Chapter 6
Six
ALEX
So many emotions run through my mind that I had to get away from her. I didn’t mean to react the way I did. She bumped into me… and time stopped.
I found her .
I found my Isa.
The way I immediately went from relieved to furious was slightly scary—even for me. For years, I’ve convinced myself she was dead because it was the only thing that made sense. She had to be dead because the girl we knew back then would have never willingly walked away from us.
I’ve spent the last thirty minutes driving in circles because I had to get away from the school and everything that reminded me of her.
I have a daughter.
That is impossible to wrap my head around.
Yesterday, the thought of having children had never crossed my mind. Today, I’m a father.
Grace doesn’t know who I am to her, but she should. I need to tell someone about this to talk it through so I don’t do something stupid. I know it’s almost midnight in Germany, but I still pick up the phone to call the one person I know who will understand.
“Hey, big brother!” A high-pitched voice comes through the phone.
“Freedom, I am livid!” I spit out as I grip the steering wheel so tight my hands ache.
“Well, I didn’t do it!” She laughs.
“I didn’t do it either!” her best friend Matt yells in the background.
“I found Isa.” Silence “Are you there?
“Umm, yeah.” Another long pause. “You found her? Where did you find her? Do you mean you actually found her? Is she alive or…” She trails off.
“She’s alive and living life like nothing ever happened,” I say through gritted teeth.
“You mean she’s just been hiding from us this whole time? How did we not find her?”
“Are you sitting down? Because you need to be for this one. She was pregnant, and that’s why she decided to run away. We didn’t find her because she never gave us her real name or any truthful information about herself, for that matter.” I’m gripping the steering wheel so hard it feels as though I might break it.
“Oh shit,” Matt gasps.
“I have a daughter, and I’m not entirely sure what to do with that information.” I turn the car around to head back to my hotel.
“How do you know she’s even yours? That could be just one more thing Isa—or whatever her name is—has lied about.”
“She didn’t want me to know about her, but she didn’t deny it when I confronted her. Well, more like blew up on her. If you saw her you would understand. Hell, her name is Freedom Grace, for Christ’s sake.”
“Wait, she named her after me?”
I pinch the bridge of my nose and let out a long, slow breath. “Is that all you got out of that? Freedom, I had a right to know I had a daughter. I’ve missed out on so much of her life just because she didn’t want her kid to have a fugitive for a father.”
“Well, I do kind of see her point,” she says.
“Really, Free? There’s no excuse not to at least tell him!” Matt replies, sounding as frustrated by Freedom as I am.
“Thank you, Matt! It’s nice to have somebody on my side.”
“What’s the girl like? Did you actually meet her? Are you going to get to be a part of her life now?”
“Not as her father, for now. She’s a student in the program I’m teaching. She goes by Grace. She’s one of the youngest students here, and she is amazing. She’s incredibly book-smart, especially when it comes to computers. She lacks a little common sense, though. She really wants to be a computer programmer.”
“Well, the apple doesn’t fall far, does it, Alex?”
“No, I guess not. It’s weird I felt an instant connection with this kid, and I didn’t know why.” I think back to one of our first conversations, and my heart hurts. “She knew her dad didn’t know about her. She told me that she hopes when she finally does meet him, he’s proud of her. I just want to go to her and tell her that I’m her dad and I am proud of her.”
“I know you’re upset, but you can’t tell her anything without talking to Isa first.”
“I’m sure if she had it her way, Grace would never know about me. If I don’t tell her, she may never know, and I will never get to be her father,” I sigh.
“If you do something crazy you still may never get to be her father. Talk to Isa. I’m sure it wasn’t easy keeping a secret like that for so long. This is our Isa we are talking about. She wouldn’t purposely hurt you or any of us, for that matter.”
“Free, I love that you always try to see the good in people, but with what I know, how could she even begin to be the same person she was then.”
“Aside from finding out you have a child, how do you feel about seeing her again? We all know how you felt about her. Are you okay?”
“I don’t know. I handled the whole situation terribly. When I realized it was her standing in front of me, I was relieved to finally have answers. Then Grace called her Mom, and everything clicked into place. I reacted terribly. Thirteen years of anger just exploded to the surface. “
“Don’t let your anger control the situation. Sit down and have a civil conversation, and I’m sure you guys can work something out when it comes to little Freedom.” There’s a smile in her voice as she says the last words.
“I called you because I thought you would be just as pissed off as I am. I didn’t want you to be rational about it,” I tell her.
