Chapter Seven
Ben sat on Kenzie’s bed and let the events of the evening wash over him.
He was here. In her room. She was feeding her dog and talking to her roommate.
She would be a little while, and her laptop and phone were right there, but was he doing his job and trying to figure out all of Kenzie Taggart’s secrets?
No. He was studying the pictures on her wall.
Her room was painted a cheery yellow, and it was so feminine it hurt. And comfortable.
It made him think about the apartment he kept in Toronto. It was bland and dull, with Spartan furniture because he was almost never there. His fridge was always empty for the same reason. If he was “home” he ate takeout.
Kenzie had a plate of cookies under a cover. The roommate had happily noshed down on one as they talked.
Kenzie had a life, and it was seemingly warm and open.
One whole wall was covered in pictures and posters.
In some, Kenzie was young and surrounded by other kids.
There were pictures of her family standing in front of a cabin in what looked like the mountains.
It was easy now to pick her out from her twin.
Kala rarely smiled in pictures, but Kenzie glowed like the sun.
He glanced over to her desk. There was a stack of books, and not a one of them looked like material she was reading for work. Unless their next mission had something to do with dragons.
She was bold and bright and not insecure. She was everything he needed in his life.
Could he keep her for any amount of time?
If he did find something, would he even use it?
Walking down the aisle with her…
It felt right. He thought he would get here, look at her, and remember all the bad shit she’d done.
That was not what had happened. He’d looked at her, and something fell into place.
Something that had been missing for a long time.
He wasn’t even certain he could explain it properly, but being with Kenzie Taggart when they weren’t working was the most peace he felt in a long time.
And that was dangerous. He had to find a way to put up a wall between them—one Kenzie wouldn’t be able to sense—while he decided which way this would go.
“Hey.” She stood in the doorway, still in that dress.
He was certain some women would look nice in a dress like that, but on Kenzie it should be fucking illegal.
She was the sweetest treat, with her breasts offered up like fruit by the corset-like bodice, and those long legs highlighted by the high slit in the gown.
“Hey.” His cock was already hard as a rock, and they’d barely gotten back to her place. “Is your roommate okay with me staying?”
A brilliant smile crossed her face. She’d been a bouncy ball of sunshine all night. She’d held his hand and introduced him to all her friends and family, and his lonely ass had soaked it all in. Had been stunned that she could be this open and happy after what she did for her job.
But then maybe the difference was why they did the job. She seemed to do it because she believed.
He had joined up to take down Manny Huisman.
Where the hell would he be if he managed to do it? What would the rest of his life look like?
He shoved the questions aside because Kenzie joined him, sitting down next to him so close their hips touched.
“Bri? She’s cool, though you should be prepared to get grilled in the morning. She’s already got a list of questions for you. Just so you know she is not super into the whole ‘it’s classified and I can’t talk about it’ excuse.”
“Uhm, why does she want to question me?”
“She’s an author. Well, she’ll tell you she’s trying to be an author, but she’s written a couple of books so I say she’s already an author.” Her expression turned serious. “Are we going to talk about it?”
He didn’t want to talk. “How about we chalk up the whole lying to me thing to a professional problem and move on.”
Her eyes narrowed. “Just like that?”
He shrugged. “Just like that.”
She’d see it as proof that he wanted her.
Her eyes closed and she sniffled. When she opened them again, she stood up. “Then you’re not really here for me.”
“What are you talking about? This has all been about you.” What was she trying to do? Manipulate him, almost certainly.
She stared at him for a moment, and Ben realized she had a hell of a dumbass-said-what face. “Let’s see if I can get this right. I’ve been thinking about it all night, and there’s a piece of me that wants to ignore it and be happy you’re here and be in love for a while.”
He would argue with the word love, but that was a battle he didn’t want to fight tonight. “And you’re choosing not to why? Was I not attentive enough? Did I not tell you what a goddess you are in that dress?”
“Yes, but you wouldn’t listen when I wanted to talk about Nepal.”
He stood and put his hands on her arms, staring down into that exquisite face of hers. “I want to move on. I don’t want to argue. I want some peace between us.”
