Chapter 2
Chapter Two
Graham
I didn’t want to leave Sterling by himself after our discussion. Especially not after everything he’d been through. Hearing his tormentor’s voice in his head? That was scary shit. I was worried about Sterling and wanted him as close as possible so I could keep an eye on him.
But I had hockey practice, and Coach would have my ass on a silver platter if I skipped.
It wouldn’t matter to him that I was trying to help a friend through something.
Everyone on the team knew I was bisexual, including Coach, and he’d just see it as me skipping out on practice and my team for a bit of fun.
I sighed and quickly got dressed in my gear before skating out onto the ice where most of everyone was already at.
I began warming up with everyone else, trying to get my head in the game so I could make sure practice went well.
I needed it to go well because unlike my best friend, I didn’t have wealthy parents I could fall back on.
Hockey was my future. Becoming part of the NHL was my sole focus—well, besides maybe trying to get my best friend to fall in love with me.
My parents had done the best for me that they could.
My childhood was filled with happy memories, and they loved me dearly.
I knew I could turn to them when I was in need.
But financially, our lives kind of sucked.
College was only part of my future because of hockey.
I’d busted my ass in high school to get a full-ride scholarship.
My mom, who had been working two dead-end jobs so she and Dad could afford for me to play, had burst into tears when I got my scholarship.
And to the school in the nation that had the best hockey team at that.
Dad had been working long, exhausting hours for as long as I could remember as a general laborer, and that day, when he smiled at me, I knew he thought all those exhausting days and all of the traveling he had to do for work was worth it.
And I wanted to continue to prove to my parents that supporting this dream of mine and working long, exhausting hours was not in vain.
“Bro, what the fuck is up with you?” I heard Collin ask. I glanced over to see who he was talking to and ground my teeth together at the sight of Darren next to him.
“Thought I was finally going to get some from Sterling, but the asshole can’t even get hard. Can you believe that?” Darren asked him. “Fucking asshole wasn’t even worth the time I spent trying to get him in bed.”
I jerked to my feet, my blood pulsing hotly in my veins. “Watch what the fuck you say,” I growled. I wasn’t above pummeling someone on the fucking ice—not even a teammate.
He barked out a laugh. “What—you think you’re going to get some from him, Graham? Good luck. He’s a prude and doesn’t put out for anybody. Not worth the time, if you ask—”
I body-slammed him to the ice. Grabbing the front of his helmet, I yanked his head up and smashed it back to the ice. “Don’t fucking talk about him like that!” I barked.
Darren flipped me off of him before jamming his elbow into my side hard enough to knock the air from my lungs. When he tried to stand up, I kicked my legs out, knocking him back to his ass.
“Break it up!” Coach barked, storming onto the ice. “Darren, Graham, get up now!” he shouted.
I stood up from the ice but couldn’t resist shoulder-checking Darren hard once he got up, making him stumble.
The only reason he didn’t fall was because Collin steadied him from the other side before quickly retreating.
They all knew I wasn’t one to mess with, and everyone on the team knew how protective I was of Sterling.
Darren was lucky I’d even let him close to my best friend, but that was before I knew how much of a fucking douchebag he was.
Now, I was regretting it. Sorely. Because if I had just told Sterling that messing around with Darren wasn’t a good idea, then he wouldn’t be suffering right now.
Sterling listened to me when it came to advice.
I could’ve saved him from the shit he was going through.
“Both of you get in my office,” Coach snarled. “The rest of you start practice.”
I quickly followed behind Coach to his office, and I could feel Darren at my back, though I didn’t turn to look at him. But if he opened his mouth about Sterling again, I was going to snatch that helmet off his head and bash him in his face with it.
“Sit.” I dropped into a chair across from Coach’s desk, and Darren took the one next to me. “I don’t know what just happened out on that ice, but it will not happen again, am I clear? Both of you have too much going for you to allow whatever is going on to destroy your careers.”
“Yes, sir,” I grunted. Darren nodded.
“Boy, I cannot hear pucks rattling around inside your head,” Coach snapped. “Use your voice that you were so eager to use to get Graham riled up.”
“Sorry, Coach,” Darren muttered, but not before he shot me a dark look. I just rolled my eyes. Asshole. “I understand.”
“Good. And you’ll both understand why you’ll be doing extra drills after practice is over and why you’ll also be helping the staff clean the rink and bleachers, yes?”
I bit back a sigh. Fuck. That was even longer I had to be away from Sterling. It made my skin crawl. But nonetheless, I nodded and said, “I understand, Coach.”
Darren mumbled an affirmative as well. Coach waved us out. “Get out of my office and get back on the ice. I expect silence from both of you unless you absolutely need to speak.”
We quickly left the office. Darren shot me a scathing look. “Good fucking going, Hurley,” he quietly snapped, calling me by my last name.
I cut him a side-eye. “Maybe if you weren’t so busy running your mouth about Sterling, this shit wouldn’t have happened.”
Before he could retort even a single word, we stepped out onto the ice. I skated away from him and joined in on the drill, focusing on practice and letting everything else fade away for the moment.
That familiar tingle I usually got when my best friend was nearby raced up my spine, letting me know Sterling was watching me.
I hadn’t heard anyone come in, but I could just feel when he was close to me like a sixth sense.
Turning around, I grinned at the sight of him—an automatic response. “Hey,” I greeted, waving at him.
“You’re late,” he said, frowning at me. A slight grimace passed over his face before his usual mask fell into place when he saw Darren behind me, coming down the stands on the other side. “What happened?”
