Chapter 22
W hen Anirudh reached Rachanna’s house, Asmee came running to him.
“Hey, Uncle!”
“Hi, Asmee,” greeted Anirudh as he picked up the child and swung her around. Anirudh felt pleasure shoot through his heart when he held the child in his arms. His child. Asmee laughed gleefully.
When he put her down, she said, “ Amma was saying I should stop calling you Uncle and start calling you Dad.”
Happiness flooded his senses when he heard Asmee say ‘Dad’ in reference to him. His eyes started to tear up. He controlled his emotions and said, “Well, Asmee, you can call me anything you want.”
Even though there was nothing Anirudh would have loved more than being called Dad by Asmee, he wanted her to take all the time she needed to get used to the fact.
“Can I call you Uncle for some more time?” Asmee pleaded.
Heavily disappointed, Anirudh realised he had been hoping against hope that Asmee would start calling him Dad right away. He nodded. “Yes. But will you promise to try again when you are more comfortable?”
“Yes,” replied Asmee hesitantly. “I am glad we are all going to stay together.”
He knelt down next to her and said, “You realise that we are not just going to be living together, right? I am going to marry your mom. I am going to be your new dad.”
“But I already have a dad.”
“And he will always be your dad. But I would also like to be your dad.”
“Because you don’t have any kids of your own?”
Anirudh smiled and nodded. “Yeah. Of all the kids in the world, I thought you would make the best daughter.”
She grinned. “I am the best daughter. Does that mean you will play with me every day?”
“Yes.”
“Even football.”
“Yes. Anything you want.”
“Will you take me out to dinner every week?”
“Yes. I promise.”
Asmee grinned. “Then I am very happy we are all going to stay together. Would you like to meet my dad?”
Anirudh looked taken aback. Then, he nodded. Asmee took his hand and led him to Samay’s room. The room was as vibrant as the rest of the house. Photos of Samay filled one of the walls. There was a graduation photo, a wedding photo, a family photo, and a few more pictures that were taken when he must’ve been healthy.
A red sports t-shirt hung on the wall, his name on the back. Anirudh guessed Samay played football. The shelves were filled with trophies and awards. The bookshelves were filled with books on mythology, self-help and crime fiction. The wardrobe was filled with his shirts. It was as if Samay still lived in that room.
When Rachanna joined them, Anirudh glared at her. He whispered, “You know…I don’t remember accepting your proposal.”
She grinned sheepishly. “Oh, you will…”
Asmee pointed to the photo on the wall. “That is us! That’s my dad! Samay. That’s Amma and that is me. I was only three years old then.”
Anirudh looked at the photo. Samay was sitting in a wheelchair and Asmee was sitting on his lap. Rachanna was kneeling beside them, her hand over his.
Jealousy painfully zipped through Anirudh as he looked at that photo. Severe misgivings and the feeling that life had dealt with him unfairly muddled his head. Then, he shook his head before he smiled. “You look beautiful, Asmee. You too, Rachanna.”
“And my dad looked handsome too, didn’t he?”
Rachanna tried to interrupt her. “Asmee! Enough…”
“No, it’s okay. Yes, he looks exceptionally handsome.”
Asmee powered on the computer and played videos of her father and her together. There was one where Samay held her on his lap, and he was almost singing. “My darling baby…my sweetie pie…my cutie pie…”
He was kissing her cheeks and Asmee was giggling.
“The most wonderful baby in the whole world…my life… you are my world, you know that, right? My darling girl knows that, right?”
He tickled her, and Asmee broke into a fit of giggles again.
“See? He loved me!” Asmee said, as she looked expectantly at Anirudh.
Anirudh’s throat closed up as he tried very hard to smile. Then, he nodded. “Yes, he really did.”
“Let me show you another video…”
Rachanna said, “No! That’s enough! Come out now, both of you!”
“Why? I want Uncle to see my dad!” Asmee lamented.
“Later. Not now. Come! Let’s have dinner.”
