Umm,’ he blusters. ‘I think bedtime reading is something only mums and dads do.’
‘But I want you to read!’ Isaac wails, clearly on the verge of tears. Will says nothing, but all the relaxed ease of the day is gone; he looks tense and anxious.
‘Will and I probably ought to go home,’ I tell Isaac, trying to defuse the situation.
‘I think Will’s done enough with you for one day,’ Tash adds, evidently picking up on the suddenly strange atmosphere. ‘Maybe he’ll come again another time. Would you like that?’
This seems to do the trick, as Isaac nods his assent.
‘That’s settled then. We’ll ask Auntie Tilly to bring him round again very soon.’
Thankfully, we manage to escape without Isaac crying, although I did notice a bit of a lip quiver as he said goodbye to his new hero.
‘You’ve got a friend for life there,’ I joke, trying to lighten the mood as I turn the car towards Paddock Wood.
‘It was a fun day,’ Will replies softly. ‘Thank you for inviting me.’
Silence falls, but it’s not comfortable and, after a while, I feel compelled to speak.
‘Tell me to mind my own business,’ I start. ‘But you seemed a little out of sorts at the end.’
‘I was just tired, that’s all. Isaac is lovely, but they’re intense at that age, aren’t they?’
I glance at him, but his face is impossible to read in the darkness. What he’s said makes sense; I’m definitely tired, and I didn’t even do the lion’s share of entertaining Isaac, but something about Will’s answer isn’t ringing true and, for the first time, I don’t feel completely at ease with him. I realise that, although Will and I have spent hours in each other’s company, chatting freely, it’s all been superficial. I don’t know that much about him at all, especially this vulnerability that Jonathan warned me about. There’s definitely something there and, after my experiences with Luke, there’s no way I’m getting any closer to Will if he’s keeping things back from me. A horrible thought swims into my mind. Maybe Will does have a child but he doesn’t have access for some reason, which is why he got upset when Isaac asked him to do something that a parent would normally do.
Thankfully, I’m able to dismiss that idea fairly swiftly. There’s no way Will would have been able to do all the things he did with Isaac today if he was dealing with something like that, unless he was a sociopath. I’m certain that’s not the case, but something is definitely up. Maybe I should do a bit of gentle probing after all.