Chapter 7
I walked across EJ's office, heading to the row of metal lockers that lined the far wall. They were both functional and a vintage decoration. Caleb came inside and let the door close behind him. I retrieved one pair of skates and socks from the locker I knew to be mine. I put a sock in each skate and put them in a soft bag which I slung over my shoulder. It was something I had done many times before, and I went through the motions easily.
I smiled at Caleb as I headed back toward the door. He was standing near a wall, looking like he might not want to leave right away. His head was tilted, and he was looking at me with a thoughtful expression. I could just melt at the sight of those dark eyes. It was like they pierced through me. I wanted to be near him so badly that I felt weak in the knees.
"Can you just come over to me for a second?" he asked in a quiet voice.
It was as if he was reading my mind, and I easily agreed, setting down my bag. I had a small bag strapped across my chest diagonally, but it wasn't in the way, so I left it in place. I stared at him as I took a step toward him. He came closer to me as well. I had been next to him in the hallway, but it didn't feel like this. We gazed at each other from this new close proximity, and the tension was so thick that I felt short of breath. I had never seen anyone who looked like Caleb. He was absolutely gorgeous—like a work of art.
"Are you going to say anything?" I asked after several long seconds of feeling like I might burst from the tension-filled silence.
"I rarely…" His voice was hoarse, and he paused and cleared his throat. "Lila, I never put myself in situations like this. I've… for years, I've thought that God had plans for my life that didn't include women. I used to date in high school, but for years, I haven't even… I've sort of made it a thing in my life that I'm not looking for a relationship."
I took a step back, feeling flush with instant fear. He was telling me he had taken some kind of vow, and there I was, growing all these feelings.
"Are you a priest?" I said, not making eye contact.
"I’m not a priest," he said, putting a hand on my arm. He gave me a gentle tug toward him before dropping his grasp. He glanced at me with a pleading look, and I knew he was asking me not to step away. He was this big, strong, dangerous-looking guy, and there he was, staring sincerely like he was figuring out how to even touch me. "I'm not a priest," he said again softly.
"But what you're saying is the same, right? Are you saying that you took some kind of vow?"
"No, I mean, sort of, with some people. I've just been quoted as saying that I've given my life to God and that I don't want any sort of companionship."
He stopped talking and took a deep breath, I saw his chest expand as he breathed. He stared at me, taking in my face, his gaze traveled slowly down to my mouth.
"I had so much fun with you last night," he said.
"Me too."
"I love talking to you, and I didn't want it to end."
"Me neither," I said, fighting breathlessness. "You're so smart. I feel like you remembered every single thing I said."
"I did," he said, staring intently at me. His expression changed, and there was a hint of confusion. "I cannot stop thinking about you." He was so serious and concerned that I grinned.
"That's not so bad."
"This doesn't usually happen to me, Lila." He put his hand on my arm again, but he dropped it.
"It's okay," I said. "Could I just give you a kiss on the cheek, maybe?"
"Yes, please," he said.
I gently held onto his arm for balance as I stretched upward. I kissed his cheek, placing my mouth gently but firmly on the side of his face. I tried not to leave it on there for more than a second.
"This is unexpected, Lila. I feel things for you that I wasn't expecting. I'm not going to talk about it in front of Marcus and his family right now. I'm sorry about that, but I want to keep it between us for now."
"It's okay," I assured him.
I really wanted to be near him. He wasn't holding me, but we were close and he wasn't pulling away.
"Kevin's in bed by nine. I can meet you any time after that. To study, I mean."
"Yes, when do you want to get together?"
"Tonight at nine. I would like to see you every night until I leave, please, if that's okay."
"I would like to see you, too," I agreed easily.
He leaned toward me just an inch. Then he paused and then did it again. We were really close now. He was irresistible, and the awkwardness over kissing me was endearing.
I grinned. "Are you going to kiss me?"
He nodded. "You have no idea how much I want to. The feeling is unbelievable."
He still seemed hesitant.
"Well, we can take it slow. I don't want you to do anything that makes you feel—" I didn't finish my sentence because Caleb lowered his head and kissed me. He moved to do it, and I knew what was happening. Our lips connected. The touch was light, and we weren’t connecting anywhere besides our lips.
I felt hot currents of whooshing liquid rushing through my body.
We held the contact for a second or two before pulling back.
So light.
And then he did it again—so gentle.
He pulled back. Then he touched the side of my face as he leaned in and let his mouth touch mine with more firmness for several long seconds. His mouth wasn't fully open, but it wasn't closed, either. I felt the warm slippery inside of his lips, and I clinched my fists, resisting the urge to hold onto him.
Caleb pulled back and let his hand drop from the side of my face. He let out a hoarse moaning sound.
"I like you so much, Lila."
I grinned. "Well, that's good. I like you too. Let's get out of here and meet at the diner tonight. I don't want to get you in trouble with Marcus and Kevin."
"Are you coming to watch me play basketball?"
"You must be good," I said.
He shrugged. "Not really. We go light. Kevin likes to see Marcus dunk on everybody, so it's more like the Harlem Globetrotters with Marcus as the star out there."
I reached up and touched his cheek with my hand while placing a kiss on his other cheek. I took a step back, knowing we had to get going. I felt his hand touch my arm and tug me toward him.
"Can I just get a hug?" he asked as he pulled me into his arms.
I wanted a hug, and I went to him with no resistance. I took him into my arms as he took me into his. Our touch had been so light up until now, and it felt so gratifying to take a firm hold of him. I let my face rest against his chest, wrapping my arms around his mid-section. His arms were so securely wrapped around me that for an instant, I was overwhelmed and felt some magical connection like I was one with him. I lost my breath because of it. I was aware of the feel of his body—the smell of it, and its warmth. Part of me knew that it was too soon to feel this way, but I felt love radiate through us during that hug. I felt it. It was undeniable. We both held onto each other for what must have been a full minute. Maybe two. I had no concept of time.