“ Amma …”
“Asmee! Enough!” Rachanna said again, sternly.
Anirudh would have insisted on taking Asmee’s side and would have insisted on seeing a few more videos. But his throat was too choked up and he could not say anything. He just wanted to get out of the room. It was suffocating him.
Asmee finally gave up and as they closed the room behind them, she said, “You can use that room anytime you want, Uncle.”
Anirudh looked at Asmee gratefully for letting him inside a very sacred part of her life.
***
Kalpana and Raji were in the car park, waiting for their driver, when Rachanna and Anirudh reached the basement.
“Hello,” greeted Kalpana, looking from Rachanna to Anirudh.
Rachanna’s cheeks burned as she endeavoured to control her emotions. She reminded herself that she had nothing to be ashamed of.
“Going on a date?” Raji asked with a soft jeer.
Rachanna looked at Anirudh. He nodded and gave her the silent encouragement she needed.
“Actually, Aunty…we are getting married. We will send you the invite.”
“What?” A shocked Kalpana asked. “What about Asmee?”
“What about her? She will be getting a new father.”
“But… but…” stammered Raji, looking from Rachanna to Anirudh. He watched them from a distance as if their conversation was the most boring thing he had to endure. Raji looked back at Rachanna and finally muttered, “Well, congratulations then.”
“Thank you.”
Kalpana also congratulated them. Anirudh gave them a barely susceptible nod and looked away.
“I will come over with the invitation card soon,” said Rachanna.
Kalpana’s eyes brightened up. “Sure. Actually, we are redoing the house. So, call before you come.”
“Sure,” said Rachanna, making to move away.
But Kalpana did not want to give up a chance to talk about the renovations to her home. “We are redoing the living room completely. New panels on the wall. New furniture. New fixtures too. And we are renovating the balcony too. You will love it.”
“I am sure,” replied Rachanna politely. She had already heard enough about Kalpana’s renovation plans from Usha. They were spending lakhs and fully air conditioning their house.
“Have you thought about redoing your house?” Raji asked, playfully raising her eyebrows at them. “Maybe do away with Samay’s room…” she added, casting a quick meaningful glance at Kalpana.
Anirudh interjected before Rachanna could answer. “I think Samay’s room will stay the way it is. There is enough room for the three of us even otherwise.”
“You are moving into her house?”
“Of course. Asmee is comfortable there. She may not prefer to move. I want what Asmee wants.”
There was silence as Kalpana and Raji looked at Anirudh appraisingly. “Hmm… It is a slightly old-fashioned house. You need to redo the rest of the house at least.”
Rachanna replied, “Nah! We all like the house as it is.”
Rachanna hugged Anirudh’s arm and leaned on him. Kalpana and Raji’s mouths opened slightly at her public display of affection.
Rachanna continued, “I know people who spend lakhs redoing their houses and end up keeping their house shut most of the time. They fully air-condition their house and can’t even crack open a window…”
Kalpana managed to move her eyes from Rachanna’s hand and looked at her face. Then, she muttered, “Yeah. We have to do that. Else, the décor will spoil, right?”
Rachanna shrugged. “Well, we think the best décor comes from sunlight and fresh air. But to each his. We will see you later.”
Rachanna waved and still holding Anirudh’s arm, they walked to the car.
“Now, the whole society will know about us!” Rachanna murmured.
Anirudh rolled his eyes at her. “Are you honestly under the impression that they didn’t know already?”
But Rachanna was past caring. She laughed. She had never felt this good after talking to Raji or Kalpana ever before.
***
Anirudh and Rachanna were having tea when Asmee walked in from school. She removed her shoes, threw her school bag and lunch bag on the floor before plopping on the sofa. “Ufff!” She exclaimed.
Rachanna looked at Anirudh and grinned. She then turned to Asmee and said, “Looks like someone is tired.”
Asmee looked at her mother. “They are overworking us at school.”
“Hmm…”
“If one teacher cannot teach all subjects, how can a student learn all the subjects? And they are so big, and we are so small. It’s not fair!” She complained, putting on a sad face.
