Chapter 6
I called my college friend, Emma, the following afternoon on my way to the gym. I was nervous about seeing Caleb again, and I had to tell someone about it. I had lunch with my mom earlier, and I didn't mention it to her. I also did not tell Blake, even though I had told her about meeting him. I didn't want my excitement to be known by my family or close friends.
Honestly, didn't know how my family would feel about him. It wasn't just about his tattoos, although my grandparents would certainly mention them. Other things about Caleb would have them worrying about me—one of the biggest ones being that he lived in California. As the only girl, I was close with my mom. She would be so sad if I ever met and started dating someone who didn't live in Chicago.
I wanted to tell someone, what was going on with me, so I called Emma who was my friend from college. She had great qualities that would make her the best person for the call. One, we didn't know any of the same people. Two, she wasn't a gossiper. That combination was hard to come by, and I loved Emma for it. I had briefly dated a guy at school, and she was my wingman in that situation. I was happy that she picked up when I called.
"Hey, Emma, how are you?"
"I'm doing well, how are you, my friend?"
"I'm great. I saw your post the other day. Congrats on that job. I meant to comment and I forgot."
"Oh, thank you, I'm excited about it. I fell in love with history during middle school. I loved my teacher, so I just hope to do the same for someone else that age."
"Aw, that's so nice of you."
"You usually text. If it's just to say congrats on the job, I feel like you would've texted me. I'm hoping you're calling with relationship stuff. Did you see Cole again? Last I heard, you had blocked him."
"Oh, no I haven't seen Cole. It's not even about him. That was over as soon as it started, basically. It is guy stuff, though. I'm sorry to call you with that."
"Oh, no, I love it."
"I really don't know what I want to say about it. I don't think I need any advice or anything, I just kind of wanted to tell you what happened—how we met." Even as I began to speak, I knew I wouldn't give her all the details. I didn't want anyone to know everything.
"Aw, you met a new guy? My dreams are coming true. I'll live vicariously through you. Please tell me the whole story."
"Yes, we met yesterday, and we got together last night for him to take a history lesson from me."
"Oh, my gosh, this is already starting off so good. History lessons? This is amazing. You met him yesterday?"
"Yes, and it was so good. We were together for hours. We met at this diner, and I talked to him about Richard the Lion Heart for two hours, and then we went for a walk, and talked for two more hours after that. It was crazy. His questions were insightful and he was so interested. We got along so well. And there were moments when…"
"When what?" she said excitedly. "Are you in love?"
"Wh-when we looked at each other, and it was like…"
"Like what?" she said when I paused.
"I won't say love, but yeah, we liked each other."
"Well, that’s good," she said, not seeing the problem.
"Yeah, I thought so. We were out until like two in the morning. We really got along great. It was wonderful and perfect. And then we parted ways in the middle of the night—when bad decisions are all but forgiven. And there was not so much as a kiss on the cheek."
"Why not?" she asked sounding like she was already invested.
"I don't know. It was going so good I even felt like we were attracted to each other, and then he just got awkward. It was like he was fighting some internal battle."
"Oh, no. Do you think maybe he's with somebody else?"
"I thought the same thing. He seemed conflicted."
"Oh, gosh, that's not good. I guess it's good that he didn't kiss you. That shows that he's a good person if he is with someone else and he couldn't do it."
"I thought he was a good person. We had already hung out for so long. He knew I was getting invested."
"How'd you meet him? On the Internet?"
"On the Internet? Where did you get that?"
"I don't know. I don't know where else someone would sign up for a history lesson. Through a college?"
"No, I just met him at a… seven-eleven."
"At a what? A gas station?"
"Yes."
"For real? You're lying."
"It was over by Halas Hall. We knew some of the same people, through football."
"Is he an athlete Lila? A football player? I knew it! I've always seen you with a football player. How romantic! Your dad and brothers would be so excited. Wait, would they? Do they know him?"
"No, they don't… and he's not a football player."
"Who is he?"
"I can't tell you. Especially with how he's acting. What if he's with somebody? I shouldn't name names."
"Would I know him even if you did? Is he famous?"
"A little."
She shrieked. She was so excited.
"I don't know if you would know him or not," I said honestly.
"He's a football player, I know it! I bet he wasn't conflicted about another woman. He was probably conflicted about your dad. It would be a challenge for a football player to have Eddie Decker for a father-in-law."
I laughed at how certain she seemed. "You're funny. He's not a football player."
"Baseball? Of course. Your brother. Is he someone who played with EJ?"
"No."
There was a short pause and then she let out a long breath. "You're not going to tell me who he is, are you?"
"No," I admitted. "It's still so uncertain and new. I just wanted someone to be prematurely excited with me."
"Are you going to see him again?"
"Yes."
I didn't add that I was on my way to see him right then or that I was only one minute away from pulling up at the gym.
"He wants to do another history lesson tonight."
"Seriously? Is he really wanting to learn, or is he working on a slow-burn romance with you?"
"I wish it was that. I don't know. I don't know what he's thinking. I'll have to give you another update after the next lesson or two. We'll see if it amounts to anything."
"Please give me an update, Lila. You know I'm so invested in this. I'm going to text you in a few days. I can't believe you taught him Richard the Lionheart."
"He loved it. He's so smart."
"What does he look like? Give me something!"
"I don't know, kind of the bad boy type, maybe," I said casually, as if I hadn't put any thought into it, which was laughable.
Emma made a swooning noise, and that made me laugh.
We said our goodbyes just as I was pulling into the parking lot at the gym. It was 2pm, and I knew Caleb had made it there before me. He had texted me to let me know that Kevin was chomping at the bit to go.
