Chapter Sixteen
Toby
“Dancing the American Smooth, it’s Toby Darling and Nico Hamilton!”
The studio audience erupted into applause as the lights swirled across the stage and a single spotlight highlighted me in place. All my nerves had faded, the years of performance training activating like a sleeper agent in my bones.
While I’d walked runways and red carpets, there was something about being in front of a full house like this that set fire to my blood, electricity and excitement sparking off each other in a strange approximation of a nuclear reaction.
It was funny. I hadn’t thought I’d missed performing. By the end of Underground Dreaming, it had felt like a chore.
But now… fuck, this was the spark my life had been missing.
No, not quite.
Nico was that spark. This was just adding fuel to the fire he’d given me.
I took a slow breath as I began to look around sadly, waiting for the first beat of the music to kick in. In the story, I was waiting, longing, for my partner. But it wasn’t pretend anymore. I really was waiting for Nico, wishing he was here.
Not because I couldn’t do it, but because I loved dancing with him. And I wanted to be in his arms again.
The steps he’d given me felt like second nature after the hours and hours of training, and I hoped they looked as perfect as they felt.
I turned again, still looking for my lover, and my heart fizzed as Nico stepped into view.
He bowed, holding his hand out to me as music filled my ears, my happiness threatening to carry me away into the air.
I knew I was smiling. It was impossible not to when he was near me.
“Care to dance?” he asked with a charming smile as I slid my hand into his and we moved into hold. “Very good. And… off we go.”
I hadn’t realised he was going to keep talking to me as we danced, but I didn’t know why I was surprised because he’d always done it. All the dancers did. Nico had even shown me some clips from the Come Dancing With Me social media of what the dancers had said during the show.
“One, two, elbow!” he said as we turned, moving across the floor with a speed and grace I hoped the judges appreciated. “Smile, sweetheart.”
I almost laughed then but I was too focused on what I was doing. The steps didn’t feel difficult, though, not like they once had. And I knew with Nico here I wouldn’t make a mistake.
We spun away from each other for more solo steps, spinning across the floor and slowing for a second as the music calmed. Then I turned towards him, the beat swelling as it built towards the final chorus and our big finish.
Nico smiled and held out his arms, and all I wanted was to be with him.
The crowd cheered as I reached Nico and he spun me around, lifting me off the floor. My hands rested on his shoulders and it felt like I was floating as we turned. And as we slowed, confetti cannons burst into life, showering us with slivers of silver paper, as if we were under a magical snowstorm.
Nico lowered me slowly as the music faded out, a fierce smile splitting his lips as he pulled me into his arms. “YES! Yes, yes, yes! You did it!”
“Oh my God, we did it,” I said, barely able to hear myself think over the sound of the audience. If I’d thought the crowd at Wembley were loud, it was nothing to this. “We did it!”
“I’m so proud of you,” Nico said, squeezing me again and lifting me off the floor, making delighted laughter burst out of me.
“I can’t breathe.” I clutched my ribs as he let me go, almost doubling over. How I was supposed to speak to the host and the judges like this I didn’t know. But I was going to have to.
I took Nico’s hand as we walked over to Chelsea, the smiling presenter, who looked absolutely stunning in a floor-length red sequinned dress. Since it was the Christmas episode, everyone was all decked out in even more sparkle than usual.
“Wow, Toby, that was amazing! Everyone is absolutely in awe,” she said as the crowd continued to cheer, half of them on their feet in a standing ovation. I could have sworn I heard Kai whistling too. “How was that? Did you enjoy yourself?”
“Honestly, this has been amazing,” I said, surprised I could speak as articulately as I was. I suddenly felt very out of breath. And my face was starting to ache from smiling so much.
“I’ve had so much fun throughout this entire process, and everyone has been so welcoming and sweet.
And I have to say such a huge thank you to this man right here”—I gently patted Nico’s chest and turned to look at him—“because he’s made it unforgettable.
He’s never complained about me forgetting where I’m supposed to be going either. ”
“You’ve been amazing and I’m so proud of you,” Nico said and fuck, I wished I could have kissed him. But I didn’t really want to cause a studio-wide meltdown.
Mo would not be impressed. Neither would Malcolm, and the poor man’s hairline was receding enough without me adding to it.
“You two definitely danced up a storm for us. Let’s find out what the judges thought of that,” Chelsea said, beautifully directing all the focus back on what we were supposed to be doing.
There were four judges, all of them dancers and choreographers who’d danced more American Smooths in their lives than I’d eaten biscuits. I wasn’t sure if I was keen to hear their opinion, but Nico had said they were normally very generous on the Christmas special since it was more for fun.
And sure enough, they were all delightfully charming and funny. I beamed as the words fabulous, gorgeous, and divine were thrown around like confetti. Nobody mentioned my elbows or toes either, which was the best thing for me.
After that, we went upstairs to see the other presenter, Tanya, who was dressed in a white and gold suit with a large bow in her hair—which was almost giving me Christmas present vibes. The rest of the celebrities and their partners were up there too, apart from one couple who still had to go.
“Toby, Nico, that was incredible,” Tanya said. “We absolutely loved it. Have you caught your breath yet?”
“I think so,” I said. “I don’t think I’ll be able to stop smiling for a while, though.”
“Nor should you.”
“It’s just been amazing. I really can’t thank Nico enough. He’s made training so much fun, and honestly, I don’t want to stop now! What’s next? Can I come back and do this again next year?”
