Chapter Fifteen
DECEMBER
Toby
To say I was excited about show day was an understatement.
It felt like all my Christmases and birthdays had come at once, or like I was one of those kids in Disney adverts who were suddenly surprised with a trip. I’d almost been too excited to sleep and when I had finally fallen asleep, I’d dreamt about dancing.
And Nico in his underwear, but I was very happy with that.
I’d woken up at five and lain in bed for an hour, trying to distract myself with a book, my Switch, and scribbling song lyrics in a notebook.
Nothing had worked, though, and I’d finally given up at six and gone for a shower, nearly making myself jump when I’d seen my reflection in the mirror because I still wasn’t used to my new Come Dancing With Me tan.
The show didn’t start until four and would last for around three hours before the winner was declared.
I’d had to be at the studio at nine so we could all do a final run-through before we started getting into hair and make-up.
We’d had a technical rehearsal yesterday and it had felt so strange to dance somewhere other than our studio.
I was glad I’d had Nico there to guide me through everything, murmuring things like “elbows up” and “toes” and “breathe” as we’d spun our way around the floor.
Not because I was nervous—performing came as naturally to me as breathing, even after several years off—but because I was so worried I’d forget everything.
But with Nico, it all just fell into place. And when he smiled, I knew I’d done a good job.
There was a knock at my dressing room door, and I turned in my seat at the vanity as Mo answered it. All the celebrities had their own dressing rooms, and when I’d first been told that, I’d thought it was a little strange I wasn’t sharing with Nico.
Then I’d remembered we were the only male-male pairing, and it had all made sense.
“Hey,” said a familiar voice on the other side of the door, and my mouth split into the biggest smile at the sound of it. “Is this a bad time? Are we allowed to come and say hello?”
“Absolutely not, darlings. I’m far too busy,” I said, bursting out laughing as I hopped out of my seat and raced over to the door, tightening the belt of the robe I was wearing.
On the other side were four very fabulous faces: Mrs Nolan, Dai, Haru, and Kane, who looked very windswept, like he’d just got off a plane.
“We’ll sod off then, shall we?” Dai asked. He was holding a giant bouquet of flowers tied with sparkling ribbon and if they were for me, then I had no idea where I was going to put them. Hopefully, the runners could dig out a bucket or something.
“Very charming, I’m sure,” Kane said with a wry smile.
“Oh my God, what did they do to your skin?” Haru asked, bursting through the door and reaching out to cup my jaw but not quite touching, which I appreciated because a very lovely artist called Sylvia had spent quite a long time on it. “You look like a roast chicken.”
“It’s not that bad,” I said as I brushed him away and glanced back at myself in the mirror. “Anyway, it’s necessary. Otherwise I’d look really washed out under the lights.”
“I don’t think I’ve ever seen you with a tan,” Kane said as he followed Haru into the room.
“Don’t get used to it. I’m not keeping this one.”
“Thank goodness for that,” Mrs Nolan said. “I’m not washing it out of any more pillowcases.” She smiled warmly at me and looked at my costume hanging up on a nearby hook. “Very nice. You’re going to look lovely.”
“Thanks,” I said, a little flutter of nerves rising in my stomach. “Do you know where you’re going?”
“Yeah,” Dai said with a tiny chuckle. “We’re being supervised.
” Behind him, I could see Phoenix and Nasir lingering in the corridor.
If you didn’t know any better, you might have just thought they were two tall, smartly dressed members of staff.
Not two highly trained professionals who could break your bones and do… well, whatever bodyguards needed to do.
There was a runner for the show with them too, who looked distinctly awestruck and like he was trying to pretend this was completely normal.
The funny thing for me was that it was. But my idea of normal was very different to most people’s.
“These are for you, by the way,” Dai continued, handing me the enormous bouquet. “From André as an apology for not being here. I’ve promised him we’ll keep him updated and he’s done enough of this shit to know not to say anything.”
“Oh, bless him, that’s so sweet. They’re gorgeous!”
“I’ll ask if we can find some water for them,” Mo said from his position near the door, beckoning to the runner with an outstretched finger.
“Thank you, I appreciate that.” I tucked the flowers into the crook of my arm and looked at my visitors.
I knew they’d need to take their seats very soon, but I was so ridiculously happy they were here.
It meant more than I could possibly say.
Especially since Kane had come all the way from Scotland.
“We’ll leave you to it,” Kane said, giving me a tiny wink.
“You’re going to smash it,” Dai said as he held out his arms to give me a hug, then thought better of it.
“Just remember to breathe,” Haru said. “And smile. Remember, you’re happy to be here.”
“Come on, dipshit, leave Toby alone. He doesn’t need you giving him bullshit advice.” Dai grabbed Haru’s arm and dragged him towards the door.
As they exited, I stepped into the doorway to watch them disappear down the corridor.
A few people had stuck their heads out of their dressing rooms to watch them, and I chuckled because I doubted any of them would get out of here quickly at the end of the night.
But I didn’t mind hanging around to sign a few autographs.
Unless everything went terribly. Then I’d probably want to leave as quickly as possible.
“Nice flowers,” Nico said as he joined me from the other end of the corridor where the door to the stairs was, since the professionals’ dressing room was a floor up. He was fully dressed and made up and looking sexier than ever.
