Chapter Thirteen
Toby
I couldn’t believe Nico was here, holding my hand with a smile on his face. This must have been how people felt when they won the lottery or something.
Maybe not that excited, but still. I’d thought last night that I’d ruined everything, and I’d have to spend the next ten days or so enduring nothing but frosty silence from Nico.
I’d still thought that all the way through our messenger conversation until he’d said he couldn’t wait to see me, and even then I’d had to read it two or three times before it sank in. But now he was here, with his hand in mine and no frost in sight.
Perhaps things wouldn’t work out quite the way I hoped, but this was a good start.
“Here we are,” I said, gently steering him through the open gateway and up the stone steps towards my front door.
There was a nervous bubbling in my stomach, and I glanced across at him to see if I could read Nico’s expression.
I was well aware my house made me look like a pretentious pop diva, but I hoped he wouldn’t judge me for it.
“Very nice,” Nico said as I opened the front door and gestured for him to go inside. Warmth enveloped us as we stepped through the door and I sighed, because it really had been colder outside than I’d anticipated.
“Thanks, I did none of it,” I said, kicking off my trainers and pulling on my fluffy dog slippers. I was sure I heard Nico chuckle when he saw them, but he didn’t say anything. “Interior design isn’t really my strong suit, and I wanted it to look like I had taste.”
“Is that a roundabout way of saying you have none?”
I laughed. “Sort of. I bought this place in my mid-twenties, and how many twenty-four-year-old men do you know with good taste in interior decorating?”
“Several actually,” he said as he slid off his coat and looked around for somewhere to put it. I held out my hand to take it, hanging it up in the nearby cupboard and trying not to focus on the way Nico’s slutty little roll-neck jumper clung to his body. It wasn’t doing anything for my focus.
“Then again,” he continued as he rummaged in his bag and pulled out a box of chocolates, “my brother used to live in a flat that was literally a mattress on the floor, an armchair, his TV, and his consoles. He was like the poster boy for straight bros.”
“Dai’s first place was similar. He had one set of sheets and one towel and couldn’t understand why people were horrified.
He always said the towel didn’t need washing because he was clean when he used it.
” I shuddered slightly as I remembered him explaining that. I’d never seen Haru look so shocked.
“Okay, that’s pretty gross.”
“That’s what we said. I think he grew up with a mum who did everything for him, so he was a bit unprepared for reality.”
“Same as Adam,” Nico said. “He’s the youngest, so he got a bit babied.” He lifted the box of chocolates slightly. “Is Mrs Nolan around or is there somewhere I should leave these?”
“She’s gone home for the day. She usually finishes between five and six, but she’s left dinner for us—because she is a literal angel—”
“And you can’t be trusted with her kitchen.”
“That too,” I said with a laugh as I gestured for him to follow me. “She’ll be back in the morning, though, so you can leave the chocolates for her, if you’re okay with that? Did you want to give them to her personally?”
“No, but do you have something I can write her a note on?”
“Yeah, I have notebooks everywhere.” I tended to pick my notebooks up and walk around the house with them when I was working, so they ended up everywhere.
The annoying part was when I wrote some lyrics absentmindedly, put the book down, and then later had to hunt around the house to work out which notebook I’d written them in.
“Would you like a drink?” I asked as I led Nico through to the kitchen where the smell of braising lamb shanks filled the air and made my mouth water. It had been tormenting me all afternoon but soon I’d finally get to eat them. I didn’t know whether Nico and I should talk first, though.
“A drink would be great, thanks,” Nico said. “Anything you’ve got. I’m not picky.”
“Do you fancy a glass of wine?”
“Sounds perfect.”
“Is red okay?” I asked, sliding a notebook and pen over the counter to Nico. It had flamingos on the cover. “I’ve got a very nice Bordeaux I’ve been waiting to open.”
He raised his eyebrow. “Saving it for something special?”
“Sort of…” I felt my face flush slightly. “I’d, er, sort of been saving it for company.”
“Company?” He looked very amused but there was a dark glint in his eye that made me weak at the knees. “What sort of company? Your board game night?”
I shook my head as I rummaged in a drawer for a corkscrew. “No. For something like this.”
“And what is this?”
“I don’t know, but I’m hoping it’s more than two friends having dinner,” I said, my eyes meeting his.
I wasn’t going to dance around what I wanted or try and be coy.
The only way this would maybe work out was if I was honest. “I really like you, Nico. And I know we’re probably breaking all sorts of rules, but I won’t tell anyone and I won’t hold you to anything.
This could just be something fun and sexy. It doesn’t have to mean anything.”
I didn’t know whether I actually wanted it to mean anything or not. I hadn’t gotten that far.
Mostly because I hadn’t allowed myself to think about doing more than simply hooking up with him. I’d never been in love, never had a solid long-term relationship, and as much as I wanted those things, it wasn’t sensible to project those onto Nico.
We might have spent a lot of time together over the last few weeks, but that didn’t really mean much. Being forced to spend time together in close proximity didn’t mean we’d actually have any chemistry outside the studio.
Although every time I thought that, my mind drifted back to our lunch at La Petite Souris and the way we’d spent hours there chatting about anything that crossed our minds.
We’d bounced around from topic to topic, sharing stories and laughing.
And never once had I felt like Toby Darling, boy band idol.
I’d just felt like Toby.
“We’re definitely breaking the rules,” Nico said, walking slowly around the counter until there was nothing between us but several feet of air. “But we’re also not the first.”
“Have there ever been any consequences?”
