27
Caleb
I pack the last of my shaving kit into my small suitcase and roll it to the front door. I’ll take most of my casual clothes with me to Cedar Brook this weekend. I’ll only need a couple of T-shirts and sweatpants for the apartment here.
Once the baby arrives, I’ll take time off to be with Charlotte, but in the meantime, I’ve got work to do.
When I open the door, Michael is pacing in the hallway. I look right and left and wonder who or what is bothering him. “What are you doing here? Is there a problem downstairs?” Even if there was, I don’t understand why he wouldn’t just call me instead of showing up at my apartment.
“No, there’s no problem downstairs.”
“Okay. Then, what’s going on?”
“Fuck man. I don’t know.”
I open my door wider. “Come inside. Let’s talk.”
Michael and I aren’t exactly close, but we’ve always respected one another. “You know you can tell me anything. I won’t judge you. You can tell me if you’re in some kind of trouble. ”
“Stop it, man. You’re making it worse.”
“Making what worse?”
“Brigitte called Charlotte today.”
“How did she get the number?”
“She found it on your phone. She was trying to help. She just gets worked up and takes things too far sometimes.”
“Slow down. What did Brigitte want with Charlotte?”
He runs his hands through his hair and exhales loudly. “She wanted her to go away, so she accused her of manipulation and using you for your money.”
“She said that?”
“Not in those words, but yeah, that was the gist of it.”
“Fuck.” I grab my phone from my back pocket and dial Charlotte’s number.
There’s no answer. I glare at Michael. “What did Charlotte say?”
“I’m not sure. Brigitte was a little vague about her responses. But…”
“But what?”
“She said she cried out in pain at the end.”
“What!” I roar, backing Michael up against my door. “What did she say, exactly?”
“I’m not sure, man, but she looked guilty, so I think Charlotte may have fallen or hurt herself. I don’t know. That’s why I came up to talk to you so you could call and get a hold of her. When Brigitte called back, she didn’t answer, but I thought it was because she was avoiding her.”
“I don’t fucking believe this. Why would Brigitte get into my fucking business? What does this have to do with her?”
Michael shrugs. “I made some bad investments. Trudy’s family is helping us. I think Brigitte may have made some arrangement that if they help us, she will help them get Trudy closer to you.”
My hand curls up at my side, and I struggle to keep it there. I want to hit something or someone, but I don’t.
I scroll through my text messages and recall one with Sage regarding the delivery of some plants to the new house. I call her number. Fortunately, she picks up immediately.
“Hello?”
“Sage, it’s me. Is Charlotte with you? I need to speak with her. She’s not answering her phone.”
“That’s because she’s in the hospital.”
I glare at Michael. “What happened? Did she fall?”
“No, Caleb. The doctor said she’s in active labor. I was just about to call you. You need to get here as soon as you can.”
“I’m on my way. ”
I hang up the phone and push Michael out of the way. “Is she okay?” he asks.
“She’s having the baby.”
“But that’s three weeks early.”
“Yes, well, we have Brigitte to thank for that.”
“Here,” he hands me my suitcase.
I race to the elevator and my phone rings just as the doors close. The call goes straight to voicemail, probably from lack of reception in the elevator.
I check the number, hoping it’s Sage, telling me that Charlotte is okay and it was just false labor pains, but it’s not Sage. It’s Arty, Teoscar’s agent.
When the elevator doors open and I have reception again, I call him back.
“Hey Caleb, how’s it going?”
“Fine. Fine. How can I help you?”
There’s a pause. “Well, I’ve some good news. I think Teoscar’s ready to sign with the Lions! He just has a few more questions. Let’s meet at your office in an hour.”
I’ve been waiting for this call for months. I thought I’d drop everything and anything for it, but I walk through the glass doors of the office building on Seaver Way and don’t look back. “I’m sorry, Arty, but I can’t make it today.”
“What about tomorrow?”
“I won’t be in town for a while. ”
“Why not? What’s going on, Cal? Are you negotiating with someone else?”
I inhale sharply. I keep my personal life separate from my work one, but keeping this from Arty feels like it’s a dirty little secret, when it’s not.
