Chapter 28
“What?” Haylee blinked as Febe’s face softened before her eyes. She had imagined many different things Febe might say in the moments when her synapses connected. This hadn’t even made the top one hundred.
Febe flicked her gaze to Allegra and then back to Haylee. “I think it might be time for the three of us to try out that new restaurant downstairs and talk about this properly.”
Haylee looked over at Allegra. Allegra’s smile lit up like a child on Christmas morning. Returning her gaze back to Febe, Haylee narrowed her eyes.
“So now you’re interested? Because you’re scared Allegra might be involved?” Haylee wasn’t entirely sure what she was getting at. But the vibe between the two of them wafted around the room and mixed confusingly with Haylee’s emotions. They were their own fucked up combination of grief and anger.
“No.” Febe’s face returned to its usual thin lipped, eyebrow raising sharpness. “I’m interested because in two minutes of yelling at me…” Febe’s pause for effect was not lost on Haylee. It must have shown on her face as Febe gave the smallest of nods before continuing, “…you’ve explained your point better than the nervous half-demands in my office.”
Swallowing audibly over the lump in her throat, Haylee kept her mouth shut. This had never been a strong point for her, but this was too important. She had to pull it back in, at least a little bit.
“Well I’m starving, and I’ve heard the restaurant makes a mean baba ghanoush.” Allegra clapped her hands as if to get everyone’s attention where it should be.
A small sound, a sound she hoped the others took for a laugh, escaped Haylee’s lips, and she nodded. She could have kissed Allegra on the mouth, long and hard and maybe even added some tongue. As the tension continued to sizzle between Haylee and Febe, she reconsidered that idea. She could do this lunch and see where it went. She also tried not to get too excited, or too hopeful at having seen the previously unknown softness that might actually exist in her boss. Or get her hopes up that after this Febe was still her boss.
But this was something.
Something more than she had expected, especially after the dread of yet another rejection had fallen like a heavy stone into the pit of her stomach. She wasn’t sure about the baba ghanoush—her mind had drifted to the pint of wallowing ice cream she had intended to buy on her way home. She might still need that later.
Trailing behind the two powerful women, Haylee held back the hysteria of feeling like the rebellious daughter of two women who were trying out the new parenting technique of positive actions having good consequences instead of always focusing on the negative.
The new restaurant turned out to be a five-minute walk from Allegra’s office.
Hardly downstairs.
Haylee zoned out of the chatter between Allegra and Febe as soon as the term budget quarter came up. Haylee imagined a spreadsheet popping up over their heads, a little like in The Sims computer games.
Guilt hit her hard as they stepped into the restaurant.
She had felt guilt in her life, more than once, but not like this. She’d lied to Febe. She’d gone behind her back to talk to Allegra. And yet, this guilt was so much deeper than that. That hysterical chuckle bubbled again in her chest. She forced it down, accepting the pain as it lodged behind her breastbone.
Haylee had no reason to feel this kind of guilt, especially over Cherish. Cherish had done nothing but stand in the way, too scared to upset her precious Ms. Aarts. Well, Haylee had upset her, and now she might finally get that chance to make good on her desire to help others.
For the first few minutes, which dragged on like years, the conversation centered entirely on thank yous to contractors and donators, and the perusal of menus. None of this was relevant information to her. So she kept her mouth shut and only half-listened.
Haylee’s chest tightened as her eyes raced down the prices column.
With a slap of leather, surely they weren’t real leather, against the tabletop, Haylee pulled her eyes to Febe who had placed her menu with a little too much force onto the space beside her plate.
Why were there plates?
Haylee sighed, and when she met Febe’s eyes, she realized the menu had been placed down with precisely the amount of force Febe had intended. When did Febe ever do something unintentionally?
“I’ll be paying for today, seeing as we’ll be discussing business.” Febe’s widened eyes and raised eyebrows gave Haylee no option to argue or debate.
“All right.” Haylee managed to squeak out.
“Fantastic.” Allegra’s light voice kept Haylee from saying anything else. “In that case, I will have more than just the salad or the baba ghanoush and bread.”
Haylee scanned the menu again, choosing from the price range instead of the food itself. She had been tempted to pick the most expensive item but, even with the anger that still simmered beneath for Febe, she simply couldn’t bring herself to.
When the waiter came, Febe took command over ordering drinks and demanding entrees for the table, and deferred dessert until later.
“Now.” Febe folded her hands in front of her, eyeing Haylee over as if the rest of the world out there didn’t exist anymore. “Tell me what you told Allegra.”
