Chapter Fourteen
Nico
“Looking amazing, guys,” Craig said as he lowered the camera, giving us both a bright smile and a pleased nod. “You’re smashing it.”
“Thanks,” I said, giving Toby a high five as I released him from my arms. I’d rather have given him a kiss, but that definitely wouldn’t have been appropriate.
We’d tried not to let our new physical connection bleed into training, but that hadn’t lasted long. I thought we’d lasted about thirty minutes in the studio, that first day back after we’d started hooking up, before Toby had leant over and kissed me. And I hadn’t stopped him.
Why would I?
Toby was hot as fuck and I was happy to use any excuse I got to kiss him.
“Are you feeling ready for the show?” Craig asked.
“I think so. I just have to make sure I remember everything,” Toby said, offering the crew a charming smile.
He was wearing a cute powder-blue dance top and a pair of very smart dance trousers, both of which looked incredible on him, and I had to remember not to keep staring.
He’d also redone his hairband to keep his hair out of his eyes, and had put the lightest amount of make-up on.
It still made him look like Toby, but a more polished, filtered version.
And it clearly made him more comfortable in front of the camera, so my opinion about it was completely null and void. Besides, it was nothing compared to the amount of make-up and fake tan we’d be wearing for the actual show.
A lot of people thought it was extreme and unnecessary, but without it, we’d look washed out under the lights and it would be all anyone could focus on.
I’d just need to remind Toby to get some dark towels to use after showering because if he had white ones, they’d be immediately and irreversibly stained.
It was something every dancer I knew had learnt when we were young. I still remembered my mum’s reaction when I’d had my first competition tan and tried to use her nice towels to dry myself with. She’d promptly handed me the old towels we’d used for swimming and told me to ruin those instead.
“I’m sure you’ll be fine. And Nico can remind you as you go,” Craig said as he looked around the studio, clearly deep in thought.
“I think we’ll set up in the corner by the mirror for your interviews.
That should look nice with the lighting and we can get the Christmas decorations in too.
Give us ten minutes to get sorted. Then we’ll do your interviews and be out of your hair. ”
“Sounds great, thanks,” I said, glancing at Toby and nodding my head at our bags. “Let’s grab a drink.”
“Oh, I have more biscuits. Well, technically they’re black forest cookies, but still.
And because I remembered the crew were coming today, Mrs Nolan made enough for them to have some too,” Toby said with a pleased smile.
He walked across to his bag and pulled out the familiar blue tin with ducks on, popping the lid off to release the decadent smell of sugar and chocolate.
He held the tin out to me and I happily took one. The cookies were thick and round, studded with white chocolate and chunks of cherry, and were the perfect amount of soft and gooey in the middle.
These were going straight on my favourites list, although Mrs Nolan’s gingerbread still held the top spot.
As I ate, Toby walked over to the crew to offer them all some, and I watched with growing fondness in my chest. Even if some of Toby’s personality had been shaped and crafted by his time in Underground Dreaming, I was starting to realise he was and always would be the same person at his core.
He cared dearly about the people around him and wanted people to feel looked after, even if that meant putting himself second.
He only had a small, close circle of friends but if you got into that, he’d protect you fiercely, love you deeply, and support everything you did.
He was easily distracted in a soft, endearing way, and he worked ridiculously hard.
He tried not to judge despite the fact he was judged every time he set foot in public. And he bore the immense weight and scrutiny on his life with more grace, patience, and dignity than I’d ever fucking manage.
He also had a real sweet tooth and loved red wine, although I didn’t know if that second part was as public knowledge as the first.
Toby wasn’t the diva I’d first imagined him to be.
In fact, he was completely the opposite.
And the thing that really struck me was how lonely he was. He hid it well, and I hadn’t picked up on it until recently. But he was quite possibly one of the loneliest men I’d ever met, and I hated that.
I didn’t want him to be alone. I wanted him to be fucking adored and cherished and cared for, because that was what he deserved.
Was I the person to do that? I didn’t know. But it was making me want to try.
“Do I look alright?” Toby asked as he came back over, tin in one hand and a half-eaten cookie in the other.
I grinned and touched the side of my mouth. “You have some chocolate just here.”
“Damn.”
“Might as well finish your cookie first.”
“Very true,” he said, shoving the rest into his mouth like a happy little hamster before walking over to the mirror to examine his face. I bit back a chuckle as I watched. On anyone else, I’d have found his behaviour annoying, but on Toby it was dangerously close to cute.
I debated messaging Megan to ask if she thought there was something wrong with me, but I hadn’t told her yet about what was going on with Toby because we’d agreed to keep it a secret.
Megan would probably guess as soon as I saw her tomorrow for rehearsals, because she knew everything, but at least this way I maintained plausible deniability.
And I didn’t have to listen to her smugly tell me she’d told me so.
“After they’ve gone, I want to work on the lifts again,” I said. “I want to make sure you’re a hundred percent confident in them.”
“You know I trust you,” Toby said, turning around to shoot me a little smile.
