Chapter 12 Meeting with a Stranger
A few days later, I sat in my car outside the Moon Café.
My nerves were all over the place. Micah convinced me to meet with John, but I was nervous.
The fear of the unknown made me want to go back home, but after going through the love letters between John and my mother, I could feel their love.
In the letters, he admitted he couldn’t leave his family.
As I continued to read, it seemed my mother gave him an ultimatum, asking him to choose between us and his family, and I knew how that turned out.
As I was lost in my thoughts, the phone rang. I looked down. It was Micah.
“Hey,” Micah said when I answered.
“Hey,” I replied.
“I’m just making sure you’re good. My offer to come join you still stands if you need me,” he offered.
“Thank you. I appreciate the offer, but I have to do this alone,” I admitted.
“I understand, and you’ll be fine. I’ll be home all day, so if you want to stop by, you can,” Micah said.
I smiled at his offer. It was nice having someone concerned about my well-being again.
“I’ll stop by. Let me stop procrastinating and get inside.
See you soon,” I said as we disconnected the call.
The clock read 1:00 p.m. It was time to meet John.
I got out of the car and locked the door. After a short walk, I entered the cafe.
“Hey, Harley, good to see you again, girl. You’re a little early for our weekend brunch,” Tess teased. She was one of the owners of Moon Cafe.
“What can I say? The food is good, so I’m stopping by on a random Thursday,” I joked. We shared a quick laugh. “I’m meeting someone here,” I said as I looked around. John sat in the back at a table on the right side. He looked just like the photos from my mother’s box, just a little older.
“I found him. I’ll see you soon, girl,” I said to Tessa as I made my way over to John.
His smile grew wider the closer I got to the table. When I finally approached, he stood up. “Harley, you are the spitting image of your mother down to the ginger hair color. You certainly didn’t get that from my side of the family,” he joked.
“I hear that all the time,” I replied, unamused with his joke.
I took a seat across from him. He made light of my appearance, but staring at him, it didn’t appear that I took anything from his side of the family.
While I stared at his face, nothing about him felt familiar.
As he sat back down, he continued to stare at me.
“I’m sorry for staring. I just can’t believe we’re meeting after all of this time,” he explained.
I nodded in agreement. As I stared into his face, I couldn’t pinpoint any similarities in our features.
When he said I was the spitting image of my mother, he wasn’t lying.
We sat in silence for a while. I wasn’t sure where to start.
Before either of us could break the silence, the server came over.
“Welcome to Moon Café. What can I get started for you guys?” she asked.
John looked at me.
“I’ll take a cup of green tea for now,” I replied.
“I’ll have a cup of coffee, black, “John said.
The server walked away to grab our drinks.
“I’m sure you have a lot of questions for me. I guess I should start out by apologizing. I’m not sure if you know anything about me,” he said.
“I know that you’re a married man that had a baby out of wedlock. My mother gave you an ultimatum to choose your family or us. Since this is our first time meeting, I will assume you chose your family. Does that sum up the situation?” I asked.
John took a deep breath as the server brought over our drinks.
“I know an apology will never be enough for me not being in your life. Your mother didn’t know I was married when we met.
She didn’t find out about my wife until after she gave birth to you.
I know it sounds bad, but one minute, I’m on one of my business trips, sitting in a diner.
The next moment, this beautiful, ginger-haired woman comes over to take my order.
After that initial time seeing her, I kept coming to the diner each time I came to town.
Eventually, I worked up the nerve to ask her out.
Once she agreed, we became inseparable when I was in town.
Whenever she mentioned traveling to my home, I told her I was working,” he explained.
“This sounds like you cared about her, so what happened?” I asked.
“Not long after I started seeing Nicole, she became pregnant with you. I continued to split my time between work, Nicole, and my family. Since I frequently traveled for work, my wife didn’t ask questions.
The problem was that leading a double life became exhausting.
When Nicole found out I was married, she gave me the ultimatum.
I didn’t want to lose her, and I couldn’t afford to leave my wife.
When you were a baby, I left Nicole alone.
I sent money for years until one day, I noticed several of my checks went uncashed.
When I came back to town, I learned Nicole had passed.
It was six months after her death,” he said.
“You learned of her death and still didn’t come see about me?” I questioned.
“Nicole spoke highly of her parents. When she gave me the ultimatum, she told me you guys would always be okay. I never doubted they would take care of you. As I had never met her parents, I wasn’t sure if she had told them about me.
I was too embarrassed and ashamed to pop up so long after,” he replied.
“I don’t understand the decision, but it was yours to make. Why now? I’m thirty years old. My mother has been gone for twenty-four years. Why did you come look for me now?” I questioned.
“For quite some time now, I’ve gotten this nagging sense to make amends.
I’ll admit I could’ve done things very differently.
I’m asking you to forgive my cowardly ways.
If I had divorced my wife, I would’ve lost everything.
My kids were older than you and had never been apart from me.
It was a choice between the three children who had me in their lives day to day.
Or choose the child who never knew me. It was a tough decision with no right outcome.
I’m ashamed to admit any of this to you.
I’ve held this in for so long. I know there are no words to replace what you missed out on in life.
You deserved to have a present father just as much as my other children.
I hope you find it in your heart to forgive me one day.
It won’t be easy, and I don’t deserve it, but it doesn’t hurt to ask,” John replied.
I took some packets of sugar out of the holder on the table. After stirring two into my tea, I took a sip. The meeting felt like a waste of time. I was numb to his apology.
“I’m not sure if I want to get to know you now.
When I was a little girl, I wondered why God chose me not to have parents.
It was hard after Mom died. My Nana and PopPop are amazing, but they didn’t replace my mom.
I always hoped that one day you would come to get me.
You never came. I just don’t think I need to open old wounds by having you in my life,” I explained.
I looked at John while his eyes watered, and he wiped them.
“I made a horrible decision all those years ago. When I found out your mother died, part of me died too. Part of me wanted to come get you, but how would I explain any of this? If you don’t want a relationship, I’ll respect your wishes. I’m just glad I got the chance to meet you,” he expressed.
“I forgave you a long time ago. My grandparents gave me a great life. I think, in life, we have to live with the consequences of our actions. Thanks for reaching out, but I think it’s best if I go,” I said as my chest tightened.
John didn’t move from his chair. He just looked at me with sad eyes.
As I left the cafe, I wasn’t sure if I had made the right decision.
At that moment, I couldn’t imagine anything keeping me away from Reign.
No matter how he made it seem, he chose money and his other kids over me.
If he really cared about me, he could have come to see me at any time.
He sent the letter to my grandparents’ home, so he knew how to find me, so there wasn’t anything he could tell me.
I sat in my car all alone and felt my shoulders sag.
The confidence I exuded as I left the café left my body.
An ugly cry came over me as I loudly wept over the conversation, replaying it repeatedly while snot escaped from my nose.
My eyes stung as I sifted through the car to find some tissue.
The pain in my chest reminded me of feelings I had been holding in. I needed to let it go.
I’d never forget the nights I cried out because I had no parents, all the school dances, and parent-teacher conferences.
It was hard growing up as the only little ginger-haired girl, but being the only ginger-haired girl with no parents made it even worse.
I had to have thick skin because kids were cruel.
I meant it when I said I had forgiven him, but I no longer desired to have him in my life.
I decided not to see Micah on my way home.
While I was proud of myself for speaking up for myself, there was another part of me that was really sad.
As I sat across from John, all I could think of was what my life could have been.
Would my life have been any better if he were around?
If he had been around, could my mother’s accident have been avoided?
The questions continued to fill my head as I went back toward the house.