Chapter 46
‘Hello, Michelle.’
The shock took my breath away. I couldn’t speak.
‘I hope you don’t mind me coming.’
I stared into the big brown eyes before me, wondering if I was dreaming.
‘Say something please. You’re scaring me.’
After a moment or two, I swallowed and breathed out through my lips.
‘Michelle?’
‘What are you doing here?’
‘Well, that’s a nice welcome.’
‘But… I’m flabbergasted to see you. You were the last person I expected to see tonight.’
‘I hope you don’t mind me coming. It was your brother, you see. He called me.’
I looked over to where Seth was stood at the bar, giving me a questionable thumbs-up. What had he done?
‘Can we talk?’
He was wearing a pair of jeans, and a brushed cotton checked shirt. I wanted to reach out. Stroke his face. Touch his hair. Was he really stood in front of me or was my mind playing tricks on me? It was a struggle to keep my hands by my side.
‘Michelle?’ he prompted again, bringing me back to the present.
‘Erm… Sorry. Yes.’ I tried to unclench my fists. ‘Shall we go outside?’ I led the way and tried to glance at him without him noticing but he didn’t seem to be taking his eyes off me.
Outside the barn, there were a number of tables and chairs set up. It was very quiet and I invited him to sit at the table furthest away. I folded my arms across my chest defensively.
‘Demetri, what are you doing here?’ I asked, still not quite believing he was really here.
‘Seth told me that I had some explaining to do.’
‘Did he now?’ I narrowed my eyes at my brother, who was now standing in the barn doorway, his arms folded and his eyes fixed onto mine, clearly making sure I was OK. I nodded briefly and he turned and headed back inside. I turned back to the man I was struggling not to throw myself at.
‘Shoot!’
‘When Seth phoned me he told me we should talk and thought that it might be nice if I came to this event. Tried to explain what had happened when you came over to Amarissa.’ His eyes never left mine and his face softened. ‘God! It’s so good to see you, Michelle. I’ve missed you so much.’
I nodded slowly but couldn’t bring myself to say the words I’d missed him too, even though I had with every beat of my heart.
‘You rushed off before I had a chance to explain. I know what you think you saw in Amarissa but it really wasn’t.’
I could feel my eyebrows rise. It would be interesting to see how he explained this away and in fact why it had taken him so long to reach out to me. It had been weeks. Although I remembered that I’d blocked his number so he couldn’t have called me anyway. He hesitated before he spoke again.
‘On the evening that I saw you in the town square, an hour after we went back to the house, my mother passed away. I wanted to come to you but I couldn’t.
I couldn’t get away immediately as we had all the formalities to sort out.
By the time the doctor had been out and I did come back to the square, which was a few hours later, you were gone.
I spoke to Callie and she said she’d taken you back to the ferry and that you were determined to leave.
I’m sorry you felt that way. That you didn’t trust me to come back.
I wouldn’t have blamed you either under the circumstances. But it wasn’t what you thought.’
‘I’m sorry to hear the news about your mother, Demetri.
That is truly awful.’ I hesitated. When he was going through such a dreadful time, I hadn’t stuck around to wait to hear his explanation.
I was now thinking that I’d just added to his emotional load at a time that was already difficult.
Should I have waited? But I saw him hand in hand with a little girl that looked just like him.
And clearly a woman who looked just like her too by their side.
How could I ever compete with a family like that?
‘But you have a child, Demetri, and you purposely omitted to tell me. And that was wrong whichever way you look at it.’
‘But you don’t understand.’ He reached out to touch my arm. I flinched at his touch.
‘Damn right I don’t understand, Demetri. How could you have kept such a massive secret from me? Did you think I’d never find out about Athena? Really?’ I stood quickly, pushing the chair away with my legs. How did he think that coming here would change things? I was no fool.
‘This is why I’m asking you to let me explain. Please, Michelle. Give me a chance.’
‘What is there to explain? Why did you never tell me about your wife and child? I’m sorry that you lost your mother.
I really am. As someone who has lost both of their parents, I know how that feels.
But it doesn’t excuse what you covered up for so long.
It’s not fair on Katrina and Athena and it’s not fair on me. ’
‘Michelle.’ My voice was being shouted from the barn door. ‘You’re needed.’
I looked deeply into Demetri’s eyes and then had to ignore the pull that I felt towards him, this man who I had loved so deeply.
Someone I had tried to shut out, but who had broken through all my barriers and loved me anyway.