“Altercation,” I told him with a shrug. He sighed, giving me that look. I hated that look; it always made me feel like a child. I chewed on my bottom lip for a moment before shooting him a sheepish smile.
“You can’t go around fighting, Graham,” he chastised as he came closer. “You know that. This is your future. Don’t jeopardize that.”
“Oh, look—it’s you. Graham, man, I’m telling you. If you’ve been sticking around him for the past couple of years hoping to get laid,” Sterling’s face paled, “it’s not—”
A growl rumbled through my chest, and before I even realized what I was doing, I was skating up to Sterling to close the distance between us.
Gripping the back of his neck, I didn’t even give myself a chance to warn him with nonverbal cues before I was bringing my face closer to his, but I stopped right before my lips met his.
I would not contribute to the darkness in his mind.
I refused to, no matter how badly I wanted to put Darren in his place.
Sterling was the one who closed the remaining distance between us, his lips softly pressing on mine. Every part of my body came alive at the feel of his smooth, warm mouth against mine. Moaning low in my throat, I gently tugged him closer, my heart racing in my chest.
Kissing Sterling was everything I had hoped it would be. And yet, it was still so much more. My lungs expanded, and it felt like every color in the world suddenly became brighter. My heart grew so much, I thought it was going to burst out of my chest.
“Fuck,” Sterling whispered once we finally pulled apart to breathe. I stared at him, my soul just about ready to explode. I was so in love with him. So deep. There was no crawling out of this.
Sterling had the power to fucking destroy me. And honestly, I would let him if it meant I got to be his for even just a minute of my life. Hell, even just a mere second.
I turned to Darren, a smirk curving my lips. “Oh, he gets plenty hard,” I lied to Darren, wanting to bruise his ego. It was too damn big anyway. And he was a fucking dick for making Sterling feel like less of a man for having ED. “Turns out you just didn’t do it for him.”
Sterling’s lips parted in surprise. Darren’s face turned red, and muttering something under his breath I couldn’t hear, he skated off the ice, no doubt heading to the locker room. I turned back to Sterling. “What time is it?” I asked him.
“Almost seven,” he told me. I grimaced. God, it really was late, and Sterling needed to eat.
“Let me get changed,” I told him, “and then we’ll go grab food, yeah?”
He swallowed thickly, nodding his head at me. “And talk about that kiss?” he asked quietly, his nerves clear in his voice. God, I loved how brave he was. How he faced everything in life head-on, even if it made him nervous or scared.
I nodded. “Definitely talking about that kiss.” There was no way in hell I was letting this chance slide. And it was that—a chance. It could go one of two ways, but since Sterling was the one to complete the kiss, my hopes were high that he felt the same way I did.
My fingers were crossed that I wasn’t let down.
Sterling took a seat in the booth across from me, setting his plate on the table.
I’d driven us to a small, buffet-style restaurant.
I was hungry enough to put away an entire cow after the grueling practice I’d just suffered, and buffets were more Sterling’s style when he was getting back into eating again.
It gave him more options of what he could put together that wouldn’t leave him feeling nauseous later.
He’d put rice with gravy, a small baked chicken leg, and green beans on his plate, which was practically nothing compared to the pile of food I had on mine.
But hell, at least he was eating. That was all I could ask for when he was having rough days.
It was better than not eating at all. I’d just have to make sure he snacked throughout the day tomorrow.
“So, the kiss?” he muttered, forking a green bean into his mouth right after. As if he thought if he kept his mouth occupied, he might not say anything else. It was kind of amusing actually, though I’d never tell him that.
“You know I’m bi,” I reminded him.
He grunted. “Pretty sure the entire campus knows you’re bi,” he told me, amusement glimmering in his eyes. That was true. I’d dated other people and fucked around a good bit. Sterling had dated too, so I hadn’t felt so bad about it. I never thought I would have this opportunity with Sterling.
I snickered. “I started crushing on you the moment you walked into our dorm room and said you were my roommate and told me you don’t like being touched,” I told him honestly.
His eyes widened, and he choked on his green bean for a moment before grabbing his water and chugging some down.
I waited until he set his glass down before I started speaking again.
“I thought it would fade with time like my crushes normally do, but every moment I spent with you just made me like you more.” I swallowed thickly.
“I like you more than I’ve ever liked anyone, Sterling.
And I know that may be a lot to swallow and digest. If you don’t feel the same way, I’m okay with that.
I never want to destroy our friendship.”
“You like me?” he asked in astonishment. Like that was the wildest idea he’d ever heard of. As if me liking him was something impossible.
I shrugged a little. “Like might be too light of a term, but yeah. We’ll go with that for now.”
He set his fork down and rubbed his hands together.
That nervous tic of his was so cute. “I, um, I like you, too, Graham.” My heart was going to burst right out of my chest and fly up to the sky.
“You’re the only person outside of my parents and my therapist that can touch me, and that…
that’s pretty fucking incredible. I feel safe with you. ”
I held my hand out to him. His emotions were heightened, which meant any touching needed to be on his terms. He placed his hand in mine.
Curling my fingers around his hand, I gave it a gentle squeeze.
“One thing I can promise you—swear on my life, in fact—is that I will never make you feel unsafe with me, Sterling. I will always be a safe haven for you.”
Sterling smiled at me. “Thank you,” he said quietly. “I needed to hear that more than you think.”
I know, baby, I said silently. I knew Sterling better than he thought I did, but that was okay. I’d spend the rest of my life being his safe haven and taking care of him every way I could so long as he let me.