“I’m going to be a father,” I say. “Charlotte is in the hospital having my baby.”
“Who? What!”
I connect the call to Bluetooth as I start my car. “Did I hear you right? I think we may have been disconnected.”
“No. You heard me.”
“Who the hell is Charlotte?”
“Ask Teoscar. He’s met her.”
“Alright. Well, congratulations, Cal. I can’t promise you anything when you get back. You know how this business works. Teoscar doesn’t want to deal with anyone else but you.”
“I know. I get it. But this isn’t a good time.”
“Congrats, again. And good luck.”
He ends the call, and I expect an onslaught of emotions, like anger, frustration, disappointment. And while I do feel some of those, none of them are regarding Teoscar not signing. I’m angry with Brigitte, frustrated with my brother, and disappointed that I might miss the birth of my child. I press on the gas and wish I got my helicopter license so I could fly to Cedar Brook Falls in less than an hour.
I call Sage back. “Hello?”
“I’m on my way. How is she?”
Sage doesn’t respond right away.
“Sage, what’s going on? How’s Charlotte?”
“She’s fine. Just get here safe and sound. The nurse said it’ll be awhile before the baby comes. So, take your time.”
Her voice is high-pitched, but I don’t know Sage well enough to know if that’s her excited voice or her worried one. I trust her for now and hope that she’s telling me the truth.
“Okay, I’ll see you soon.”
“Soon. Yeah. I’ve got to go.”
The line dies, and the silence strangles me. I turn on the radio to distract myself from my thoughts. Traffic is light, thank God, but time doesn’t move any quicker.
I tune into a podcast. It’s a parenting one I recently downloaded, hosted by two dads. My father was present in my life, but for reasons I can’t explain, I don’t go to him for advice. I want to be a different father than him. I want to be a friend, but also someone my child can depend on.
I smack my steering wheel. Hell of a way to start—missing the birth of my baby.
Charlie .
I promised him I’d be there for the birth.
“Come on,” I whisper to the silence.
Sitting in the car all by myself, the loneliness weighs down on me. What am I doing with my life? What is my purpose? Is it to win the World Series? To build a legacy team? Or is it more personal than that? I always thought grandiose dreams made me a bigger person. But was I happy? I don’t know if I was.
I genuinely smile whenever Charlotte walks into a room, or when she teases me or laughs at one of my stupid jokes.
I’m proud whenever Charlie throws the ball the way I showed him. My throat clogged up when he asked me if I would help him shave when the time came.
I felt connected to life in those moments. They filled my cup, as Sage would say.
When I hit the open roads, I press on the gas and speed toward Cedar Brook Falls.
In less than four hours, I pull into the local hospital’s parking lot. It’s a lot smaller than any hospital I’ve been in, and I worry about the care Charlotte and the baby will receive. I make a mental note to fly my doctor in to check on them.
The woman at the information desk recognizes me, but I don’t know where I’ve seen her before. “Charlotte’s in delivery. Take those elevators to the fourth floor. ”
“Thank you.” I press the elevator button repeatedly, willing it to move faster.
The doors finally open and I find Sage standing further down by a doorway. She stops me from entering the room. “You can’t go in there.”
“Why not?”
“The doctors are in there and they’re assessing the situation.”
“What situation?”
I step to the left to get inside the room.
I need to see her.
“The baby’s heart rate is dropping and so is Charlotte’s blood pressure. They’re looking for the cause.”
“Move out of my way, Sage.”
Charlotte’s parents stand up, and while I’ve spoken to them briefly, her mother now stands in my way. “They told us to wait here.”
“Fine. You do that if you want, but I’m going in.”
A nurse comes out of the room. “What’s going on?”
“I need to see Charlotte. I’m the father.”
She stops me when I move around her. “If you insist on going in, then you’ll have to put these on.” She hands me a gown and mask. I quickly tie the gown around my neck and put on the mask .
There are two doctors hovering around Charlotte’s legs and abdomen. One nurse is preparing a tray beside her. “Dr. Fuller, this is the baby’s father.”
I look at Charlotte’s pale face and limp body. “Can someone tell me what’s going on?”