“I know, but I want you to trust yourself too. We’re on the last week now. I’m going to be picky as fuck about everything.”
“I can’t believe the show is next week.” He pulled his lip slightly. “I’m starting to get a little nervous.”
“It’s going to be fine, I promise. We’ll keep practicing and we’ll have time next week to rehearse in the studio too. Trust me, at this rate you’ll be doing the routine in your sleep.”
“I think I already am. The duvet was on the floor this morning when I woke up. I think I kicked it off in my sleep. Probably doing that spinny bit in the middle.” He waved his hand in a circle and I snorted.
I had taught him all the proper terms for the steps, but apparently Toby had decided not to use them. Or he couldn’t remember them.
“Okay,” Craig called. “We’re ready. Can we start with you, Toby, please?”
“Okey dokey.” He adjusted his hairband and smoothed out his shirt, a flash of nervousness crossing his face.
“You look great,” I said, fishing another cookie out of the tin. “Go on, go and do your interview. Then it’s lift time.”
“And then?”
“Who knows?” I smirked and bit into the cookie, licking chocolate off my lip.
I was tempted to tell him I’d reward him if he did well, but I wasn’t even going to mention that with anyone else around.
Yes, I could’ve totally made it sound innocent as fuck, but I didn’t want to make Toby uncomfortable.
Secret meant secret, in every sense of the word.
So I ate my cookie and watched as he answered questions about his experience and how he was finding training, which would be edited down into bite-sized snippets for the training montage every contestant got before their dance.
It was mostly a way to help the audience connect with them, especially if they didn’t know who the celebrity was.
Plus, for the live shows, it gave the crew a chance to finish setting the floor up for each dancer.
Toby was obviously very comfortable in front of a camera, and he sparkled sweetly as he spoke. I couldn’t wait to get him on the dance floor in front of everyone next week because I knew he was going to shine brighter than anyone had ever seen.
They finished up quickly, and then it was my turn.
Craig didn’t keep me for nearly as long because all they really wanted from me was some nice soundbites about how great Toby was, how proud I was of him, how well he’d taken to training, and how excited I was to show off what we’d achieved.
Sometimes when I recorded these, I was simply going through the motions, but with Toby I meant every word.
“By the way,” Toby said as Craig and his team packed up all their equipment. “I did tell you most of my former bandmates are coming next week, didn’t I? And Mrs Nolan.”
“You did. And you said Mrs N’s gonna wear her snazziest jumper.”
“Apparently, it has a lot of sequins.”
I chuckled. “She won’t be out of place then.”
“Would it be okay if, afterwards, we said hello to them? Are we allowed to do that?”
“Of course, why wouldn’t we be?”
He shrugged. “I don’t know. I wasn’t sure how strict the scheduling was.”
“Nah, we’ll be fine to say hello and chat, show them around a bit.
” I thought for a second, the reality of having multiple members of Underground Dreaming in the same public place finally registering.
“Are any of them bringing security? Are you bringing any extra security? I don’t want any of you getting mobbed by fans. ”
“Yes, so, Dai and Haru will bring Phoenix with them—they’re Haru’s bodyguard and can easily deal with both of them.
If Kane comes, he’ll have Nasir with him—he’s not long started with Kane and Austin, gorgeous man, wicked sense of humour—but I’m still waiting on Kane to tell me if he’s actually going to be there because of reshoots.
And I’ll have Mo, obviously. I don’t think I’ll need anyone else. ”
“Sounds good,” I said. I liked Mo a lot and it would be good to have a familiar face around if we needed him.
“He’s very excited because his whole family loves the show. It’s the reason his youngest daughter started ballroom lessons.”
“I’ll make sure he gets to meet everyone. Maybe see if we can make some videos for her.”
“He’d love that. Thank you!” Toby beamed and my chest fluttered awkwardly. It wasn’t a big deal, but he was acting like it was. His gratitude was genuine too.
If someone else had made such a big deal out of something so simple it would have annoyed the shit out of me, the same as a lot of things, but on Toby it was endearing as fuck.
I didn’t want to think about why things that Toby did were cute when I found the same habits annoying elsewhere, because we’d agreed that whatever this was, it was just for fun.
I wasn’t meant to be taking it seriously or thinking about what things might look like if we went beyond a couple of weeks.
The problem was I didn’t get a say in what my brain or my heart decided.
I could tell them not to imagine what it would be like to keep Toby in my life but that meant fuck all in the grand scheme of things. I liked Toby, he charmed and fascinated me in equal measure, and he was one of the most beautiful men I’d ever seen.
How could I not consider other possibilities beyond two or three weeks of secret fucks?
Besides, I was a stubborn bastard. If people told me not to do something, there was a good chance I’d do it to spite them.
“Right,” I said, attempting to shake myself out of my wandering thoughts before I got lost. “Lifts! And then, we’re doing the whole thing from the top. With the music! We’ve got two training sessions left and we’re going to use every minute of them.”