It took me ten or fifteen minutes to find them once I was inside. My brother's gym was a campus-like facility, similar to the place where the Bears trained. Most of the buildings were connected by corridors, but it was a huge facility with multiple large buildings.
I caught up with the guys in one of the weightlifting rooms. It was Kevin that I first recognized. He was a little kid, so his size caught my eye. Then I saw the rest of them. There were three men with him… Marcus and Caleb, and the third was my brother, EJ. Kevin was standing on a block, looking like he was one of the guys. I smiled at the sight of them. It looked like Caleb noticed me coming and then looked away.
I got a little nervous when he did that.
"Hey, little sister!" EJ said, noticing as I approached. He put his arm out, inviting me into a hug. "Kevin was just talking about ice skating." He looked at Kevin. "I know you're not ready to get your skates on quite yet, but when you are, this is the lady to watch. This is my sister, Lila," he said to them. He glanced at me. "You've met Marcus before, haven't you?"
"Yeah, she met Caleb yesterday, too. She gave him one of her business cards. He was showing it to us last night."
"Hello again," Caleb said. "I didn't realize you were a Decker when we met."
"In the flesh," I said, like a goober. I was caught off guard by Caleb's indifference. He was looking at me like it was the second time we met and not the third.
"What are you guys getting into today?" I asked, focusing on Kevin with a smile.
"Basketball in a minute. My dad's friends are coming up here to play a game."
"Oh, that's cool."
"How about you?" Marcus asked.
"I don't know what I'll get into. I thought about walking the track, but I might skate."
"I didn't know you were the skater in the family," Marcus said.
"I've been doing it since I was a little girl."
"You should see her, she's amazing," EJ said.
I glanced at Caleb, and my heart ached at the unattached half-interest he was showing. He had texted my phone no more than an hour before, and now there he was, acting like he didn't know me.
"I’m going to let you guys get back to what you were doing. It was good seeing you all." I turned to my brother and hugged him. "Love you, E."
"I'll be around. I'll probably go with these guys to the courts. I know you mentioned walking the track, so if you do the one above the basketball courts, you can come with us."
There was a walking track that overlooked the gymnasium, and I had planned on going there so that I could watch them play basketball. Caleb's nonchalance, however, was making me feel stubborn. I thought I would skate instead.
"I may see you guys over there later," I agreed. "I think I'll skate first. Bye, Kevin. It was good seeing you, bud." I high-fived the boy and then waved at everyone else as I turned to walk away. I barely glanced at Caleb. I did one of those glances where my eyes only passed over him for a split second—just long enough to see that he was still emotionless.
I turned and took several strides down the aisle. I was walking past a row of weight benches when I heard my name from behind me.
"Lila!" I knew it wasn't my brother. I knew it was Caleb. I had been praying that he would do something to fix that awkwardness.
"I'm sorry," he said quietly, falling into step beside me. "I told them I needed to use the restroom, so I'm going to walk this way with you. I'll meet them over there in a minute." He glanced behind us before continuing. "I'm so sorry about that. Kevin's really smart, and if I showed any sort of anything for you, he'd ask me a thousand questions about it. And honestly, my life is a little… complicated with that stuff."
I kept walking, not looking at him. I was going to my brother's office where I could find some skates. I was a veteran ice skater. I started taking lessons when I was four, and the idea of putting on some skates felt comforting at a moment when I had felt otherwise insecure.
"What stuff?" I asked with a shrug. "What's so complicated?"
"Just, you know, with me and women or whatever."
"Are you married?" I asked, squinting.
"No. I’m not married."
"Do you have a girlfriend?"
"No, I do not."
I paused, thinking about it. "Then, it's fine. I don't care about anything else."
I assumed he meant there were things I didn't know about his family and his childhood, but I honestly didn't care about any of that.
I was still traveling down the wide hallways at a good pace, and I turned to glance at him as we walked. His expression was sincere, and he was devastatingly handsome. Just looking at him made my heart ache. I felt like I would tolerate just about anything to get him to like me.
"Where are you going?" he asked.
"To my brother's office. He's got some of my skates."
"I thought you might come to the gym where we're playing basketball."
"I thought you were trying not to talk to me in front of Kevin."
"Can I come with you to your brother's office?"
"Yes. But hang on. I forgot to ask him."
I took out my phone and called EJ. He picked up on the second ring.
"Hey, what's up?"
"I forgot to ask. Can I go get some skates out of your office? If not, I think Dom has a pair in his."
"Of course. You have a master key for emergencies, don't you?"
"Yes."
"Just use it. Your skates are in that same locker."
"Thank you. Love you."
I hung up with my brother.
"I'd like to see you skate."
I glanced at Caleb. I didn't know what to think or how to feel. He had been so distant in front of everyone else that it was hard to switch gears.
"You wouldn't want to," I said as we continued to walk.
"What do you mean?"
"Nothing, I'm just messing around."
I had been about to say something hyper-confident and tell him that if he saw me skate he would fall in love with me. Growing up with two older brothers made me a trash talker, and I had wanted to mess around with him and say he was in danger of falling under my spell if he watched me. But the truth was that I wanted him to fall for me, and so it just felt weird saying it.
"We'll be playing basketball for at least an hour. You can maybe come over there when you're finished skating."
"Yeah, I'll walk over there. It's on my way back from the rink."
We went into a back hallway and to the offices. I had been in and out of this gym since it was built. I found my way to EJ's office and easily unlocked the door. I turned on the light and walked inside. Caleb hesitated by the door, and I glanced at him. "You can come inside."