“What do you mean?” Haylee fought to catch her breath. She had to focus. She had to remember what the point of all of this was. She had to stop being such a chickenshit when it came to her boss.
As though Febe could read the very thoughts in Haylee’s mind, she remained silent. Why did Febe always do that? Like the world would cater to her silence an instant faster than if she’d just simply ask what she wanted to ask.
Haylee closed her eyes against the scrutiny and remembered the Febe Aarts she had read about. The intimidating but brilliant entrepreneur who might, despite the reports of her icy facade, care about Haylee’s pain and the pain of those on the fringes, the ones always left behind to deal with their grief alone and terrified in a darkness they were lucky to ever be able to pull themselves out of.
“Tyler was the big brother me and my own brother, Jackson, needed. They were best friends, and when he died, our world fell apart.” Though the tears stung her eyes, she held them back while she told her story. Not the details. They remained her own, locked away and precious. As soon as she was finished, the weight had shifted and exhaustion pulled at her. Why was this so tiring?
“How long did you struggle?” Allegra asked.
Haylee couldn’t bite back the sarcastic laugh. She did, however, cut it off short.
“Still do.” Haylee forced her lips into a smile that lasted less than a second as she looked down at the plate full of exquisite and expensive food in front of her. “For years I’ve struggled, but I’m one of the lucky ones. Me and my brother—we’ve had each other.”
“Why didn’t you tell me about all of this sooner?” Febe asked. The crispness in her voice held a thickness Haylee didn’t understand. She wasn’t sure she wanted to.
“Because.” Haylee took a deep breath and raised her head, meeting Febe’s eyes almost as though she were an equal. “You’re the Febe Aarts. You’re not exactly easy to talk to, or to share with. And I doubt my weakness would be appreciated in your stoic empire.”
The silence zipped around the table as though it were a physical wave.
“She doesn’t know about Bernie?” Allegra asked, her voice even softer than Haylee thought possible.
“No,” Febe said quietly.
“I do.” Haylee wished just once her mouth would wait to open until her brain had given it the command.
Both sets of eyes snapped to her, like sights on rifles. The comparison sent goosebumps over her skin.
“Excuse me?” What little edge that had seemed shorn off of Febe’s tone returned, and it brought reinforcements.
“I didn’t, not until the gala.”
“Cherish.” Febe nodded, and Haylee knew that if she didn’t stop things with Cherish, the moment she heard about this betrayal it would be over regardless of what Haylee did or said.
“She wanted to help me understand why the gala was so important, and why last year couldn’t happen again.” Haylee cringed. She should really learn to just shut up already.
“And still you didn’t feel comfortable enough to share why this is so important to you?” Febe eyed her down, and Haylee shrunk in her chair as best as she could.
“No.” Haylee had no words, no reasons and no justifications.
Silence settled over them. Febe’s face had gone pale, and Allegra couldn’t stop looking from her food to Febe, as if quietly checking in on her but too afraid to ask. Haylee finally took her fork and put a bite into her mouth, but she barely tasted the food. Wasn’t expensive food supposed to be good? She frowned, because no flavor lingered on her tongue, nor made a dent in her brain.
The foot against her knee startled her, and she jerked her leg up into the top of the table. Cringing, Haylee rubbed her knee and tried to play it off like she wasn’t an idiot. When she looked up to see if anyone had noticed her obvious mishap, Febe had a steely look on her face and Allegra’s cheeks were flushed pink.
She was just about to break the silence and ask what they were talking about next when Allegra put her fork down, the metal clanging against the plate with a clatter.
“So your place or mine?” Allegra asked. But what the hell was she actually asking? Because that same tension that had been in the room with these two so many times was back right at the forefront, and Febe was blushing.
Oh my God! Febe’s blushing!
Haylee spluttered on the mouthful of water she had taken. To her surprise Febe’s lips turned up in a smile Haylee didn’t even know she was capable of. That was a satisfied smirk, one filled with passion and teasing and arousal.
“Your office.” The emphasis on office wasn’t lost on Haylee, but Febe pinned her with a sharp look to make sure of that.
There was a definite subtext to the conversation that Haylee was supposed to be missing. But she wasn’t. She was well aware of everything Allegra and Febe weren’t saying, and she would bet the rest of her bank account and more that Cherish had not one clue they were fucking.
“So we’re going back to the Holbrook Foundation?” Haylee tried to turn the conversation from the steamy looks between the two women and maybe get them all back on track. But even as she spoke, it was so hard to want to intervene and have all that bottled up tension on her.
“No,” Febe retorted sharply.