“Charlotte’s lost a lot of blood and the baby’s heart rate is dipping. If she doesn’t deliver this baby in the next few minutes, we’ll have to take her to the operating room for a C-section.”
“Why wait? Just perform the C-section.”
“No,” says Charlotte. Her voice is hoarse. “No, C-section. I can do this.”
Despite her words, she closes her eyes. She looks exhausted. “Charlotte, baby,” I say, caressing her cheek. Her dark lashes flutter, but her lids remain down.
The heart rate monitor alarm goes off and Charlotte opens her eyes.
“The baby’s heart rate is dropping, Charlotte,” says the doctor. “If you want to do this, you need to push now.”
She moves to sit herself up, but her arms are so pale I can see the blue of her veins. “Help me,” she says, and I lift her body up, so she’s nearly sitting on the bed now.
Another monitor beeps, and I look at the nurse. “That means she’s experiencing another contraction. Now’s the time to push, Charlotte. Push. ”
Charlotte closes her eyes and bears down on her teeth. Sweat drips down her forehead and I wipe it away with a towel. “That’s it, baby.”
“Good, Charlotte. That’s good. The baby’s crowning now. You’re almost there.”
“Baby’s heart rate is improving,” says the other doctor, checking another screen.
“Okay, on the next contraction, I want you to push with everything you’ve got.”
“One, two, three, push!”
“Ah!” Charlotte screams as she bites down on a towel the nurse gives her. She squeezes my hand, and it feels as though the bones will break, but I don’t say a fucking word about it. It looks like every bone in her body is breaking right now. How the fuck is the world even populated if this is what women go through?
There’s no fucking way a man would do this once, definitely not multiple times, for fuck’s sakes.
“That’s it, Charlotte. The head’s almost out.”
I kiss the side of her face, next to her matted hair. “God, Charlotte. You’re amazing, baby. Can you keep going?”
She nods emphatically and scrunches her face when the next contraction hits. The nurse moves down to hold up her leg and I hold Charlotte’s face when her eyes widen. “Look at me, baby. Look at me. You’re doing great. ”
“One more, Charlotte. That’s it.”
I turn my back to the nurse and the doctors and stare at Charlotte. The strongest, most incredible woman I’ve ever met. She changed my life and now she’s laboring to bring our child into the world. “God, I love you,” I say and she blinks, and stares at me. “Wh—?”
“Push, Charlotte. You’re not pushing.”
Fuck, I said it out loud. I don’t care that I did, but it wasn’t the right time. “Push, baby. Push.”
She closes her eyes, grips the bedsheets at her sides, and pushes. “Ahhhh!”
“Yes, that’s it. She’s out.”
“She?” I turn to see the doctor holding a whitish-blue baby in his hands, then passing the baby to the nurse. The monitor beside me starts blaring again, but I’m mesmerized by those tiny little toes and raised fists.
Another nurse rushes into the room, carrying a bundle of towels, and starts placing them between the stirrups. Quickly, she removes one, and it’s soaked in blood, and then another. “Call the OR. We need the room now!”
“What’s happening?”
“She’s losing a lot of blood. There may be a tear or something internally. We’ve got to go in and check.”
What? !
I turn back to Charlotte and her face is now the same color as the bedsheet next to her head. “Charlotte? Charlotte!”
She opens her eyes, and I nearly fall from relief. She smiles. “Is it a girl?”
“Yes.”
“I knew it,” she breathes. “She’s beautiful.”
She stares at me, and her smile grows. “I love you, too, Caleb.”
Her eyes flutter and then stay closed. Despite the alarm bells and rustling of sheets and towels, it feels as though the world is muted. Everything around me moves in slow motion. I move to touch her face, but the nurse inserts herself between us. I move and grab her hand, but it’s cold and clammy. “Charlotte?”
“Sir, move out of the way,” the nurse says and pushes me aside. They steer her out of the room through the double doors and I remain in the silent room, frozen.
Her parents rush inside along with Sage. They stare at me. My face must terrify them because Charlotte’s mom bursts into tears.
I curl my hands into fists and shout at whatever deity would listen.
“Charlotte!”