Rachanna rolled her eyes. “Remove your socks and wash your hands.”
“No! I don’t think I can move. I am very, very tired.”
“I have a few slices of cake here.”
Asmee looked at her for a few moments and then asked in a drawn-out voice, “Is any of them chocolate?”
“Yes. Come quick, else Anirudh Uncle will finish them off.”
Anirudh nodded. “Yes…the chocolate cake does look very, very tempting.”
He moved his hand towards the cake slowly. Asmee jumped from the sofa and ran to the dining table.
“Wash your hands first!” Rachanna ordered as Asmee attempted to take a slice.
Torn between washing her hands and trying to save the cake from Anirudh, she looked undecided for a few moments. Then, she took the plate with the chocolate cake and kept it far away from Anirudh and then rushed to wash her hands. Anirudh and Rachanna laughed because she kept her eyes fixed on Anirudh even as she washed her hands, making sure he made no move to take her chocolate cake.
“I am imposing a new rule from today,” started Anirudh.
“Oh no!” Asmee said as she sat on the table and started to eat her cake. “Till now I had only Amma making rules. Now, I have two adults making rules?” She asked with a frown.
“Yes. The rule is you have to give me a kiss as soon as you come back from school. And a kiss before you leave for school.”
“Every day?”
“Every day.”
“Hmm…But I will kiss you only if no one is around. You cannot kiss me in front of my friends.”
“Oh! That I won’t do. I won’t do anything to embarrass you in front of your friends.”
Rachanna cut in, “Oh, Anirudh! Don’t make promises we cannot keep. Parents very existence sometimes embarrasses them…”
Anirudh grinned. “Well, I can try…”
Asmee went to Anirudh. She gave him a big hug and a chocolate covered kiss on his cheek. Anirudh returned the kiss.
“Your skin is not as smooth as Amma ’s.”
“I know…” admitted Anirudh, disappointed.
“I like it…” said Asmee, smiling.
Anirudh grinned.
She continued, “I have kissed my father several times but I don’t remember it. His cheek would also have been this rough, right?”
Anirudh nodded. Asmee resumed eating her cake.
“Asmee…”
“Hmmm…”
“You know I love your dad, right? I still love him very much. Marrying Anirudh does not change anything.”
“I know. He is a nice guy.”
Anirudh grinned. “Thank you.”
“Are you happy with him?”
“Yes. It is lovely to have a father to drop me at school. Like all my other classmates. And he is funny, too. He makes me laugh. And he plays football with me. Something you never do. And he can run fast. You…”
“Yes, I can’t run like him,” said Rachanna.
“He is good.”
“I am happy that you like him.”
“Hmm…yes, I love my new dad.”
Anirudh’s eyes watered slightly, and he averted his face so that Asmee wouldn’t see his tears.
“Do you think we should pack Dad’s stuff? You can use that room as your bedroom,” suggested Rachanna.
Asmee’s face fell. Rachanna’s heart filled with dread but she waited.
After a few minutes of concentrating only on her cake, she finally looked up and said, “You cannot change the room.”
Rachanna sighed. “Okay. We will keep it like it is. I just wanted to know your opinion.”
After a few minutes of thinking, Asmee said, “But we can go to another house.”
“Really?” Rachanna asked, surprised.
“Yes. Whenever we want to visit Dad, we can come to this house. Anyway, I know everything in that room. I know every single thing. I don’t even have to go into that room every day. Maybe, only once in a while. We can live somewhere and visit here every weekend.”
“Hmm…that is actually a very, very good idea,” said Rachanna as she looked at Anirudh.
Anirudh nodded. “Yeah, we can do that.”
Rachanna continued to look astounded. “The girl is brilliant.”
“Probably her father’s genes,” said Anirudh, looking at Rachanna, humour dancing in his eyes.
Rachanna glared at him but, unable to contain it any longer, burst out laughing.
“See? I told you I was brilliant. Just like my dads.”