“I’m sorry. I’m confused then.” Haylee ducked her chin and took another bite, trying to figure out what she’d missed. Maybe she wasn’t as good at observations as she thought.
“I don’t have the budget.” Allegra’s voice was smooth balm compared to Febe’s sharpness.
How the two of them ever managed to balance each other—no, scratch that. They’d be the perfect balance, actually. Maybe that was what Febe had found in Bernie when they’d met, and maybe that had been exactly what she was missing.
“I’ll make the budget for it.”
“So will this be under Holbrook’s umbrella or Wellbeing Works?”
What the hell was Haylee missing?
She flicked her gaze from Allegra to Febe, who didn’t even seem to remember that she was still at the table. Febe straightened her shoulders with a slight wiggle, like a pussy cat getting ready to pounce on her prey. Haylee’s stomach dropped, but she had faith that Allegra could hold her own.
“Both.”
“It doesn’t work like that. Our budget is set for the year.” Allegra pushed, and Febe didn’t retreat.
Haylee shoved another forkful of food between her lips, missing a little that fell onto her chin. She lifted her napkin to wipe it away, still watching the ping-pong match of egos in front of her.
“I’ll make it work.”
“You’re not in charge of our budget, Febe. I have a board I have to answer to, and I can’t just add in an entire position and project without going through the necessary processes first.” Allegra put her hands flat on the table. Was she going to get up and leave? Walk out?
What would that mean for Haylee, because it sounded like Febe was arguing for Haylee’s project? But she couldn’t be sure. Because every time before, Febe had shot it down, and she hadn’t actually said that it was a go yet, had she?
“Fine. I’ll pay for it. Five years.”
“Five years?” Haylee muttered through the food in her mouth. But neither Allegra nor Febe glanced at her. Was Febe talking about a five-year contract with Haylee for this?
“She’ll be a liaison, under Wellbeing Works’s payroll, but supervised by Holbrook.” Febe crossed her arms, her face set. That was the look she gave to all those therapists who walked in and tried to argue with her. There was no moving the great Febe Aarts now. She’d made her decision.
“Liaison?” Allegra murmured, her lips pushing together as she narrowed her gaze. “And what kind of raise are you giving to her immediate supervisor?”
“Nothing.”
“Starting services from scratch, building the framework and foundation for it, and then continuing to grow it isn’t exactly work for the weak-hearted. It’ll take at least an extra five to ten hours a week to get this moving before the end of the year.”
“End of the year?” Febe scoffed. “I want it running by Veteran’s Day.”
Haylee’s stomach sank. Veteran’s Day was in seven weeks. She couldn’t get any of this going that quickly, could she? Then again, why was she even assuming she would be in that role? It was her idea, but Febe hadn’t said one way or another. Cherish would be devastated if she had to leave the office, if she wasn’t working for Febe anymore.
“That’s impossible. Don’t be ridiculous.”
“I’m not.” Febe flicked her gaze to Haylee. “What do you say?”
Haylee froze, another fork full of food positioned right at her lips. “Uh…what?”
“You’ll be a liaison between Holbrook and us, working for both as we get this project started. Five years minimum. I’ll guarantee funding for your full-time paid position. Once you have enough donations to cover your position, I’ll shift to funding a second while you work on your fundraising skills. But you’re going to have to get better at sharing your narrative. Crying in front of businessmen won’t get you anywhere in life.”
She still couldn’t believe what she was hearing.
“Allegra will mentor you and be your supervisor.”
“With a seven percent raise for the added hours.” Allegra added, her eyebrow raised, and her look determined.
Febe waved her hand off to the side, resigned. “Three percent.”
“Five.”
Febe’s lips thinned, glaring at Allegra. “Three.”
“Deal.” Allegra sighed heavily, her face lighting up in a huge smile. “You drive a hard bargain, Febe.”
Febe chuckled. “I always get what I want.”
There. There was that damn look again. Haylee shrank into her seat even more. She had no idea what to say or even how to address it, but it made her ridiculously uncomfortable to be sitting there as an intruder into whatever else was going on under the table.
Oh fuck.
That foot hadn’t been unintentional.
Haylee’s cheeks burned.
“We’ll hash out the details in the next few weeks and you can start full time with Allegra in the next three to four.” Febe caught Haylee’s attention, giving her a curious look. “I’ll tell Cherish to start hiring your replacement.”
Haylee’s heart sank. That wasn’t a conversation she was looking forward to.
“Let’s set up another lunch meeting for next week. Same time and place?”
“I’ll put it in my calendar,” Allegra answered.
What was Haylee to say, really? She’d gotten exactly what she wanted.
Hadn’t she?