For who I really was, baggage and all. I lowered my head and took a step away from him.
He gently tugged at my hand and pulled me back to him as I tried to walk away, but I shook it off.
‘I have to go. I’m sorry but I don’t really think that there’s anything more to say.
I will not compete for your love with another woman and your child.
I can’t. You should just go. There’s nothing here for you any more.
’ I lowered my eyes from his and headed back to the barn, hoping that he wouldn’t notice there were tears streaming down my cheeks after I’d said some of the harshest words I’d ever said.
When I reached the barn, and had wiped away my tears, I headed in to help Jo and Emma give a few small gifts out to some of the people who had played the biggest parts in pulling the event together.
Jo and Emma, not knowing anything about Demetri turning up, tried to pull me back into the dance line, but I just wasn’t in the mood any more.
Seth and Daisy were dancing in the front line and laughing their heads off.
Ava and Mia were watching from the sidelines, typical teenagers, taking selfies of themselves pulling daft faces and giving peace signs, wanting to be part of the frivolity, but not wanting to look foolish.
Who’d be a teenager in this day and age? Not me, that was for sure.
I didn’t want to bring down anyone else’s mood but I just wanted to take myself home and hide under the duvet again.
I’d spent the last few weeks trying to hold everything together only to have it all come crashing down again, just because Demetri had decided he was going to come and talk to me.
I hoped he had taken my advice and left.
It was the best thing for all of us. Seeing him had been so incredibly hard. My heart was hurting all over again.
But when I turned the corner, there he was, talking to a woman who had her back to me.
He clearly hadn’t listened to what I wanted.
She was shouting and gesticulating wildly at him, and he was just standing there, shoulders slumped, letting her rant.
The woman turned sideways and I saw who it was.
I should have known. Not only was he a complete snake, but he’d also brought Katrina with him.
The cheek of him. I took a step towards them, about to give them both a piece of my mind, but then caught a part of the conversation where the name Makis was mentioned, which made my spine tingle.
I retreated behind a beer barrel table and crouched down.
It was such a still summer night I could hear every word.
‘Demetri, you cannot cover up for Makis for all of his life. He’s an adult and has to take some responsibility for his own actions. Now your mama isn’t around any more, it doesn’t have to stay a secret. This is your time now. Time to reclaim your own life.’
‘But what about Athena? What will she think of me? What will she think of Makis?’
‘To be honest I don’t care what she thinks of him.
She needs to know the truth about her precious’ – she made speech marks in the air – ‘“Uncle Makis”. She’ll be fine.
We can’t all go on pretending that our lives are something they’re not.
It’s not fair on any of us. Least of all you.
You have the chance of something special, Demetri. You need to set the record straight.’
Demetri tilted his head to the side and pursed his lips.
Set the record straight, did she say? What on earth was she talking about?
His mouth opened but no words came out.
‘You know I’m right, Demi. She’ll understand. Just tell her the truth.’
Was this me that Katrina was talking about?
‘No good ever comes from keeping the truth back. All it does is tie people up in knots. It’s time for us all to stop living this lie.’
He bowed his head and she moved towards him, taking her in his arms and giving him a hug. That was hard to watch as I didn’t know what to expect next.
She kissed his cheek and he took her hands in his.
‘OK,’ he said. ‘I’ll do it.’
Shit, he was heading my way. I stayed as still as I could and was as quiet as a mouse when he walked past.
‘Michelle? Is that you?’
Was there anything more undignified than him noticing me crouching behind a barrel? I shook my head at myself.
‘Ah yes, Demetri, hi. Ah, there it is.’ I reached down to the ground as if to pick something up. ‘Earring.’ I pretended to hook back in the earring that was already in my ear, hoping he didn’t notice.
He looked at me with a very odd expression on his face, then held his hand out to mine.
‘Please, Michelle. Just come and listen to me. It’s time for the truth. Finally. The whole truth. Please trust me one more time. All I’m asking you to do is listen. When you’ve heard everything, it’s up to you what comes next.’
I glanced down at his outstretched hand.
My eyes flicked up to his face and then back again at his hand.
A strange feeling swept throughout my body.
It was as if a little voice in my head was telling me what to do.
The exact same feeling that I’d had when I was in that church in Amarissa.
As if someone was telling me to take a leap of faith.
I reached out and his hand closed tightly around mine.
My hand felt like it was back where it belonged.