"We better go," I said, sounding reluctant. I let go of him when I said that. "I'll look over at you guys from the walking track, but I might not get to talk to you again today. I'll text you later to make sure we're on for tonight."
"Oh, we are," he said with such certainty that I let out a little laugh.
I turned and grabbed my skates and we headed toward the door. I could feel the sincerity in everything he did and said. I got the impression that I was the only woman he had found himself having real feelings for, and it was honestly the most incredible feeling in the world.
"What are you teaching me about tonight?"
"You have to show up to find out," I said.
He reached out and opened my brother's door, and EJ was walking up just then.
"Hey, E," I said, trying to sound like I wasn't shocked to see him. "Got 'em!" I held up my skates. I had forgotten that Caleb was supposed to be 'using the restroom' and had no excuse to be there with me. "I was telling Caleb what a maze this place was," I continued. "I told him I'd show him to the basketball courts. Unless you're going there, you can walk him." I did my best to sound unconcerned.
"I came in here to grab Kevin one of my baseball cards," EJ said. "But I have a few messages to deal with, so I'm not going back right this second."
I nodded. "Oh, yeah, I'll show him to the courts. I had told him I would."
The two of them shook hands and I left the office with Caleb. My brother smiled at me before we walked out, and I was certain… almost certain… that he had no idea anything was going on between us.
"That was a close one," I said, speaking quietly once we were on our way down the hall.
"You can say that again," he said. "I am glad your brother wasn't thirty seconds earlier. That was really close."
I laughed, thinking of the questions I would have faced from my brother if he had caught us hugging. Caleb and I walked together for a minute or two before he broke away to go to the courts.
I made my way to the ice skating rink by myself.
I had spent a lot of hours skating in my life, and I felt comforted by going through the familiar motions of putting on my socks and boots and getting onto the ice. I put in my earbuds and kept my head down. I had a lot going through my mind.
There was a certain smell on the ice, and it worked as a balm to my emotional state, a soothing bit of soul comfort while my mind was racing. There would be hockey practice later, but for now, the rink was nearly empty.
It felt so nice to get onto the ice.
I took three small steps to get going and then I glided, my weight on one leg and then the other, taking long strides and building quick momentum. I was refreshed and comforted by the smell of the ice and the feel of the wind on my face. I loved the weightless, gliding sensation. My muscles instantly fell into a pattern of long strides where I gently swayed from left to right, maintaining a medium speed as I went around the rink, enjoying the mindlessness of it all. My thoughts were occupied with other things, so it was nice to do something physical that was so familiar.
I thought about Caleb and replayed everything that happened in my brother's office. I vaguely hoped he didn't have cameras, but ultimately, I didn't care. There was nothing I could do about it, anyway. Mostly, I remembered the things Caleb said to me. I wasn't sure what he was telling me. I knew he wasn't making me any promises but other than that I had no idea what to expect. He was attracted to me, and he seemed to be surprised by that fact. I had no idea what to make of that. Part of me was honored and the other part was scared.
I maintained a good pace on the rink, and I skated what must've been a hundred laps—just enough to get my muscles warm and get the benefits of getting out my adrenaline. I left the rink without doing any jumps or spins.
I had my skates strapped over my shoulder as I made my way to the stairs that would take me to the second-story walking track. I walked up there and then stood near the edge of the track to look over. I found Caleb's group with no effort.
Three different groups were playing at different goals on the gym floor, and Caleb's group was on the far side. He was playing a half-court game. They were playing with teams of three guys, and Caleb was on Marcus's team. They weren't playing hard, but they were all athletic guys. It looked like a competitive game even though they were going light.
I found little Kevin sitting on the sidelines with a guy I didn't know. He was an older gentleman, someone I assumed was Marcus's dad or another family member. I wanted to get closer, but it was easy to be discreet and see them from where I was.
I watched for what must've been three minutes. It was enough to appreciate that Caleb had natural athleticism. No one was trying to be Michael Jordan out there, but I could tell by Caleb's movements that he had more skills than a self-proclaimed nerd should have. I knew he was muscular, but I had never seen him move like he was moving on the court. His shirt was tight-fitting enough that I could see the muscles underneath as he moved. As if I wasn't attracted to him enough. I found myself feeling flush and decided I would only watch for a minute.
I glanced around, trying to seem casual. I wasn't the only person standing at the rail. Marcus was famous, and my brother always had other big-name athletes at his gym. Others were watching the action below.
Caleb picked up the bottom hem of his shirt and lifted it, using it to wipe the sweat off of his forehead. I saw abs. Goodness gracious. He had abs, and I saw them. I knew he did in the series, but it was different seeing it in person.
I hadn't even had the chance to fully take in the sight of them when he glanced up at the balcony. The players were talking to each other and seemed to be taking a water break, and Caleb glanced upward. I saw it when he caught sight of me, and I felt like I wanted to transport myself so that I could be next to him. He gave me a quick nudge of his chin along with a two-fingered wave. I waved back. But just like that, people were talking to him, and I knew he had to look away. He had smiled at me, though, and he waved. He had glanced up here hoping to see me.
I watched for a few more minutes. Caleb glanced up when he could, but it was only for a second or two at a time.
I left while they were playing. I knew I wouldn't get to talk to him, and my levels of attraction were already at an unreasonable level, so I took off, heading to my apartment. I would see him later at the diner when he wasn't so sweaty and wonderful.