Chapter 13
Alex
We climb the winding stairs to our hotel room—there’s no lift in a building this old.
My chest tightens with nerves. Dane and I are going to fuck now.
We’ve done it before, obviously, but this will be the first time that it’s…
what? Real? That’s not quite the right word.
Our attraction was never in doubt. But there was so much anger between us.
It seeped into everything we did, including sex.
I’m curious how different it’ll feel now that resentment has been replaced by tenderness.
It’s our first time after a real date. After the Christmas market he took me out to dinner at an Italian restaurant that was way too expensive.
I’ll have to do something about this habit of paying for everything, but I need to figure out a gentle way of insisting.
I don’t want to introduce any new animosity.
Selfishly, I’m too addicted to the way he looks at me now.
I never knew those ice-blue eyes could warm up so much.
We go into the tiny ensuite bathroom to wash off the grime of the plane journey and the city.
Dane starts to strip down, one item at a time, neat and methodical, while I kick off my trousers and throw my clothes from here.
They just manage to land over a chair in the bedroom.
He laughs at the difference between us, then holds out his arms in a lazy invitation.
I let him reel me in, loving the warmth of his strong torso as he presses me close.
“Leave the Santa hat on,” he murmurs, grabbing at the white furry pompom. “I like how you look in the Santa hat.”
“Do you have a hat thing?”
“I have a you thing. I love how you look in everything.” His gaze rakes up and down my naked body. “And how you look out of everything.”
The compliment is so sincere, heat rushes my cheeks. He looks at me for a moment and his eyes get serious.
“The song wasn’t just an apology for running out on you at the tennis match,” he says. “It was also for leaving you hanging under the mistletoe at school.”
I stare up at him, my heartbeat speeding with nerves.
Hearing him mention that horrible day out loud makes it all feel real again.
I’ve been waiting for this apology for years.
Now it’s here, I can’t help thinking that neither Dane nor I are the ones with anything to apologize for. I swallow a lump in my throat.
“It-it was Rob’s fault, not yours,” I say. “Anyway, it was ages ago.”
“You don’t have to play it down, Alex,” he says. He cups my chin in his hand to make me look at him. I don’t pull away but I close my eyes. “I know it was a bad time for you.”
It was. It led to a lot of bullying and stupid comments, some joky and some not-so-joky.
Dane has no idea how bad it got sometimes.
I never confided in him after he left me standing there at the mistletoe.
Why would I? But it showed me who my friends were, too.
A lot of people stuck up for me. I never regretted being out at school.
It seems like sneaking around and hiding has taken its toll on Dane too.
I’ve seen it in the guilt in his eyes, guilt he’s carried for seven years.
I realized it as he held his breath, almost too nervous to kiss me at the Christmas market. All choices have their ups and downs.
I open my eyes. “I shouldn’t have pushed you to kiss me at school. I should’ve known you weren’t ready. And I possibly… definitely held it against you for too long.”
“Seven years,” he deadpans. “I remember.”
I feel ashamed of myself; there’s such a sad note in his voice. I had no idea it bothered him so much. I assumed he’d moved on to new, better friends anyway.
“I was too hard on you,” I admit. “Not speaking to you, not inviting you to my parties…”
He lays a dramatic hand on his chest. “Exiling me. I was banish-ed!”
I blink. “Is that a quote from Romeo and Juliet?”
“Yep.” There’s an attempt at the patented Dane smug smile, but it’s strained with his memories of hurt. “You’re not the only one who was listening in English class. I don’t blame you for not wanting to speak to me. I do feel like I missed out on those parties, though.”
“Some idiot always took over the music.” I scowl, remembering. “Started playing rubbish.”
“I wouldn’t have let them. You should’ve invited me as bouncer if nothing else.”
“I should’ve invited you as you. I’m sorry, Dane.”
He smiles and wraps his arms around me. The warmth of his embrace suffuses me. Shows me that I’m already forgiven.
“I think we’ve both apologized enough,” he whispers.
I pull back and pretend to pout. “Not fair. Why don’t I get the chance to sing a song? I had some nice Radiohead all prepared. Plus, I might actually hit he right note once or twice… unlike some people.”
“You’re an ungrateful wee…”
I smile, reaching up to touch his cheek, and he doesn’t finish the insult.
“I’m dead serious,” he says instead. “Are you ready to move on? I am if you are.”
I really am. I’m so ready for a new chapter with Dane.
“Yes, please,” I say.
His smile lights up the room: pure joy for the future, and finally no guilt.
I could stare at it all day. He fills the bath with hot water and bubble bath from the complimentary pack at the side of the bath.
I shiver with anticipation as the bubbles rise high.
I’ve never bathed with someone before. It’s going to be a tight squeeze in this little tub.
Dane gets in and squashes himself to one side.
I wrap my legs around him and kiss him for a long time.
The hot slide of his tongue in my mouth and the steam all around us.
.. it all feels delicious after being outside in the cold for so long.
I run my hands over his collarbone, his biceps, and down the below the water line, grabbing for his dick and making him yelp.
He shampoos my hair, his hands soft and wondering.
“I never thought I’d get a chance to do this,” he says. “I know we fucked before, but I never thought you’d let me take care of you like this.”
Let him? I never want him to stop. I lean close, shutting my eyes, as he caresses me all over.
We only get out of the bath when the water gets cold and we’re starting to shiver.
We dry each other with hotel towels. I ruffle Dane’s hair hard and when I let him go he looks breathless, cheeks pink and eyes wide.