She stepped back. “Then you’ve probably got the wrong girl and we’re in the wrong line of work. You know I’ve considered it from time to time. I’ve considered quitting and seeing if that helped. I decided my job is nonnegotiable. I’ll step down at some point, but not now.”
“I never asked you to quit.”
“What if I asked you to,” she began.
“Why would you want that?”
“Because I worry this obsession with Dr. Huisman will kill you, and that will kill me, too.”
He sighed and moved into her space again.
He could save this. “I’ll be fine because we’re going to take him down together.
I’ve got a whole plan laid out with the new intel we have from Nepal.
I’m presenting it to your father tomorrow.
We’re going to deal with the situation and then we can talk about how to proceed.
I will consider moving here, but I’m not quitting until Manny’s in jail.
Kenz, if you want me to tell you I’m mad at you, I am, but I’ll get over it, and I’ll get over it a hell of a lot faster if you kiss me.
Way faster if you take off your clothes and let me spank your pretty ass. ”
She stared at him for a moment as though contemplating her next move.
Or trying to figure out if he was worth the risk.
“I’m going to need help with the corset.” She turned and offered him her back.
“Just like that?” he parroted back to her.
Her shoulders shrugged. “Not really. I’m making a calculated move since I’m worried you’re viewing this as a chess match rather than seeing if a relationship between us can work.
I think you decided collaborating with my team is the best way to get Huisman, and we all know you’ll do anything to achieve that particular goal. ”
He put his hands on her shoulders. Soft, warm skin. He loved touching her. He felt better when he had a hand on her. “Can’t I do both? Can’t I want you and want justice?”
She leaned back against him. “You can, but I worry if you’re put in a position where you have to make a choice, it won’t be me.
But I suppose every woman has to take that chance.
Not having sex with you won’t make me happier, and it won’t increase the chance that you might be able to love me.
So I’m going to go with it for now, but I know you didn’t just come here for me. ”
He wrapped an arm around her waist. “Then pretend. Pretend the only thing I think about is you.” He breathed her in, loving the way she smelled, how she fit into his arms. “Pretend we met some other way. Pretend I saw you and couldn’t stand the thought of not having you.
You know I thought you were gorgeous, but what you don’t know is I came onto you…
your sister that first night in Sydney because I was worried Dare would get distracted by her. ”
Kenzie chuckled. “Well, he got distracted all right, but not by Kala. She wouldn’t have gone for him, by the way. Kala never does the close work.”
“What do you mean by that?”
“Flirting. Working a target who’s male. It’s all me, so even if we had been targeting Dare that night, he would have been safe.”
He gently gripped her elbow and turned her around. “Your father sends you out on honey pot ops?”
Her lips curled up slightly, like she knew he was being a jealous ass and kind of liked it. “Not at all. He’s against it, but you know how our business goes. Why fight for intel when I can seduce it out of a man?”
Yep. Volcanic rage. “I’m having a long talk with your father tomorrow.”
“That should be interesting. Tell me something, Ben. Have you ever slept with a target for information? Or is it different because you’re a man?”
He had, of course. He’d worked a target, but the idea of another man’s hands on her…
This woman could drive him insane if he let her. He turned her around again and started unlacing the corset. “Well, I won’t be doing it again. I can assure you of that. This isn’t casual sex, Kenzie.”
Her palms found the door, the position so submissive it nearly made him lose it.
“My dad has sent my mom in to work a target before. I mean he’s always watching so he can step in if she gets in trouble.
She only flirts, but she says the sex afterward is incredible.
Apparently my dad is better in bed when he’s super jealous. ”
He managed to unlace the corset and get it over her head.
She turned around and leaned back against the door.
If she was concerned with the fact that she was half undressed and he was completely clothed, she didn’t show it.
This woman was comfortable with herself and her sexuality.
“I am deeply disturbed that you know so much about your parents’ sex life.
Take off the skirt. I’m putting ‘no fucking around even if it’s for national security’ in our contract.
Am I going to have to run our contract by him? ”
“Why, Benjamin, I had no idea you were in the lifestyle,” she said as she slid the skirt off her hips and his jaw nearly dropped.