“No, don’t get me wrong, I’m angry and hurt. I may understand her reasoning for not telling you, but she could have told me. The three of us—me, her, and Jen,—were best friends, and she abandoned us all when we needed her the most. That being said, there is a little girl we want a chance to get to know, and we can’t do that by making life harder for her mother.”
“I know you’re right, but knowing what to do and actually doing it are two very different things. I’m going to go back to my room and figure out what my next steps are. Thanks for listening to my rant even if you did make me think rationally.”
“Any time, Alex.”
She disconnects and I take a deep breath to contemplate things.
“All right, class I’m giving you the last hour off. Go work on your end-of-program reports and your projects. You all are dismissed.” All the students leave, but Grace is still here. Slowly, she gathers her things and walks to my desk.
“Mr. Schwartz,” she says hesitantly.
“What can I do for you, Ms. Summers?” I stack the papers on my desk and put them in my bag.
“I know you don’t like my mom, but please don’t take it out on me.”
My head snaps up to look at her. “What are you talking about?”
“You looked so angry on Saturday when you met my mom, and you’ve barely spoken to me since. I asked you for help on the project yesterday, and you said no. You haven’t called on me to answer any of the questions even though I’ve raised my hand first. It sure seems like you are avoiding me.” She hugs her book to her chest.
“Have I really done all that?” I don’t believe I’ve treated her any differently, but she nods. “Look, I’m not going to lie, your mother and I have some issues, but I promise I’m not taking it out on you. I haven’t purposely been treating you like that. I just have a lot of work to do for this program.” I pause for a moment, wrestling with telling her the truth, but decide against it. “As for the project, I was busy after class yesterday, just as I am today, but if you really need help, come by during my office hours tomorrow. You’re so smart that I figured you would have finished it by now.”
“Well, I thought about doing something simple, but there’s no fun in that.”
Of course she would choose something complicated. She’s my child, after all. “All right, get as far as you can on your own, then come see me tomorrow.”
I finish gathering up my things and walk down the hall to my office. I know what I need to do; I’ve just been putting it off.
I log onto my computer, pull up Grace’s student profile, and find her emergency contact, Marissa Summers, her mother.
I type the number into my cell phone and hit call. I hold my breath as it rings, only letting it out once it goes to voicemail. I repeat this three more times.
Finally, I grab my office phone and dial the number. After two rings, the line connects.
“Hello,” she answers.
“Hello, Isa.”
“Is Grace okay?” She sounds frantic.
“Yes, she’s fine.”
“Then why is her teacher calling me?”
“Well, I tried calling you from my cell, but you didn’t answer.”
“I don’t answer numbers I don’t know, and I have nothing to say to you,” she scoffs.
“We have a daughter. You may not want to talk to me, but there is a lot to say.” I’m trying so hard to keep my voice calm and not yell.
“What do you want me to say? You wouldn’t let me apologize. I’m sorry you missed out on years of Grace’s life, but I did what I thought was best for her. If I had to do it all over again, I would do the same thing to keep her safe.”
“I know. We can’t change what has been done, but we can decide what happens from this point forward. I want to be in her life, and I want to help raise my daughter. She’s my responsibility, too, Isa. All I’m asking is that you meet with me on Saturday since you’ll already be in town. I don’t want to fight with you; I just want to talk. We can meet for dinner and come up with a plan like adults, please” I practically beg.
“All right, I can do that, but if you start screaming at me again, the conversation is over, and the next time you hear from me, it will be through my lawyer.”
“I’m really sorry about how I handled things. I shouldn’t have lost my temper, but I was hurt and angry, and I wasn’t thinking before acting.”
“I mean what I just said. Is there anything else?”
I take a deep breath and run my hand through my hair. “Can I ask for one more favor?
“What’s that?”
“Can you bring baby books or photo albums or whatever you may have from her childhood? I want to see what I’ve missed out on.”
“Yeah, that’s a fair request.”
“So what’s it like raising a mini-me?” I can’t help but blurt out.
I hear her let out a chuckle. “Hell, it’s pure hell sometimes. No electronics are safe around her. You know, I feel bad for your mother. That woman must have been an absolute saint to put up with you as a kid.”
“Well, she always said she hoped I had a kid just like me so I would pay for all the hell I put her through. I guess you’re the one who’s been paying for that, though.”
“I take back what I said about her being a saint. She’s the devil; a saint wouldn’t curse me like that.”
“I’ll see you Saturday, Isa.” I can’t help the smile growing on my face.
On Saturday, I will have to face her again. For Grace’s sake, I will put my anger aside and be civil.