Gorgeous. On impulse I hoist him over my shoulder in a firefighter’s lift.
He’s heavier than I expected, and my ankle is only just strong enough, but I manage to carry him to the bed.
When I put him down he stares up at me in surprise, looking so good with his wet messy hair falling in his eyes.
“Bet you thought I couldn’t do that,” I say.
He pulls me down on top of him, laughing at me. “I feel like it was touch and go there for a minute.”
“Bullshit. I was in total control the whole time.”
“If you say so.”
His voice drops to a low hum. His thumb trails my jawline. My eyes close and answering him back suddenly seems like a low priority.
“I’m going to kiss you now,” he says. “If that’s okay.”
“It’s okay,” I say, my breath quickening.
“I mean, we don’t have to do anything just because I invited you on this trip,” he says, and my eyes snap open. He’s overthinking again. Who knew a sporty knucklehead would have such a mass of tortured thoughts all the time.
“I know we don’t have to,” I say. “I want to.”
His eyes stay on my face, looking thoughtful. “I invited you here to give us space to breathe, to think about the two of us away from everyone else.”
“Dane.”
“What?” he says.
“You worry about what everyone else thinks way too much.”
He gives a rueful grin. He looks so handsome as his gaze drops shyly.
The mannerism is so at odds with his powerful body, which is shown up to full naked advantage stretched out on the bed.
He looks like a Greek god with confidence issues.
Which is apparently my type, considering the heat rushing my body.
“Yeah. Maybe,” he says.
“You need to stop worrying about what everyone else thinks and start worrying about what you think.” I lift his chin with my fingers. “And more importantly, start worrying what I think.”
“I can do that.” He goes to his backpack and grabs a small bag. Now what’s he up to? As he opens it, small red petals spill out. He’s brought rose petals with him. Dane, of all people. He strews them all over the bed with a ridiculously happy look all over his face.
“I always wanted to do this like this,” he says.
“Like what?”
He looks at me, and the expression in his eyes melts me right down to nothing. “In a proper bed, all romantic and shit-I mean, and stuff.”
“It’s very romantic and shit,” I agree.
He trails kisses all the way down my torso, over my stomach, and then his kisses reach my dick and I’m forgetting everything.
He licks all the way up the shaft in one lazy motion.
I bite my lip, head flying back. Dane looks up, and whatever he sees on my face sends fire rushing into his eyes.
He dips his head again and engulfs me. He bobs his head up and down and I tangle my fingers in his hair, gently showing him the right rhythm.
My breath shortens, too fast. I don’t want to come yet.
I want to make this last. I scooch down and try to return the favor.
“Nope. You’re going to come first,” he murmurs, not even bothering to take his lips off my dick.
“Why do you have to be so competitive?” I complain.
He finally takes my dick out of his mouth, looking surprised at the question. “Because it’s who I am.”
“But I thought we were past all that.” My voice is low and cajoling. I run my tongue up the underside of his dick and he shudders all over. “I thought we were on the same team now.”
He shivers, putty in my hands. “We are,” he says. “We definitely are.”
And just like that, I get my way. He lets me suck him off, taking his hard length deeper and deeper, lapping at his wet slit.
His chest shudders as I tease behind his balls with my fingers.
I creep farther back, teasing his perineum, and then ever so slowly circle his hole.
He stiffens and his breath catches and he makes a very eager whimpering sound.
I know how he sounds pretty well by now.
But this time his moans are softer and more loving than usual, like he doesn’t have to pretend to be my enemy anymore.
He can surrender and admit to just how much pleasure I’m giving him.
I keep bobbing my head as I keep teasing at his hole without entering.
I roll his balls around in my fingers, drawing weird throaty noises from him.
“Okay there?” I say.
“Mmmm. Yes.”
He likes that, so I give him more, then start to lick and suck at his balls.
We’re going way slower than usual, without the ferocious almost-fighting vibe that we usually have.
I’m loving the soft whimpering sounds I’m drawing from him.
Love savoring every inch of him, reading his body’s signals and lazily giving him pleasure instead of our usual angry race to get off.
I suck him harder, his rigid shaft filling my mouth, turning me on until my erection rivals his.
I dig at his tight thigh muscles with my fingers, my dark-painted nails contrasting with his pale skin.
He gasps, his fingers tightening in my hair.
“Shit, Alex, I’m gonna—”
His whole body tenses as he spurts in my mouth. I swallow, proud of myself as I realize that was the best blowjob I’ve ever given him. Before I can wipe my mouth, he kisses the evidence from my lips.
“How’d you manage to overtake me?” he grumbles, but he’s smiling. “I told you I wanted you to come first.”
“I can be competitive too,” I say.
“Come here, you...”
He grabs my hips and pulls, slamming me onto my back on the bed.
I shriek and laugh as he dives into blowing me again like he’s going for some kind of world speed record.
I’m already dangerously hard just from sucking him off.
Within a couple of seconds I shoot down his throat.
He wraps his arms around me and holds me tight, wanting to feel the orgasm run through me.
I bury my face in his neck, feeling like I’m soaring.
That was fucking amazing. So much better than when we hated each other.
My brain is shutting down, overloaded with pleasure.
I wanted him to fuck me tonight, but all of a sudden I’m exhausted with the afterglow of the orgasm and the long day of traveling.
Dane’s eyes are hooded with sleepy happiness instead of lust now.
He makes a halfhearted attempt to clean us up with a tissue from the nightstand. Then he pulls the covers over us both.