“And your mom,” pipped Rachanna.
“Well…” replied Asmee, reluctant to agree.
Rachanna glared at Asmee. “What a devil you are!”
Asmee laughed. “I was only kidding. You are brilliant as well.”
“Well, humph!” Rachanna replied in mock anger.
Asmee giggled again as she moved to give Rachanna a chocolate covered kiss.
***
Later that night, after Asmee had gone to bed, Rachanna and Anirudh sat on their balcony, discussing their future.
“Listen! I am planning to visit my in-laws tomorrow. Can you come with me?”
“Why?” Anirudh asked, shocked.
“I am going to tell them we are getting married. I would like to have you around for support.”
“I don’t mind visiting your parents. But your in-laws… Uh!” Anirudh said, scowling.
“Oh, come on! Please. I would like to introduce you to them.”
“I don’t understand. Why can’t you do it alone?”
“Because it brings back some very painful memories. When I told my parents that I wanted to marry Samay, we fought and they threw me out of their house. I don’t think I have it in me to go through a situation like that again…that too, all alone.”
Anirudh grunted in dismay.
Rachanna went on, “And moreover, they are very important people in Asmee’s life…”
“Fine! You cannot keep using her for everything,” replied Anirudh, finally giving in.
She grinned. “Oh! I will try. By the way, I cannot believe Asmee gave us such a wonderful idea. We can move to your house,” said Rachanna cheerfully.
Anirudh looked thoughtful. “I have a bigger house near the beach. Do you think we should move there?”
Rachanna looked at him, surprised. “Why? Your grandma is here…”
“I don’t like this society. The people here are too judgemental. Why should we expose Asmee to all this?”
Rachanna laughed as if at some internal joke.
Anirudh was surprised. “Why are you laughing? This is serious…”
“Isn’t the society supposed to judge? Isn’t that what it is for?”
He frowned. “What do you mean?”
“Take the example of drinking. A few decades back, not everyone was a drunk. The few people who did drink where branded as kudikaran in Tamil. They were chastised. People who would drink lost respect in society. Their opinions were not valued. Do you think society was wrong? No! I don’t think so. Yes, they labelled people. Yes, they disrespected them. Yes, they removed them from society. Was that wrong though? Not really! Because a lot of people did not take up drinking because they were scared of what society might say. A lot of people towed the line. Definitely not the women in every house!”
Anirudh laughed. “I see where you are going with this…”
Rachanna continued, “But now? Drinking has become hep. It has become an integral part of our lives. And we have come up with innovative ways for an excuse to get drunk. ‘Oh! I am just an occasional drinker’, ‘Hey! Do you want to hang out? Have a few shots?’, ‘Let’s party! Let’s get drunk!’”
He laughed at her mimicry.
“And they smoke too,” said Rachanna, shaking her head. “So many ads showing grotesque pictures of cancer patients suffering… But who cares? Suffering only comes to other people. Not to us! We can puff away on a cigarette in one hand and drink alcohol from the other …”
“Some prefer cigars.”
“Oh, yeah! Cigar in one hand…and a drink in the other! So cool!”
“It has become cool,” agreed Anirudh.
Rachanna scoffed. “Do you know what is not cool nowadays? To be sitting out. All the others who drink are shocked! ‘You don’t drink? What is wrong with you?’ Is the question. Just think about it. Is that the right question? Shouldn’t the person not drinking be applauded? Instead, they are criticised.”
“That is true…”
“See how messed up society is? Do you know why this happens? Somehow movies, books and the western culture have taught us Indians that drinking is cool. It is hep. And we, as a society, have accepted it. But do you know what I think? I think, we as a society, have failed. I think we should continue to judge people who drink. Continue to call them horrid names.
“Maybe then, people will not sit in living rooms and drink. Just imagine! Parents drinking in the living room with the kids around. The kids see their parents talking, chatting and laughing with friends while consuming liquor. What kind of a message are we sending them?”