Tanya laughed. “Well, we would love to have you. Now, before we get your scores, I have to say you have some very special guests with you here today.” She pointed at the nearby screen where the camera panned to Mrs Nolan and her assorted gang of miscreants.
There was a lot of sudden screaming in the audience, and I didn’t think everyone had realised they were there until now.
We’d definitely be signing autographs after this.
“I do and I’m so thankful for their support, even if they were convinced I was going to step on poor Nico’s toes. Also, I must give a shout-out to André, who isn’t here because he’s currently starring as Prince Charming in Cinderella. André, I hope you’re watching this on Christmas Day!”
“Yes, André, we’ll be waiting to find out,” Tanya said. “And quickly, Nico, how has it been working with Toby?”
“Honestly, Tanya, I’ve never met anyone so hard-working or dedicated.
I’d be suggesting we take breaks and he was asking what was next.
” Nico put his arm around me, setting off butterflies in my stomach.
“You’ve been so much fun to work with, and you should be so proud of everything you’ve achieved. ”
“Thank you,” I said. “I am so grateful to you for everything you’ve given me in the last few weeks.”
It was about all I could say on national television without causing an uproar, but I hoped Nico knew I meant it and so much more.
“You’re welcome,” Nico said, the smile on his face the proudest I’d ever seen.
Dammit, I really needed this part of the show to wrap up so I could sneak backstage with him and smooch him senseless. Even just a quick peck would do.
We turned back to the screen as the scores were announced, so we could see the judges lifting up their sparkly, Christmas tree-shaped paddles.
I really wasn’t sure what to expect, but I’d thought it would be nice to get some nines, maybe a ten if we were lucky. So it was a bit of a shock when the first score was a ten.
And the second.
And the third.
The fourth one almost felt unnecessary.
Four tens: a perfect score.
Everyone was cheering and there was some screaming too. I thought it might have been from me. Nico’s arms were wrapped around me and somehow we were still standing upright. That had to be a dream, didn’t it? I couldn’t have actually gotten a perfect score?
But apparently it was true.
The show had moved on to the final couple preparing to dance, and I was left stood with Nico and the rest of the competitors.
They all came over to say congratulations and give me hugs, every one of them seemingly genuinely over the moon for me.
I thanked them all, although it was more of a reflex than anything else because I hadn’t quite come back down to earth.
“Let’s go and watch,” Nico said, putting his hand in the small of my back so we could move towards the edge of the balcony and watch the final dance. “You fucking smashed it.”
“Thank you. That was real, wasn’t it? I’m still not quite sure,” I said with a soft chuckle as I watched the crew finish setting up the floor.
“It was, and you should be so fucking proud of yourself.”
“I am. It’s still not sunk in yet.” I let out a slow breath and tried to calm the sudden flurry of nerves swirling through my chest. I wasn’t the only one with a perfect score—there were two of us out of six so far—and it didn’t mean I’d automatically win.
The scores would be combined with votes from the studio audience, which they’d cast during the short interval after everyone had danced.
I tried to keep my focus on the final couple, who were doing the most fabulous jive, but my mind kept wandering. Nico’s hand was still on the small of my back, burning a hole in my waistcoat and reminding me that as soon as the show ended, things were going to change.
There’d be no more training sessions, no more trying to focus on his instructions instead of his mouth, no more eating biscuits while lying on the floor because I was so exhausted from everything he’d put me through.
I hoped we’d still get to see each other, but I doubted it would be as often. Nico had a whole life outside of our relationship, and a very busy one at that.
I didn’t want to get in the way, or be annoying and needy, but I really wasn’t sure how I was going to cope with going back to my lonely life after this.
All I could hope was that he felt the same. Maybe then we could figure out how to make this work.
Because I wasn’t sure I wanted our casual hookups to stay as that.
Below us, the final couple finished their routine with a flourish and more confetti, and the whole studio broke into more applause and cheering. From up here it was deafening, and it was a wonder I’d been able to hear myself think when I spoke to Chelsea.
We all watched politely and clapped excitedly as they came up the stairs to join the rest of us, chat to Tanya, and wait for their scores—which ended up being an excellent thirty-nine.
“Okay, that’s a wrap on the first half,” said one of the crew, popping out from the shadows as Tanya finished wrapping up her lines.
“We’ll resume in twenty minutes with the musical guest and the professionals’ second routine.
Then there will be a quick chat with the judges while we set up.
Then you’ll be back for the results. If you can all follow Andy to the green room, we’ll come and get you when we’re ready. ”
“Do you think there’ll be snacks?” I asked Nico as we were all herded backstage.
“Yeah, there’s usually a few little bits and some water. Plus someone from hair and make-up will come and touch you up before we go back out.”
“Oh dear, has my face run?”
“No, you’re fine. They’ll just top your lips up, sort your hair. Not that you need much, though.”
He smiled at me and I linked my arm through his because it was the closest I could get to holding his hand. “Neither do you,” I said. “Still very handsome.”
“Thanks,” he said. It looked like he wanted to add something else and for a moment I wasn’t sure if he was going to say anything, but then he slowed his pace so we dropped back from the rest of the group.
Then he lowered his voice and added, “What are you doing after this? Are you celebrating with your friends?”
“Maybe, I haven’t really gotten that far. But whatever we do, you should come too. I want them to meet you.”
“I’d like that.”
“And after that, maybe you could come back to mine?” I asked, my gaze meeting his and hoping it was the question he’d wanted to hear.
“Yeah, sweetheart, I’d love that.” He tilted his head, his words ghosting across my ear. “I think we’ll need to celebrate. Together.”