Chapter 14
Kade
I was sitting on the porch, sipping a beer. The sun had set an hour ago and every movement drew my eye in anticipation. The situation was becoming dire enough that I was calling the one person I shouldn’t. Not because he was a bad guy, but because I’d pay a price for any help I’d get. Unfortunately, he was the only one I felt I could say this to.
I called my brother, who picked up right away.
“What’s up?”
“I’ve got an issue.” I took a long swig of my beer.
Alec’s voice immediately dropped. “What’s wrong?”
He might be a ball buster, but there was no one else I’d call in the middle of the night if I had a shovel in one hand and a bottle of bleach in the other.
“I’m going to tell you something I know I’ll regret.”
“You want to fuck her,” he said.
I let out a soft groan. “Yes.”
He laughed. “Sometimes you make things a little too easy.”
Easy for him, maybe. I was being put through slow mental torture.
“I’m having an issue getting my brain off her. Can you not be an asshole for five minutes and tell me if you’ve ever had this issue and what you did?”
There was a pause, as if he were truly thinking it over. “Nope. I’ve never had this issue.”
“Never?” I said.
“I’m good-looking, rich, and have charm for days. Someone starts to get under my skin, I fuck them like we we’re circus freaks for hours, days if needed, and exorcise them from my psyche before it can get out of hand. After that, I can move on and avoid any problems.”
“What the hell do I do? I need an actual solution,” I said.
“I don’t see a way around this. There’s only one way.” He paused for a second before stating, “I hate to tell you this, but you’re going to have to fuck her.”
Why? Why had I called him? I’d known what I was going to get.
“That is not the correct answer. I’m not sure why I tell you things. I should know by now you’ll tell me to go with the most morally bankrupt choice available.”
“What’s so bad about fucking her? Don’t tell me you’re turning into a prude. It’s not like you’ve ever been a saint in that area.”
“Even if there weren’t a list of reasons why that was bad, I signed a legal document that I wasn’t romantically involved with her, nor would I be. Not only would I be breaking my word, I’d be violating a court order if I slept with her.” I wasn’t going to tell him how I’d double-checked the paperwork again today, just to make sure there wasn’t some wiggle room.
“You’re acting like it’s a problem, but I know that your relationship got this situation arranged in the first place. That judge won’t do shit to you but slap you on the back.”
He spoke like a person whose life always magically worked out. Even when we were kids, and I was working myself to death to keep the ranch, he’d walked away without a qualm to go work in tech. It had worked out well for him, like everything seemed to. Of course he didn’t worry about what he said on an open phone line. The universe seemed to continuously protect him from fallout.
“That’s not true,” I said, not so sure I’d be included in his protection umbrella. I wasn’t surprised that he’d figured out the connection with the judge, but did he have to call it out on the phone? I was going to have to slap him upside the head next time he was here and warn him to watch his mouth.
“Uh huh. Sure it’s not.”
“That wouldn’t work anyway. One, she’s got a boyfriend. Two, she hates me, so sleeping with her isn’t a possibility.” Hate might be a strong word, and yet it seemed to fit.
“One, who cares if she’s got a boyfriend? Two, she only hates you because you hated her first, and for a stupid fucking reason if you ask me.”
“She spoke out of turn and made me lose my loan. Not that it matters anymore. She hates me now, and she’s not as fickle with her feelings as the hookers you bang.” I’d met enough that they’d started to look like a carbon copies of each other.
“You dug in, didn’t you? You couldn’t just make the best of the situation. You had to be stubborn and make her know where you two stood.” He was talking like someone who’d just laid down a full house.
“It’s called setting boundaries, not that you’d know anything about that.”
“Okay, well, how are all those boundaries working out for you now?”
“Like shit.” There was no point in denying it at this point.
“So how bad did you piss her off since she’s been there?”
I could hear him smiling at my misery on the other end of the phone. I should probably lie, but I was too desperate to care.
“Bad enough that fucking her isn’t an option and I need to get her out of my head. Do you have any real suggestions?”
“You can’t just fuck someone else?” he said, speaking like a man who had never been on the brink of getting pulled into the abyss.
“No. I seem to have no interest.” I didn’t bother telling him I’d already tried.
“Then you’re going to have to fix things up and fuck her. It’s the only way.”
“What if that makes it worse?” For some reason, I was scared shitless that a one-time fuck might end up being not a one-time deal. I was beginning to fear this was a terminal sort of situation that wasn’t going to heal.
There was a long pause before he said, “Nah. That shit can’t happen to us. We fall when we choose. We aren’t the kind of suckers that get hit with that lightning-bolt crap. Cupid can go fuck himself,” he added, laughing. “Just hang tight. I’ll be there in a few days and maybe I’ll take her off your hands.”
“Go fuck yourself,” I said before hanging up on him.
My phone buzzed on the seat beside me two minutes later. I thought it was going to be a follow-up from Alec, but when I looked at the phone I saw a message from Melissa pop up.
Melissa: Are you feeling any better? I haven’t heard from you. Do you need me to come check on you?
I should call her, tell her I was feeling better. Tell her to get her ass out here and then bang her until she couldn’t walk straight and I stopped thinking of Leah.
Except not a single cell in my body wanted to see her, and the thought of her naked didn’t make my dick even twitch. Yet I spotted Leah a hundred yards away bending over to fix her boot and I had to readjust myself.
Me: I’m on the mend. Buried under work for the next few weeks.
Hopefully she’d take the hint and I wouldn’t have to spell it out.
My phone lit up again, Melissa calling now. I groaned for a second before I answered. Easier to hack off the dying limb than watch it go gangrenous.
“Hey,” I answered, trying to sound cordial even as I dreaded this call. She would either get bitchy or sad, and I didn’t want to deal with either, but I had to. If I was lucky, she’d get bitchy. Sad always fucked me in the head.
“Hi. I wanted to see how work was going because I haven’t heard from you.”
Sad. Dammit.
“I’m sorry. Just been really snowed under,” I said.
“Want me to bring you some dinner tonight? I make a really good meatloaf, and you have to eat.”
I rubbed the back of my neck. She wasn’t going to make this easy.
“Not sure that’s a good idea. I’m going to be buried for a while. I’ve got a lot going on and I don’t think I can spare time for distractions.”
“Are you dumping me?” she said.
The edge in her voice was definitely harsher now, but things could always take a turn back to sad. I wasn’t off the hook yet.
“ Dumping is a harsh word, but I do think perhaps we should put anything romantic on the back burner for a while.”
There was a pause, and I could almost envision her lips parted in shock.
“You are dumping me.”
“I’m not dumping you. We weren’t in a committed relationship. I told you I wasn’t looking for anything serious.”
“Do you realize how many men want me, and I wasted my time with you, some hick rancher?”
She’d taken the low road, making things so much easier. “Well, then you should probably give those men a chance. I wish nothing but the best for you.”
“You’re going to regret this, and when you call? I won’t be answering the phone. I’ll have moved on.”
Nope, I wouldn’t be calling. “Okay, I’m very sorry and I do wish the best for you.”
“Actually, don’t even try to call, because I’m going to block your number!” Her voice had gone shrill.
“It’s what I deserve.” I tried to sound somber. I waited to see what she’d fire off next, but then looked at my phone and saw she’d ended the call.
That had actually gone way better than I’d thought it would.
She’d probably make someone a good girlfriend or wife. Just not me, when I couldn’t get my mind off Leah.
I leaned back, rocking on the porch swing and wondering if I should do exactly what Alec had said and just fuck Leah already. If I was sure it would help, I might, but I had a bad feeling that getting more involved was like playing Russian roulette with my soul.