“For the dancers? Sometimes, yeah. Most of them have left the show. Maybe one or two managed to get away with it, but not for a long time. I think it depends on how they frame it—if it’s after the show, there’s usually a bit more leeway than if it happens during filming.
I don’t know how it’s affected the celebrities, though.
I guess it depends on if you get caught and how many hearts you break.
But you… your fame is a whole new level to anyone else’s. ”
That was true, at least in terms of other people who’d fallen for their dance partner.
I let out a huff of frustration because I hated how, after all this time, I was still letting my past career dictate my future.
Would the fandom always get a say over what I did for the rest of my life?
Because if so, that would be really bloody irritating.
“True, but I don’t care about that. I don’t need their approval and I…
I want to stop letting them dictate my life.
It’s been four years, when do I say enough is enough?
” I stepped a little closer to him. “I want to decide for myself. And I want you, Nico. Even if all we do is just have some fun for a few weeks. But I need to hear you say it.”
There was a pause, and for a moment I wondered if I’d truly fucked everything up.
Then Nico surged forward and pulled me into a hungry kiss.
I groaned as my fingers grabbed the front of his jumper, my tongue pressing into his mouth as I took a wobbly step backwards.
Nico pinned me against the counter, his hand gently sliding under my jumper to rest on my hip, his touch sending heat flooding through me, removing any lingering traces of cold from my skin.
“I want you, Toby,” he said, voice rough as he breathed the words against my lips. “I can’t stop thinking about it.”
“Me neither. Couldn’t sleep last night because of it.”
“Yeah? What do you want?”
“Everything.”
“That’s not very specific,” he said as he kissed me again, his thumb stroking my hip and making all thought impossible. “Tell me. What do you want right now?”
“I want to come,” I said, my hips giving the tiniest aborted thrust towards him as my cock hardened in my jeans.
“That’s a good start. Want me to make you come?”
“Yes. And I want you to come too.”
“Sweetheart, if you’re coming then so am I.” He smirked against my lips before kissing me deeply, his fingers slowly dipping under the waistband of my jeans and sliding across my stomach to reach the button. “Want me to jerk us off?”
“Yes!”
“Fuck, you’re so hard for me already,” he said as he popped my jeans open, and I gasped as the tips of his fingers teased the head of my cock through my underwear. “Undo my jeans.”
I fumbled slightly as I reached between us for the buttons on his jeans, which didn’t open as smoothly as I wanted.
“Next time, no button flies,” I said with a huff of frustration as Nico chuckled and trailed kisses down my neck, which were equally delicious and distracting.
That was probably why I couldn’t get those fucking buttons undone.
Nico moaned as I slipped my hand into his underwear to stroke his cock, the sound going straight to my dick. It was the same moan that had been playing on repeat in my mind since I’d left the studio last night, and it would be the same tonight.
“Push my jeans down,” Nico said, his fingers grabbing both my waistbands and gently wiggling them down just enough to free my cock. I did the same, as best I could, because desperation had absolutely fucked my sense of coordination.
His mouth met mine again in a heated kiss that had me melting against the counter. I didn’t care that the edge was digging into my spine. I had better things to focus on.
Like the way Nico lifted his hand up and spat into his palm before wrapping it tightly around our shafts.
The heat and pressure were enough to make my head spin, but then he began to stroke us slowly, keeping our cocks pressed together, and the burst of perfect friction made me gasp against his lips.
“Fuck, Toby, you feel so fucking good,” Nico said as we kissed desperately, my fingers clinging to the front of his jumper as I tried to ground myself.
“Mmm, yes… fuck, Nico! Fuck, that’s… ahh, so good.
” I groaned, my hips trying to thrust as he stroked us.
His grip was so firm and perfect I already knew I wasn’t going to last. But fuck, this was exactly what I’d needed—something hot and fast and dirty to take the edge off after a whole day of waiting.
Slow exploration could happen later. Right now, we both just needed to come.
He jerked us faster, thumb swiping over the heads of our cocks to smear precum across our skin.
The friction was starting to burn but I didn’t want him to stop.
Our kissing had dissolved into broken moans and heavy breathing into each other’s mouths, a few words thrown out here and there, but I couldn’t focus enough to add anything else.
“N-Nico,” I said with a moan as I felt the familiar rush of my oncoming orgasm. “I’m… fuck, I’m close.”
“Fuck, me too. Gonna come for me, sweetheart? Wanna hear you.”
I gasped, my cock pulsing in his hand as I coated his skin in my release, filthy, slick sounds filling the air as pleasure enveloped me.
Nico groaned, kissing me fiercely as his dick throbbed, more cum coating our shafts as he added his load to mine.
He kept stroking us, his pace slowing as he drew both our orgasms out until my whole body was tingling.
It felt like I was floating on air.
I returned his kisses, humming softly as my tongue licked into his mouth. “Give me your hand,” I murmured as I playfully nipped his bottom lip. “I want to taste us.”
Nico smirked as he pulled away, just far enough to lift his hand between us.
His skin was dripping with our cum. I leant forward slightly and licked his palm, collecting the salty liquid on my tongue before sucking one of his fingers into my mouth.
Nico swore, his gaze locked on me as I slowly began to clean his hand.
And when I released his fingers, he slid his other hand around the back of my neck and pulled me into a deep kiss, his tongue searching out a taste of us.
I smiled and brushed my tongue against his, sharing spit and cum with him.
“Next time,” I said. “I want it straight from the source.”
Nico groaned, eyes blazing with hunger. “You can have whatever you want.”
“Good.”
There were so many things I needed from him.
I only hoped our arrangement would last long enough for me to get them all.