“They are, aren’t they? They’re from André as a good luck wish and an apology because he can’t be here—he’s in a big panto this year, and it’s just bad timing.” I stroked the petals of a large red rose and smiled fondly.
“I take it those were your friends?” He nodded at the direction everyone had gone, and I almost wished they’d waited a few minutes more so I could have introduced them to Nico. Although we’d have then had trouble getting them to go and sit down.
“Yes, that’s them. I’m sorry you missed everyone! But you’ll be able to hear them as soon as we get out there.”
“It’s fine, I can meet them later. Cheering is good, though. It’s always nice to have support,” he said. “You better finish getting ready. Then we can warm up.”
“Oh yes, I think Eileen said she’d be down to make sure I’d put everything on right and that it fit well. But I ought to actually get dressed.”
“Chop chop then,” Nico said with a grin and playful wave of his hand. If we’d have been alone, I’d have teased him about it somehow. Or told him he could come in and watch, even if we risked getting distracted.
We’d spent several evenings together over the last week, fitting things in around Nico’s rehearsals with the Come Dancing With Me professionals and his dancer partner, Megan, a couple of meetings I’d had with Neil, and last weekend’s episode of the show.
It was fun to have someone to relax with, and it was so easy to switch off with Nico.
I wasn’t worried about what he’d think about me or focused on being the polished version of myself.
I could be needy and teasing and wear old clothes with hair that needed a wash.
We could fuck and then lie on the sofa or in my bed and talk about whatever took our fancy, and when he left for the night, he’d always give me a kiss on the doorstep.
It felt very gentlemanly.
Which always made me giggle since usually an hour beforehand he’d had my dick in his mouth. And vice versa.
“Are you coming in?” I asked as I stepped back into the dressing room, casually avoiding Mo, who seemed to be watching and waiting for the runner he’d dispatched.
Nico shook his head. “No, I’ll wait here. Just open the door when you’re ready. Better make it quick, though.”
“Aye, aye, Captain,” I said, giving him a teasing wink and mock salute as I shut the door.
I put the flowers on a chair and dressed quickly, making sure everything was buttoned and laced and nicely smoothed out.
The shirt was attached to a pair of shorts, almost like boxers or cycling shorts, which meant it wouldn’t come untucked or ride up.
It felt a bit strange but not uncomfortable.
And at least I wouldn’t worry about things popping out that shouldn’t.
The waistcoat was still my favourite part of the entire ensemble, and I was trying to work out the best way to ask if I could take it home after we’d finished. Maybe if I asked Eileen very nicely. Or offered to cover the cost of it—both the fabric and construction.
I wasn’t sure when I’d have an occasion to wear it again, but dammit, I’d wear it around the house if I had to. I’d look quite dashing writing songs in a sequinned waistcoat. Especially if I paired it with my fluffy dog slippers.
There was a knock at the door, and I opened it to see Eileen there with Nico just behind. Eileen nodded as she looked me up and down. “Good, good. Do me a little twirl? Very nice. Think you’re all sorted.”
“Thank you, it’s perfect,” I said. “I absolutely love it.”
“Are you ready?” Nico asked. He was smiling too but there was something different about him. He was standing a little taller, and he looked both very relaxed and ready for anything. There was a coolness to him, not quite a frostiness but a stillness. Like the smooth surface of a frozen lake.
This was Nico in professional mode.
And it was even hotter than regular, dance teacher Nico mode.
I wasn’t going to say that, though. Not now. I could tell him later, when we were alone.
It was time for me to be serious too, and to unleash the stage performer and entertainer who’d been dormant for the last few years.
“I think so.” I nodded and glanced at myself in the mirror, taking in everything from my sequins and polished shoes to the mistletoe clip in my hair. I truly had been transformed.
“We should take some pictures,” I added, suddenly remembering what Kane had told me the other day about content. I’d stuck my business phone in the outside pocket of my bag, so it was easy to stride over and grab.
“Sounds good. Want to do a little video for things like Instagram and TikTok too?”
“Bugger, yes, I suppose we should.”
“You know, you should really get a PA or someone to do these things for you,” Nico said.
“Well, technically, I do pay a PR firm to do stuff for me and run all my social media. I just have to send them things to post.” Which I very rarely did because I never made content. I hated it. Loathed it even. Just the word was enough to make me shudder.
Maybe a PA or something would be a good idea, though. I’d worked with some fabulous people in the past. Maybe one of them would be open to something on a part-time basis. I could investigate further in the new year.
“Come here,” Nico said, holding his arm out for me to slide into it. He smelled divine and I wished I could bury my face in his neck and run my tongue along his skin. But no, I had to be professional.
Gosh, this professional thing was nonsense. It was reminding me why I didn’t do it very often.
“Smile,” Nico added as I put my arm around his waist. I snapped a few photos and we filmed a couple of silly videos talking about how excited we were. They weren’t meant to be silly, but I was too hyped up on energy to concentrate. I wanted to be doing things, not waiting around.
“That’ll do,” I said, throwing the phone back into my bag where I could forget about it for a while. I hoped the pictures came out nicely, though, because I didn’t really have any of Nico and me.
“Let’s go down then,” Nico said. He held out his hand and I took it without hesitation. My heart was glowing, a new warmth cascading over me. “Are you ready?”
I squeezed his hand and lifted it for a moment to brush my lips across his knuckles. “Of course. I’m with you.”