Chapter Six #4
“Or he wanted to surprise her,” Lou suggested, always the optimist. “What if he’s been thinking all this time and he needed to see how she would react. Without preparation. Now he knows that she’ll leap into his arms. I’m honestly surprised he didn’t propose tonight.”
Kenzie held a hand up. “Oh, we’re not there, and I would not allow that to happen at my sister’s wedding.”
But it would happen. She hoped it would happen. Maybe in Europe. She would say yes. She would make that leap because when she’d known she was going to die the only thing she wanted was a few more minutes with him. They were meant to be, but she couldn’t force that on him.
“Kenz, I love you. I know you’ve been waiting for this guy for a long time, but he’s damaged. Like seriously damaged,” Kala said.
Chelsea cleared her throat.
Kala shrugged. “Yeah, I know. Super damaged, and guess what, Aunt? Like knows like. Ben is in a bad place. He’s wrapped in guilt over what happened to his high school girlfriend.
He’s pretty much lost everything to Manny Huisman.
Even the car accident where Deanna Fisher died affected him physically.
He was being scouted by major league teams for his pitching skill.
After that accident, he didn’t play again.
He finished up his degree, joined CSIS, and started working on taking down Huisman. ”
“Which is a good and productive thing to do.” Kenzie wasn’t sure why she was arguing since she thought the same thing, but she couldn’t leave it. She felt the deep need to defend her lover. “He’s trying to stop that man from ruining the world. The same way we are.”
“Ah, but we’re not obsessed with him,” Kala replied. “We don’t think about him night and day. Look, Huisman did spend time trying to sow dissent and suspicion between our team and the Canadians. Do you honestly think he’s not working Ben the same way?”
She couldn’t help but think about that phone call he’d taken. He’d told her it was work, but she’d seen that look on his face before. It was rage and cold calculation, and there was no small amount of guilt in there. She’d known who had been in his ear, but he hadn’t wanted to talk about it.
So she’d held his hand and led him to the dance floor.
He would talk to her when he was ready, and honestly, given their jobs, he might not talk to her about it at all.
She had to make peace with the fact that there would be a wall between them when they weren’t straight up working together.
She would have to keep things from him, too.
Could this work?
At least when she’d danced with him he’d seemed to relax.
He’d swayed to the music with her, and she’d felt him kiss the top of her head like she was precious.
They’d stayed on that dance floor for the longest time, simply existing in each other’s space.
Their space. Making a new place where they were together.
That was all that mattered, after all.
Was she being na?ve?
“I think he’ll handle it the same way we do. No one bought what Huisman was selling.” Even Kala had rolled her eyes and said Ben was way too bad at acting to pull that off.
Would he be good at role-play? Since the day she’d met him she’d dreamed of some fantasy role-play.
She should probably keep her mind on the conversation at hand since if her sister truly thought she was in danger of getting her heart broken, she might try to take said danger out.
Kala’s expression softened. “I’m worried he’s not coming from the same place we are.
He’s had a shit ton of betrayal in his life, and it colors how he looks at things.
I worry the right words will plant suspicion in Ben’s head because the truth is he’s been waiting for you to do exactly that.
He’s waiting for you to betray him, and that can be a self-fulfilling prophecy. ”
Aunt Chelsea’s jaw dropped. “I thought the therapist was evil.”
Lou grinned. “Oh, she was, but that doesn’t mean she didn’t say some things that were super true. Also, Kala’s been seeing a good therapist to get over the fact that the last one tried to murder her.”
Kenzie had made that happen. “She lost at poker. She was so sure she had me but she was out of cash, so I suggested she meet with Willow once a week for the next two months.”
“I’m almost sure she cheated,” Kala said, eyes narrowed.
She’d totally cheated. A girl had to keep her skills up, and cheating at cards came up a lot in her line of business.
It was weird, but she was good at it. And in this case it was for a good cause because Willow Madden was doing a great job at the Ferguson Clinic, and Kala did seem to be dealing with her shit now.
“I had good cards that night. I certainly wouldn’t cheat. ”
“She wouldn’t.” Lou had been in on it, and it was good to know her sister’s bestie was solid when it came to a plot for Kala’s own good.
Sometimes her sister didn’t listen to good advice and needed to be led to happiness by any means necessary.
Maybe Ben was the same way. Maybe Ben needed to be led to happiness because his tortured past had taught him not to trust joy.
“Well, I don’t care how it happened,” her mother admitted. “I’m happy my baby is happy and that she has someone she can talk to. It’s important.”
Her mother would know. So would her aunt. They’d both been through extensive therapy and both were still deeply involved in their women’s support group.
Devi gave Tasha a long hug. “I was there. I kind of think she cheated, too, but I’m smart enough to stay out of a Taggart twins showdown.
I have to go. Love you, Cousin.” She turned to Kenzie.
“You be careful with Ben, and watch each other’s backs.
I’m going to need you guys because I’m pretty sure I’m getting married next year.
I think Zach is going to pop the question soon. ”
She blew the group a kiss and walked out. Kenzie was sure there was a bodyguard waiting to escort her cousin to the airport.
Lou stood, straightening her skirt. “She’s right. Zach already asked Theo and Erin for permission. It’ll be interesting to watch Zach let Devi dress him. I don’t think he knows what he’s in for. I’ll go make sure everyone is ready to pelt you with birdseed.”
Tasha frowned. “Maybe I should sneak out the back.”
Her mom took Tash’s hand. “Nope. The photographer is waiting. I want all the pictures, and you should prepare Dare for what’s waiting in Loa Mali. Yas promised to give you a couple of days, but she’s going to want at least a girls afternoon.”
Princess Yasmine, the future queen of Loa Mali, had been a playmate when they were young, and no one did a girls day like a real princess. It made Kenzie wish she was going to Loa Mali, but no, she would be running around looking for Huisman.
At least she would be with Ben.
Tasha moved in, putting her hands on Kenzie’s shoulders. “Be patient with him. He’s hurt and he might lash out, but that doesn’t mean he doesn’t need you. It doesn’t mean he doesn’t love you and that you won’t be right here in a year or so.”
“She’s right,” her mother agreed. “Patience, and you’ll probably want to punch him a couple of times.”
“But I shouldn’t.”
Her mom’s strawberry blonde hair shook. “Oh, no. Punch away if he crosses a line. It’s how your father knew I loved him. I’m sort of joking. Your dad was pissed when I came back. I’ll give you the same advice I gave Tash. Be patient and show him how good life can be with you.”
Kala made a vomiting sound. “That is not the advice you gave me.”
“You don’t take advice. Ever. Also, you were the one who was hurt, sweetie. Like your aunt here. You are the ones who needed patience from the men who loved you,” her mom pointed out.
“Did not,” Aunt Chelsea said under her breath.
But she had, and what her mom said was true. Patience and understanding would win her man.
And an enormous amount of generous, filthy sex.
Tasha stepped to the door, glowing and happy. Chelsea and her mom followed her.
Kala caught her arm and pulled her in for a hug.
Which was meaningful because Kala wasn’t generally affectionate, so Kenzie hugged her hard.
“I know you cheated, Kenz,” Kala whispered. “But I like Willow and I know sometimes you have to play dirty to help the ones you love.”
Kenzie pulled back but before she could argue, Kala leaned in again. “So don’t be surprised at the lengths I’ll go to for you.”
Kala kissed her cheek and strode away.
Kenzie prayed she could survive her sister’s “protection.”