“I know…”
“How do you think they will grow up? Do you think they will grow up and abstain themselves from drinking? No! They probably will end up doing drugs. Where is this society going? When the kids reach their teens, the parents themselves will introduce them to shots. Mark my words…it will happen. Who knows? Maybe that will become the trend. Encourage them while they are young.”
Anirudh shook his head. “That’s going overboard. I don’t think that is possible.”
“Why not? Fifty years ago, did you imagine people drinking in their living rooms and having fun? Could you have imagined drinking to become a posh enough activity that it was done during office outings, friends catching up and congratulatory dinners? Could you have imagined that there could be no party without drinks? Could people have imagined all the ladies joining in too? No! There used to be fights.
“Other people, including wives, had the guts to call out that drinking was bad. They had the courage to point it out. They had the courage to call an axe an axe. But now? The ladies and the elders have stopped fighting; instead they have joined in! O, my God! Why? Why did that happen? No one says drinking is bad now.
“They are scared. Can you even imagine doing that now? Can you go out with your friends and be the only non-drinker? If they force you to drink, can you say, ‘You are the drunken dogs here. I don’t want to join in’? Can you say that? No! You cannot! That is what society has become.”
“So, the society should judge?”
“Yes, it should. When necessary. It stopped judging people who drink. And we failed as a society!”
“Hmm…never thought about it that way.”
“It is true that society judges. Isn’t that what it is for anyway?”
“Well, I was not talking about drinking. But it judges for everything…”
“Yes, it does. You want to take only the pros but don’t want to deal with the cons, is it? That can never be. You have to accept both. Imagine…I am wearing skinny jeans. Kalpana comes to me and says, ‘How can you dress like that? It is not appropriate.’ Do you think I will listen to her and stop wearing skinny jeans?”
“I hope not. You look very cute in them,” said Anirudh, casting an appreciative glance at her.
Rachanna laughed. “I will not stop wearing them because I know I am not doing anything wrong. I will continue to wear them and Kalpana will soon accept me for what I am. ‘That girl is always like that’. That’s it. But if there is something that I can change for the better…even if it is only because I am scared of society’s judgement…why the hell is that so bad? Good behaviour is in short commodity right now. A bit more could do the world a whole lot of good.”
“Hmm… let me ask you a question.”
“Yeah?”
“Why have you given so much thought to this?” Anirudh asked.
“You know why. I never was a heavy drinker. I was an ‘occasional drinker’,” she said and rolled her eyes. “But I drank so much that night with you. And look what happened! So, I started thinking. Who the hell told me that having a good time meant I could drink? If I had thought for a few minutes, I would have realised it. It spoils the liver, gives me a terrible hangover.
“Why the bloody hell should I drink? And I would not have drunk so much. We all have stopped thinking. That is the problem. I should have thought about it and refrained myself. I just lost it that day, right? It enabled me to do a terrible mistake. If I had stayed here, in this society, do you think I would have gotten drunk? No. I got drunk because I was in some other place with no society to judge me!”
“So, society is good?”
“It is good. We are social beings. We should learn how to live with others. Not run away to a forest or lock ourselves in. Or go to a beach house away from everyone else. How will that help us? If Asmee is being judged and ridiculed, let it be. It will be a lesson for her on how to deal with people like that. We cannot keep protecting her, right? Good chance for her to learn.”
Anirudh pondered over this for a long time. “Yeah. Makes sense. If we protect her too much, it will backfire. Look at Buddha! His father tried to protect him from knowing about old age, illness and death. Oooo! That backfired sooo badly, didn’t it?”
Her eyes widened. “Exactly! Exactly!”
He laughed. “And the next time I am out with my friends, I will make it a point to call them ‘drunken dogs’. Let me make note of that!”
“You should. Else, what kind of a friend are you? And you know what? If you say no to your friends who are compelling you to have drinks and Asmee comes to know about it, imagine the kind of lesson it will be for her! A lesson on how not to give in to peer pressure! What better thing can you teach her?”
“Aah! Point!” Anirudh said, laughing.